I need MAJOR advice, please???

[LittleDevil]

Ok, so this is somewhat a long story, I'm going to try and make short.

****Please dont leave me any comments about one night stands, or anything like that, thanks*********

In November of 2006, the playstation 3's were being released. I camped out in front of best buy with my brothers to get one. The group next to us was a bunch of guys. One of them was really hot, and he just stood out from the rest. I never really thought much of it (I have extremely low self esteem). So after those 40 something hours camping there, I never saw him again.....Until December of last year. I was at a bar, and he was there. I noticed him right away. Something about him I was intrigued about, and VERY attracted to him...I never just walk up to a guy and talk to them (again the low self esteem, and extreme shyness).....Well, I had been drinking, and I am not as shy with a few sex on the beaches.....I went and asked him if he remembered me, (mind you this was a year ago) and he did......we talked and nothing ever transpired....Ok, so flash forward to last weekend. I went to the bar with some friends. We walked outside and he was one of the first people I saw.....I was sooo excited, but I wouldnt dare go talk to him, until I had some "truth serum"......I had my eye on him all night, and when I finally was daring enough, I walked over to him and asked him if he remembered me.....and he did....Ok, that was 2 years ago when I first saw him.....So we talked and whatnot for a long time......my friends were ready to go, and I definitely wasnt.....I told them to leave me there and I'd get home somehow.....So about a half an hour later, his friend he was there with texted him and wanted to know what was going on, and he looked at me and asked me, like I was making the decisions....So i was ready to leave finally and I called a taxi.....well, he came home with me......i was in total AW....I mean I NEVER get the guy I want.....ok, so whatever happened and we went to sleep.....I woke up early the next morning (sick) and he was still sleeping.....I am sitting in my living room thinking "oh my gosh, did that really happen"......So I'm thinking to myself, ok, he's going to wake up and be like "what the f*ck, I cant believe I went home with her.....So I put it in my mind that it was a one night thing, and that was it.....he kept sleeping forever and i finally went in there in the afternoon and asked him if he was going to get up or what.....he gets up, comes out to the living room, where I am watching football and sits......were both kind of watching the game, but i'm ready to get it over with seeing as I had the pre-conceived notion that I wasnt going to see him or talk to him again.....so i ask him if he wants me to take him home, and he says sure......still not getting his shoes on or anything,.....so i ask, do you want to watch the game or what?......( i now look back and cant believe what a bitch i must've sounded like).......he puts his shoes on and im driving him home.....still in my mind thinking that this was a once in a lifetime thing......we didnt really talk on the way to his place, but it wasnt dead silent/akwardness either.....so i pull up in front, and he doesnt get out right away, he sits there and stares at me.....i didnt know what to do, so i responded with a "what?".....and then he said "well i guess i'll see you around" and then got out.....NO NUMBERS EXCHANGED OR NOTHING.....k, now I am thinking back and I felt like I pushed him away. I dont think it was going to end like I had prepared for. There's so many clues that it didnt have to end the way it did. I have spent the last week thinking about it 24/7.....like seriously stressing about it. I want to talk to him again and see if there's something there. I want to find him so bad, but I dont know how, and its not something that was just ok, whatever, its different with him. I keep looking at it both ways. I honestly dont think it ended right, and i was the one doing the pushing and then i think what if im getting my hopes up for nothing. i think it would be different if i knew that it was a one time deal, and that was it, but the fact that I dont know and cant get ahold of him to find out is killing me. I went to the same bar last night, but didnt see him. I think he had to work (he's military) I am going to go again tonight and hopefully he's there. If i talk to him and find out that what happened, happened for a reason, then ok, im fine with that, but I want to know if there can be more. I just have to know.....


I'm really sorry this is sooooo long, but I dont know who else to vent to and I need some MAJOR advice here.....


P.S. I hope this makes sense, I just typed away....

 

[MissResha]

ok, before i give you a few pennies lol, i wanna know when you guys finally sat and talked for, as you said, a long time...what was the discussion, what did ya'll talk about?

thats an important piece of this puzzle.

 

[LittleDevil]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissResha ok, before i give you a few pennies lol, i wanna know when you guys finally sat and talked for, as you said, a long time...what was the discussion, what did ya'll talk about? thats an important piece of this puzzle.

OK, I'm not going to lie, I was drunk, so there wasn't a major conversation happening, but I do remember a lot of things about him.....like: where he works, what he actually does there, where he's originally from, where else he hangs out at (his fav bar).......he has a sister, hes the oldest, she has a 3 yr old......like there wasnt an actual deep conversation, but I do remember everything he said

Hope this helps, I really need the advice

 

[MissResha]

ok one more question

did you at all tell him that you were interested in him, did ya'll talk about relationships at all? at any point in time..

 

[Stephy171]

to me the fact that this guy just kept sticking around meant that he was digging you he is prob. just as shy and dose not know where to begin! lol i hope you do get to see him again and maybe be a lil more talkativee!!!! good luck

 

[banjobama]

If he didn't ask for your number, then you aren't going to see him again. If you do run into him, it will be coincidence, and it will probably freak him out.

One night stands are fun. You do what you want, and don't be dumb about it (e.g. don't get pregnant!), and move on. Some people can handle this kind of relationship and some people can't.

I had a one night stand when I was 19 with a guy that I thought was so hot, he'd never look at me twice, but I ended up spending the night there. From that experience I learned that nobody is "too hot" for me to date, and it was a huge self-esteem boost. I suggest you try to think of your situation the same way.

If you guys had sex, there is no way he'd be too shy after that to ask for your number. He just didn't want to, and that is not a reflection on you. Maybe he has a girlfriend back home, if he's in the military. Who knows. You will find your perfect man one day and be glad this one got away.

