"I haven't lost anything except my mind."

Rockette13

Well-known member
Thank you so much everyone! It means a lot! I haven't really done my makeup that often lately, and I had quite a bad day yesterday. My grandfather, who I lived with for more than fourteen years, has liver cancer that has spread throughout his entire body. I went to go visit him a week ago and he was definitely in pain, but he was up moving around and downstairs playing on his computer. Yesterday when I went to see him, my heart stopped. He is confined to his bed because the pain has gotten so bad that he can't get up. He has lost a lot of muscle and his skin just hangs from his bones where it used to be. I went over to his bed and tried to talk to him, but when he opened his mouth to reply, all that came out were random babbling noises. He can't talk most of the time. Every once in a while he is able to manage a few words, but even then they rarely make sense as his mind is going now. It was just a horrible day. I turn eighteen in ten days, and after seeing his condition yesterday, I doubt he will get to see it or his last Christmas.

Sorry for that. I just needed to get it out. My boyfriend is out of town and the only other people I can talk to are feeling the same way I am right now about him. Your kind comments about this FOTD made me feel really good and took my mind off of everything that is going wrong, even for just a moment.
 

blackeneddove

Well-known member
^^ I'm really sorry to hear about your Grandpa.. I lost my own because of cancer a few years ago too
th_cheerup.gif
feel better!

And to the FOTD.. I personally LOVE the new hair! It's just a drastic change is all, but I think it's awesome! After your FOTD I have officially decided I need to get my hands on that lip tar, it's amazing!
The first FOTD is pretty too, but I definately love the "out there"-ness of the second one, I'm all for bright and dramatic looks.
 

Sythua

Active member
For the first look: great combination. Makes your eye pop.

Second look:Wow, awesome hair. and your make up pulls it all together ^_^
 

meowmisu

Active member
You look gorgeous in both looks/hairstyles but I'm loving the new look. Such a dramatic do and it really works with your face. You're lovely!

So sorry to hear about your grandfather.
 

Rockette13

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackeneddove
^^ I'm really sorry to hear about your Grandpa.. I lost my own because of cancer a few years ago too
th_cheerup.gif
feel better!

And to the FOTD.. I personally LOVE the new hair! It's just a drastic change is all, but I think it's awesome! After your FOTD I have officially decided I need to get my hands on that lip tar, it's amazing!
The first FOTD is pretty too, but I definately love the "out there"-ness of the second one, I'm all for bright and dramatic looks.


Thank you for your kind comments, both about my FOTD and my grandfather. He passed away last night. After seeing him yesterday afternoon I knew it was going to happen very soon, and yet it was still the biggest shock when it actually did. I feel like I'm in a fog...I'll catch myself staring randomly, but I'm not really looking at anything, you know? And, on top of that, no matter what I'm thinking of, my mind always goes back to him. Everything reminds me of him. My playlist on Window's Media Player is set to random, and I just cried my eyes out when "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera came on.

I posted here on Specktra about getting a makeup-inspired tattoo for my 18th birthday but, while I still want that one, it can wait. It just occured to me to get the lyrics "If only I knew what I know today/I would hold you in my arms/I would take the pain away/Thank you for all you've done/Forgive all your mistakes" tattooed on my right shoulder blade area. I might do something else, I dunno. But a tattooed tribute to him in some way is definitely happening.
 

Hypathya

Well-known member
So sorry you're going through all this. It's absolutely devastating to look someone you really love go through such a terrible experience and pain. Death is just another part of life and I'm confident is not the end, you shall meet again in a brighter, happier, better place. Besides, the love that connects you both will never die. Live you pain at the fullest so you can live at fullest again.

In the brighter side of life, you're gorgeous!! You have such sparkly eyes and beautiful features. I can't decide which look I preferred the most, your hair and make up are gorgeous in both!!

I hope you feel better soon. Be blessed.
 

randeezi00

Active member
Although the first look is very pretty, I *LOVE* the second look, it is very striking. The blue looks great with your fair skin and your make up is great-love the lip tar on you!
 

ShockBunnie

Well-known member
When I dyed my hair bright pink, more people would engage in conversations with me because "i didn't look as serious". I think the same kind of applies to you... I love your new look because it seems more approachable, like "hey! she's fun!" (Not that you weren't gorgeous in your before shot!) hahah =]
 

ashley8119

Well-known member
I'm very sorry to hear about your grandpa, my grandma has pancreatic cancer that spread to her liver and I lost her several years ago, so I know how hard it is to see somebody you love in horrible pain and watching them deteoriate and then when they pass, it's just horrible. I'm very sorry for your loss. "Hurt" makes me think of my grandma as well, especially "Sometimes I wanna call you/But I know you won't be there" and "There's nothing I wouldn't do/to have just one more chance/to look into your eyes/and see you looking back".

Anyway, "Anime" looks awesome on you! It's my favorite lip tar! I think it was you (Are you NovaBaby on Makeupalley?), and there was a picture of you with bright red hair with bright red lips and it looked amazing. You can pull everything off! And "girl interrupted" is my favorite movie!!!
 

Rockette13

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashley8119
I'm very sorry to hear about your grandpa, my grandma has pancreatic cancer that spread to her liver and I lost her several years ago, so I know how hard it is to see somebody you love in horrible pain and watching them deteoriate and then when they pass, it's just horrible. I'm very sorry for your loss. "Hurt" makes me think of my grandma as well, especially "Sometimes I wanna call you/But I know you won't be there" and "There's nothing I wouldn't do/to have just one more chance/to look into your eyes/and see you looking back".

Anyway, "Anime" looks awesome on you! It's my favorite lip tar! I think it was you (Are you NovaBaby on Makeupalley?), and there was a picture of you with bright red hair with bright red lips and it looked amazing. You can pull everything off! And "girl interrupted" is my favorite movie!!!


I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Cancer is a horrible disease. It's completely unfair and so slow and painful.

On another note, it seems that we have a lot in common! And, yes, I was Nova_Baby on MUA...don't remind me. Lol.
 
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