Long Distance Relationship Support Thread
- Thread starter NutMeg
- Start date
Temptasia
Well-known member
I didn't think I'd ever enter a thread like this, but I am glad you girls are here for each other and are sharing your experiences.
My name is Julie and I have been with my bf for 6 solid years. We met through a mutual friend and have been inseperable ever since. We went out for about 5 years before we decided to move in together. It was hard living with someone for the first time and it was pretty tough for at least 3 months. He had an addiction to World of Warcraft and it caused a lot of tension between us. He finally gave it up 6 months ago and things have been healthy and normal. 3 months ago, he quit his job to pursue side projects and work for himself. A few weeks ago, he decided to take up a job working in Alberta (Fort McMurray). He left this morning for his first shift of 10 days straight. He has the opportunity to work with his good friend, use his skills, and get paid really well. The catch is that he is up there for 10 days, and back in Vancouver for 4 days. Then back up there for 10 and so on. I know it's not as difficult as other LDRs where people don't see each other for months...but it's my first experience with this. I don't know how long this will last, but we are aiming for a year.
I am trying to be strong and assure him that he has my full support...eventhough I will struggle at first. I have to keep thinking forward and know that we've got a plan to stick to. We'd like to make it official in 2010 and we are more comfortable than ever to do so.
There are times where I felt we have both taken each other's company for granted and lose perspective and I know this coming year will definitely keep us real and test our love. I don't think there is a better time in my life for this. I know I couldn't have done it years ago, or years later if I have a family to take care of.
My name is Julie and I have been with my bf for 6 solid years. We met through a mutual friend and have been inseperable ever since. We went out for about 5 years before we decided to move in together. It was hard living with someone for the first time and it was pretty tough for at least 3 months. He had an addiction to World of Warcraft and it caused a lot of tension between us. He finally gave it up 6 months ago and things have been healthy and normal. 3 months ago, he quit his job to pursue side projects and work for himself. A few weeks ago, he decided to take up a job working in Alberta (Fort McMurray). He left this morning for his first shift of 10 days straight. He has the opportunity to work with his good friend, use his skills, and get paid really well. The catch is that he is up there for 10 days, and back in Vancouver for 4 days. Then back up there for 10 and so on. I know it's not as difficult as other LDRs where people don't see each other for months...but it's my first experience with this. I don't know how long this will last, but we are aiming for a year.
I am trying to be strong and assure him that he has my full support...eventhough I will struggle at first. I have to keep thinking forward and know that we've got a plan to stick to. We'd like to make it official in 2010 and we are more comfortable than ever to do so.
There are times where I felt we have both taken each other's company for granted and lose perspective and I know this coming year will definitely keep us real and test our love. I don't think there is a better time in my life for this. I know I couldn't have done it years ago, or years later if I have a family to take care of.
NutMeg
Well-known member
^He's working in the patch? Man, Fort Mac is such a hole, the only reason anyone lives there is for the money. I hear you on the 10/4 shifts, they kind of suck. My bf has done that before. It's tough, but it's doable. And hey, you get time to yourself! It's like having the best of being single and dating!
But hey, we're pretty similar geographically. I'm in Vancouver and my bf is in Grande Prairie.
But hey, we're pretty similar geographically. I'm in Vancouver and my bf is in Grande Prairie.
Cinci
Well-known member
Quote:
10 on 4 off is a decent schedule.. That's the type of schedule that my bf and i want..... Right now he's one of those guys who's gone for months at a time.. We want something like 10 on 4 off cause it's a nice schedule.. it allows you to plan for things.. You know when he'll be coming home, and when he'll be leaving.. I'm sure it will be hard at first, but it will get easier... And yea, after you don;t get to see him for 10 days.. you'll be so excited when you finally do!
