Any ladies in here that didn't go to college?

MACATTAK

Well-known member
People will always have something to say, but the only person whose opinion matters is yourself. The opinions of friends should be taken lightly, and you really shouldn't give a damn about what strangers have to say about your life. I didn't start college for many years after I graduated high school, because I had no idea what I wanted to do. Now that I know, I'm fully committed and I wouldn't have been before. School will always be there (if that's the route you want to take), and the best time to go is when you are ready/have the ability to.
 

COBI

Well-known member
Do what's right for you, but know if you want to achieve certain levels of career and/or financial success, college may not always be necessary, but drive, direction and goals will be. It is also important to understand that as we move further into the twenty-first century, there will be many opportunities that may not be extended to those without a piece of paper saying they completed 4 years of college coursework.

But at the end of the day, it comes down to what you expect to achieve in life and how you plan to get there.
 

Cydonian

Well-known member
I went to a community college and got a 2 year paralegal degree. I got so much flak for deciding to do that -- especially when talking to parents of friends or even someone I was dating. There was always this "look" I would get when I said I didn't WANT to go to a 4 year college. I had no interest in wasting 3 years taking more english and math classes than I could ever need. The 2 year degree I got was more focused than the 4 year. I even got some people that were brazen enough to ask me if finances were the reason. Very rude!

I just let it roll off back then and even now... why? Because I'm 23 and run a law firm 100% by myself under a lawyer. I am the "everything" at the office. I also make more money than most of my old high school friends that went to college... what are most of them doing? Working at a music store or substitute teaching a couple of times per week. How is that 4 year, $50,000 degree treating them now? Hmm...

I'm not bashing anyone that chooses to go to college. I am simply saying that it is not a requirement. Further, if it is not what makes you happy, then don't do it! You are the controller of what makes you happy -- not some snob on the street in a BMW. So many people are quick to judge someone else's actions.
 

singer82

Well-known member
I never went to college. I'm 28 yrs old and have been a waitress for 7 years. So yes a big part of me regrets not going, and I often think of how things could be different. But school just doesnt appeal to me. My fianace went to school for computers but never used the degree for anything. He worked at a karate school instead and now owns his own school. So not everyone ends up using the degree. Plus he's still paying off school for something he will never use. I have a friend that has a bachelors degree and works for a cell phone company awnsering phones instead of getting a job that used his degree (not that its not a respectable job) he's struggling financially right now and before he got that job, no one was hiring him. I'm not going against anyone that goes/went to college. It's just the right path for some of us. It's whatever works for you.
 

lunadestella

Well-known member
My whole family thinks I'm insane, stubborn, and/or just plain dumb for not going. They remind me almost everyday. I was talking with my mom yesterday about my sister possibly getting married in the next two or three years. She didn't want that unless my sister finished graduate school or got a nice job somewhere so she can be independent. I told her that all I wanted was for my sister to be happy and if that's getting married then okay. My mom said, "The last time I allowed one of my kids to do what made them happy it didn't work out."

My apologies in advance, my story is a little long but I felt it might encourage someone out there!

When I was 16/17 I decided to write a novel. I fell in love with the story from day one. I explained the plot to my mom and she thought it was wonderful. My brother and sister would often share ideas that they thought would be amazing to see in my book. It was neat to see them enjoy it so much. But after writing the first few chapters, I could see I needed to develop the plot more and that takes time.

As soon as I turned 18, my mom grew impatient. She yelled a lot and criticized me if I wasn't working on my book. She even threatened that I would have to stop writing or leave her home. My sister always let me know that my writing sucked because it wasn't published. If I had an opinion about an author she was reading, she'd get defensive and tell me that I was jealous of them and that my book would never be as good. My dad was approved for VA that year which gave my brother, sister, and me the ability to go to college for free. That's when my dad and his family started really pushing me to go. They didn't understand why I was doing what I was doing, and honestly I know they thought I was being foolish. My brother bragged a lot about how he was going to be the first to leave the house and make something of himself and how I failed at life. When it came time for chores, my siblings always had an excuse to get out of it ... "I have homework" or "I have a test to study for" ... and my mom would pass it on to me because they all thought I had nothing important to do. This took a lot of time away from my book and I would often catch them goofing off, hanging out with friends, or playing video games during their "study time".

I remember stopping my book for half a year to study the ACT. At the time it seemed better to give up on my dream and give in to what everybody else wanted. I felt so hopeless. A month after I took the test I was in a bad car accident. I was convinced I was going to die in it, but there was a moment during the accident where I knew Jesus was protecting me. This weird feeling came over me and I knew finishing my book was something I was meant to do in this world.

