Jealousy with Boyfriend :(

[MACreation]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 3 months. He is AMAZING and I can't even begin to say how much. My only problem is lately, I have gotten a job where he works, and we don't see each other, I work in an office, him at the service station. There's a new girl working here. His age, has all the same likes as him ( I know cause we've become work buddies), younger than me, thinner than me. Basically I'm jealous I was that thin and sweet and cute once, but I grew up in the past few years (I'm 25, he's 22, so is she). Obviously, hello, bodies change, right? He loves my body, I am pretty thin, but not comfortable with it anymore. I have weight where I never used to, and feel self conscious about it. This is my first serious relationship, and I always get so scared of losing him, especially to another girl, or him getting sick of me. What can I do? I would appreciate any advice or anyone that can relate, thanks!

 

[Shimmer]

All you can do is be the best you you can be.
You can't control him, but if you give him your best, and he chooses to walk away, then you can hold your head high knowing that you did your best and were truthful and honest in the relationship.

 

[macface]

Yeah sometiimes I feel like that with my boyfriend.But i think every girl goes through this when having another female around.my boyfriend works with young people all diffrent department.Sometimes i think about it and I get all pissed of but then im just like whatever.I know what you feel.

 

[DaizyDeath]

Just beacuse you find her attractive doesnt mean he will. Plus alot of people like other people with different personalitys beacuse if they were with a person just like them it would get boring really quick.
Im shure he thinks your gorgeous now you just need to realize that.

 

[kaliraksha]

I don't think your "problem" is with the slight extra weight you've gained... but your thoughts on it. Seriously, let's face it... there are more attractive girls out there in the world... but you are probably the most beautiful woman in the world to him... and that's all that matters. I totally agree with Shimmer... the best you can do is be the best you. If he doesn't want that... then you don't want to be with him... you will find someone who wants to be with the best you... and even on days when you're not the best you he will stick around.

The only thing that will make this situation worse is loosing your confidence... if you start pointing things out or being affected by it... then he will notice that something is wrong or different and not many people want to stick around to constantly reassure someone.

If you are truly unhappy with your body (read: ME!!!) then do something for yourself. I've gained weight since I've been with my fiance... goodness... but being self conscious about it made me really grumpy and in turn our relationship suffered.

Chin up, you only see the sweet, cute side of her... she has baggage and hold ups like everyone else.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Unless he's flirting with this girl or seems suspicious, I wouldn't worry too much. He's with you for reasons that he isn't with that other girl; he may have a lot in common with this other girl, but it isn't going to equal romance, for whatever reasons. Not all guys like thin girls, either. For all you know, she thinks that she wishes she had a little weight on her (some thin girls really do wish they had some curves)!

I wouldn't let her presence eat you up. The most unattractive thing IMO is when people become insecure and jealous and handle it in ugly ways. You probably have a lot going for you. If he dumps you for another girl, he's probably a loser.

 

[girlstar]

I agree with what everyone else said. Try not to let it worry you - because jealousy isn't a good trait. Letting that come into your relationship could end up causing problems for you, which you don't want.

Just because they have the same interests doesn't mean he will want to date her.. opposites attract, remember? Obviously there are things about you that he loves very much. I don't think any guy would really want to date the female version of themselves

There's always going to be someone skinnier or prettier than us.. and there's nothing we can really do about it. If you really do feel down about gaining weight, then do something about it.

That's what I'm currently in the process of doing.. I gained quite a bit a few years ago when I got too comfy in a relationship, so now I'm making regular trips to the gym, and changing my eating habits.

Bottom line is, he's with you.. don't worry about other girls. For all you know, she's probably completely disinterested in him, or is in a long term relationship herself. Have fun, and just be happy to be with him.

 

[Shimmer]

Just a thought:

No matter how hot she is...no matter how thin she is...no matter how silky her hair or gorgeous her eyes or tight her body is...someone...somewhere...is sick of her shit.

 

[little teaser]

your boyfriend might no see her the way you do the reason i say this is because when i first meet my husband it seem like all of the girls that i knew and work with party with would flirt and almost threw there self at him i was like wtf of course i thought these girls were hot and i was in big trouble cause the competition was drop dead beautiful at first i was jealous but i didnt let it show and i would play even harder to get haha i dont know why but i did and you know he pick me to be with and could of been with whom ever he wanted,but then again maybe he didnt see them the way i did.. you see her as a threat he sees her as another pretty girl im sure he seen alot of them befor you but he pick and is with you..

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Just a thought: No matter how hot she is...no matter how thin she is...no matter how silky her hair or gorgeous her eyes or tight her body is...someone...somewhere...is sick of her shit.

Oh so true....so true...

 

[NutMeg]

Shimmer you make me laugh. That's great.

 

[MACreation]

You're all right. I love this boy to death, and everyday I dunno how he does it, I love him more. He always tells me how he's feeling, with everything in his life, and about me. I should have better confidence in him, and in myself. It's so hard, competition drives me crazy, especially knowing how some girls are these days. I should work out more too, since I don't at all anymore

It would make me feel great about my body

Tahnks so much for all your comments, I really appreciate your honesty, it really helped how I feel

 

[kimmy]

just be yourself, and if he doesn't stray, then you were meant to be. if he does, then it wasn't. i know how hard that kind of thing can be, trust me, but all you can do is be yourself. and if that isn't enough for him, it's his loss!