I have no idea if this fits into any board.

[joygasm]

I am 18 years old.
And I've been struggling with my self esteem for a while now.
I see things no one notices.
And it really gets me down.

People end up thinking I'm immature for feeling this way about myself.
And someone has even told me they think I like feeling this way.
Why would I like feeling depressed about myself?
They give me what they call "Constructive Criticism" and they tell me quite a bit of negative things about myself that needs to be improved.
Especially people that have no idea who I truly am as a person.
I do get aggravated by the misconceptions.

It's gotten to the point where I don't socialize with people because I just lack the confidence.
I wish I had more confidence in myself as a person.
I don't know how I can possibly raise my self esteem and everyone else's outlook on me.

It's given me horrible posture, because I'm always self conscious.
And I mainly keep to myself, because I feel uncomfortable around most people.
I've basically isolated myself socially.

So, because no matter who I go to they tell me to grow up, I want to ask you guys... How can I help build myself up?

 

[joygasm]

lol Wow this place really helps

 

[purrtykitty]

Have you thought about seeking out therapy? Even a couple of sessions might help you gain some perspective about yourself.

Or there are just some little things you could do yourself...like reminding yourself to stand up straight. You'll instantly look taller and more confident (even if you don't feel like it), and half the battle is looking confident.

 

[Simply Elegant]

I think you need to find a new circle of friends. And I know it's easier said than done, but you have to work on loving yourself first and helping yourself because these people can't do it for you or make you happy on their own. Pick out the top 3 things that make you unhappy and the reasons why plus things that will either be solutions or make you feel a bit better. Try something new and keep at it with your hobbies.

 

[3jane]

i'd say.... def try talking to a therapist about your self esteem <i>and anxiety.</i> maybe get a consult with a psychiatrist about the anxiety, if it's really so bad that you've isolated yourself from lots of people and it's seeping into your self-worth like this.

try yoga or exercise for your posture-- you'll feel better because of the exercise and you'll start standing straighter with less effort.

 

[claralikesguts]

i can completely relate... i feel exactly the same way.
i've been to two therapists for about 4 months each, and honestly they didn't help me at all. i never looked forward to going there.
no one can really help you get through this... you really just have to get through it yourself.
i wish there was an easy way out, though

 

[abbyquack]

Volunteer in the community. Do service for someone else. It sounds silly but once you start serving others, you will feel better about yourself. It is a confidence booster for sure. I promise

 

[Sprinkledust]

I'm not a doctor and I really do not know you ...but I can tell you that you are probably not the only person in this world who has ever felt this way. I do not think you are immature to feel this way..You are only human. My best advice is to start some goals (school, career, gym, friends, love) and stay optimistic. Have you ever heard the saying...."Misery loves company" well I think you should make new friends and surround yourself with people who are gonna support you. Do things that make you happy just as long as it is not hurting others!

 

[florabundance]

You're 18, you're stunning (judging from your icon) and you have the world at your feet and your whole life ahead of you. Tell yourself these things more often. There's millions of people out there for YOU to choose to chill with. People who feel the way about you as you do about yourself. If you're feeling shitty about yourself, others will too!
Pick yourself up, mix with siblings, cousins, family friends, gradually branch out - things will pick up before u know it

 

[Khalia25]

There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said...so I'll just say the first thing that came to mind....f that is you in your avatar, you are GORGEOUS! You're already beautiful on the outside....let your inner beauty come out!! Don't be afraid!

 

[joygasm]

Thank you guys.

As an update I do feel better about myself, I find it easier to socialize because I did start to branch out more. And I'm trying to focus on me and my career. It's given me stability to distract myself with something I'm passionate about. It was really bad to the point where I didn't want to enroll in school, but I'm enrolling in cosmetology school next year and I'm so excited.

 

[gildedangel]

That's great! It's fantastic that you found something that you are passionate about and that you feel better about yourself! Good luck in cosmetology school, I'm sure that you will enjoy it!

 

[joygasm]

Thanks

 

[LMD84]

i'm pleased that you are feeling a bit more positive and have enrolled in cosmotology school. i think you'll meet lots of nice people there who may make you feel better abvout yoruself

 

[MizzTropical]

You described me in your first post. I'm 23 now and I'm still trying to figure myself out, I still feel the way you did. If I could give you any advice, it's def go to cosmo school now if thats what u want! I actually wanted to do that also at ur age but I never did it. I wish I had so bad now. I know I still could, but back then it wouldve helped my self esteem so much to have something positive to do everyday, people around me that liked things that I liked, and a future job I'd love ahead of me. And I know I would feel a million times better about myself right now if I didn't let my depression take all those years away from me. Imagine still being told to grow up at 23, it sucks trust me. It's not that we need to grow up so much(because trust me I know plenty of ''grownups'' with great jobs and tons of self esteem who do the dumbest most immature things), we need to just believe in ourselves

. You need positive people around u, negative comments are just going to stick in ur head and make u not want to try, because why try if everyone thinks u suck anyways? I grew up with that atittude because I had people around me telling me things like that, thinking it would motivate me in some way. What I really needed was positive people telling me that I could do it. I don't really have any good answers I guess and I may not make sense, but I know how you feel.