is this a normal sex life???


Active member
Sorry you're feeling like this - sex life problems are always so hard to sort out!!
As far as once a week goes, I don't think that's too bad really, as long as you're both into it when you do do it! It sounds as though he is 'into' it, but maybe he has some issues about messy stuff, like always wanting to wash and not going down on you... perhaps he sees it as dirty.
Is he saying sorry after he comes because he thinks he came too early? Or because he feels he has taken advantage of you or something?
It's hard to talk to him about it because like you say, he just thinks you're having a go.
Maybe you could find a way around the issues? If it is mess he doesn't like maybe suggest having a nice session in the shower!
And don't worry about him not finding you attractive, just from your photo anyone would be a fool to think you weren'e really pretty.
Sorry, this probably isn't particularly helpful!!


Well-known member
"Normal" is different for everyone, but if you are unhappy, then it isn't "normal" for you.

Good luck!


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=/ My boyfriend and I are into the whole cleaning up thing... I'm anal and I hate wet spots on the bedsheets so we always keep tissues around for quick cleanup and then head to the bathroom to "wash up". Maybe he just hates dried up bodily fluids on himself?
As for him apologizing after sex, I think it indicates that he knows he isn't living up to your standards... I feel he's apologizing for finishing so early. I could be wrong.
If you're up for it, I suggest doing something different that you guys have never done before to kinda "inspire" him to be more active in your sex life. Dressing up? Sexy lingerie? A new location? New positions? Or even something simple like taking the initiative and jumping him when he comes through the door.


Awww YOu poor thing! It kind of mess up that he doesn't want to give you oral but he wants if for himself! Im 19 too and i dated guys around the same age! I think he might be embrassed that he can not last long or just issues with his body! Also he is an ass when you approach him to talk about your feelings and he makes you feel like a SLUT!!! If i were you i would either try to work it out and see what is his real problem! If not leave him b.c you deserve better and he is 25 ! If men made girls feel totally worthless and unhappy, we should leave b.c its not going to get any better!

glassy girl

Well-known member
Well i have been with my husband over 10 years now and u know theres good times and bad times its not always like the begining u no life happens kids/work ect. Has he been working hard/ stressed out unexpected life situation all that might play a role in this and u no what just like us sometimes there just not in the mood. Also i think its perfectly normal to want to wash up after words he's just being clean girl. Oh and if hes always saying sorry maybe he doesn't think he's satisfing u and that might put him off as well. Good luck girly.


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It just seems like the two of you have different sexual wants and needs and are sexually incompatible. Talk to him about it and try to work it out. Maybe the two of you can conquer this. For me, sexual incompatibility is a dealbreaker, LOL. Phrhaps he's just inexperienced, too and you can just explore ways to please each other. And find out what he thinks is so hot about these webcam girls. Perhaps there's a fantasy you can explore together, as well.

As far as rushing to clean up; that a very individual thing. It just so happens that I and most of my partners are in a race to the bathroom once the afterglow has dimmed. I wouldn't feel offended by that at all. Just let him know how it makes you feel. also, how about having a small kit at the bedside to take care of that... maybe give him a gentle sponge bath afterwards and see how he likes it. He definitely needs to be giving you oral if you want it and are willing to give it to him. How rude!


Well-known member
I agree with HeavenLeiBlu...sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker for me as well. It's all about preferences hun. He shouldn't make you feel like a 'slut' because you brought up the topic. You both seem at different wavelengths about this topic and should consider talking about it between each other or maybe even a counselor. I say this because one of my best guy friend's is married and very unhappy with his sex life... eventually after a year of taking my advise they went to counsling and things are better, not great but better. This has obviously been on your mind for awhile so that means it is bothering you. Don't let it stay that way. It is not going to be healthy for you.

The sorry.. could be the time thing, not satisfying you enough, just ask him. Clean up is quite normal for certain individuals. All different preferences. OH and I agree about the oral sex... give AND receive. Not fair to take the one way street. Change it up... changing positions also increases the time. See what his deal is.

I hope whatever choice you make is one that benefits you and makes you happy. Best of luck.


Well-known member
Gal , I think we are in a similar boat. I'm my 4 year relationship I am the sexual one. He's just not go the drive the most men do. Things in the bed are good when we're there. I finish up first The big O and all and Then I preform for him... He always last until we've both had a turn sometime 2 or 3 for me =) . But we always head strait to the bathroom to wash up as well. While he may be the one instigating the Washing session it is a good Idea for you to force yourself to urinate. This helps keep your lady parts clean and helps to prevent UTI's . After sex I always feel icky down there and don't mind washing. Just let him know that after sex you need attention. I would think the feeling used part would make me more of a slut than wanting more sex. ... I hope your situation improves =). It is possible to compromise for sexually incompatible people. I mean you can't help who you love !


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Oh My God, Didn't You Have A Topic Similiar To This Before Ugh Made Me Hate Your Man. I Thought You Ended It Already!!

I Hope Stuff Turns Around For You, If He Keeps It Up In The Next 2 Weeks, Do Whatchu Gotta Do.


Well-known member
1x a week in normal for some & not for others. Everyone is different. Some ppl have sex less than you.

As far as him appologizing, I think he finishes too fast & he's sympathetic about it.

