To the ladies who had their children young

[Kalico]

Not necessarily teen mommys, but young mommies in general. Especially surprises and single mommys.

I'd like to hear some of your stories about what it was like. What would you have done differently (and not whether or not you would have had him or her... I mean in general), would you have any advice to your younger self, etc? With finances, family, the dad, anything at all.

Please share your stories!!

 

[benzito_714]

i was lucky because our families were supportive (at least in our faces they were). of course we had those that questioned our decision but many of their questions were answered once they saw the support and love from my 'baby's daddy'

(i coldn't resist).
if i could do it all over i would have definitely secured a job before giving birth. i feel there is still a stigma for young working mothers depending on the career.

 

[red]

I'm a young mom, had my children right after college, never had any regrets at having started young. Yes, missed out on many things, but this year Joshua is graduating from High School and off to college, and Jordan will follow him next year. So mom got "her life back" as they say ....

I'll miss my babies, miss helping them with their homework, miss wiping away the tears ....

It was hard, wasn't sure what I was doing, but children only want to be loved, they really don't care if you put the diaper on backwards

 

[MahalMac]

i am 19 and pregnant now.. my bf's family is sooo thrilled.. my family on the other hand..is another story..

despite everything, gods given me a miricle and I am THRILLED =). Although i'll be missing my sumer from being prego.. (no amusment parks, random road trips, water parks, country thunder *music fest*, taste of chicago, blues fest, rib fest, scoop the loop.., ) lmao...there is soo much more i know ill be missing.. I don't mind.. things happen for areason.. before i met my boyfriend, i was a mess... a party junkie..i'd prolly be dead or in jail by now if it wasn't for him..the baby in my belly is a blessing =))

 

[GlossyAbby]

Our first was born my sr. yr in college he was quite a surprise and times were tough but my family was really supportive and we did fine. He is now 5 1/2 and a pure delight along with his 3 yr old sister....

 

[marreyes38]

well im actually not a young mommy myself but my sister had her first child at 19 and if theres one thing i learned from her was to always carry two of EVERYTHING...

 

[Caramel_QT]

I had my first at age 19 (my Lord, I can't believe she'll be 12 in less than a month). It was definitely tough - but not as tough as some would have had it. I was married and had a lot of support (we are still married).

One major thing I would have done differently would be to have gone to college and established my career FIRST. I took a quick secretarial course after I had her, but I HATE admin and those jobs don't go anywhere, IMO. Now, at age 31, I'm faced with basically having to retrain and start up a career all over again, when I feel as though I should already have an established career. Instead, I spent my 20's working low paying admin jobs and having babies. I love my kids (I have a total of 4) but, I will be teaching my girls that education is a MUST it is NON-negotialbe, lol. And they all better become doctors, lol - just kidding, sorta...

 

[HeavenLeiBlu]

I had my daughter at 15, and I'm kinda glad I did then, b/c she probably would have NEVER gotten here otherwise. Of course, I didn't plan to have her then, but I opted to once I found out I was pregnant, and I'm glad I did.

I'd tell my younger self to have taken college more seriously and to have worked harder at it, and not to have run off and away from my ( and her father's) family so soon. Her grandmother is no longer with us, and all of us miss her a lot. As far as her father is concerned, I would tell my younger self that no amount of admonishment is going to make him different or better than what he is, so not to waste my energy bothering. I'd also tell my younger self to not let my anger and rage escalate me into a shrieking fool, because I'd only feel worse for having done so. I;d also tell my younger stuff to stop buying my daughter all the girly crap I liked as a kid, and just stick to sports equipment and video games for my daughter, because all that money is a damn waste, since the girl HATES stuff like that, LOL. It took me about 10 years to catch on. DUH!

 

[PrettyDolledUp]

I had my first son when I was 18 years old...he was born 1 month before my high school graduation! Although I was basically a "teen mommy", I still graduated and walked the stage with my class. =D

I wouldn't have had it any other way! My son is now 5 years old and I just recently gave birth to my second son in August 2007, so he's now 9 months old now. I'm a young mommy...23 years old...with 2 little boys, and I've been with their father since I was 16 years old...and we got married in 2006. I love the way everything is...I love my family! =D

 

[panda0410]

Quote:

Originally Posted by red but children only want to be loved, they really don't care if you put the diaper on backwards

ne'er a truer word spoken!!!

I also had my babies young. In retrospect I might have finished uni first - doing it now with little ones at 32 isnt easy, and if I had the choice to do it again I would almost certainly have waited. Having said that I love all my babies so much, they all have given me great joy and plenty of tears, and we are growing & learning together. I have been with my hubby now for 14 years, since I was 18 and we are both still learning with the babes - he was 22 when we had our first son and he was so nervous about being a dad. We have supported each other and thats the most important thing I think - support and a whole lot of love!!

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I was 18 when i gave birth in october 04.

