i went to a strip club last night lol

SonRisa

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chelly
bottem line - lighten up - its really not such a big deal


I couldn't agree more. I can't believe I'm reading half of this. "Women look fake and made up" etc. "When you dress like a hoe I'll treat you like a hoe. . ." So I'm just asking but if a women is dressed in a mini skirt and halter top and she gets raped, do you think she was "asking for it"?!? I too am appauled at the anti-women sentiment coming across in these statements. I understand we were all raised differently with different values etc, but jesus christ, I could have sworn this was 2006! And tell me, how does a hoe dress exactly? Do you realize that strippers wear what they do because it's a costume for their job? Yes, they chose that job. Some may have the job oly to make money, others may truly enjoy the empowerment they feel. Many of you may not understand this but I remember reading a paper in college about this in one of my human sexuality classes. It was all about embracing being a woman and having the power to turn a man on. Make him want something he can't have.

Maybe I'm biased because I'm bisexual, but I've never had a problem with any boyfriend of mine looking at porn, going to strip clubs or any of that. I don't care if he's thinking about a stripper while we have sex. It's a fantasy. Which is healthy. I'll watch porn with him and LOVE going to strip clubs. I also however, am very secure in my relationship(s) (past and present). If I wasn't, I wouldn't be in them. Because without trust, you have nothing. I could be wrong, but I'm getting the feeling that a lot of these comments are coming from people who are not secure with themselves (not even their relationship), but themselves. If you can honestly say that women disgust you, do you love yourself? How could you and make a statement like that? Women are sexy, period. As a gender we just have more sex appeal than any male ever will. It's in our very essence.

I really just don't see the big deal. A healthy sexual appetite is good for the body, mind and soul and if indulging in fantasies is part of that, who are you to judge and say it's wrong?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemichelle
Most women look fake and made-up to me. Men are pure and thats what I love about them. Plus, women are just stank in my opinion. When you dress like a hoe thats how I will treat you . . .we don't need that kind of "fun" because we have each other for those kinds of things. Some people find it all cute or whatever, but that will never be me. I was never a club goer and neither was he.
 

Chelly

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemichelle
I rather look at a man then a women any day. I like how (i wont say men because i dont look at other men, but) my boyfriend looks and feels and its way more pleasing then a women. Most women look fake and made-up to me. Men are pure and thats what I love about them. Plus, women are just stank in my opinion. When you dress like a hoe thats how I will treat you and just from public restrooms I would never go near a women on a close basis. As far as strip clubs go, my boyfriend has been to them in FL while he was single, but never when involved. For him and I it's just understood we don't need that kind of "fun" because we have each other for those kinds of things. Some people find it all cute or whatever, but that will never be me. I was never a club goer and neither was he.


then basically your close minded and boring
yawn.gif
 

msthrope

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chelly
then basically your close minded and boring
yawn.gif


just because someone doesn't go to strip clubs doesn't make them close-minded or boring. i know some seriously kinky people who don't do that.
 

sbetsy

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by SonRisa
Some may have the job only to make money, others may truly enjoy the empowerment they feel. Many of you may not understand this but I remember reading a paper in college about this in one of my human sexuality classes. It was all about embracing being a woman and having the power to turn a man on. Make him want something he can't have.

I completely agree. It can be very exciting to have that power. I think many women have fantasies about turning men on in this way but also feel ashamed because of what that kind of fantasy symbolizes to them. It doesn't have to symbolize anything - it can just be a fantasy.
 

msthrope

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by sbetsy
I completely agree. It can be very exciting to have that power. I think many women have fantasies about turning men on in this way but also feel ashamed because of what that kind of fantasy symbolizes to them. It doesn't have to symbolize anything - it can just be a fantasy.

there's a big difference between feeling like you have power and actually having power. like one of the SG's in "jane" said, "how is selling your pussy online empowering"? i believe the quote can be easily extended.
 

sbetsy

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by msthrope
there's a big difference between feeling like you have power and actually having power. like one of the SG's in "jane" said, "how is selling your pussy online empowering"? i believe the quote can be easily extended.

I agree that there is a big difference. I suppose it depends on what you mean by power - and what kind of power you have/want. I don't feel that, as a society, we have come to a point where women and men have equal power. Selling sexuality and having power over your customers in a local sense is not the same as being part of the group that is dominant. That said, on an individual level, I think it is more empowering for a woman to feel like her body has power and is beautiful/exciting/powerful than for her to feel degraded, ashamed and repress her sexuality. This is one of those situations where each individual situation needs to be independently examined. If a woman is getting trashed/intoxicated because she can't bear to perform sober, then dancing for leering men, taking the money she earns and giving it to her abusive boyfriend - that sucks. If a woman uses a resource (her body) to put herself through law school and graduates without debt because she had enough to pay for tuition from dancing, doesn't get "hung up" by the destructive forces in the club (prostitution, drugs, self-hatred) and miraculously is free from any unpleasant experiences - that's great.