Originally Posted by Temptasia
I didn't think I'd ever enter a thread like this, but I am glad you girls are here for each other and are sharing your experiences. My name is Julie and I have been with my bf for 6 solid years. We met through a mutual friend and have been inseperable ever since. We went out for about 5 years before we decided to move in together. It was hard living with someone for the first time and it was pretty tough for at least 3 months. He had an addiction to World of Warcraft and it caused a lot of tension between us. He finally gave it up 6 months ago and things have been healthy and normal. 3 months ago, he quit his job to pursue side projects and work for himself. A few weeks ago, he decided to take up a job working in Alberta (Fort McMurray). He left this morning for his first shift of 10 days straight. He has the opportunity to work with his good friend, use his skills, and get paid really well. The catch is that he is up there for 10 days, and back in Vancouver for 4 days. Then back up there for 10 and so on. I know it's not as difficult as other LDRs where people don't see each other for months...but it's my first experience with this. I don't know how long this will last, but we are aiming for a year. I am trying to be strong and assure him that he has my full support...eventhough I will struggle at first. I have to keep thinking forward and know that we've got a plan to stick to. We'd like to make it official in 2010 and we are more comfortable than ever to do so. There are times where I felt we have both taken each other's company for granted and lose perspective and I know this coming year will definitely keep us real and test our love. I don't think there is a better time in my life for this. I know I couldn't have done it years ago, or years later if I have a family to take care of.
|
10 on 4 off is a decent schedule.. That's the type of schedule that my bf and i want..... Right now he's one of those guys who's gone for months at a time.. We want something like 10 on 4 off cause it's a nice schedule.. it allows you to plan for things.. You know when he'll be coming home, and when he'll be leaving.. I'm sure it will be hard at first, but it will get easier... And yea, after you don;t get to see him for 10 days.. you'll be so excited when you finally do!
User93
Well-known member
Quote:
It all will be good! I'm one of those who havent seen my man in real life for months, but I do understand how tougfh it is. You are used to have him around, so I can imagine how it gets to you. I was waiting for my bf for 1 year, but after he came here and left first 2 weeks were so tough!
Its all tough for you now cause it's something new,. what you are not used to. He will start working, and soon you guys will work your very own "schedule", when you talk, call, e-mail, chat, and whatever! And you will be settled in this new enviroment.
You're great for supporting him. Try to do you best, cause imagine, thats tough for him too. And come on, 10 days or even 2 weeks are not THAT much honestly! It will pass soon, you will study, work, hang with family (which is great, but we sometimes have no time for it)? and then *puff* 10 days are over.
Also, you can use webcams! You can make him surprises, write letters, send packs, go make him a surprise and wait for him in hot lingerie at his place see him at his place!
I think thats a great thing that you say that "maybe you were taking each other for granted", maybe this experience and challenge will only be good for your relationship to start enjoyning precious moments together!
It gonna be fine!
| Originally Posted by Temptasia
I didn't think I'd ever enter a thread like this, but I am glad you girls are here for each other and are sharing your experiences. My name is Julie and I have been with my bf for 6 solid years. We met through a mutual friend and have been inseperable ever since. We went out for about 5 years before we decided to move in together. It was hard living with someone for the first time and it was pretty tough for at least 3 months. He had an addiction to World of Warcraft and it caused a lot of tension between us. He finally gave it up 6 months ago and things have been healthy and normal. 3 months ago, he quit his job to pursue side projects and work for himself. A few weeks ago, he decided to take up a job working in Alberta (Fort McMurray). He left this morning for his first shift of 10 days straight. He has the opportunity to work with his good friend, use his skills, and get paid really well. The catch is that he is up there for 10 days, and back in Vancouver for 4 days. Then back up there for 10 and so on. I know it's not as difficult as other LDRs where people don't see each other for months...but it's my first experience with this. I don't know how long this will last, but we are aiming for a year. I am trying to be strong and assure him that he has my full support...eventhough I will struggle at first. I have to keep thinking forward and know that we've got a plan to stick to. We'd like to make it official in 2010 and we are more comfortable than ever to do so. There are times where I felt we have both taken each other's company for granted and lose perspective and I know this coming year will definitely keep us real and test our love. I don't think there is a better time in my life for this. I know I couldn't have done it years ago, or years later if I have a family to take care of.
|
It all will be good! I'm one of those who havent seen my man in real life for months, but I do understand how tougfh it is. You are used to have him around, so I can imagine how it gets to you. I was waiting for my bf for 1 year, but after he came here and left first 2 weeks were so tough!
Its all tough for you now cause it's something new,. what you are not used to. He will start working, and soon you guys will work your very own "schedule", when you talk, call, e-mail, chat, and whatever! And you will be settled in this new enviroment.
