Unbearable Pain..

[revinn]

I know that a bit of pain and discomfort is normal the first time a girl has sex, but I'm CONVINCED that my first and second times were NOT normal.

When my ex and I first tried to have sex, we used lots of lubricant and I was definitely properly .. prepared. I was SO comfortable with him, and hardly nervous at all. He was a virgin as well, and under what I hope was performance anxiety, couldn't get fully erect. Mostly, but not fully. So we tried and tried and tried, but everytime he could get it in far enough, it would feel like someone was actually ripping me in half. The next occasion that we tried, he was once again only semi-erect, and the pain was absolutely unbearable. I couldn't continue.

Now, here's the strange thing about me..when I was fourteen, I was fingered for the first time, and the guy accidently stuck his finger into my urethra. Not too far, as the slit is so small, but enough to do me a fair amount of injury. I was bruised and couldn't pee without extreme pain for weeks. I haven't been able to be fingered since, in fear that the same thing would happen.

So what do you is going on? Is something wrong with me physically that I can't have sex? It's really bothering me, and I want to be able to enjoy sex, instead of feeling like I'm going to be torn apart.

 

[Nox]

First of all *GASP*!

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

What you are describing is definitely not 'normal'. Have you ever had an annual pelvic exam? If not, I would go and do so as soon as your able. A woman who is thinking about becoming sexually active should have that at the top of her list. Ask your gynecologist questions through out the process. Tell her/him what you've been experiencing, and also the injury to your urethra that you've had. Chances are, that there may be some scar tissue up there, and that may be why it is painful for you when you're stretched a bit (I'm only guessing, and I'm not your doctor, so this is not professional medical advice). But whatever your condition, you really should get looked at.

Also, I believe a lot of problems with painful intercourse can have something to do with the man. A lot of guys out there just don't know what they're doing. A penis is not something that can just be shoved straight in, there is a certain... "artful glide & swing" that has to be used, otherwise, there are no good times to be had.

 

[nursee81]

you really need to go and see a gyn asap

 

[*KT*]

If the ob/gyn clears you physically, then it still could be something in your subconscious that's hesitant due to the prior injury experience. I can't imagine how painful that must have been! Even if you're thinking "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!" there still could be a part of you thinking "Oh hell, this better not turn out like the other time!" causing you not be able to let him enter comfortably.

Definitely get yourself checked out so you can at least narrow down the problem. You'll get this figured out, try not to stress too much about it!

 

[eye_pr0mise]

ya you should go to the gyn, and tell them about this.

i agree with Nox about the scar tissue. It might be that
every time you have sex its like picking at a scab. And
since that is a very sensitive area, you feel everylittle
thing (as compared to say a scab on your arm).

 

[Faded Rose]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nursee81 you really need to go and see a gyn asap

*agree*

I too was in pain the first times but when I told my bf to slow down it stopped hurting and then we could go along.

Maybe one of the reasons it hurt so much was that your ex wasn't fully erect. The position of his penis wouldn't be similar to the one when he's totally...well, hard.

But if you haven't visited a gyn yet, you definitly have to do so!!