Getting a RESTRAINING ORDER on roommate

Brittni

Well-known member
So I have a rather long update... Grab
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and sit back. LOL. If any of you read all of it, I honestly love you -- but I love you all anyways, but still!
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Thank you for the continous compassion and support. It brings me to tears! Of course it’s exhausting to go through it, but then to keep re-hashing it. I’m starting to feel the tolls on my body - physically and mentally. Almost every morning I wake up with a horrible stomach ache regardless if I eat or not and feeling sleep deprived. Also, last night I had a nightmare involved poco and chickabitch.

So nothing much has happened lately because I haven’t been at the house. However, poco and I have spoke on the phone a few times. Her asking me to come over or when I’m coming home. I thought she was being nice. I thought there was no ulterior motive. But, of course, there was...

I figured this out when I finally went back to the house last night (school started yesterday!) and saw chickabitch’s jacket on the kitchen table. I distinctly remember NOTHING was on that kitchen table the night after chickabitch had left. It was SO apparent that chickabitch has been back in the house (which mom and I figured anyways, but.) Oh yeah - and when I had gotten home and went through the backdoor, they had put my dirty dishes in a bag and threw my silverware on the ground. Really, really mature. So, I confronted poco about this when she got home shortly after me. She said that she gave me plenty of warnings about my dishes. Hello, what the FUCK don’t you understand about the fact that if I *cannot go to the house because I’m in danger/scared* then I can’t come there to do a few dishes? “Well it wasn’t all my idea,” poco said. Exactly. Because chickabitch manipulated her into doing it. “Well, she told me to clean the ones I had gotten dirty.” And as my friend you couldn’t have done the rest if they REALLY bothered you that much? Yet you can use my dishes, pots and pans, couch, etc? Mmkay, whatever...

Then I brought up the fact I knew chickabitch was in the house, but poco denied it. Yet, she had absolutely NO explanation as to why chickabitch’s jacket (which would never fit poco) was sitting on the kitchen table. That’s how it solidified the fact that she was in the house because poco just said “I don’t know how it got there. I don’t pay attention to little details like that!” Total aversion tactics.

Not going to lie...I *flipped* on poco. The stress, aggravation, etc. has gotten to me. I cussed her out and told her how much of a wh()re she is and a shitty friend and that she is beyond dumb and borderline retarded LOL... but only because if you know her you know it’s true. I admit it was harsh, but nothing works with her. She will NEVER understand where I’m coming from and thinks its all me. Well, bad move on my part to do that because then she insisted that I’m crazy and that it is all my fault. So then I got to thinking again...am I crazy? Is this really all my fault? Yes, I just yelled at my “best friend” but I never ONCE did that to chickabitch.

Then poco gets a call. Who is it? Chickabitch. I can hear the whole convo because chickabitch talks loud or poco’s phone is loud. The first thing chickabitch asks is, “Is brittni there?”... Dun dun dun. More solidifying fact that she TOTALLY has been at the house. Then poco runs off to hang out with her new best bud chickabitch. That’s fine... I have to get ready for night class, anyways.

So I get ready, walk my butt to class trying to figure out how I’m going to focus, and end up fine. It was cool to walk around campus and experience my first day of an actual university. At 8:15 p.m. class got out so I headed home. I saw a BUNCH of guys standing outside in a yard really close to mine. I got a lot of anxiety because I wasn’t sure if it was at chickabitch’s cousins house and they were gonna like harass me as I walked by, or what. It ended up being my neighbor’s house (notorious for parties) and I wasn’t worried. I neared my steps and saw 2 girls sitting on them.

... AND IT WAS poco and chickabitch!!!!!!!!!!!

I gave them a look like WTF? And poco quickly said, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? WHERE WERE YOU???” Like TOTALLY caught off guard that I’d be at my own house? LOL. I had class you flippin’ idiot. She thought I had left for the night, ahaha! “Oh, don’t worry, she’s called the cops, she just needs to get some of her stuff.”

Fine... I walk in the house and poco tries talking to me, telling me how disrespectful I was being. Hmm, now you know how it feels to be disrespected, huh? “But that’s different, she did it to you, not me!”...and you couldn’t stick up for me? Whatever... I just say yeah okay and leave it at that. Then she runs off to sit outside with chickabitch.

Well, I call the cops, too, just because I highly doubt they did.... Then they still are coming/going from the porch, going next door to the party, etc. I call the cops AGAIN about 9:17. And finally at 10:17 when they still haven’t came and there are 8 calls ahead of me (seriously, our P.D. SUCKS! “Well, dial 911 if she hurts you”...it takes actually getting hurt, not preventing it apparently, w/e!) I decide to leave because I don’t see them sitting on the porch anymore and I just want to go HOME.

