| Originally Posted by Camnagem
My experience in the hospital was like something out of a terrible movie. I was kept in my bed with restraints, overly medicated, and constantly monitored...even when going to the bathroom. It was a nightmare. I decided I had to get out, and started BSing and lying my way through the group and individual sessions. It worked, and after 48 days I got to go home. I was even more depressed...but I put on an act for everyone else around me to see and life went on. There was no way in hell I'd ever show signs of depression again to anyone else.
| Originally Posted by revinn
I hate that the girl I was before my depression seems to be gone; I keep waiting for her to come back, but I don't think she exists anymore. Has anyone else felt this way? Any tips for coming out of a shell you've really only had for a few years?
I'm so appreciative of this thread; having mental health issues can be so isolating...you think you're the only one who understands, but there really are so many of us out there.
| Originally Posted by Bjarka
I know what you mean. I'm only just starting to be my "normal" self again (according to the people close to me). But in the end I don't think I'll ever be quite the same again. It does change you, I just hope that as time goes it becomes a more insignificant part of you.
| Originally Posted by Funtabulous
Yeah I totally agree with not wanting to take medication. I was medicated for years and I had that numb feeling too. I remember when I went off lithium it took me a while to actually recognize that I was happy, it was such a foreign feeling to me at that point.
I'm actually feeling that way right now, and I think it's because I recently got back into an old hobby of mine that I found mentally engaging/challenging (web programming/coding). To a certain extent, I think a lot of my problems stem from simply boredom/mental inactivity. I love the feeling of working through a problem, it makes me feel so alive! (such a dork)
I wonder, how many of us have been on or are currently on hormonal birth control? I stopped taking Yasmin in February and I noticed my depression/numbness magically disappeared about a month later, and hasn't returned since. My anxiety has been much better lately, too (but I can still get panic attacks around ovulation and before my period, times of hormonal fluctuation). It even says that depression can be a side effect of the pill in the insert, but for some reason I always attributed it to something else!