I've had a lot of setbacks since then -- had to deal with the injuries from the accident for four years, helped take care of my grandparents before they died, had to rework my first five chapters -- but I've also made a ton of progress. There's only a few more chapters left to edit before my book is finished and I'm so excited for what's to come. Yes, I've had the "you're not in college yet" look since then from other family members, friends, and even from complete strangers. When I tell them I'm writing a novel I think it gives them the giggles ... like they're thinking "good luck with that, I'm sure it's going to work out." But I continue on doing what I'm doing.

Things are turning up. I know my book will be published. It's been an incredible, difficult journey but Jesus has blessed me abundantly with a new life, a fiancé who loves me and understands what I'm doing, people and other family who really do support me, and being able to go to sleep at night knowing I made the right decision for me.

Something I've learned along the way is when you're on the right path 9 times out of 10 it's not going to be the easiest one to take. People will show their true colors -- good or bad, family or friend -- but ultimately, you're the one who makes the choice. You can go with the flow or you can do what you know is right. My mom always said once you graduate and have that piece of paper in your hands no one can take it away, that's not true and that's not what makes a person. Plenty of people are coming out of college now who either don't have jobs or find that they hate doing what they studied for. Heck, in this economy there are people with Ph.D's working at McDonald's just to make ends meet. It doesn't mean they aren't brilliant. It just shows how quickly society and the economy evolves. College is not the be-all, end-all solution to life as everyone would have you believe. Even if your dream is to become an astrophysicist or lawyer, college will still be one stepping stone in a row of many.
 

Aelya

Well-known member
Maybe the mentality is not the same in France that in USA, but I never go in College. I did all years in High School but I didn't have the last exam So here i'm without any exam !
So yes many people said that it's a shame, that i'll never have a good job or something like that. but if they said that it's not to be mean, it's just to "protect me"
For the moment I don't regret. Maybe because, I live like that since 1 years. But I'm not a "student person" that's not my thing. Now I work and i'm glad like that
 

LMD84

Well-known member
yes i think it is different in the uk too. although many people are encouraged to go to university nobody looks down on you if you dont. i went to uni and did a degree in journalism and guess what? i'm not doing anything to do with journalism now and to show for it i still have about 4k of student debt that i pay off each month. my hubby on the other hand never went to uni, dispite everybody telling him he should because he is so intelligent. but he didnt want to. fast forward 4 years and he is now doing a job that required a degree. he got the job over friends who had got the degree, so you can imagine how pissed they were! i guess if you have all the qualities what an employer is looking for other things dont matter as much. and our friends that do have a degree are still out of work and cant even get jobs in retail or anything right now.
 

Mercurial

Well-known member
I didn't go to university, mainly because the career I wanted involved work-based training for the qualification. I don't feel like I missed out on anything as the opportunity will always be there and its nobodies business but yours
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X4biddenxLustX

Well-known member
There is definitely a huge stigma behind the whole concept of not attending college, especially a 4 year one and at least receiving a bachelor's degree. I'm asian so I'm definitely not new to this thing.

I am currently enrolled in a community college with plans to eventually transfer out to a university for my bachelors....but why am I responding to this even though I am a college student? I ABSOLUTELY HATE COLLEGE AND ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH IT.

Growing up I always viewed college as the thing you just automatically do once your done with high school. During high school however I had some disciplinary issues and was sent to an alternative school. I had no goals or desire to go to college. I mean I wanted to go to school for something though. I really had my sights set on beauty school or some type of technical school program. But with how bad the economy is and how much I really want to get away from the city I live in...I found out I really don't have a choice. 2 years after high school graduation I enrolled into the community college here. I don't feel very productive not even when I'm trying to study or do assignments for school. I hate the credit system where you are required to take a lot of classes that really don't pertain to your major or career choice. I just think it's all so stupid. But I have certain goals in my life that I know I cannot accomplish unless I have a degree and hopefully a good career in the future. I also want to feel proud of myself in a way that I endured 4-5+ years of "hell" (as I like to call it) and made it through okay. In a way I'm also doing this to rub it in the people's faces who said that I was not going to do anything with my life (my parents included).

