SmashSmashBam
Member
This is long, bear with me here!
So, I met my boyfriend of 5 months online, we were both on dating websites and decided to become friends on some of our online games. Within a month we were talking about meeting for the first time, he lives 3 hours away from me, but we both have cars and ended up alternating weekends to see each other. The first day we met we had a immediate attraction, and he stayed at my house the entire weekend. We're both very big "gamers" so he became friends with my online friends very quickly and he was a huge part of our "group". He was younger than me, 21 years old, diagnosed with ADHD, and still in college while I'm 24 and I own my own business. We both had the same personalities, the same interests and everything was going absolutely great. Our friends called us the perfect couple, we were always telling each other we loved each other and were very vocal and affectionate, him more than me most of the time. He bought me a $800 camera, a $400 tablet computer and many many other things during our time together, I would tell him no and he would spend the money anyways (he does have the money, he wasn't putting himself in debt or anything). He always wanted to pay for everything, including our dinners and lunches and stuff. And he was always telling me how much he loved me, everyday, multiple times to the point where his sister and mother would tease him about it.
Everything was going well, he had just come to visit me, but expressed he wanted to spend more time with his family since he hadn't seen his mother. I told him that was absolutely fine, though I did show a bit of disappointment he was leaving early.
He came home, and was starting to act a little strange... he seemed stressed out by something, and I couldn't figure out what. And he started to seem to... "pull" away from me. But he still texted me all the time telling me he loved me, so I put it on the back burner. So about two days after he had left, he fell asleep one night, and I had just finished working and I was horribly stressed and very hormonal from my menstrual cycle (I tend to overthink things when I'm like this) and I texted him telling him "We need to talk, I don't even know if you're happy anymore in this relationship. Meany
" and I immediately apologized, telling him I was sorry and I'm just over thinking something that isn't there.
So, after he woke up and texted me back, we got on Skype together, talking and chatting but he was very very quiet. He said the texts irritated him, and I apologized, letting him know I didn't mean them... and I was just over thinking and being weird. He said that was fine, but continued to be quiet. He then let me know he had to go get ready for work, told me he loved me and signed off Skype. I then texted him and asked "Are we okay?" To which he replied "I don't know..." and then said "This distance is hard to deal with." and I asked "Do you... want to end things?" And then he replied "Yes, I still want to be friends, I'm sorry I hurt you."... and then he shut off his phone and wouldn't speak to me half the day. When he finally did, he let me know he got frustrated with the texts, and the distance was hard and he wanted to spend more time with his friends and family and felt he was alienating himself from them. But he always wanted to see me... I let him know I would never take him away from his friends or family, and I only thought he wanted to come over every weekend because he told me he did. He told me he wanted to see me all the time, and so he did, even if my business wouldn't let me go over to his place, he'd come to mine. Then I asked him "Do you want this to end for real?" and he said "I don't know, I have to think about it." I asked him if there was someone else, and he replied there was no one else.
Now, he didn't really speak to me for a day and a half, until I messaged his mother and asked her if he was okay. I was very worried about him, especially since he went from messaging me nonstop all day, to nothing at all. She told me he said I need to stop obsessing over him and get over it. To which I replied I was not obsessing, and that he had dumped me out of the blue, with no real explanation. So then I just left him be... and told him I was done, that had hurt me really bad since he was the one who wanted to see me all the time, and was the one in our relationship who was "obsessed". I told him I wanted my belongings back, and that I was done with this relationship. It was only then that he messaged me on Facebook, and told me he never said that and that his mother didn't know the full story and those were her words, and not his own. He then asked how I could even think he would say such a thing about me, and I told him I didn't know what to trust anymore because he had left me out of the blue. He then told me he still loved me, but the texts I had sent him the day before had hurt him a lot, and that it hurt not being around me 100% of the time. He then told me he would Skype with me later, to which he never did, and ignored my texts and calls all night.