As far as calling you a "slut" it verbally abusive & totally uncalled for. He's looking @ porn on the net, but when it comes to performing & verbalizing how you feel, seems he's not confrontaitional or doesn't want to talk about it.

Sweetie, I'm going to be totally honest with you....
If things are bad now with sex & lack of communication it's only going to get worse. Test the waters & see how far he's willing to go with you. Suggest couples therapy, wear sexy lingere & heels for him & see where that goes.

If he's not into it, I would pack my bags & leave. I relize he was your first & you will always love him & have a special place for him in your heart. But sex goes both ways. He needs to recipicate, communicate with you.

3 things in a relationship is a must: Good communication, trust & good sex
Good luck sweetie


Well-known member
It seems like he's not really satisfying you fully in bed, and if you have tried to talk about this and nothing changes, maybe you're not sexually compatible. It's up to you to decide what to do with that.


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Originally Posted by stacylynne

If he's not into it, I would pack my bags & leave. I relize he was your first & you will always love him & have a special place for him in your heart. But sex goes both ways. He needs to recipicate, communicate with you.

3 things in a relationship is a must: Good communication, trust & good sex
Good luck sweetie

I totally agree, I went back and read your last post about your boyfriend & even though it would be difficult b/c you live together, I would get out NOW if you are not happy. Give some serious thought to it because every women deserves to be happy within her own relationship. Us as women don't want to just leave a relationship because we love the man and will put up with a lot more than he would. But if you are unhappy it is best for you to cut your loses. From what I read I think it would be best for you. You are a beautiful girl and You deserve someone that will value you more !


Well-known member
Sex once a week isn't all that bad but the fact that it only lasts 10/15mins I'd be pee'd off aswell. It's like it's just a quick thing with a stranger and not your partner if you know what I mean.

About the shower/wash thing, I think most people go and have a quick shower afterwards I know I do and previous partners have done.

He seems like he isn't taking you seriously when your talking to him about whats bothering you. Maybe just try and talk to him once more.

And don't blame yourself it isn't you *hugs*


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UGH. I´ve been there too... very weird, i was 19 and he was 25 as well.... coincidence.
You guys are not sexual compatible... but what i find very strange in this, is that he has the enough sex drive to watch porn, and all that, but when it comes to you it´s like...not? WTH?
I think, besides sex, what is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT HERE , IS YOU, LAURA.
You don´t feel good, rethink what you need to do, in order to feel happier and better, then you´ll have answers.
And don´t say things like ÏF I WAS PRETTIER¨, YOU ARE a very beautiful girl!


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I couldn't handle once a week sex. I've been married 6 years and still have sex about 3 times a week, more if i had the time! If talking to him hasn't worked i'd seriously consider dating other people. Communication is key and if he isn't responding I'd say he has a problem. It saddens me that you put yourself down because he isn't satisfying your needs, its not your fault! You are perfectly pretty from your icon. He may also have an unrealistic view of a regular woman's body considering he's into porn and in porn the girls workout alot and often have breast implants and a ton of body makeup on. Having sex with a bunch of random people makes you a slut, not having it with the same person and wanting it more than once a week doesn't make you a nymphomaniac (and if you are a nympho more power to ya)! As for the oral sex some people don't like it, so i wouldn't give it to him anymore until he tells you what his hangup about giving you oral is. Next time you have sex with him take it slow, have foreplay, and relax. He is probably apoligizing because he finishes too fast. You may have to stop during sex so he won't come too soon, but use that time to be close to one another. Try some sexy lingerie or little outfits to spice things up. Get a couple of books on sex at the bookstore and try to get him interested. There isn't anything wrong with porn as long as its not secretive or he isn't infatuated with the porn stars more than you. Porn is just an aid to sex, he should find you the main attraction, lol. It can be fun if both partners are comfortable in their skin, but not everytime you sex. If he doesn't respond well I wouldn't waste my time on him. At 19 you are still quite young so don't tie yourself down with someone who leaves you sexually frustrated. If you want marathon sex or just more sex there is someone out there for you who will make you feel wonderful about yourself and all you have to offer and do all the stuff you want. It just takes some looking and loving yourself.


Well-known member
Im sorry i didnt like your bf so much from your last post aswell! I agree completely with pumpkincat210, that first, you shouldnt feel not confident in yourself, cause thats abvious him who has problems. You are very pretty on you userpic, and lol, cmon, like i said in that post, you're an air hostess, isnt it like.. man's fantasy, lol? Also, just like pumpkincat said, you are only 19, so you shouldnt attach yourself to someone not satisfying you! I think he has serios problems from your other post, and there is really something with him. Has your sexual life always been like that? Did you try telling him what exactly you want?

Beauty Mark

Well-known member
IF you're unhappy, you're unhappy. I would try talking to him again, but it doesn't sound like he's too receptive.

IMO, sex only gets good if both people are willing to communicate about what they like and dislike. If he's unable or unwilling to do that, I doubt the situation is going to improve.


Well-known member
thanks for all of ur posts ladies.
i think i was perhaps looking too much into the washing thing! ive lost quite a lot of self confidence through everything thats gone on with my boyfriend.
our sex life hasnt always been like this, just since he was doing all of the stuff on the internet.
this is my first proper relationship and i think thats always the hardest one if things dont work out.

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