AA has fabulous support systems. You got to want to get sober-and there are plenty of people who will want to give you their time and emotional support. AA is full of aloha if you just reach out and be real. And there are meetings everywhere and at so many different hours-and when there is no meeting there is always your sponser.
Is there any alcohol in your house? Any at all, even if it belongs to someone else?
If so, it has to go.
Just do your damndest to stop drinking. Don't go anywhere that you think you might be tempted to have a drink. If it means not going out for a while, not even to dinner? Then so be it. Avoid the temptation, because at first it will be difficult.
I strongly suggest therapy, as well.
The only way my dad kicked his alcoholism was to get ALL the booze out of the house, remove himself from any situation where he'd be tempted to drink, and GO TO THERAPY ONCE A WEEK. Take whatever you would have spent on booze, and spend it on therapy sessions.
I know how bad alcoholism can get. It took my father almost killing himself AND me to make him realize that he needed to stop. I'm glad you're realizing it without things having to go that far.
I can't stress therapy enough. In a way, you are using alcohol as a coping mechanism. A good therapist will be able to help you find a new way to cope, so you won't need that crutch anymore. I honestly don't believe a person can kick a drinking/drugs problem without therapy.
If you need the support of others with problems, I'm sure you can also find some group therapy. But, IMO, it should be a form of therapy, run by real doctors who know how to treat this problem.
There's also outpatient rehab. A friend of mine does that, and she's been sober over a year now! She is also in AA, but says the outpatient rehab is what's really helping her out.
AA ... I wish I could come to you and take you to a meeting myself. My father just passed away on sept 29 ultimately because of Alcohol poisiong. He was only 54 ... he drank over a weekend and kept drinking .... he passed out while eating soup .... fell over ..knocked his head ... and was unconciouss went without oxygen for 11 minutes ..and arrived at the hospital brain dead ...he was only alive on machines for a few days ...and he passed.
I know this is extreme ...but my father started off getting drunk in his twenties partying .... he maintained a relatively normal life through out the years with an occasional yearly week long or so of drinking ...during the holidays or after some random get together ...even though he would only drink excessively randomly through out his life .... it ulitmately lead to his death.
For a few years he didnt drink ..and that was when he was attending AA meetings regularly ..then he suddenly stopped going ..and slowly over time his battle with alcohol continued.
He died suddenly .... and I can't even begin to explain how tragic it is to loose a loved one.
Please think about yourself and your health. get help asap ... by you writing here on this forum tells me you want to get help. so please just talk to someone ...and find an aa chapter in your area and get help.