_tiffany
Well-known member
I don't know if I'm being too sensitive, so I'm asking for your honest opinions since you all have been really helpful before. The other day, my boyfriend went boating with his friend while I was at work. He texted me and the conversation went something like this:
Him: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing. What are you doing?
Him: Boating.
Me: Still? Who are you with?
Him: Bastards.
Me: Who?
Him: [Friend]'s friends and his dumbest coworker. Want to come to my uncle's? We're going there now.
Me: Are the people you're with all from his work?
[An hour passes]
Him: I have money for you.
Me: Are the people you're with all from his work?
Him: No [other guy] met us with girls and kids.
Me: You're with girls and kids?
Him: No me and [Friend] are going back.
Me: I meant on the boat.
Him: A bunch of bastards.
Me: And girls and kids?
Him: Yea do u want to come over.
Is it weird that he seems to have used terms that suggest only guys were on the boat or is it just me and my trust issues? I think it's shady that he doesn't come out and say, "Oh, I'm boating with [Friend], his coworkers, and these girls", it seems like I have to drag the truth out of him.
I don't see a problem with girls being on the boat, the problem with me is that he seems to have tried to hide it. He says that if he wanted to lie, he would blatantly lie and say it was just him and his friend and that he's hesitant to tell me when girls are around because I'd be mad. I've told him before that as long as he's honest about who he's with, I'm not going to throw a fit about it.
He also said, "Well I invited you". But he "invited" me to his uncle's house, I don't know how to get there, and he didn't even answer my text until over an hour later. Another problem I have comes from this winter when I mentioned going snowboarding with people I know (some of them being guys), he freaked out and acted like it was the end of the world. So it's like he has a double standard. I asked him why it's ok for him to go boating with girls but not for me to go snowboarding with guys and he said it's not the same comparison because he hangs out with this boating friend of his regularly and I don't hang out with anyone regularly.
I'm trying to work on trusting him more, but it's hard for me to do that when he still seems to not be fully honest with me. He keeps saying he's true to me and that I'm just being crazy and need to see a therapist. I told him that we both have to change: I need to work on trusting him more and he needs to work on being more honest with me. But once I say that, he goes back to acting like everything is normal and doesn't even acknowledge what I said. Ugh...I'm so frustrated, it's times like these that I wish I had dated more in high school so I'd be more familiar with dealing with issues like this instead of having to post it on here.
Him: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing. What are you doing?
Him: Boating.
Me: Still? Who are you with?
Him: Bastards.
Me: Who?
Him: [Friend]'s friends and his dumbest coworker. Want to come to my uncle's? We're going there now.
Me: Are the people you're with all from his work?
[An hour passes]
Him: I have money for you.
Me: Are the people you're with all from his work?
Him: No [other guy] met us with girls and kids.
Me: You're with girls and kids?
Him: No me and [Friend] are going back.
Me: I meant on the boat.
Him: A bunch of bastards.
Me: And girls and kids?
Him: Yea do u want to come over.
Is it weird that he seems to have used terms that suggest only guys were on the boat or is it just me and my trust issues? I think it's shady that he doesn't come out and say, "Oh, I'm boating with [Friend], his coworkers, and these girls", it seems like I have to drag the truth out of him.
I don't see a problem with girls being on the boat, the problem with me is that he seems to have tried to hide it. He says that if he wanted to lie, he would blatantly lie and say it was just him and his friend and that he's hesitant to tell me when girls are around because I'd be mad. I've told him before that as long as he's honest about who he's with, I'm not going to throw a fit about it.
He also said, "Well I invited you". But he "invited" me to his uncle's house, I don't know how to get there, and he didn't even answer my text until over an hour later. Another problem I have comes from this winter when I mentioned going snowboarding with people I know (some of them being guys), he freaked out and acted like it was the end of the world. So it's like he has a double standard. I asked him why it's ok for him to go boating with girls but not for me to go snowboarding with guys and he said it's not the same comparison because he hangs out with this boating friend of his regularly and I don't hang out with anyone regularly.
I'm trying to work on trusting him more, but it's hard for me to do that when he still seems to not be fully honest with me. He keeps saying he's true to me and that I'm just being crazy and need to see a therapist. I told him that we both have to change: I need to work on trusting him more and he needs to work on being more honest with me. But once I say that, he goes back to acting like everything is normal and doesn't even acknowledge what I said. Ugh...I'm so frustrated, it's times like these that I wish I had dated more in high school so I'd be more familiar with dealing with issues like this instead of having to post it on here.