That night, after I was done crying his sister called me, and told me that this wasn't new behavior for him. That he had done this before, though not to a girlfriend since I was his first "real" girlfriend. She told me he gets into... "funks" where he doesn't want to speak to anyone, he doesn't do anything, all he does is play video games. She told me she knows he loves me, and that he'll come back soon, but that I just need to leave him be.
The next day, I wasn't speaking to him, I had left him a small message letting him know I loved him still and I was waiting for when he wanted to talk to me. I signed on one of the games we always played, and he was online, so I figured I'd reach out, and tell him hello. He replied! And he kept talking to me, he almost seemed normal, though a bit uncomfortable to be talking to me it seemed. He was sending me little emoticon hearts like he used to, and being his normal silly self. I told him I added him back as my boyfriend on Facebook because I didn't know what was going on, and I had some random people asking me out and it was weird. He didn't even hesitate to add me back as his girlfriend on there. He told me he'd protect me from the thunderstorms in my area (I am very afraid of storms) and that he'd Skype with me. He signed on Skype, we talked and he seemed okay, but soon I was initiating the conversation and he seemed... uncomfortable. He finally called me on there and we chatted a bit about random things, and then I bit the bullet and asked him if I should wait around for his decision, or if I should move on. He told me I should move on, because he was having a hard time with the decision. I then told him I didn't want to move on... and that I loved him, and I asked him if he loved and missed me, to which he replied to both that he did. He then got really quiet and said he wanted to go take a nap and think about it more. I told him I loved him before he hung up, and he replied the same.
Two days later... he hadn't spoken to me at all. Not a peep. He seemed to be avoiding me every time I signed on my game to play with some friends. He didn't call me or message me at all, to which I found out later he hadn't seen his phone in two days. Last night, I signed on and randomly decided to message him since I was in a Skype call with all of our friends. He answered again, acting like his normal self. He told me he missed me, and that he loved me, was sending me emoticons and was acting as normal as he had in days. He signed off without saying goodbye, and then hasn't talked since.
I have no flipping idea what is going on. I am seriously confused, and while I realize he's in a funk, I just need maybe some other insight on this matter so I can decide my next move except "not talking to him". Thank you.
So, I met my boyfriend of 5 months online, we were both on dating websites and decided to become friends on some of our online games. Within a month we were talking about meeting for the first time, he lives 3 hours away from me, but we both have cars and ended up alternating weekends to see each other. The first day we met we had a immediate attraction, and he stayed at my house the entire weekend. We're both very big "gamers" so he became friends with my online friends very quickly and he was a huge part of our "group". He was younger than me, 21 years old, diagnosed with ADHD, and still in college while I'm 24 and I own my own business. We both had the same personalities, the same interests and everything was going absolutely great. Our friends called us the perfect couple, we were always telling each other we loved each other and were very vocal and affectionate, him more than me most of the time. He bought me a $800 camera, a $400 tablet computer and many many other things during our time together, I would tell him no and he would spend the money anyways (he does have the money, he wasn't putting himself in debt or anything). He always wanted to pay for everything, including our dinners and lunches and stuff. And he was always telling me how much he loved me, everyday, multiple times to the point where his sister and mother would tease him about it.
Everything was going well, he had just come to visit me, but expressed he wanted to spend more time with his family since he hadn't seen his mother. I told him that was absolutely fine, though I did show a bit of disappointment he was leaving early.
