Is this true?

TamiChoi

Well-known member
Just wanted to share with some of you something that I've found...

For me, it's not true because I could careless about anyone else but my bf... but it really does make me think about my significant other and if it's true to him...

Situation is... maybe to him, she is the girl that got away, since she moved and they were in love
puke.gif
... %@^%%$#$@!

th_dunno.gif


Anyways how does this make you feel?


In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come . Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.
You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.
If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it.
Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?
Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be
"the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."
You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone.... "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away
 

aleksis210

Well-known member
Awww Honey! This is a horrible feeling to have...
ssad.gif
Well.... I'm not in this same situation, but imo no one should ever stay with someone if they aren't the one I understand certain people stay in certain relationships because they are 'stuck' but no one deserves to be lied to...what I mean is when you two talk does he tell you how much he loves you and how you are perfect for him and you're the "one" basically etc etc. I am a firm disbeliever in 'always having a soft spot or a spot in your heart' for someone(usually meaning the person who 'got away')...Just because they were in Love doesn't mean she was the one...or the one 'who got away' in this case...I am with my second boyfriend now...but I did everything with my ex..he was my first for everything, but it just didn't work out, we just weren't meant to be, BUT he is in no way 'the one who got away'...and I don't wish it would have worked out with him or want him back...because my boyfriend now is the most amazing person alive to me...and I'm sure your bf feels the same way about you...
 

TamiChoi

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleksis210
Awww Honey! This is a horrible feeling to have...
ssad.gif
Well.... I'm not in this same situation, but imo no one should ever stay with someone if they aren't the one I understand certain people stay in certain relationships because they are 'stuck' but no one deserves to be lied to...what I mean is when you two talk does he tell you how much he loves you and how you are perfect for him and you're the "one" basically etc etc. I am a firm disbeliever in 'always having a soft spot or a spot in your heart' for someone(usually meaning the person who 'got away')...Just because they were in Love doesn't mean she was the one...or the one 'who got away' in this case...I am with my second boyfriend now...but I did everything with my ex..he was my first for everything, but it just didn't work out, we just weren't meant to be, BUT he is in no way 'the one who got away'...and I don't wish it would have worked out with him or want him back...because my boyfriend now is the most amazing person alive to me...and I'm sure your bf feels the same way about you...


I feel the same as you, I don't care about anyone else but my bf
greengrin.gif
. I'm just wondering what he feels and if this would be true to him. He does tell me those things, but when we fight, he brings her up
angry.gif
so just maybe, he might feel this way...
th_dunno.gif
 

aleksis210

Well-known member
^Oh lordy if you could hear the things me and my bf bring up,during an argument.... lol..... you'd think we were nutso! I think it's best to sit down and maybe discuss this with him because when you are in a fight with someone and they bring certain things up, usually they say certain things because they know it'll make the other person very angry! I'm sure when you two argue you hurt his feelings , so he only wants to bring up that other girl to hurt yours back! I'm pretty good with not bringing up past things in an argument, but my boyfriend on the other hand will NEVER drop certain things (which is very unhealthy)...and immature...which all guys happen to be. Don't feel insecure! I'm very insecure as well and I sometimes can let my paranoia get the best of me...I'm sure he loves you so much! And if he can't help himself with bringing up that other girl during an argument or whenever you better make sure you act like it doesn't bother you! Otherwise he'll never stop...and if he doesn't stop...ask him if he's still in love with her...or better yet say ...see ya! (not literally, but just do it to see what he does! :p) But in all seriousness tell him how you feel! Boys are retarded..they can't read emotions if it was written on our faces! I hope I helped somewhat...Feel free to update..in a PM if you want...I've been through EVERYTHING in my relationship
oh.gif
:...so I know how hard times can be...
ssad.gif
 

