Do your bf/hubbies do this?

[BeccalovesMAC]

Ok. Let me give you some background stuff on me. i have been with my man for 10+ years(not married). We have kids. We have lived with each other for nine years.


Every time a guy flirts, compliments or if a guy hits on me, my man gets mad at me. I don't flirt back or even acknowledge the person but still he gets furious with me. This has been going on for nine years. He has been arrested for beating a guy(sent him to the hospital) cuz he tried to ask me to dance(he grabbed my hand when he asked).

Its gotten better. The last fight he gotten into was last February. He has not stopped blaming me for men trying to get with me. Its really starting to piss me off. I know we all have our hang ups,but I feel this is not my fault that I get hit on. WTF does he want? Does he want me to wear a fucken moomoo when I go out? Sorry if I sound like a conceited person with complaining about my problem.

 

[gildedangel]

My bf gets angry when a guy hits on me, but he has never sent anyone to the hospital! I am not sure why he is blaming you, have you talked to him about why he thinks its your fault? On the bright side, at least you know that your man knows he's got a good thing in you and isn't going to give you up!

 

[blackeneddove]

YES!! My boyfriend has always done this, and when someone hits on me, I can understand why he'd get a bit jealous.. but it's gotten to the point where sometimes he'll get pissy if I hug a male friend who I haven't seen in a while, who is a mutual friend of ours and I was friends with before we started dating. And he never gets mad at them, always me! It's so frusturating!
I've talked to my guy about it and he won't just straight up say it (men always trying to act like they have no feelings..) but it's because his last girlfriend cheated on him. 5 times. And he dated her about 2 years.. part of me doesn't feel bad because he stayed with her knowing she'd cheated on him numerous times, but I know it's painful, having been cheated on myself.
So because of the bitch before me, he thinks I'm automatically gonna cheat on him if another guy seems remotely interested in me.. which is not going to happen, not interested. The thing that's really unfair is that I never get pissed when he talks to any ladies or anything.. pfft
Also, it could be because he wants everyone to know you're his? My guys gotten in fights over me before that should have never happened and I'm thinking it could have something to do with he wants EVERYONE to KNOW I'm taken.. macho status, bleh

So just try to talk to him and try to find out the reason why.. previous unfaithful girlfriends? Trying to be tough? Both?

 

[Simply Elegant]

No he's proud because he knows other guys want me and I'm with him. He's pretty confident and knows how much I love him so it doesn't bother him at all.

 

[panther27]

My man doesn't do that,he just gives the guy some nasty looks,sometimes he tells em to fuck off.

 

[slowdownbaby]

My boyfriend gets mad at me too! IT'S SO STUPID LOL I don't even look at the guy sometimes, it's crazy! He never hurt anybody though lolol But he's threatened which is pretty crazy too, my college colleagues are always saying that they are afraid of him lolol well... I don't even care right now

 

[Junkie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Elegant No he's proud because he knows other guys want me and I'm with him. He's pretty confident and knows how much I love him so it doesn't bother him at all.

Same!

He either laughs at my stories of guys hitting on me and/or says HOT. He's pretty secure in himself and doesn't get jealous easily at all. We've been together for almost 4 years - living together for almost a year and a half.

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

I really tried talking to him about it but its like he doesn't get it. If a girl tries to talk to him, I really don't give a crap. Im not really jealous. I let him go strip clubs and he has gotten lap dances in front of me. I don't really care. With his work, he's around really hot models all the time and I don't care. I really don't feel threaten by other females cuz we have been together for so long. Its not like Im a freaken super model. I don't even think that I am all that great looking.

I really feel like its a control issue. Like he wants to control everything. I don't think he is scared I might actually give in to these guys advances.

Lol The other day this guy hit on me and I thought what he said is funny(but sad)

Guy: Hey girl u are hot
Me: Yea, I am married*shows ring*
Guy: Well, I am married too So that cancels out the marriages
Me: hmmmmmm...no!




Thanks for all your advice. Seriously, this site has been a life saver for me.

