visivo
Well-known member
Okay, I have had a hell of a day. Suffice to say that these past few days have been the worst, most emotional days in a longgg time.
Basically, every thing in my life is going wrong -- school, work, money, my health (anxiety, stress and possibly a relapse into depression these days because it feels so hopeless), and now my relationship with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, whom I consider not only my lover, but my best friend, is feeling really on the rocks.
I wish I was a strong person that knew exactly how to get her shit together -- just stand up and tackle these problems one by one. But I am not. In getting into such a serious relationship relatively young (I was just 17 when we met), I have become so dependent on him and it is hard to think of myself without him -- not to mention life without him. We are taking a break right now, but I have a feeling this is the end, which is a shame, considering all that we have been through. We get to a point where we can't say a word to each other without a fight erupting, because of all the built up shit that we are feeling, but isnt being said. I know he loves me, but he has been so cold lately. I love him so much, despite all the things that have been said.
What do you do when you feel like every part of your life is coming down on you simultaneously, and you are left without structure or your companion to turn to?
This week my goal is to focus on getting school into place. Taking baths. Long walks. Thinking, but not too much. Sometimes I scare myself with how emotional I have become in the past few years. It doesn't take much to hurt me, and it takes a lot to calm myself down. In treatment, my psychotherapist taught me relaxation and breathing methods, but I never got used to them. Nor the meds, ha.
So, after all that, what do you do when you feel like nothing, like shit, like you don't have a lot left in you anymore?
Basically, every thing in my life is going wrong -- school, work, money, my health (anxiety, stress and possibly a relapse into depression these days because it feels so hopeless), and now my relationship with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, whom I consider not only my lover, but my best friend, is feeling really on the rocks.
I wish I was a strong person that knew exactly how to get her shit together -- just stand up and tackle these problems one by one. But I am not. In getting into such a serious relationship relatively young (I was just 17 when we met), I have become so dependent on him and it is hard to think of myself without him -- not to mention life without him. We are taking a break right now, but I have a feeling this is the end, which is a shame, considering all that we have been through. We get to a point where we can't say a word to each other without a fight erupting, because of all the built up shit that we are feeling, but isnt being said. I know he loves me, but he has been so cold lately. I love him so much, despite all the things that have been said.
What do you do when you feel like every part of your life is coming down on you simultaneously, and you are left without structure or your companion to turn to?
This week my goal is to focus on getting school into place. Taking baths. Long walks. Thinking, but not too much. Sometimes I scare myself with how emotional I have become in the past few years. It doesn't take much to hurt me, and it takes a lot to calm myself down. In treatment, my psychotherapist taught me relaxation and breathing methods, but I never got used to them. Nor the meds, ha.
So, after all that, what do you do when you feel like nothing, like shit, like you don't have a lot left in you anymore?