As far as the average woman fantasizing about situations in which she is a dancer and men are lusting over her - I'm not going to tell her that she should be ashamed of such a fantasy because it's part of the patriarchy - good for her for recognizing that it feels good to be desired. I'm pretty sure that men like feeling desired too...
 

MeganGMcD

Well-known member
If you do like it, that's fine.
If someone DOESN'T like it, don't tell them to " lighten up"
It is not in their personal comfort level.
And PLEASE if you think I am close minded and boring you have NO FREAKING CLUE who I am.

And YOU may think it's empowering but men aren't thinking about your intentions when they are ogling you ass crack.
 

Chelly

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeganGMcD
If you do like it, that's fine.
If someone DOESN'T like it, don't tell them to " lighten up"
It is not in their personal comfort level.
And PLEASE if you think I am close minded and boring you have NO FREAKING CLUE who I am.

And YOU may think it's empowering but men aren't thinking about your intentions when they are ogling you ass crack.



did i touch a nerve? oops - and look at that i wasnt even talking to you! lol
 

kaliraksha

Well-known member
woah... i think everyone is entitled to their own opinion... i came along way from thinking i could never go to a strip club much less with my boyfriend... to going and just having a good time... yeah it's personal... but it's not too bad once you go... even my boyfriend who had never been thought it was a lot better than he thought. he always pictured it as a lot more "skanky".

but also... it really depends on where you are getting your ideas....movies?.... books? how accurate is that if you've never been? also... where are you going to? the girls here are sweet... they dress up they have fun... at least the strip club i go to.... we went to one in mexico... and it was obvious it was a whore house coverup and it made me sick... the girls were prettier... better costumes... and a much more glamorous place... but i felt awful and just wanted to go home and we did... because they werent friendly... they were all sitting on really old fat guys laps for like 3 minutes then going "upstairs" after paying the guy at the foot of the stairs... although i was assured it wasn't that kind of place before we came in.

also on another note... of everything being personal... ive put on a strip show or two for my boyfriend and i really enjoy it... but thats because i know he loves and respects me...and i couldnt do it for a living.... for me it is powerful because i want him to imagine whatever he is about me at the moment...because yeah i am going to give it to him in the end... its foreplay
maybe some strippers dwell in that or like that feeling they get? yeah im sure a lot of them are doing it for money... but in which case they like easy money... if they didnt like easy money and wanted to work for 9/hr like the rest of us college girls then they wouldnt put up with it... its a trade off. i dont believe for a minute that those girls got completely caught up in it and hate their job... they love their money... there wouldnt be this entire sexual industry if people werent willing. i make it on my own without my parents help paying for college and working while going to school on a 9/hr job... they can too
 

kaliraksha

Well-known member
i dunno... but i dont see how you cant check someone out when they are on a stage... if i go to play... i examine "oh man what a beautiful face" ... a ballet "look at his awesome ass".... a musical with dancing "i wish i could move like that"......cirque du soleil "why dont i look hot in a spandex suit and lots of makeup?" i don't find it disrespectful to check them out in front of my boyfriend... because they are presenting themselves on a stage for scrutiny... they are playing a part.... if i checked out a guy on the street with my boyfriend... yeah he would be upset... .. but not when its part of their job. for me i know its weird if he isnt looking at the stripper... i have enough confidence to know that he picked me... i mean hell... im looking at her... and i just tell myself... if the roles were reversed it would be natural to look.
 

SonRisa

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaliraksha
i dunno... but i dont see how you cant check someone out when they are on a stage... if i go to play... i examine "oh man what a beautiful face" ... a ballet "look at his awesome ass".... a musical with dancing "i wish i could move like that"......cirque du soleil "why dont i look hot in a spandex suit and lots of makeup?" i don't find it disrespectful to check them out in front of my boyfriend... because they are presenting themselves on a stage for scrutiny... they are playing a part.... if i checked out a guy on the street with my boyfriend... yeah he would be upset... .. but not when its part of their job. for me i know its weird if he isnt looking at the stripper... i have enough confidence to know that he picked me... i mean hell... im looking at her... and i just tell myself... if the roles were reversed it would be natural to look.