So 3 houses down from us is a coffee shop right on the corner. Well, I turned that corner to head home and low n’ behold, poco and chickabitch are standing outside at the hookah bar talking to some guys. Don’t know if they saw me or not, don’t care. I knew they’d just go back to the house anyways...

Cops never even called me so who knows what the hell happened last night, but I had so much anxiety I couldn’t stay there. It’s to the point of my car started smelling like something was burning last night (Rationally I think it was my car phone charger in the lighter socket) and I freak out that somebody has done something to my car. I shouldn’t have to live in this kind of fear, losing sleep, feeling physically ill, etc.

It just pisses me off to no end how she can act like she can just walk around. The TRO states she can’t be within 300 ft. of me... even if she WAS waiting for an officer and “Called 3 times,” she still can’t wait within that 300 ft. That’s what the police escort is for. COMPLETE BULLSHIT

And to top it off, this morning I accidently deleted every picture on my camera... so there goes the picture I took of her last night sitting on my porch, and the labels and property of mine she destroyed, and her jacket, etc. They didn’t have time stamps on them, though, and I was trying to set my camera up to time stamp. I hit “format” and OOPS!

She’s violated this TRO like at LEAST 5 times now.... Thank god I am meeting with the lawyer tonight after work to see what he says....

Oh yeah, and I had posted an ad on craigslist to look for a new 3rd roomie because OBVIOUSLY either myself or chicka is moving. It’s inevitable. Well, I texted poco that morning to let her know that I had somebody coming by to look at the house. She texted back “UM NO.” and so I called her and asked why. She said it was too soon, that who knows what is happening, and that I don’t get to pick the roomie because I did last time and looked what happened. Actually, it was a joint decision AND she’s your new best bud so how’d I do so bad? Mhm, blah blah, just [email protected] stuff as usual. If I’m subletting MY room, I think I can choose as I’ll be responsible for them, idiot.

Well so... the house was completely filthy. Her bra was laying in the couch, etc. when I got home. Not that it matters, but it was just gross to see how they had been living. And I say they b/c I know chickabitch has been there. They promised our landlord when we moved in they would keep it in top shape, too. Liars. But back to the point... Well the guy I had come look @ the place came over at 9. After he left, when chicka and poco were still on the porch, poco had to make it a point to come in and say “Oh, by the way, chickabitch says not to show anybody HER room. And she’s talked to Paul (landlord). And you can’t sublet to a guy, anyways, because Paul doesn’t rent to guys.”

Like...that’s 3rd party violation yet AGAIN, wouldn’t you say? Obviously harassing me and trying to get under my skin.

So she knew I was at the house, came anyways which could be considered STALKING, and used 3rd party contacts once again. Ri-fucking-diciulous.

I’m really praying for KARMA. And LOTS of it. I was sooo tempted to fuck her shit up...box cut her mattress or poor vinegar on all her stuff so it smelled bad since theoretically she wouldn’t know until after the 8th when the hearing is since SHE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE HOUSE, but that’s not me and I’m the victim here...we’ll keep it that way for the sake of getting the final tro.

My mom dropped me off at work today as she needed to use my car, and she’s headed over to my house with the keys... Hopefully she will bust chickabitch sleeping there or something and be able to call the cops.
 

chaut_01

Well-known member
damn...!!! i hate it when something has to "happen" before the cops do anything about it! WTF! seriously they need to get that fruitty chick out! i cant believe its taking so long!
 

MACLovin

Well-known member
God, they are a bunch of MORONS!! I am hoping for karma to bite them all in the ass really hard, too. I'm glad you finally went off on your former 'friend', she needed someone to tell her off. Don't hesitate to stand up for yourself, what are they going to do?

Ugh.. so sorry you have to go through this garbage. Throwing your dishes in a bag and your silverware on the floor? What are they, 3 years old??? You should start treating their belongings like shit too and see how they like it. They're still using your couch/furniture? Oh man, I'd flip out on them so bad.

I hope your mom busts them doing something, that way you have more evidence against them!
 

Brittni

Well-known member
Yeah. It felt good to go off on her. I told her that, too, MACLovin. I said, I'm sorry but I HAVE to stick up for myself. I'm sorry I have a backbone, but if I don't stick up for myself no one will... She didn't have much to say about that. LOL.

Mom didn't bust anyone there today, but she took pictures of my dishes and also the garbage can ONLY *full* of beer and cardboard. Then mom brought them home this morning and washed them - she's so sweet and my true angel.

Yep... still using my stuff, and who knows what I will realize is missing... Most things, including almost all of my decor, is locked up in my bedroom. But some pots and pans of mine are still out/being used as well as my furniture, etc.

