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    Member user11's Avatar
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    virgin and confused

    .................
    I wanna be a doll...

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    Member FWBChick's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I was 22, so you're not alone. If it's not right, it's not right. I wouldn't get together with someone you don't love just to get it over with. On the other hand, don't make it so huge in your head that it's gotta be like the movies or something. Believe me, it most often isn't. You'll know when it's the right time (or person) for you. Don't feel pressured by what other people may or may not think of your decision.

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    Senior Member Growing Wings's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I don't think you should be in any rush to lose your virginity. I know girls who have just rushed into it and had sex just for the sake of it, and they regret not waiting. Your first time (at least) should be with someone who have strong feelings for. It'll be far more special. Sex deepens your connection with someone in a way that's hard to explain. And if you wait until it's with the right person, it's more likely to be an enjoyable experience. Being nervous and uncomfortable with someone makes sex harder (and more painful if it's your first time).

    When I first tried to have sex, like you it didn't work. I wasn't relaxed enough for it to happen. The way I see it, it was just my body's way of telling me to wait. It did happen (with the same guy actually), but not until a few months later when I was happy and in love. And even though we ended on a very bad note, I still don't regret losing it to him, because, at the time, I really thought he was the one.

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    Senior Member glam8babe's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    i dont think its weird at all! or bad even
    if anything, i think its lovely! I respect people who don't rush out to have sex just because their friends do
    if i never had a boyfriend (ive had 2 since the age of 15) i think i would be one too

    I have friends who are virgins and some are abit younger, some abit older

    Just dont worry about it
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    Senior Member prettysecrets's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Its not even close to bad.

    Lets trade because I wish I had waited til I was in love at least.

    At this point I feel like thats the only reason you should do it.

    In the end if you wait until its really right I think you'll realize what a great decision it was.

    Best wishes!

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    Senior Member florabundance's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    i think it's better to hold out
    virginity isn't something bad that you have to quickly get rid of.
    as long as you feel comfortable and willing to give yourself to somebody, age has nothing to do with it.

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    Senior Member NicksWifey's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    There is nothing wrong at all with not being sexually active at your age! I wish I would've waited! I never thought I would say that I regretted losing it when I did, I was so hyped up to "do it" (you know) but looking back on it after it happened, I would give ANYTHING to take it back to have lost it to someone that I loved and they loved me in return.

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    Senior Member k.a.t's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    You'll be glad you waited for the right person when that moment comes.

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    Senior Member KikiB's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Definitely wait. Trust me, sex is something that you want to wait for. I always said I was going to wait until marriage, but life does throw curveballs at you, and I'd been hooking up with the guy for a good amount of time so in a way, even though I will regret it in a few years time, losing it to him, I knew that I could not hold out any longer. You only lose it once. Make it count-to be quite honest, if the person doesn't turn you on and make you go weak when you see him, then they aren't worthy of you. It's no fun when it's just physical. A lot of it is in your head and heart as well, so any random dude will just not do.
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    Senior Member Tinkee-Belle's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Donnnnnnt do it! In high school I was the only virgin outta my friends and they used to harsh make fun of me all the time. I felt pressured and I lost it to a guy that I didnt love and cheated on me with my best friends at the time. I felt soooo shitty about myself and didnt do anything with any other guy until 2 years later when I was 19. Then I slept with a guy I really cared about and we were together for 2 1/2 years and are thinking about getting back together. I wish I woulda lost it to him! Yeah and all those friends who made fun of me in high school... they are all at 20 guys where as Im at 2 I find having a smaller number way more desirable and most guys would agree with me! I think being a virgin at 20 is a great feat! its tough in a sex filled world and I think you should be proud of yourself! Not ashamed
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    Senior Member Beauty Mark's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I'm not a complete believer in only having sex with people you love, but I think you need to do what's comfortable for you.

    I think losing your virginity because you're "old" isn't a good reason. You should have sex because you want to, not because of some notion like that

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    Senior Member snowflakelashes's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Don't do it just to do it, do it because you are absolutely crazy about the guy and you can't stand the thought of NOT having sex with him, that just being close to him makes your head spinny. When you're ready you're ready, it's very personal... but my personal feeling is that its not worth rushing into and its definately not worth just doing it to 'do it'.

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    Senior Member nursee81's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by NicksWifey
    There is nothing wrong at all with not being sexually active at your age! I wish I would've waited! I never thought I would say that I regretted losing it when I did, I was so hyped up to "do it" (you know) but looking back on it after it happened, I would give ANYTHING to take it back to have lost it to someone that I loved and they loved me in return.

    i completely agree
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I was 20, so it's not weird or bad or anything like that, it's just you! When you're ready and you're with the right person for you there won't be any question at all, definitely don't rush it along. It's only weird if you make it weird, I promise it's not a big deal at all and it just shows your maturity to wait for when you're comfortable.

    Also I didn't ever think about it like I was "losing" my virginity, I thought about it like I was giving my partner the gift of it, in a show of trust.