I was scared, my parents were not supportive at first, it was my 2nd semester in college, and i was dirt poor. My boyfriend at the time had no interest in college, he is almost 2 years older than i am and i forced him to find a career fast, i am glad he is a great man without him to lean on i would probably have to let a family adopt her. He applied for his real estate license and passed, and worked under my cousin who is a broker and sold is first home when my daughter turned 2 months. My parents finally accepted that she is here to stay, and this is my life. So i quit school for a semester and they generously babysat and paid for my college expenses while my boyfriend paid for our living expenses. Its not as easy as i made it sound, there were a lot of nights were i cried myself of worry, where i was living in a room in some ones house for 400 dollars while i could only afford to eat mcdonalds mc chicken everyday and my boyfriend worked 80 hours a week trying to sell homes.

I Had 46 credits in my freshman year because i took summer school at my college since i was a sophomore in highschool and the credits transferred. That means i had 1 year left until i had enough credits to apply to pharmacy school, so i doubled up on credits that last year and got accepted. Into fall of 2008 students c/o 2012 baby!

Well..during that time my boyfriend worked at home and went to the office only to meet clients, so he watched her all day, and i stayed with her all night reading and reading and reading.... i went into depression... and im still trying to cope with it..

My boyfriend now finace is great with our financial things and we are pretty well off just as long as my parents pay for my schooling and car. I swear i will repay them back with everything i have when i can.

I regret not having fun, I regret growing up so fast, I regret not being able to find myself, but i would not change a single thing because i feel like everything is going to be just fine. And i really hope ill raise her to be a very happy, intelligent, and respectful girl. Maybe ill have 2 more when im in my early 30's.

 

[Renee]

I had my son when I was 19. If I could do it again I wouldn't. I love my son but it's been a struggle the whole way. i guess that's what happens when the father is a selfish jackass! But he will be 18 soon and then we don't have to speak to him anymore!

 

[mzKEL_RENEE]

i was 19 when i gave birth to my son on oct. 29, 2007 (im 20 now)
it was really hard because me and my bf were in college at the time, but we both dont go anymore. we have moved in with his parents (not the best thing, lol) but we are managing. i think everything will be okay as long as you have support.
i love my son and he is the best thing in my life.

 

[tiffanykei]

Yikes.

I had my Daughter when I was 19 years old. No regrets though.. She actually helped me mature into a woman y'know? I can proudly say that my Daughter and I grew up together.

My parents were very supportive and although my younger sister was angry with me (I come from a Korean community where everyone just loves to judge, gossip, judge, and gossip.. happens everywhere though right?). They fell in LOVE with my Daughter as soon as they saw her and they've been great Aunts since then.

I'm 23 now, a full time Mother, Student, and Manager.

If not for my Daughter, I'd still be kickin' it partying hardcore with my highschool girlfriends... I'm not saying that it's bad.. I just like being ahead of them in life. Like... Life wise.

 

[tiffanykei]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzKEL_RENEE i was 19 when i gave birth to my son on oct. 29, 2007 (im 20 now) it was really hard because me and my bf were in college at the time, but we both dont go anymore. we have moved in with his parents (not the best thing, lol) but we are managing. i think everything will be okay as long as you have support. i love my son and he is the best thing in my life.

That was my Daughter's due date!!

She was born on October 16th though!

Random..

 

[SkylarV217]

I had my son my freshman year of College. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. While I'm missing out of the sorority I had pledged. My life is so full of joy and love b/c of him. While you miss a lot you gain a lot. Most people say that when life is hard and simple ( as in your struggling a little) as most young parents are , that its the best years of your life. I know that right now are going to be the best. I love being young with my 2 year old b/c I can play with him and give him the attention he needs. I am working my way through college, simply so that I can have more children and stay at home with them. I'd have 3 right now if we could afford it. Being young or old has nothing to do with having children. Your maturity level and mind set are the biggest factors. I know 18-20 year olds that would make far better parents that 35-40 year olds. It's all about the love an attention you can give your child. In the end raising your child with be the biggest accomplishment in your life. When your ready to take on that responsibility . go for it.

 

[lizardprincesa]

I am probably not what you would term a "younger mom," but I wanted to thank you for the topic and to tell all the posters I'm grateful to you for sharing your stories. You have shared from your Hearts, and given me ideas and advice & you don't even know it. I have a few years on most of the posters

We can all learn from each other

My son will be 5 in November. I've interrupted my career for a few years, and I'm raising a child who has special needs, with the support of a loving husband (and basically ONLY with him).

I was married before (*then* I was quite young). He was not the man to be dad to my child (he wasn't my SoulMate), so I think I'm on a path & have made the right choices along my Journey. I do believe everything happens for a reason, but we do have free will along the way...
I was nowhere near mature enough to raise a child during my first marriage, &, while I feel *very* young now, even younger for being with my son & watching him grow & develop, I have been able to fulfill a few Dreams before his birth (education, some exciting travel (largely for research), and more...My Life has been so fascinating thus far; I wonder what comes next!