 

[COBI]

I don't know, I think it's possible that he didn't ask for her number because he was feeding off her vibe. He didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave, she seemed to be in a hurry to have him leave. It's definitely possible that he didn't want to seem more interested than her.

Of course, he may not have been in a hurry hoping they'd have sex again. He may have been staring at you in the car because he was internally debating whether to tell you about an STD. Not saying that's what it was, but who knows what was going on in his head? That's now three possible scenarios, and there are likely many more possibilities.

Unfortunately, LittleDevil, there's only one person who can answer your questions with any accuracy.

All the best.

 

[leenybeeny]

It seems like he was waiting for you.. you were the agressor both times, approaching him. I would go to his house, knock on his door, and laugh with him about how shy and akward you felt the morning after because it's not something you normally do, and if he'd like to go out sometime. Do it girl! Good luck!

 

[AngelBunny]

Quote:

Originally Posted by leenybeeny It seems like he was waiting for you.. you were the agressor both times, approaching him. I would go to his house, knock on his door, and laugh with him about how shy and akward you felt the morning after because it's not something you normally do, and if he'd like to go out sometime. Do it girl! Good luck!

I agree with this completely! You know where he lives ... just show up and tell him about it (while trying to act all sheepish and girly or whatever) and ask him what he thinks. If his reaction is "um ... well ... yada yada" then maybe he isn't interested. If he is like "Wow! I wasn't expecting you to show up!" and seems genuinely interested that you are there then you have a shot with him. You should be able to tell almost immediately through his reaction what is going on because this dude doesn't really seem all that hard to read.

I also agree that this should be a huge confidence boost for you ... you saw something you wanted and you got it! Good for you!

 

[iio]

Ah I know how you feel...I think that you were doubting yourself to much and expected the worse so you felt that it was best to just have him go. But from what you have said about him wanting more...he probably did. Hopefully you see him again and this time you can ask for his number.

 

[LittleDevil]

Thank you so much girls. I needed to hear all of those comments. So I have a little dilemma though.....when I dropped him off, it wasn't at his house, it was at a convenient store across from base. I didnt want to take him all the way to his barracks, military police can be a pain in the ass, so instead of dealing with them I dropped him off there, which was ok with him. I dont know how to find him. I seriously cant stop thinking about it. My friends keep telling me if I hadnt have been such a bitch to him, things would be different....and I know that. I cant change what happened, but I just have to find him to know if there could be something there.

 

[iheartcolor]

If you do see him again, be sure to tell him what you WANT to tell him! I think regret of NOT doing something is way more painful than that of having done something (generally speaking).

I dated a guy in high school , and he moved away. I told my BFF if that guy ever shows up again, I would be so happy. And guess what? One day, as I was just hanging around my parents house - he did just that - showed up! He was back for a visit with his family - and wanted to see me. I was so happy I just threw open the front door and hugged him!

You *never* know what other people are thinking!

Best of luck!

-Lauren

 

[CaseyKezerian]

I'm sure you'll see him at that bar again sometime. When you do you need to talk to him. Even if he's not interested you won't have to keep thinking what would have happened if you had just talked to him.

IMO if you just showed up at his house, even if he did like you, he would probably be freaked out.

 

[prettybaby]

my biggest regrets in life? thjings like that guy i was so hot over, and we would stare at each others lips, bat eyelashes and blush, but we never once kissed. everytime i hear that song "kiss me", i remeber getting on the 805n from the 8w in his beat up old jeep and him turning that song up, but neither of us made the move, i guess we were both too shy. i still think of him every now and again, and if i ever saw him and he was single, i would def. kiss him.

moral of the story? better to not have those kinds of regrets. besides it seems to me that if you keep running into each other, then there is some kind of chemistry karma. if you dont see him this week, just remember its the holidays and he could be home.

hth. good luck. u have my number. call or text if you need me!!

 

[leenybeeny]

Hmmm, well that does put a kink in the plan! Do you know anyone mutually? When you were talking a lot, did he mention any other places that he goes to a lot? Obviously you don't want to get stalkerish and start going everywhere you think he might be.. but I think if you have run into him before, you will run into him again. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. You will bump into him again I am sure.

 

[LittleDevil]

I completely agree with you guys, I would rather find out he's not interested then keep wondering if there's something more. I absolutely HATE not knowing. It's eating me up inside. I just keep praying that I run into him soon, or find him, somehow.

Send some lucky vibes my way ladies, I need it

 

[LittleDevil]

ok, a little bit of an update.....I called a military number my sisters boyfriend (he's in the military too) gave me and asked for him. Being military they instantly asked for his last name, which I dont know, so i gave them as many details as i could about him.....they said they would let him know i wanted to talk to him and he would call me back. So I called again the next day and they said they asked 1 of the 2 Matt's if he knew me and he didnt so they were pretty sure it was the other one, but he's on leave till Jan 9th.....This is such great news, i just wish i knew for sure it was the right one. I am glad I found this out though, I was planning on going to the bar this Friday & Saturday AGAIN!!!!......hopefully, I will call back on the 10th and i'll get to talk to him. I'm going to keep praying till it happens. This means a lot to me.

Send me some more luck ladies!!!!!

 

[sweetbabyblue]

good luck!

 

[Brittni]

Good luck. Remember, what's meant to happen will always find it's way.

 

[wifey806]

Quote:

Originally Posted by COBI I don't know, I think it's possible that he didn't ask for her number because he was feeding off her vibe.

I agree 1000%

Men are crazy defensive. If he felt rejected all morning, he's not going to put himself out any further for rejection. Don't feel bad! Actually, it may work to your advantage because guys want what they can;t have, I bet he;s thinking about you just as much. Just keep popping into his "favorite bar"

And good luck girlie!