Oh & when I went into the bathroom last night to put my make-up on before school, it was so cramped and filthy. Poco's stereo was on the back of the toilet (OMG
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GERMS!!!) and her make-up and stuff was alllllllll over the ENTIRE sink. I bagged it all up and set it outside her door, because I needed space to put my stuff (which I put away right after using, that's what a NORMAL person does or at least I'd hope so.)

Poco was just so pissed about me texting that I had people coming to look at the house because she got home and was like "I didn't even have time to clean! I didn't know you were coming home"... haha, exactly, cuz you're nasty and can't keep your shit together I should have to wait til I'm allowed? Don't think so. "Well I've been sick the past 4 days!"... Well, you never mentioned that to me...all you've mentioned on the phone is about your new boyfriend (who you knew for 3 days) and how he's slept on my couch and how don't worry I didn't have s-x on your couch and if we were gonna we would've done stuff on the floor, but yeah we did do stuff in my room...etc. (See, she really is a wh()re LOL it's gross, but her perogative!)

I just love the nerve of chickabitch saying I'm not allowed to show people HER room. lmao. I would LOVE to just destroy her stuff, too. Maybe "Accidently" throw away her clogs sitting in the living room... or "Accidenly" knock her glasses off the microwave and they break... BUT I refuse to fight fire with fire and want nothing against me. It's not worth it right now.

Definitely decided if/when I live somewhere else, I'm living with ALL boys. That way there will be NO drama and it will calm my ass up too, because I understand I can be a little uptight but... it's really only when provoked....

Oh yeah and when I was screaming at poco, she just kept saying I'm crazy and a bitch and it's all my fault and that I was provoking her like I did to chickabitch. I never ever yelled at chickabitch OR provoked her. I tried resolving things. Poco just is influenced so easily it's sad...

It just makes me so sad. I truly get such bad anxiety... that's why I had to go home last night. Just knowing they were sitting out there on my porch and I couldn't do anything about it as they came and went. And just knowing that if maybe I wanted to go next door to visit the people I knew that I'd have to go past chickabitch.
 

rbella

Well-known member
God, Brittni. I am so sorry this is happening. I don't know how you keep your sanity. I really hope this gets resolved soon and please keep checking in. I don't like that she is violating the TRO. Makes me nervous. Please let us know that you are ok, daily, if possible.
{{{Hugs}}}
 

User49

Well-known member
If I were in your situation I would move out and find nicer room mates. It's just not fair that you go home which is supposed to be a place where you feel relaxed and de stress and fear an inevitable fight lurking around the corner. I know it's not fair to have someone 'push' you out with horrible behaviour, but I don't think she's worth the time. The label thing for example, that's so immature. When I first moved out I moved in with my boyfriend and a friend from work. We had to set some rules like normal people, like you wanted to do too, so that we are all kept happy. Silly things like seperating cupboards and times that we can use the bathroom. And out of courtesy for each other if freinds were coming over we would say 'is that okay'. But in some situations people have no manners. You're clearly a mature person and you deserve to have a nice home to come to. I don't know how long your contract is for but maybe if you ask to go for a coffee with the landlord and explain the situation. Explain how they leave the oven on, cause a noise and a riot. I'm sure the landlord doesn't want people like her making such a racket and messing up there house. I really hope things are going to work out for you. Either way. It's a shame you had to experience this sort of behaviour. It's so nice to move out (usually) with friends and find your own way. I used to love coming home as all three of us would have pizza and chat about our days. Of course there were some issues... i am a bit selfish and didn't like sharing my stuff and sometimes my friend would 'borrow things' with out asking. And when I started using her food she got a bit pissed off. And man oh man don't get me started on the dishes! lol. But surely things will work out for you. Good luck!!
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crystalclear

Well-known member
The photos you deleted should be reteivable from your sim card, if the company you bought your phone from have a store in your town, they might be able to retrieve them for you thus ensuring that you have your evidence.
The lack of action of the police is quite shocking, do they not realise that persistant stalkers are not usually the most mentally stable people on the planet and they best way to prevent the serious crimes is to stop the nutters before they escalate and someone gets hurt? If they dont react when called and something does happen they are often held to be at least partly responsible
Hopefully your lawyer is on the ball and they're able to put a stop to this and you are able to get on with your life without this nonsense.
 

Brittni

Well-known member
^ The pics were on my camera, a Samsung... So they're just deleted from the memory card therefore nothing to retrieve I don't think??
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ITA about the police. It's shocking, but probably as it's a big city... which I'm not used to being a small-town girl.

Thank you glitter & rbella.
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Beauty Mark

Well-known member
Geez, that's terrible. Good luck with the lawyer.