You're great for supporting him. Try to do you best, cause imagine, thats tough for him too. And come on, 10 days or even 2 weeks are not THAT much honestly! It will pass soon, you will study, work, hang with family (which is great, but we sometimes have no time for it)? and then *puff* 10 days are over.
Also, you can use webcams! You can make him surprises, write letters, send packs, go make him a surprise and wait for him in hot lingerie at his place see him at his place!
I think thats a great thing that you say that "maybe you were taking each other for granted", maybe this experience and challenge will only be good for your relationship to start enjoyning precious moments together!
It gonna be fine!
airplane_girl
Well-known member
Quote:
I've heard about WOW. The hubby was thinking about getting it and I knew better and refused to let him get it. I know a guy who spends all day and night playing it. He was the one who told me not to let him get it. I can't believe how addicting it is for those who play.
| Originally Posted by Temptasia
I didn't think I'd ever enter a thread like this, but I am glad you girls are here for each other and are sharing your experiences. My name is Julie and I have been with my bf for 6 solid years. We met through a mutual friend and have been inseperable ever since. We went out for about 5 years before we decided to move in together. It was hard living with someone for the first time and it was pretty tough for at least 3 months. He had an addiction to World of Warcraft and it caused a lot of tension between us. He finally gave it up 6 months ago and things have been healthy and normal. 3 months ago, he quit his job to pursue side projects and work for himself. A few weeks ago, he decided to take up a job working in Alberta (Fort McMurray). He left this morning for his first shift of 10 days straight. He has the opportunity to work with his good friend, use his skills, and get paid really well. The catch is that he is up there for 10 days, and back in Vancouver for 4 days. Then back up there for 10 and so on. I know it's not as difficult as other LDRs where people don't see each other for months...but it's my first experience with this. I don't know how long this will last, but we are aiming for a year. I am trying to be strong and assure him that he has my full support...eventhough I will struggle at first. I have to keep thinking forward and know that we've got a plan to stick to. We'd like to make it official in 2010 and we are more comfortable than ever to do so. There are times where I felt we have both taken each other's company for granted and lose perspective and I know this coming year will definitely keep us real and test our love. I don't think there is a better time in my life for this. I know I couldn't have done it years ago, or years later if I have a family to take care of.
|
I've heard about WOW. The hubby was thinking about getting it and I knew better and refused to let him get it. I know a guy who spends all day and night playing it. He was the one who told me not to let him get it. I can't believe how addicting it is for those who play.
airplane_girl
Well-known member
so here's my story....we have been a couple for 6 years and 2 years of that we have been married. We have lived together for 2 years ( all in couple months increments). We live togther now but don't spend as much time together as I hoped we would. He is in the military and gets sent off for training or deployed for a month or months at a time. Being apart has taught us not to take each other for granted. I believe going through this has made our relationship stronger.
airplane_girl
Well-known member
Quote:
I couldn't stand to watch the news when he was in Iraq. Getting to talk to him once a week for 15 mins was the hardest.. I was always paranoid that I would miss his call.
So true your love for someone always overcomes those kind of obstacles.
| Originally Posted by Temptasia
I respect the wives of military men...I am not sure if I would have the strength to endure, but you find a way when you love someone right? I think it is especially hard when there is a real element of danger. |
I couldn't stand to watch the news when he was in Iraq. Getting to talk to him once a week for 15 mins was the hardest.. I was always paranoid that I would miss his call.
So true your love for someone always overcomes those kind of obstacles.
preciouscharm
Well-known member
Quote:
We are on that thing 24/7!! Gah I love technology or else I'd be going crazie.
| Originally Posted by Cinci
Yes, I agree! My boyfriend and I have webcam dinner dates.. We try and get dinner from the same restaurants, and set up our webcams and talk and have dinner together.. It's something we always look forward to! |
We are on that thing 24/7!! Gah I love technology or else I'd be going crazie.
preciouscharm
Well-known member
Here's my story!!
Chapter 1: I met my hubby my sophomore year of highschool. My first two years of highschool were my major rebellion stages, but I slowly realized by the end of my first semester of my sophomore year. Then a month later who perfectly comes along... but my wonderful bf!! After me always getting in trouble with from before, they were extremely strict on me. But something made me push to introduce him anyways, he's the first bf I ever introduced as my bf and not lie saying he was only a friend.
