Feeling lost and down

[Pink_minx]

I've just been feeling different recently...it could just be my horomones taking these new birth control pills but I've noticed that I use to have so much confidence. No one has actually said or done anything to me to make me feel this way. Its me that is thinking these things. I would think that if I did or said something, someone might think of me as stupid, so I wouldnt do it. Like I was never afraid of doing what I wanted without thinking twice. Now I just feel so ugly, unintelligent, and down. Like I cant find any happiness right now. I've been on countless interviews and applied to many jobs and no success yet. My family is falling apart and when I want to share something with my parents they seem uninterested and when I ask for advice their response is "I dont know...". I have a boyfriend of 2 years who sometimes dont take my opinions seriously. I mean he is a good person but he can piss me off at times lol. He doesnt listen to me or want to understand what Im trying to say, he either gets offensive or think Im wrong. I dont have a lot of friends...only one that I hang out with a lot. I listen and give her advice but when it comes to me she cant seem to help me out she just goes "wait...im confused what happened?" or "aw that sucks" lol and then goes on about her problems. I just dont feel like Im being heard and Im not myself.

I use to be a happy person with a whole lot of confidence in doing things and in the way I look. I compare myself to other people my age (im 22 btw) who are successful and they know what they want to do. Me...I know that I want to finish college but what else is there? I dont know what I want to do in life. Im just feeling lost and down on myself lately. I do want my old self back and my bf notices how much I've changed. He said that when he first met me I used to laugh at his jokes about me and I use to joke and poke fun a lot, dress sexy, and just do my own thing. Now Im the total opposite. I cry when he jokes about me and take it wayyy seriously, I dont dress like I used to, and I try to do my own thing but never feel satisfied. I do try to get into a daily routine of activities to do but after awhile I just feel like something is missing. I feel like such a loser.

Hopefully im making sense lol. But have any of you ever felt like you lost your self esteem? or dont know what to do in life? How did you deal with it or what did you do about it?

 

[Babylard]

I don't really have any "good" advice for you, but I am going through something similar. I cry a lot when my bf jokes around too nowadays as I am feeling more sensitive to everything than ever. I haven't been feeling healthy or close enough and that has really dragged me down in all ways.

All I can say is you can't rely on anyone sometimes and just have to do things for yourself. What do you enjoy? Play with your makeup. Go to the gym. Go eat at places you love. Try to do things that will boost your mood. Every time you start feeling down, watch a movie you enjoy and look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. Ask your bf if he thinks your beautiful. In the end, his opinion is all that really matters. (BTW he should be saying yes or you get to punch him in the balls)

When I started taking birth control pills I had some crazy mood swings too. It became such a problem that I had to switch from Aviane to Yasmine. Even now occassionally I get depressed for no real reason. So maybe give it some time and if it isnt working for you you could switch to another kind.

hope you feel better! hugs

 

[Ziya]

Solid advice ^
Feeling similar darling..I know thats not helpful, but know that you're not alone. Hmm..I'm on BC as well, the NuvaRing actually. I love it to death but I've noticed my overall mood/sense of well being has gone down since I first started using it. I had to get off Yaz after 2-3 months because I was MISERABLE. Insanely depressed for no reason.
I'm so sorry you're feeling lonely hunny, you did good to reach out to your specktra sisters! I think it would be a good idea to find someone that WILL listen to you and give you good advice (trust me, I am sick of my one BFF that I listen and advise al the time brush me and my problems off) instead I talk to my campus counsellor. She's a trained professional, she listens, and offers realistic advice when I aske her too. Sometimes its nice to just speak aloud about all the stuff going on in your head and not have anybody judge or say anything. Other times I NEED input or rationalizations, which shes great at giving.
I'm not saying this was cure all and I'm PERFECTLY HAPPY now lol but it does help on those lonely days where you feel like noone cares or listens.
One thing really jumped out at me in your post sweetheart, the feelings you're describing sounds like depression. I'm a psych/soci double major in my final year, trust me when I say this. Please don't be upset at me, I'm just worried that you if you don't talk to a professional through this, you will waste MORE of your beautiful life feeling this way.
You deserve to be happy and the only one in charge of YOUR happiness is you. I wish you the best of luck and positive vibes!!

Also, if you have specific issues you want to rant or get advice about (with your parents etc.) you can def post here. The ladies are so nice and helpful, I'm sure that'll be more instant gratification and anonymousness than a counsellor at times.
HTH!!

big hugs (long distance! hehe)