How to tell husband is cheating???
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LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
As a self-respecting woman, there is no way in hell that I would allow myself to become Sherlock Holmes just for a man. I am not going to follow a man around like a dog worrying my mind about his whereabouts and his actions. Being a detective is not my profession.
If I suspected he was cheating on me and I was pretty sure he was and I demanded an honest answer and he told me he was not and I still suspected he was lying to me and was not being genuine then I would just end the relationship...until he is ready to come clean, but him brushing off my concerns like it's nothing would bother me. He should be able to understand where I'm coming from....and that his recent actions (frequent showers, phone conversations etc) are putting me in an awkward, uncomfortable position. The signs are pretty obvious to me. What's even more obvious are the diseases out there, no way would I put my health at risk of catching an STD from a cheating husband. My life is too much of a priority. I don't know; I would just leave or have him leave the home, but it's not my obligation to tell anyone to leave their husband, it's just something that I would do if he continued to lie to me and I was pretty sure he was cheating. And if I was sure that I am not an insecure woman and I'm not just making these things up in my head, then yea, I would trust my instincts and be out...I'm not fond of becoming Inspector Gadget. Ever. But that's just me. Anyhow, take care. Hopefully he's not cheating. Give us an update when you can.
If I suspected he was cheating on me and I was pretty sure he was and I demanded an honest answer and he told me he was not and I still suspected he was lying to me and was not being genuine then I would just end the relationship...until he is ready to come clean, but him brushing off my concerns like it's nothing would bother me. He should be able to understand where I'm coming from....and that his recent actions (frequent showers, phone conversations etc) are putting me in an awkward, uncomfortable position. The signs are pretty obvious to me. What's even more obvious are the diseases out there, no way would I put my health at risk of catching an STD from a cheating husband. My life is too much of a priority. I don't know; I would just leave or have him leave the home, but it's not my obligation to tell anyone to leave their husband, it's just something that I would do if he continued to lie to me and I was pretty sure he was cheating. And if I was sure that I am not an insecure woman and I'm not just making these things up in my head, then yea, I would trust my instincts and be out...I'm not fond of becoming Inspector Gadget. Ever. But that's just me. Anyhow, take care. Hopefully he's not cheating. Give us an update when you can.
AliVix1
Well-known member
as someone who has been cheated on and more importantly as someone who has cheated.. those do sound like some serious signs... first off if he is defensive thats bad news to start.. a significant change in grooming/showering habits is a telltale giveaway (the time i was cheating on my bf was when i was into makeup the most).. sneaky phone behavior is def a sign.. when my bf was cheating on me he made up this excuse that his phone "wasnt working right" and i did believe him for awhile bc he did have a really shitty cheap phone.. but one night he came home really hammered and admitted he was just ignoring my calls.. asshole, so id say u do have some pretty serious signs..
does he act differently around you now? (aka not as lovey, not as interested in sex) thats another HUGE sign...
shit bfs home so i gotta go but goodluck and i hope hes not cheating but please do be smart and listen to your heart/intuition!
does he act differently around you now? (aka not as lovey, not as interested in sex) thats another HUGE sign...
shit bfs home so i gotta go but goodluck and i hope hes not cheating but please do be smart and listen to your heart/intuition!
NeonKitty
Well-known member
Quote:
THIS
Now you need to get smart about this. The thought of him cheating hurts, but don't let it turn you into his doormat or an emptional disaster.You owe it to yourself to keep your head on straight. If you start crying and accusing him and sneaking around, he will clamp down and hide and destroy any evidence. If you want to find your proof, then play cool, like you don't notice a thing. He will get comfortable and let his guard down. That's when he gets lazy about hiding things and starts to make mistakes. This gives you your opportunity for proof, which can be used in a court of law if necessary. Further, typically cheaters will deny till they are blue in the face that they are cheating, unless they are confronted with indiputable evidence, like printouts of texts messages, emails etc. So getting emotional is counterproductive. You won't get him to admit anything. Give him enough rope to hang himself with.
It sounds cold, but if he is breaking his marriage vows and exposing you to STDs, you need to realize that HE is the one that is the problem, and you need to protect yourself. NOTHING you have done is an acceptable excuse for cheating. NOTHING. If he's that unhapppy, he owes you the respect of breaking it off and leaving before he starts chasing tail.