Chapter 2: A year later he decides to go to join the Air Force, stationed in CA, and there he goes leaving me gosh. We've been together for a little over 4 years, 3 of those years he's been stationed in CA. Within the first couple months into the AirForce he gets notice to be sent to Japan for 2 years
(this is his dream vacation ladies!!), but turned it down just so he could stay in the coutry for me. My senior year of high school I get accepted into a great school in CA AND a great school in FL. I decide to stay in FL because of expenses. Oh and not once did we think wecouldn't work this whole situation out.
Chapter 3: So technically we only see each other twice a year if we are lucky. I go there every summer for a month and he comes home for xmas. I'm studying at my university for pre-med and hoping to go to med school in CA. I've a year and a half left and he's got 3 more years in the service.
He's really been with me through everything, we are each other's best friends, and no matter how far he is he seems to be the only one who supports me no question. I don't ever feel so alone! The only thing we really argue about is when we stress about the future; when am I going there, what I have to go to get there as far as grades/MCATs/ and getting into med school.
I could go on forever and ever but I gotta stop somewhere. Keep coming with those stories!!!!! I<3 u guys!
Chapter 1: I met my hubby my sophomore year of highschool. My first two years of highschool were my major rebellion stages, but I slowly realized by the end of my first semester of my sophomore year. Then a month later who perfectly comes along... but my wonderful bf!! After me always getting in trouble with from before, they were extremely strict on me. But something made me push to introduce him anyways, he's the first bf I ever introduced as my bf and not lie saying he was only a friend.
Chapter 2: A year later he decides to go to join the Air Force, stationed in CA, and there he goes leaving me gosh. We've been together for a little over 4 years, 3 of those years he's been stationed in CA. Within the first couple months into the AirForce he gets notice to be sent to Japan for 2 years
Chapter 3: So technically we only see each other twice a year if we are lucky. I go there every summer for a month and he comes home for xmas. I'm studying at my university for pre-med and hoping to go to med school in CA. I've a year and a half left and he's got 3 more years in the service.
He's really been with me through everything, we are each other's best friends, and no matter how far he is he seems to be the only one who supports me no question. I don't ever feel so alone! The only thing we really argue about is when we stress about the future; when am I going there, what I have to go to get there as far as grades/MCATs/ and getting into med school.
I could go on forever and ever but I gotta stop somewhere. Keep coming with those stories!!!!! I<3 u guys!
preciouscharm
Well-known member
Quote:
just curious how long does he plan to stay in the military? Mine doesn't know yet if he should sign up for more years or not.
| Originally Posted by airplane_girl
so here's my story....we have been a couple for 6 years and 2 years of that we have been married. We have lived together for 2 years ( all in couple months increments). We live togther now but don't spend as much time together as I hoped we would. He is in the military and gets sent off for training or deployed for a month or months at a time. Being apart has taught us not to take each other for granted. I believe going through this has made our relationship stronger. |
just curious how long does he plan to stay in the military? Mine doesn't know yet if he should sign up for more years or not.
airplane_girl
Well-known member
Quote:
He just finished his six year term this past August and has re-enlisted for 3 more years. He has been talking about doing the whole 20 years... but he has his BA degree and gonna start working on his Masters. I'm hoping he will actually use it for a regular job outside of the Military. But he loves what he does in the Air Force.
| Originally Posted by preciouscharm
just curious how long does he plan to stay in the military? Mine doesn't know yet if he should sign up for more years or not. |
He just finished his six year term this past August and has re-enlisted for 3 more years. He has been talking about doing the whole 20 years... but he has his BA degree and gonna start working on his Masters. I'm hoping he will actually use it for a regular job outside of the Military. But he loves what he does in the Air Force.
airplane_girl
Well-known member
Quote:
aww thanks your so sweet
lol I just talked to the hubby and I told him that I went to the outlets today because I just found out they had a cco there so I wanted to check it out he laughs and says you and your makeup.
He still won't let me practice my makeup technique on him.
| Originally Posted by NutMeg
Props to you military ladies, that stuff is hard. 
|
aww thanks your so sweet
lol I just talked to the hubby and I told him that I went to the outlets today because I just found out they had a cco there so I wanted to check it out he laughs and says you and your makeup.