 

[LoveMakeup4Real]

...............

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

^^^^

No, its not a fake wedding ring. He bought me an engagement ring.

 

[kaliraksha]

My bf is a really level headed and trusts me so he doesn't do anything like that. He might be jealous and will tell me later, but he isn't going to act on it or he barely shows it.

But, I've had a past love interest who was practically like that. I think the worst thing is that they don't understand that they change the way you lead your life. For example, I know a lot of my guy friends who stopped talking to me when I was dating the jealous guy... or I couldn't make any new male friends. I usually make male friends easier and I tend to get along with them better... so it was a huge downside for me. It's totally an insecurity thing, he always assumed that I was somehow asking to be flirted with as if I was looking for bigger better options.

I would say, that if is seriously bothers you and might keep you from being with him I would talk to him about anger management books/classes to at least help him express his true emotions.

 

[FiestyFemme]

My ex was like that... he'd get mad at me because someone guy looked at me, talked to me, etc. Half the time I wouldn't even notice, and he'd get in a pissy mood and I was clueless! Turns out he was way too insecure to be with me. I can't help people are going to look. No sense in getting mad at me for something that I have zero control over. Pfft.

 

[sweetbabyblue]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junkie Same! He either laughs at my stories of guys hitting on me and/or says HOT. He's pretty secure in himself and doesn't get jealous easily at all.

He just smiles and jokes 'that's cause my gf is cute!'. My bf is much more placid than I am, sometimes I almost get a little frustrated because he doesn't care at all. His friends were apparently checking out my boobs and one tried to guess what size they were (I wasn't there luckily for him) and my bf just thought it was hilarious how far off the guess was

 

[Makeup Emporium]

If either my hubby or I get hit on we just laugh about it later. Neither one of us is the jealous type; I guess we just don't see the point. People are going to look at who they're going to look at! We've been together long enough and trust each other fully.

 

[LMD84]

my hubby doesn't get jealous at all if i tell him that a guy came onto me or whatever. perhaps if he was there when it happened it would be a different story. however that said nick is a really chilled out guy so probs wouldn't do much other than laugh it off anyways!

sometimes it annoys me at his lack of caring that somebody came onto me!

 

[kaliraksha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMD84 sometimes it annoys me at his lack of caring that somebody came onto me!

Yeah, I get a little of that too. Some jealousy when jealousy is called for is nice... sigh, it's like I want it all.

 

[hhunt2]

My husband is the same. Just last weekend, we were walking down the street to see a friends concert, and some guy drove by yelling out "I want that ass.."!
Oh shiet... my husband turned around and yelled, "Someones dying tonight". And these guys were really scared. I guess these dudes didnt realize I was walking with him.

Whenever my husband gets heated b/c of someone (man or women) hitting on me, I laugh! I remind him that I still got it! lol. But he knows I would never cheat on him (and visversa).

I don't want to point fingers or anything, but maybe there's a deeper issue with your bf's behavior.
But him getting physical with other men... yikes! Doesn't he realize that he can lose you and or the kids??

 

[Le-Saboteur]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junkie He either laughs at my stories of guys hitting on me and/or says HOT. He's pretty secure in himself and doesn't get jealous easily at all. We've been together for almost 4 years - living together for almost a year and a half.

My boyfriend is like this, thankfully. We have a lot of guy friends and I'm a huggy person so I'll often give them a 'guy hug' (yes, I am one of the boys... luls), he just seems to think it's funny.

I get hit on or the eyes on a somewhat regular basis, he thinks this is funny too. And is usually like 'ohh yeah, she's mine'. <3

 

[LMD84]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha Yeah, I get a little of that too. Some jealousy when jealousy is called for is nice... sigh, it's like I want it all.

hee hee! yep!

 

[kimmy]

mine doesn't get mad because he knows it doesn't even phase me...i usually don't even noticed it, and when i do i ignore it.

i get pissed off when girls hit on him, but i get pissed off at the girl not him. i don't say anything to them, just usually make some comment about "that disrespectful bitch" to him when we're on our way out ha.