After you confront him with evidence you can decide if you want to pursue counselling or not. That's up to you. But you will never get him to admit anything without that evidence. And you will not get that evidence if you get up in his face all suspicious and accusing. Pretend you don't notice a thing. Trust me, the evidence will jump right into your hands, you don't need to do anything.
BTDT, have the t-shit, I owned him so bad he even wrote a 3000 word essay on how cheating affects others, just because I felt like it.
Don't be a victim, take control of the situation.
Originally Posted by AliVix1
as someone who has been cheated on and more importantly as someone who has cheated.. those do sound like some serious signs... first off if he is defensive thats bad news to start.. a significant change in grooming/showering habits is a telltale giveaway (the time i was cheating on my bf was when i was into makeup the most).. sneaky phone behavior is def a sign.. when my bf was cheating on me he made up this excuse that his phone "wasnt working right" and i did believe him for awhile bc he did have a really shitty cheap phone.. but one night he came home really hammered and admitted he was just ignoring my calls.. asshole, so id say u do have some pretty serious signs.. does he act differently around you now? (aka not as lovey, not as interested in sex) thats another HUGE sign... shit bfs home so i gotta go but goodluck and i hope hes not cheating but please do be smart and listen to your heart/intuition! |
THIS
Now you need to get smart about this. The thought of him cheating hurts, but don't let it turn you into his doormat or an emptional disaster.You owe it to yourself to keep your head on straight. If you start crying and accusing him and sneaking around, he will clamp down and hide and destroy any evidence. If you want to find your proof, then play cool, like you don't notice a thing. He will get comfortable and let his guard down. That's when he gets lazy about hiding things and starts to make mistakes. This gives you your opportunity for proof, which can be used in a court of law if necessary. Further, typically cheaters will deny till they are blue in the face that they are cheating, unless they are confronted with indiputable evidence, like printouts of texts messages, emails etc. So getting emotional is counterproductive. You won't get him to admit anything. Give him enough rope to hang himself with.
It sounds cold, but if he is breaking his marriage vows and exposing you to STDs, you need to realize that HE is the one that is the problem, and you need to protect yourself. NOTHING you have done is an acceptable excuse for cheating. NOTHING. If he's that unhapppy, he owes you the respect of breaking it off and leaving before he starts chasing tail.
After you confront him with evidence you can decide if you want to pursue counselling or not. That's up to you. But you will never get him to admit anything without that evidence. And you will not get that evidence if you get up in his face all suspicious and accusing. Pretend you don't notice a thing. Trust me, the evidence will jump right into your hands, you don't need to do anything.
BTDT, have the t-shit, I owned him so bad he even wrote a 3000 word essay on how cheating affects others, just because I felt like it.
Don't be a victim, take control of the situation.
Efionawade
Well-known member
Quote:
Best advice evvvver. Seriously, I have an IUD and if my boyfriend was to ever cheat on me and bring something home, and transmit it to me, I could -die- from it if an infection spread!
Keep in mind that if you don't trust your man, that's a problem right there!
| Originally Posted by MissChievous
If you do suspect he is cheating on you, make sure you get an STD test, or start using condoms if you're not already. The last thing you want is to end up with some disease if it really is the worst case scenario. I'd probably just straight up ask him if he's having an affair and that he should just tell you. If he doesn't admit it but still continues with the weird behavior, I'd probably start snooping but I would do it as a last resort. |
Best advice evvvver. Seriously, I have an IUD and if my boyfriend was to ever cheat on me and bring something home, and transmit it to me, I could -die- from it if an infection spread!
Keep in mind that if you don't trust your man, that's a problem right there!
lovl3y1987
New member
welll ...... jeeezz ...
:O) get his phone records , that always works .
:O) get his phone records , that always works .
Ms. Z
Well-known member
Ladies, sounds like denial....if he's not cheating, he's a hitman.
The Top Ten Signs That Your Mate Is Cheating On You
The Top Ten Signs That Your Mate Is Cheating On You
User38
Well-known member
Quote:
I agree: listen to
your instincts.
Check all records, but you will really be looking for confirmaton of his cheating -- once you feel something you should follow it up and you will learn it is usually true.
| Originally Posted by Amber*Christine
By the way ALWAYS listen to your intuition, lack of affection, becoming distant, no longer initiating sex, seeming preoccupied, these are other signs of an affair. |
Check all records, but you will really be looking for confirmaton of his cheating -- once you feel something you should follow it up and you will learn it is usually true.