TamiChoi

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleksis210
^Oh lordy if you could hear the things me and my bf bring up,during an argument.... lol..... you'd think we were nutso! I think it's best to sit down and maybe discuss this with him because when you are in a fight with someone and they bring certain things up, usually they say certain things because they know it'll make the other person very angry! I'm sure when you two argue you hurt his feelings , so he only wants to bring up that other girl to hurt yours back! I'm pretty good with not bringing up past things in an argument, but my boyfriend on the other hand will NEVER drop certain things (which is very unhealthy)...and immature...which all guys happen to be. Don't feel insecure! I'm very insecure as well and I sometimes can let my paranoia get the best of me...I'm sure he loves you so much! And if he can't help himself with bringing up that other girl during an argument or whenever you better make sure you act like it doesn't bother you! Otherwise he'll never stop...

lol. i hear you.
th_worship.gif
you're so right!
 

LadyFaenyx

Well-known member
I can't really relate.. my fiance, the love of my life, high school sweetheart, and complete soulmate... was/is my first love. I guess i'm lucky in that regard, I don't have a "one that got away". And neither does he. Since he didn't have any important relationships before me... hah.


Quote:
I feel the same as you, I don't care about anyone else but my bf . I'm just wondering what he feels and if this would be true to him. He does tell me those things, but when we fight, he brings her up so just maybe, he might feel this way...

You should definitely talk to him, he shouldn't be bringing up hurtful things like that, even if you're fighting. It's a low blow, subconsciously(or maybe even consciously) he knows it'll hurt you, so in the heat of the moment, he uses it like a weapon. That's never good. Things that are repeatedly brought up, in arguments, are things that need to be dealt with, because they're obviously lingering, waiting for the next fight when it can be brought up again.... know what I mean?
 

florabundance

Well-known member
hon, i wouldnt worry as much as you are. that article just offers a perspective. another perspective is that shit happens and relationships end BUT no two relationships are the same, and the love shared between the two people is completely different and unrelated. your bf may love or have loved this chick that moved away, but with you there is another kind of love and attraction that he saw in u only...
xxx
 

TamiChoi

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFaenyx
I can't really relate.. my fiance, the love of my life, high school sweetheart, and complete soulmate... was/is my first love. I guess i'm lucky in that regard, I don't have a "one that got away". And neither does he. Since he didn't have any important relationships before me... hah.




You should definitely talk to him, he shouldn't be bringing up hurtful things like that, even if you're fighting. It's a low blow, subconsciously(or maybe even consciously) he knows it'll hurt you, so in the heat of the moment, he uses it like a weapon. That's never good. Things that are repeatedly brought up, in arguments, are things that need to be dealt with, because they're obviously lingering, waiting for the next fight when it can be brought up again.... know what I mean?


lucky! i know what you mean!

Quote:
Originally Posted by florabundance
hon, i wouldnt worry as much as you are. that article just offers a perspective. another perspective is that shit happens and relationships end BUT no two relationships are the same, and the love shared between the two people is completely different and unrelated. your bf may love or have loved this chick that moved away, but with you there is another kind of love and attraction that he saw in u only...
xxx


true. thanks.
 

mizuki~

Well-known member
That is so shady of him to bring her up in an argument. Total cheap shot to piss you off. But you know what? it could be just that. Just a cheap weapon to hurt you and nothing more. And maybe you're just hella trippin. Don't let these nasty thoughts get to you. But still, talk to him about him bringing her up during arguments and shit and how much it hurts you. You guys been together for what a year? He should understand..
 

kimmy

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by florabundance
hon, i wouldnt worry as much as you are. that article just offers a perspective. another perspective is that shit happens and relationships end BUT no two relationships are the same, and the love shared between the two people is completely different and unrelated. your bf may love or have loved this chick that moved away, but with you there is another kind of love and attraction that he saw in u only...
xxx


ITA! there's alot of different kinds of love. there was this guy i had something with, but the timing wasn't right and neither of us were ready so we went our seperate ways. i still think about him sometimes, and i do love him. it's not the kind of love that will stop me from loving someone else though, because it isn't that way, you know?
 
Top