He still won't let me practice my makeup technique on him.
sweetbabyblue
Well-known member
Quote:
I had a similar problem to Temptasia, my bf got too involved in his game and he would hardly talk to me for days because he was 'committed to his guild'. It was annoying because it was hard enough being long distance and the only time i did have with him was more like competing with his attention with a computer game.
Eventually I had to have a long talk to him about it and he doesnt play anymore. I hated doing that though because I feel like i've just banned him from what he likes doing, even though i didn't say 'no you cant play anymore!', I just told him how I felt and I feel like he kinda resents sarcrificing the game for me (it was his decision) *sigh*
| Originally Posted by airplane_girl
I've heard about WOW. The hubby was thinking about getting it and I knew better and refused to let him get it. I know a guy who spends all day and night playing it. He was the one who told me not to let him get it. I can't believe how addicting it is for those who play. |
I had a similar problem to Temptasia, my bf got too involved in his game and he would hardly talk to me for days because he was 'committed to his guild'. It was annoying because it was hard enough being long distance and the only time i did have with him was more like competing with his attention with a computer game.
Eventually I had to have a long talk to him about it and he doesnt play anymore. I hated doing that though because I feel like i've just banned him from what he likes doing, even though i didn't say 'no you cant play anymore!', I just told him how I felt and I feel like he kinda resents sarcrificing the game for me (it was his decision) *sigh*
User93
Well-known member
Quote:
Ohhh thats so sweet!
Quote:
Me too! Webcams are great! I "meet" with my bf every evening and we just talk, or if we are busy we do things together in cam! If both have a lot of stuff to do, we just stay in cam and study both, he does his stuff and I do mine and time to time we talk and support each other!
| Originally Posted by Cinci
Yes, I agree! My boyfriend and I have webcam dinner dates.. We try and get dinner from the same restaurants, and set up our webcams and talk and have dinner together.. It's something we always look forward to! |
Ohhh thats so sweet!
Quote:
| Originally Posted by preciouscharm
We are on that thing 24/7!! Gah I love technology or else I'd be going crazie. |
Me too! Webcams are great! I "meet" with my bf every evening and we just talk, or if we are busy we do things together in cam! If both have a lot of stuff to do, we just stay in cam and study both, he does his stuff and I do mine and time to time we talk and support each other!
User93
Well-known member
Quote:
It's a very sweet story! I know how hard is seeing each other 2 times a year only
, but as you said in the other thread, it's only 1,5 left. ONLY year and a half. Its a long time, but you've already waited way longer.
The most important thing is that you are best friends & keep supporting each other. It all will be good!
Awww I <3 you too ladies
| Originally Posted by preciouscharm
Here's my story!! Chapter 1: I met my hubby my sophomore year of highschool. My first two years of highschool were my major rebellion stages, but I slowly realized by the end of my first semester of my sophomore year. Then a month later who perfectly comes along... but my wonderful bf!! After me always getting in trouble with from before, they were extremely strict on me. But something made me push to introduce him anyways, he's the first bf I ever introduced as my bf and not lie saying he was only a friend. Chapter 2: A year later he decides to go to join the Air Force, stationed in CA, and there he goes leaving me gosh. We've been together for a little over 4 years, 3 of those years he's been stationed in CA. Within the first couple months into the AirForce he gets notice to be sent to Japan for 2 years
Chapter 3: So technically we only see each other twice a year if we are lucky. I go there every summer for a month and he comes home for xmas. I'm studying at my university for pre-med and hoping to go to med school in CA. I've a year and a half left and he's got 3 more years in the service. He's really been with me through everything, we are each other's best friends, and no matter how far he is he seems to be the only one who supports me no question. I don't ever feel so alone! The only thing we really argue about is when we stress about the future; when am I going there, what I have to go to get there as far as grades/MCATs/ and getting into med school. I could go on forever and ever but I gotta stop somewhere. Keep coming with those stories!!!!! I<3 u guys! |
It's a very sweet story! I know how hard is seeing each other 2 times a year only
The most important thing is that you are best friends & keep supporting each other. It all will be good!
Awww I <3 you too ladies