It's still so hard going through all the things you have to with college day in and day out all the time. I'm terribly bored. I don't feel that my mind is being stimulated in a positive and productive manner. I feel like it's such a waste of time. I'm not even going to attend any of my graduations! That's how much I truly can't stand this. But I endure because I made this a goal and I want to see it through.
 

lunadestella

Well-known member
X4biddenxLustX -- girl, you're amazing! You stick in there and you'll get where you need to go. And I just wanted to say, you are worth something regardless of whether or not you have a piece of paper to show the world and regardless of what others might think or make you feel. You're determined, intelligent, and I can tell you have a lot of insight. It's those traits that make successful people successful.

But that's just my two cents
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X4biddenxLustX

Well-known member
Thanks hun!

It's just that unfortunately this semester has been an extremely rocky one for me. I'll admit that I haven't been putting much effort into my classes like I should be doing. A lot of it has to do with some personal problems that I am facing with parents (who I currently also live with, moving out isn't an option right now =[ ), a guy I was involved with for several years and I was also in a car accident a month ago. I'm just extremely stressed out.

I'm so afraid to see what my grades are this semester. In order to keep financial aid for next year I can't get anything lower than a C in any of my classes. I was also not allowed to withdraw from any of them either early on the semester, which would of made things so much manageable for me to start off with. So I've got my fingers crossed that I don't have anything below a C in any classes and that financial aid takes it into their consideration the 4.0 gpa I had last semester.


X4biddenxLustX -- girl, you're amazing! You stick in there and you'll get where you need to go. And I just wanted to say, you are worth something regardless of whether or not you have a piece of paper to show the world and regardless of what others might think or make you feel. You're determined, intelligent, and I can tell you have a lot of insight. It's those traits that make successful people successful.

But that's just my two cents
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lunadestella

Well-known member
It really does sound like you're having it tough! Are you getting any help for the car accident? Sometimes you can feel the injures right there and then other times you can walk away a-okay and never have a problem. From my own personal experience, my injures snuck up on me 5 months after the accident. They were subtle at first and started with a dull ache in my lower back, plus headaches. Really pay attention to your body if you don't feel anything right now because these things can be tricky. I'll be praying for you about your financial aid and that things mellow out for you all around. I know it's difficult right now! :( *HUGS*
 

X4biddenxLustX

Well-known member
Again thanks girl!

We were waiting for about a minute at a light when all of a sudden the car behind us rear ends into our car pretty hard. Stupid me was leaning my head forward a bit trying to read a text on my phone (I was not driving, my dad was. I was sitting next to him in the passengers side seat) and when the car hit us I went forward and snapped back pretty hard hitting my head up against the head rest. I was able to get out of the car and snap photos of the accident and the damages on both cars and call the police. The ambulance came and I started having trouble standing still and answering simple questions like how to spell my name. But I was still coherent though. The hospital for some reason only were concerned about if there was any damage to my neck, spine, and back but not my head. I had some sypmtoms that a friend of mines who played football said was consistent with a concussion. This lasted for about a week, I'd get dizzy and fall, and even had some hallucinations. But honestly as far as my body goes I still feel sore a lot more than I use to before the accident. Like as if my body isn't like recovering or repairing itself very well.


It really does sound like you're having it tough! Are you getting any help for the car accident? Sometimes you can feel the injures right there and then other times you can walk away a-okay and never have a problem. From my own personal experience, my injures snuck up on me 5 months after the accident. They were subtle at first and started with a dull ache in my lower back, plus headaches. Really pay attention to your body if you don't feel anything right now because these things can be tricky. I'll be praying for you about your financial aid and that things mellow out for you all around. I know it's difficult right now! :( *HUGS*
 

Hersheykisseslv

Well-known member
Well currently I am not enrolled in college due to financial reasons and I feel really down each day about it. All my friends are in school except my BFF for the same reasons as I am. I want to become a dermatologist, which requires a degree and a lot of years of continued learning. I do plan to find a way to get into college next year but I feel ashamed that I am starting a year later than everyone else. My friend is going to school for something that will take her way less years than I; so I will be in school "alone" although that was the case already since we got excepted into different schools. I know many people will say better late than never but I do absolutely nothing, while I am home but think about the situation.I am considering looking for a job but I am afraid I won't find one in this economy. I am also afraid because it'll be my first job. I remember when I was in JHS, I had said that I did not want to go to college and look I'm not :( . I wanted to know if any one had any advice on what I could do besides loathing over the situation.
 

futurestrength

Well-known member
I just graduated a couple of years ago, and I have, but I just wanted to say that I see plenty of women that are much older then me returning and it's awesome! Not that college is a necessary thing in life, but good for them
 

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