He came home, and was starting to act a little strange... he seemed stressed out by something, and I couldn't figure out what. And he started to seem to... "pull" away from me. But he still texted me all the time telling me he loved me, so I put it on the back burner. So about two days after he had left, he fell asleep one night, and I had just finished working and I was horribly stressed and very hormonal from my menstrual cycle (I tend to overthink things when I'm like this) and I texted him telling him "We need to talk, I don't even know if you're happy anymore in this relationship. Meany
" and I immediately apologized, telling him I was sorry and I'm just over thinking something that isn't there. So, after he woke up and texted me back, we got on Skype together, talking and chatting but he was very very quiet. He said the texts irritated him, and I apologized, letting him know I didn't mean them... and I was just over thinking and being weird. He said that was fine, but continued to be quiet. He then let me know he had to go get ready for work, told me he loved me and signed off Skype. I then texted him and asked "Are we okay?" To which he replied "I don't know..." and then said "This distance is hard to deal with." and I asked "Do you... want to end things?" And then he replied "Yes, I still want to be friends, I'm sorry I hurt you."... and then he shut off his phone and wouldn't speak to me half the day. When he finally did, he let me know he got frustrated with the texts, and the distance was hard and he wanted to spend more time with his friends and family and felt he was alienating himself from them. But he always wanted to see me... I let him know I would never take him away from his friends or family, and I only thought he wanted to come over every weekend because he told me he did. He told me he wanted to see me all the time, and so he did, even if my business wouldn't let me go over to his place, he'd come to mine. Then I asked him "Do you want this to end for real?" and he said "I don't know, I have to think about it." I asked him if there was someone else, and he replied there was no one else.
Now, he didn't really speak to me for a day and a half, until I messaged his mother and asked her if he was okay. I was very worried about him, especially since he went from messaging me nonstop all day, to nothing at all. She told me he said I need to stop obsessing over him and get over it. To which I replied I was not obsessing, and that he had dumped me out of the blue, with no real explanation. So then I just left him be... and told him I was done, that had hurt me really bad since he was the one who wanted to see me all the time, and was the one in our relationship who was "obsessed". I told him I wanted my belongings back, and that I was done with this relationship. It was only then that he messaged me on Facebook, and told me he never said that and that his mother didn't know the full story and those were her words, and not his own. He then asked how I could even think he would say such a thing about me, and I told him I didn't know what to trust anymore because he had left me out of the blue. He then told me he still loved me, but the texts I had sent him the day before had hurt him a lot, and that it hurt not being around me 100% of the time. He then told me he would Skype with me later, to which he never did, and ignored my texts and calls all night.
That night, after I was done crying his sister called me, and told me that this wasn't new behavior for him. That he had done this before, though not to a girlfriend since I was his first "real" girlfriend. She told me he gets into... "funks" where he doesn't want to speak to anyone, he doesn't do anything, all he does is play video games. She told me she knows he loves me, and that he'll come back soon, but that I just need to leave him be.
The next day, I wasn't speaking to him, I had left him a small message letting him know I loved him still and I was waiting for when he wanted to talk to me. I signed on one of the games we always played, and he was online, so I figured I'd reach out, and tell him hello. He replied! And he kept talking to me, he almost seemed normal, though a bit uncomfortable to be talking to me it seemed. He was sending me little emoticon hearts like he used to, and being his normal silly self. I told him I added him back as my boyfriend on Facebook because I didn't know what was going on, and I had some random people asking me out and it was weird. He didn't even hesitate to add me back as his girlfriend on there. He told me he'd protect me from the thunderstorms in my area (I am very afraid of storms) and that he'd Skype with me. He signed on Skype, we talked and he seemed okay, but soon I was initiating the conversation and he seemed... uncomfortable. He finally called me on there and we chatted a bit about random things, and then I bit the bullet and asked him if I should wait around for his decision, or if I should move on. He told me I should move on, because he was having a hard time with the decision. I then told him I didn't want to move on... and that I loved him, and I asked him if he loved and missed me, to which he replied to both that he did. He then got really quiet and said he wanted to go take a nap and think about it more. I told him I loved him before he hung up, and he replied the same.
Two days later... he hadn't spoken to me at all. Not a peep. He seemed to be avoiding me every time I signed on my game to play with some friends. He didn't call me or message me at all, to which I found out later he hadn't seen his phone in two days. Last night, I signed on and randomly decided to message him since I was in a Skype call with all of our friends. He answered again, acting like his normal self. He told me he missed me, and that he loved me, was sending me emoticons and was acting as normal as he had in days. He signed off without saying goodbye, and then hasn't talked since.
I have no flipping idea what is going on. I am seriously confused, and while I realize he's in a funk, I just need maybe some other insight on this matter so I can decide my next move except "not talking to him". Thank you.