Exactly! I agree with 99% of what you said. And you hit the nail on the head with the whole stage/performer bit.
 

user4

New member
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZLoves2Shop
Have any of you asked to have another man do this to you or you do it to another man? I'm curious about the reaction from your mate. From what I hear, although it seems like many men love that female/female action, they don't want the woman in their life to experience that with another man. I know a few men who date/mess around with bi woman and one couple where the wife is bi and the men refuse to allow another man to be part of the action. It's a biased situation, the men want to watch and even get it on with the other woman but feel threatened by another man. I feel what is good fr the goose is good for the gander.

i think that if both women feel comfortable in some sort of three way relationship situation, there's nothing wrong with it. i dont think it would work in my relationship (even if i were bi, i am a bit possesive)... but either way i dont think it's the same at all to have sex with another women for your husband's enjoyment than to get a lapdance one night just for giggles!
 

user4

New member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chelly
bottem line - lighten up - its really not such a big deal

i totally agree with you.... it's really not that big of a deal until u feel that it's a big deal (personally)... chelly, if you dont care about having a girl give ur man a lap dance, then nobody should tell you that you should feel innadequate or disrespected. but on the flipside, if zshop feels like she is then i hope she got a man who won't ask her for that... easily solved!
 

user4

New member
Quote:
Originally Posted by SonRisa
I couldn't agree more. I can't believe I'm reading half of this. "Women look fake and made up" etc. "When you dress like a hoe I'll treat you like a hoe. . ." So I'm just asking but if a women is dressed in a mini skirt and halter top and she gets raped, do you think she was "asking for it"?!? I too am appauled at the anti-women sentiment coming across in these statements. I understand we were all raised differently with different values etc, but jesus christ, I could have sworn this was 2006! And tell me, how does a hoe dress exactly? Do you realize that strippers wear what they do because it's a costume for their job? Yes, they chose that job. Some may have the job oly to make money, others may truly enjoy the empowerment they feel. Many of you may not understand this but I remember reading a paper in college about this in one of my human sexuality classes. It was all about embracing being a woman and having the power to turn a man on. Make him want something he can't have.

Maybe I'm biased because I'm bisexual, but I've never had a problem with any boyfriend of mine looking at porn, going to strip clubs or any of that. I don't care if he's thinking about a stripper while we have sex. It's a fantasy. Which is healthy. I'll watch porn with him and LOVE going to strip clubs. I also however, am very secure in my relationship(s) (past and present). If I wasn't, I wouldn't be in them. Because without trust, you have nothing. I could be wrong, but I'm getting the feeling that a lot of these comments are coming from people who are not secure with themselves (not even their relationship), but themselves. If you can honestly say that women disgust you, do you love yourself? How could you and make a statement like that? Women are sexy, period. As a gender we just have more sex appeal than any male ever will. It's in our very essence.

I really just don't see the big deal. A healthy sexual appetite is good for the body, mind and soul and if indulging in fantasies is part of that, who are you to judge and say it's wrong?!


My God, I could not have said it better myself. I applaud you risa!!!!!
 

blueyedlady87

Well-known member
Personally, I wouldn't approve of any guy I'm with going to a strip club. I'm more than happy to change it up with dress-up, wigs, etc. I love buying sexy and sometimes trashy lingerie to do a lil strip tease. But I feel like if a guy has to go look at other naked chicks (who are just getting paid to feign interest), when he has me at home to do it for him, then obviously theres a problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude. I've toyed with the idea of stripping. My ex said it best, "Why would I want to pay some girl to strip after she's been all over hundreds of guys when I have you right here?" However, I would be open to a trade-off! Like, you come to the guy strip club w/ me and then I'll go to the chick one. But often its one sided. The guys want their girlsfreinds at the strip club, but get grossed out at the thought of going to a male stripclub. Stupid double standard.
 

melozburngr

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by SonRisa
I couldn't agree more. I can't believe I'm reading half of this. "Women look fake and made up" etc. "When you dress like a hoe I'll treat you like a hoe. . ." So I'm just asking but if a women is dressed in a mini skirt and halter top and she gets raped, do you think she was "asking for it"?!? I too am appauled at the anti-women sentiment coming across in these statements. I understand we were all raised differently with different values etc, but jesus christ, I could have sworn this was 2006! And tell me, how does a hoe dress exactly? Do you realize that strippers wear what they do because it's a costume for their job? Yes, they chose that job. Some may have the job oly to make money, others may truly enjoy the empowerment they feel. Many of you may not understand this but I remember reading a paper in college about this in one of my human sexuality classes. It was all about embracing being a woman and having the power to turn a man on. Make him want something he can't have.

Maybe I'm biased because I'm bisexual, but I've never had a problem with any boyfriend of mine looking at porn, going to strip clubs or any of that. I don't care if he's thinking about a stripper while we have sex. It's a fantasy. Which is healthy. I'll watch porn with him and LOVE going to strip clubs. I also however, am very secure in my relationship(s) (past and present). If I wasn't, I wouldn't be in them. Because without trust, you have nothing. I could be wrong, but I'm getting the feeling that a lot of these comments are coming from people who are not secure with themselves (not even their relationship), but themselves. If you can honestly say that women disgust you, do you love yourself? How could you and make a statement like that? Women are sexy, period. As a gender we just have more sex appeal than any male ever will. It's in our very essence.