Thank you for sharing your stories. You never know who you're reaching and inspiring. I truly admire you all! xxxCherylFaith

ps I truly hope nobody thought I was putting them down for being a younger mom. I hope i was clear in saying that we all have our own paths, & that I admire the refreshing views & the love & self-sacrifice younger moms have been able to give your children. You really have helped me with your Heartfelt words & comments. Thank you.

​

 

[pumpkincat210]

I was 21 and it made me grow up really fast. Honestly at the time I wished i had waited though, just because I feel like when my friends were out partying, starting their careers and meeting new people I was at home by myself with the baby alot. I wouldn't give her back for the world. i wish I had delayed it so I could figure out what I wanted to do at the time.
Now i have 3 kids and i'm only 27, but right now I love it! I guess maturing in those years helped and I make sure to not lose my ambition for other things. I try to get out without the kids when I can so i don't lose my sanity. All in all though my kids have taught me more in 6 years than the rest of my life combined. I am a zen master at patience and the feeling of unconditional love is great. It's also kind of like reliving your childhood. You get to do all kinds of things you did as a kid and not feel stupid because you are an adult. You can also show them things and see how their personalities develop. The really only bad thing about being a parent is that you worry about your child alot and it really hurts. At the end of the day its also really easy to go to sleep, because they keep you on your toes. My youngest is about to turn 3 and i have to cope with the fact she's growing up and very very fast. They all are and in no time I'll have empty nest syndrome

 

[Mac Slut]

I was 18 when I had my first son, he will be 12 in December. It was hard because his fathers ex girlfriend was also pregnant!!! Yeah, so he has a brother that is 4 months older than him. I did get married to him and I was young and dumb, I thin part of the reason I got married was to throw it in her face (ex girlfriend) since they had been together for over 5 years but were broken up at the time! Also because I thought I was in love. I did love him but I was too young.

So I graduated high school, got married a month later and moved to Reno, NV from Los Angeles because he had a job with a big company and they had recently moved to Reno. So i was there for a few months and after he had his first baby, a month after we got married, I didn't like certain things that he would do. For example, he would talk to his ex for hours at a time, she would still act like if they were together. So I left in October of 1996 and had my son December 1, 1996. He's so adorable. So I went back to Reno just to visit and the thing with his ex faded away.....but another girl came into the picture, lol. So for a while I was hurt but then got over it. Months passed and he started to change for the better and I gave him another chance. I moved to Reno again Christmas of 1997. I got pregnant with my second son and he was born September of 1998. My husband at the time started hanging around "not so good people" lol and was working two jobs and thought since he worked so much he can get to go out and blah blah blah, yeah he didn't take into consideration my full time job as a mommy also. So he basically just wanted to party with his friends. I gave him an ultimatum, I told him it's either your friends or your family. In my eyes he chose his friends! SO i called my parents up and said "Come and get me, I'm coming home." So they came and picked me up and I've been back home since May of 1999, I mean I was born and raised in Los Angeles but......

So I left took a course in Medical Assistant, finished started working and worked and took care of my kids with the support of my parents and grandmother. I don't know what I would do If I didn't have them. I'm still in school now, I should have been done already but a lot of things come up. Lately, I've been getting depressed because I sit there and think, I'm 30 and I still don't have my nursing career done. Well it's partially done, lol. But living at home still with my kids and the major support of my family help but at times I'd rather quite school and just work so my kids and I can live alone. It's hard living with your kids and parents. But I wouldn't change having my kids at all. I would change getting married and being more aggressive with my education. It's never to late for anything.

I don't believe in getting married because you're pregnant or because you think it will change him. If you are pregnant and your baby daddy is not into you having a baby, don't think that by having the baby you will keep him!! I see too many girls making this mistake.

I have a boyfriend now and he's great. My kids love him and he loves my kids, I'm happy right now except at times when I think of school lol, but other than that everything is great.

(sorry for typos or grammar issues, I don't feel like editing, lol)

 

[elegant-one]

I guess I'm one of the older moms on this board

We had our son when I was 20...he is now 29. He is the Best thing that ever happened to us.

I agree with Skylar, "It's all about the love and attention you can give your child." We gave him all our love & time. We read to him, taught him another language, & explained things to him even when he was very young. As he got older, we always talked to him with honesty...never talked down to him. This gave him an extraordinary security & intellect as a young man into adulthood. No sacrifice is too great for them. Our son thanks us all the time now, that we supported him, his talents & dreams.

Ah, but the years go by extremely fast, so enjoy them & love them every minute you have with them. It seems like yesterday that I held his tiny little hand in mine & kissed it as he slept - a memory I dearly treasure.

The great advantage of having them younger - you have more energy, I think