love chub

[pretty_melody]

Why is it that when your in a relationship you always wind up gaining a ton of weight? Ive been with my boyfriend and living with him for three years. I've gained like 40 pounds he's also gained weight as well. For some reason I just dont want to be intimate with him anymore. I hate my body and I just have these images of us being married, fat and miserable. I know this sounds so shallow and I love him very much. I just feel like it's taking a huge toll on our relationship. I mean how can I love him if I cant even stand myself. I was just wondering what you ladies do to stay confident in a relationship?

 

[LMD84]

yeah i understand what you mean. i have put on lots more weight than what you have after being with my hubby for 8 years! i am now in the process of losing it but it will be a long process. in the mean time though i still dont feel like i dont want to show my body to him. of course i get paranoid occasionally, but then that is the time to have a dark room and light some candles. candlelight is very flattering. or i wear some nice underwear that cover what i'm trying to hide - sometimes i like a corset because it holds my tummy in but really makes the most of my boobs so the attention is there. and stop thinking about what you hate about your body and start thinking about how you can improve it and also what you do like about it! good luck!

 

[Cydonian]

This is going to sound insane, but you want to know something I've picked up over the years when you're feeling uncomfortable? Try a mutual massage. Once you get more comfortable, you can do it sans all clothing but start off wearing pajamas or whatever you're comfortable in. Each one of you gives the other a decently long massage, maybe 5-10 minutes. That has worked wonders for my husband and I in terms of rediscovering each other and helping to stay comfortable with our own bodies. I can't even go into what it's done for our intimacy!

That is just an example, but try showering together as well. You don't have to do it together at first, if I'm feeling self conscious I will wait until he is out and then I will get in, but just being in the same room sometimes will help you to be more comfortable.

He wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you... and I'm sure he thinks you are beautiful and amazing. Loving yourself takes time, but remember your love in the relationship to help you gain confidence!

As always, good luck.

 

[pretty_melody]

aww thanks for the great advice. I love your blog! it's in my bookmarks I'm constantly checking it and I love your looks and reviews.

 

[Simply Elegant]

It doesn't have to be that way. When people get comfortable and stop trying to impress, things can get let go.

Just my opinion, but if you aren't happy with your body, then you're not going to be the happiest and most loving you can be. I'm not saying losing weight will make problems disappear but it can help a bit.

Love what you have right now and try to work on the intimacy problems while making your body fitter and I think that's the winning combination.

Do romantiv and spontaneous things with each other and over time you can be comfortable with him and yourself. Try going away for a weekend, to a different restaurant, take a walk somewhere new etc

 

[Cydonian]

Wow, thank you! That really cheered me up from my own bad day (I've got some stuff coming up tomorrow and Monday!)

aww thanks for the great advice. I love your blog! it's in my bookmarks I'm constantly checking it and I love your looks and reviews.