im feeling so low

MichaelaLou

Well-known member
I'm feelings pretty down right now and have been having thoughts of harming myself( I used to self harm daily for about 6 years) but as of now I'm a trainee psychiatric nurse and I feel as I'm in a position supporting people with similar issues, I shouldnt feel this way. I think it's mainly due to a failed essay at uni, if I fail again imoff the course. I failed by 2 percent, and despite numerous requests for supervision on my resubmission I got none. Aswell I went to a friends party last weekend and drank a bottle of red wine and a small alchopop. Somehow this got me to the point of vomiting allover my guy friends bed, hypervenalating, shaking and being sick for two days after. And I remember nothing from the night before. This has never happened to me and I feel so embarrassed and feel my friends are angry even though they say they aren't. Just a rant basicly.:/
 

shadowaddict

Well-known member
I'm so sorry you feel this way Sweetie. I know it can be quite difficult when everything kind of falls on you all at once. Are you taking any anti-depressants? If not maybe you could see a doctor and find out if that might be a good option for you. I have battled depression for many years and some times are worse than others. It gets worse when there's extra stress in my life. It would probably be good for you to try as much as possible not to be alone. That's when your thoughts can get the best of you. Being around others if nothing else can be a distraction which in this case is a good distraction. Even if you're not hanging out with anyone try to go sit somewhere public like a mall or coffee shop and people watch. I know that sounds silly but it can be amusing at times and get your mind off things.

As a mom of a 23 and almost 29 yr old I would advise you stay away from alcohol until this passes. I think it's easier to over do things when you're feeling so down. I'm sure your friends aren't upset with you. This stuff happens to lots of people. Even if they are a bit upset I'm sure it will soon pass. I know when my depression is worse I get super sensitive about people's feelings toward me. Please ignore anyone who say just get over it or something like that. They don't understand the deep sadness and feeling there is no hope. Don't litsen to them or be around anyone like that.

I understand that school is absolutely very important but not as much as your life or any type of harming yourself. My daughter had quite a hard time while away at college in the fall of 2010. She also suffers from depression. Her medicine just pretty much stopped working for her and she hit an all time low. We finally just moved her back home in the middle of the semester. Of course she failed all of her classes but she is so much more important. That was the only time she had thoughts of harming herself, well that I know of anyway. The doctor changed her medicine right away and with some adjustments she was doing well very soon.

As far as your training don't feel bad. You've heard the saying that doctors make the worst patients. There are so many people who have issues or problems themselves that they do quite well at as a career helping others with the same problems.

I hope you will try to find some help or someone you can trust to talk to. I think it's a step forward to get on here and "talk" about it. Even though you probably don't know any of us here it's good to get your feelings out. I have found a lot of support on here for different things. Specktra is full of great supportive people that have some good advise. I love makeup but I've also stayed around here since 2006 because of the people here. I love the support and humor and I think that is good for all of us. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. And please don't close yourself off from others in real life either. I wish you all the best and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

There's actually a thread on here somewhere that someone started where a lot of people have shared their stories of similar things they are or have battled.
 

futurestrength

Well-known member
I have been and am in a really similar situation, and I know that there aren't many things that can be said that will make you feel better, but my advice would be to make a change in your life. For me, when my depression hits a real low, it's really hard to find any motivation but I try to change something up in my lifestyle or just do little things to hopefully change my perspective. It doesn't work every time, and again, it's REALLY difficult to care enough to make these efforts, but sometimes they help. Also, I hate to say it but yeah, medication definitely helps turn the volume down on the pain, so if you haven't talked to your doctor about this yet you definitely should. Also, in terms of school, I know it's possible at some schools to be omitted from a class under certain circumstances so if you really bomb your semester or the class, you may be able to get a reimbursement for the class, and have that course taken off your record. Only at certain schools, but still. I hope it all works out for you.
 

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