I really just don't see the big deal. A healthy sexual appetite is good for the body, mind and soul and if indulging in fantasies is part of that, who are you to judge and say it's wrong?!



Holy crap, well said!
 

bAbY_cHiCkEn01

Well-known member
'Risa is completely right.. I agree with everything she says... how can you say its disgusting without thinking of yourself as disgusting, and for gods sake, I'm sorry, but why the hell is everyone getting so worked up about this??? I'm a strong believer in womans rights, and feeling empowered, especially against men, and the stereotypes an the way they get let off with everything whilst women bear all the crap! Strippers are people too, women at that, so those that are against it, maybe you should take a look at yourself ~ you're people with either low self esteem or aren't in 2006! These ladies are empowering, they accept their bodies for what they are (compared to a lot of people who diet and skinny themselves til they're disgusting, yet thats more okay than dancing!), they appreciate themselves, earn a decent living, but no they're not degrading themselves, they're not hoes, they're not getting paid to have sex (not saying theres anythging wrong with that), they dance and men pay to take a look, there is nothing wrong with that! These women know how to handle themselves and can teach people a lot about themselves... As I said these people are women so stop being like a 'man' and have some respect, and accept what they do, you don't have to like it but hey it's not you out there doing it, so grow up and accept that people do what they want to do! It's really none of your business...

I say good on ya girls who go and LOVE it, I've never been, but I'd love to...
 

lovemichelle

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by msthrope
just because someone doesn't go to strip clubs doesn't make them close-minded or boring. i know some seriously kinky people who don't do that.

I most defiantly am not boring. I don't need to be in strip clubs and clubs every night to be happy and having fun. I rather be with my boyfriend and get all the love I want at night then watch other people dance around and go home and go to bed. I'm not the type who see's men in porn or anything like that and goes yeah babe lets have sex now because they have totally turned me on. He turns me on and he knows that and the same goes for him. We have an amazing sex life and never once did we need to watch or see other people in order to make that happen. I don't care what other people do, but because I don't agree doesn't mean I'm close-minded or boring. I won't say anything about people thinking I'm anti-female because yeah I do have a great dislike for women. I never met a women I could trust nor have I met a women who I thought was upfront and honest. I'm the type of person who is going to tell you if you look like a slut or not. And shit if I look like that one day I rather someone tell me. My boyfriend was the one who changed the way I dressed. When I met him I wasn't all covered up, but by no means was I on stripper status. Dressing like a slut had nothing to do with strippers anyway because thats what they wear for "work" and lets hope they dress more casual on their off time. Dressing like a hoe or slut is some chick you see in Wal-Mart with her tits hanging out and ass cheeks flapping. There is no need for that. If you need to show off in order to feel good then I find it very sad. I used to show a little boob but I find men like me better now then before because I have respect for my body and myself. Men will respect a women who respects herself. That's why I think a lot of relationships go down the tubes. Women feel the need to show off their shit and be on other men so yeah your man is gonna treat you like a hoe if you act like one. Maybe you guys think showing your tits and ass is fine and dandy, but not from the way I was raised. If having respect for myself is boring that I rather stay that way.
 

lovemichelle

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by barbie_doll_713
Personally, I wouldn't approve of any guy I'm with going to a strip club. I'm more than happy to change it up with dress-up, wigs, etc. I love buying sexy and sometimes trashy lingerie to do a lil strip tease. But I feel like if a guy has to go look at other naked chicks (who are just getting paid to feign interest), when he has me at home to do it for him, then obviously theres a problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude. I've toyed with the idea of stripping. My ex said it best, "Why would I want to pay some girl to strip after she's been all over hundreds of guys when I have you right here?" However, I would be open to a trade-off! Like, you come to the guy strip club w/ me and then I'll go to the chick one. But often its one sided. The guys want their girlsfreinds at the strip club, but get grossed out at the thought of going to a male stripclub. Stupid double standard.

That's how my boyfriend is. All his co-workers are like come on let's party and he's like why do I wanna hang out with a bunch of dudes and nasty hoes when I can have fun with my girl everyday and get all the you know what I want.

The men strip clubs here in NY are nasty. I never been, but my mother and ex-friends have went. My mom said how one of the men stuck his meat all on some womens face. I find that to be uncalled for and nasty. You have no clue where these people been. That's why I find strip clubs and stuff to be nasty.
 
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