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    Senior Member benzito_714's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    a great mind once told me to never 'give it up' because when you're a virgin-boys are on you like 'flies on shit' i will pass that gem of wisdom onto you!
    needless to say i lost my virginity at 16 to guy i was in love with and still consider him a great friend.
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    Re: virgin and confused

    ...............
    I wanna be a doll...

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    Senior Member kimmy's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    don't rush it. when the time is right, you'll know.

    i lost mine to someone i didn't love (though i thought i did) and he didn't love me either. i'm not saying i made a mistake or that i regret it, because i learned from it. i think the timing was right for me, nobody pushed me to do it. it was my choice and i feel like i made the right one, because the timing felt right to me.

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    Senior Member xxManBeaterxx's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I would just let time take its course. Theres absoutely no need to rush, espeically if your heart wants your first time to be with somebody special. In my personal experience i was a few days shy of 17 and it was with my bf of just 3 months at the time and let me tell you, it only lasted like 4 minutes of his body seziuring on top of mine lol... Who cares if all your friends are doing it, you dont need to jump off a cliff if they all do it as well.

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    Senior Member darkishstar's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I strongly advise you to wait till you feel ready for it. I lost mine when I was 18, but I really loved the person I was with even though we're not together anymore but it really was special. So I have no regrets.

    Plus, sad to say, but true: you will remember the person you had it with the first time with. lol. So yeah, make sure that you're ready for it.
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    Senior Member Krasevayadancer's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    There is nothing wrong with waiting till you find the right person. You have to be ready both emotionally and physically. When that happens then you will know you are ready
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    Member chaut_01's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    agree with everyone who has said there's nothing wrong with waiting. if i could turn back time. i would have saved it till i was married even!! so dont rush it'll all be worth it when you find the right person.

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    Member lalunia's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    It is not weird at all! In fact, I think it is a great thing that you are waiting for someone special. I was just a few weeks shy of my 19th bday when I lost it to my current bf (we've been together for almost 2 years and I adore him!)and I'm glad I didnt give in to the pressure earlier, especially in high school. The best thing is that my guy is really happy wi th the fact that I was a virgin lol and he def. respected me more for it.
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    Junior Member xo_Jen's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    you do it when YOU feel ready. Its not a bad thing at all.

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    Senior Member Beauty Mark's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Although you say that all your friends have had sex, there's a good chance that may not be true. I know among my friends some of them are a little sketchy on that. One girl has admitted to me in private that she is a virgin, even though she talks about sex like there's no tomorrow; her behaviors somehow fool most people, even though her info is from Cosmo.

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    Re: virgin and confused

    ...........
    I wanna be a doll...

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    Senior Member sweetbabyblue's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I'm 19(turning 20 soon) and I plan on staying a virgin for awhile I have been with my bf for 2 years but I know that I dont feel ready and I dont want to regret it later and he's really good about it, he doesn't push me at all. I dont think there's anything wrong with being a virgin at 20 and it's not worth it to do it with someone just because you feel like you should.
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    Senior Member Beauty Mark's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Don't phrase it as sleeping with him. A lot of times people use it as a euphemism to mean sex.

    Before I began dating my now fiance, he actually stayed over at my apartment. He slept on my futon, while I slept on my bed. Are you inviting him over because you're afraid to be home alone? Or do you want to cuddle with someone? If it's the former, I think it's best that you do sleep in separate places. If it's the latter, it might be awkward if he literally sleeps in your bed. Hands can wander in your sleep

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    Senior Member Growing Wings's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by azahara193
    Hellooo!! Thanks everyone, you really make me feel better.
    There's some news...I asked a friend of mine if he would like to come to my house so that I'm not alone at night (not to have sex, he knows I'm virgin and he respects me, at least at the moment) but I don't know if he will come cuz he doesn't have a car and, well, some problems.
    I know that inviting a friend with whom you have had something sounds a little bad, as if I would like to have sex with him, but it's not like that and I wish he doesn't take it like that...do u think I have done something bad or not?? I just wanna sleep with him and be with someone (in fact if he's not coming I will invite my best friend...)do u think that maybe he expects something more than just sleeping??


    This is a hard one to answer when we don't know your friend. I know that I can stay in a bed with most of my mates without them getting the wrong idea. If you're in any doubt, say something to him. It's better to do that than something happen when you're don't want it to (it's easy to get caught up in the moment sometimes and do something you'll later regret). Or maybe just cancel on him, and have your best mate over, just to make sure. If you are gonna stay in the same bed as him, as Beauty Mark has said, hands can wander in your sleep. Whether or not you're both comfortable with that, without it moving to something else is up to you guys. After sharing a tent with one of my mates I discovered he's a sleep groper Luckily we're close enough to just think it's funny, rather than thinking into it at all.
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    Member MACosine's Avatar
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    Re: virgin and confused

    I'm 20 and I've NEVER been in a relationship before. Talk about being old... LOL! I've never fallen for any of the guys who hit on me and I have an odd penchant for falling for guys who will never fall for me. Its worth waiting for... It definitely has to be...
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    Re: virgin and confused

    ..............
    I wanna be a doll...

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