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Junkie

Well-known member
Re: how to deal a passive aggressive person?

Tell her she's being childish - complaining only while texting? And wtf - not inviting/inviting/then un-inviting you to her birthday? What? Is she 9? She definately sounds passive/aggressive, but even moreso it seems she has a huge problem with confrontation.

If she pulls the texting thing again, don't answer her. Wait til she gets home and let her have it. Tell her straight up you're too mature to be bullied over the phone with complaints and that anything like that should be said to your face. If she has a problem, she should be able to tell you. Adults talk things over - they don't run away and avoid or pretend everything is ok when its not.

If I were you, I'd tell her that rooming with her next year would require some serious compromise and talking first. If she can't handle that - say c-ya and go your own way. Don't feel guilty about it - pity the poor person who has to live with her next. She obviously has some issues with holding grudges and just being an unhappy person in general. You don't need negativity in your life...life is stressful enough on its own.
 

Meisje

Well-known member
Re: how to deal a passive aggressive person?

Oh my goodness, don't room with this person. She'll suck the life clean out of you. If she's this passive-aggressive and difficult as a friend, she'll be a crappy roommate.
 

Meisje

Well-known member
Re: how to deal a passive aggressive person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsic
I just can't keep beating myself up over something I already apologized for and if she's not willing to forgive me, I need to move on and just cut off all ties before things become even worse, right?

If you do decide to perma-IRL-unfriend her, make sure you do it quietly, without an announcement or confrontation. Slip away like a ship into the night. Otherwise, she'll make you miserable(r).
 

Meisje

Well-known member
Re: how to deal a passive aggressive person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsic
do you think I should even tell her I am thinking of not living with her anymore, or just peace out and start looking for a place to live without her

The bold part.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsic
Just me personally, I would feel like that's such a rude thing to do b/c I've had that done to me before and it feels SO crappy.

Normally, yeah. In a situation where the other person isn't bugging the crap out of you and making you feel like you need a complex rule book to refer to for simple interactions --- this girl makes you jump through hoops constantly and turns everything into a production.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsic
Isn't part of being an adult being able to talk about this kinda stuff? Sometimes it's hard to be the one to get things out on the table but someone has to do it, the tension is so thick you can slice through it with a knife. So now I'm rethinking of even confronting her once and for all! Ugh...frustrating.

Don't confront her. She is passive-aggressive and immature. Plus, she hasn't given you that courtesy before getting all reactionary about things you've "done."

I can almost promise you that a passive-aggressive person's first response to any sort of accusation of wrongdoing (even if it's in the name of trying to sort out the friendship) will be an indignant "I'm sorry, BUT" and a barrage of insults and justifications that make you the bad guy. Because, in her eyes, whatever it is, it's your fault. That's how the passive-aggressive operate. They have no sense of responsibility and always feel justified in their behavior --- as if they're vindicating themselves by childishly torturing others. They don't see their behavior as wrong, and don't feel that they should be punished, although their whole MO is punishment.
 

lazytolove

Well-known member
Re: how to deal a passive aggressive person?

Some people are very selfish. They forgive but couldn't forget. You made a good decision, you don't have to stick with that kind of people.
smiles.gif
 

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