Whatever you do, DO NOT MESS WITH HER STUFF. I know how tempting it is (I've fantasized about revenge before), but she'll just have ammunition back at you. You need to keep your record as pristine as possible towards her.

May I ask what city you're in?
 

Brittni

Well-known member
I'll PM you.
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But I agree -- I want to look best as possible, and the frustrating thing is that I think I have done everything in my power to make sure I'm squeaky clean and yet poco and chicka try to blame it all on me and manipulate/flip it like I'm the nutso...
 

Brittni

Well-known member
SO I'm feeling really shitty after meeting with the lawyer.

Apparently he said sad to say but it's all going to depend on which commissioner and their mood of the day if the restraining order becomes permanent.

It was filed as a Domestic Abuse case (I think b/c I live with her?) instead of a Harassment Injunction so it's going to cause problems. Also, the comissioner apparently won't have time or want to listen to the voicemail... look at the call logs ... etc... which I think is complete bullshit. How else are you supposed to PROVE that this person is harassing you? It's so frustrating and makes absolutely no sense. And the written statement my co-worker signed about me being distraught at work and saying I was afraid to go home is no good unless she appears.

This is ridiculous.

So, I called poco last night (fully aware that she was going to call chicka and tell her this) and said "Okay, I just want you to be aware I'm going to talk to the landlord and see if I can put an offer out there. I think that I would be able to move out of the house by Sept. 12th under two conditions. The first is that the landlord give me back my security deposit, $533, and you girls come up with the other $600 I've paid in rent since it's not fair as I haven't spent a single night at the house. The second is that since I'm having my friend come in from out of town this week that you (poco) let me have the house to myself." You know how shitty of a friend she truly is (as if we all didn't already know lol...) shes like "Okay, I think we can work something out." Like she doesn't even care and would rather ME move out. So that's fine. I have NO problem doing that if I can get my money back because then I can get another place and find cool guy roomies or have some of my friends move in as a few are looking.

So I e-mailed our landlord and we'll see what he says. I tried to play to his ego cause landlords love that sh!t and asked him if there's any way he could help me. We'll see what he says.
 

M.A.C. head.

Well-known member
Get a taser. Wait for an opportunity when chickabitch is at the house but poco isn't. Even if she doesn't physically attack you, tase the shit out of her anyway and say that it was because she attacked you. Just make sure you think about logistics first, so the situation is believable. Like, don't tase her when her back is turned on you. And call the police right away "Oh my god! My roomate attacked me! I was trying to defend myself and...PLEASE HELP!" Stuff like that.

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I'm evil, I know.
 

MACLovin

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by M.A.C. head.
Get a taser. Wait for an opportunity when chickabitch is at the house but poco isn't. Even if she doesn't physically attack you, tase the shit out of her anyway and say that it was because she attacked you. Just make sure you think about logistics first, so the situation is believable. Like, don't tase her when her back is turned on you. And call the police right away "Oh my god! My roomate attacked me! I was trying to defend myself and...PLEASE HELP!" Stuff like that.

greengrin.gif


I'm evil, I know.



hahaha, there you go! that sounds like something I might do..
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Kayteuk

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by M.A.C. head.
Get a taser. Wait for an opportunity when chickabitch is at the house but poco isn't. Even if she doesn't physically attack you, tase the shit out of her anyway and say that it was because she attacked you. Just make sure you think about logistics first, so the situation is believable. Like, don't tase her when her back is turned on you. And call the police right away "Oh my god! My roomate attacked me! I was trying to defend myself and...PLEASE HELP!" Stuff like that.

greengrin.gif


I'm evil, I know.


LOL! Thats so funny! But it would work!
 

Lizzie

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by M.A.C. head.
Get a taser. Wait for an opportunity when chickabitch is at the house but poco isn't. Even if she doesn't physically attack you, tase the shit out of her anyway and say that it was because she attacked you. Just make sure you think about logistics first, so the situation is believable. Like, don't tase her when her back is turned on you. And call the police right away "Oh my god! My roomate attacked me! I was trying to defend myself and...PLEASE HELP!" Stuff like that.

greengrin.gif


I'm evil, I know.


Now I just want to go around tasing people!
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(To the O.P.--I'll even buzz chickabitch for ya!)
 

SkylarV217

Well-known member
I have a tazer ... and they don't work as well as they do in the movies lol .... people can still beat the crap out of em unless you taze em really well lol ...
 

Ms. Z

Well-known member
I am sorry its such bad news; I hope that you get a commissioner that works in your favor.

Male roomies is no guarantee that things will be good either, remember guys bring home one night stands, have friends dropping by at all hours, get drunk/high, messy, loud & rowdy more often than females; maybe your safest bet is to find other college students.
 

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