How do I justify my MAC addiction to my fiance?

[jacquelinda]

Hey dolls. im jackie and im fairly new around specktra.

i have a problem, my fiance doesn't like my make-up collection. mostly because he knows just about how much everything is worth. every time i come home with the black bag, he just wants to see the receipt

i always justify my mac purchases as an "investment" with a "but baby, these will last me for so long" and his response is "but you dont need it" blah blah. it isnt fair when he comes home with video games, probably worth $50 each.

we aren't struggling financially but i cant help seeing those pretty veluxe pearls e/s and those lippies who need a good home in my traincase lol. He always says it doesnt seem necessary especially during a recession and I even opened up a new credit card so he wouldnt see how much i actually spend, afterall, it is my money but i also have to think about our union.

any suggestions to defend my mac purchases? thanks

 

[Shazy]

Gimme his number and let my fiance have a talk with him! He should be more than happy that you haven't let yourself go and take pride in the way you look!!! Some women lose that. Or you could just run around with him sans makeup and just sweats when you go out and see how he likes it...I bet it'll change his mind and he wont say a word!

 

[TISH1124]

I don't justify my purchases....mainly because my dh spends a hell of lot more on his studio equipment, music, golf & truck than I could ever spend on mu.....Now if he spends nothing on things he enjoys...that may be hard....and he needs to find things he likes to do

 

[darklocke]

I would never let my fiancé or husband tell me what to do or not, as long as I don't do that to him. If it's your money, well.. then it's your money, and you should be able to spend it the way you want - ESPECIALLY if you have the financial possibility to do so. To me it's all about respect, and I would not appreciate being talked down to, as long as I contribute my share in all that is needed in a relationship.

Of course.. if all my money went into feeding my MU-addiction, leaving me broke with no money for food and bills, then I would understand the concern.

 

[Skin*Deep]

I think that you want it and you bought it is justification......if you don't send him on a guilt trip everytime he buys something, why should he do it to you? My hubby knew when he met me I spent a small fortune on makeup and clothes, and he accepted it, he even financed my addiction for the three years I stayed at home with the kids.....takes a certain kind of guy to support it, I guess

 

[pink_lily82]

I also agree with everyone in that you shouldn't need to justify your purchases that you make with your own money. Especially if he spends his own money on his hobbies as well. But a talk about this may be needed. I know that I have my interests and my bf has his. We've already has a discussion about our future together. We will both equally contribute to a single account for joint expenses: bills, household stuff, vacations, etc... But we will each maintain our own separate accounts for personal expenses. That way, it will remain fair and no one has to feel guilty about spending their money on personal stuff. Respect extends both ways, your fiance has to give it to get it.

 

[Willa]

My man always notice when I buy new stuff but he never complains because he knows it's investment in my MUA carreer.

I don't know if you're planning on becoming a MUA, or if it's just for the fun of having a lot of makeup (I love it too!) but you tell that as an argument

If you are not exagerating on your purchases and still have money to pay your bills, he doesnt have a word to say! Come on you're a grown lady

 

[ForgetRegret]

I suppose I can see where his concern is coming from, that right now your purchases are fine, you have the money for it, etc., but he could be thinking about the future when the two of you have added expenses and responsibilities (a house, child, etc etc...), or heaven forbid one of you happens to lose your job. That being said, I don't think you should have to justify your purchases to him...it's YOUR money, and you should be free to do what you will with it. So long as your bills are paid, and you're not always broke and starving, it shouldn't be an issue.
Perhaps you could sit down with him and ask him where those concerns are coming from, and if it's simply because he thinks you don't need it, kindly (you don't want to start a fight, I'm sure) let him know that you don't tell him he doesn't need his $50 video games. If you're not hounding him about his recreational purchases (that totally sounds like a drug reference...LOL), then he shouldn't get on you about yours either.
GL hun, and I hope he comes to his senses, or at least presents you with a valid concern that you can put his mind at ease about.

 

[Nzsallyb]

when my DBF says "you've been to MAC again?", i just remind him of his expensive hobby - his car.

 

[outinapout]

First, thank him for saying you don't need it- he's probably just telling you that you're beautiful the way you are. Then explain to him that some people drink, some gamble, some paint, some PLAY VIDEO GAMES, this is just a past time that you enjoy- the creative outlet that makeup artistry creates is often under-rated, especially by men. I'd also look at the time you spend playing w/ your makeup- is it possible that it takes time away from the two of you? Perhaps he's just feeling neglected. I know this was the case when I started being more active as a freelancer, started writing a blog, etc...

I do agree with everyone that says that he shouldn't dictate what you spend your money on if he has equally frivolous purchases- that's another scenario all together!

 

[tepa1974]

I've given up on trying to justify my makeup purchases. Sometimes it seems as though my BF is "jealous" of my hobby (or addiction as he calls it! LOL) I just don't share what I buy and that sucks because I get sooooo excited. Oh well. Beats getting into arguments about how I don't NEED another purple/brown/green, etc. shadow.

 

[Dahlia_Rayn]

My husband is one of those men that doesn't understand cosmetics, he nearly refuses to buy them for me even as gifts for my birthday or Christmas. I buy what I like, but keep it to myself, it's not worth the argument, and as long as the bills are getting paid (which they are) and he has money for his hobby (fishing...and believe me, he spends some money on that hobby) then I feel my purchasing an eye shadow or nail polish is not such a bad thing. To remedy the situation in part, we've set up weekly allowances so that we're allowed to spend so much per week (we can save it up for bigger purchases) on things that the other person may find frivolous, and no matter how it's spent nothing can be said!

 

[Lapis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 I don't justify my purchases....mainly because my dh spends a hell of lot more on his studio equipment, music, golf & truck than I could ever spend on mu.....Now if he spends nothing on things he enjoys...that may be hard....and he needs to find things he likes to do

My dh has never said a word, hell he supports me in my foolishness but if he was to start I'd explain he has his hobbies I have mine, if he didn't shut up I'd pic apart his receipts too!

PS if my dh did that I'd blow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are an adult not some child that he can go through your receipts and deem stuff not necessary

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dahlia_Rayn My husband is one of those men that doesn't understand cosmetics, he nearly refuses to buy them for me even as gifts for my birthday or Christmas.

All he needs to get is that it makes you happy!

 

[VeXedPiNk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tepa1974 Beats getting into arguments about how I don't NEED another purple/brown/green, etc. shadow.

I think this sums it up perfectly... guys simply don't understand how we can spend so much money on our make-up because they don't see the difference from one colour to another. My bf has made plenty of comments about "why do I needed ANOTHER green". Why? Because it's not the same green as the other 8 greens I have. Period. haha

But honestly, you shouldn't have to justify yourself. Bottom line: if your bills are getting paid, then the excess money is yours to spend at will. And it could certainly be spent on a lot worse ways than make-up!

 

[jacquelinda]

aww thanks ladies for all the kind words. we had a long talk about it and whatever makes me happy he wants me to go for it. i'll leave him alone with his hobbies and he'll do the same for me. he just doesnt like that its simply makeup and how much mac actually costs lol

 

[palmetto_barbie]

if he spends that much on video games you have nothing tro justify...makeup is a HOBBY, an ART... tell him to be thankful he's got a future wifey with aesthetic taste