souraznhunnie
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Need advice about an abused child
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bAbY_cHiCkEn01
Well-known member
Could you or would you take him into your home for a little while? This lil' boy needs something done and fast because god only knows what he's gonna turn out to be like in years to come... could you go to social services or something? What does your bf think of him, as in would he really care if he went somwhere else, would he mind him staying with you guys? Is there any other family members who would take him? I'd definitely tell the teacher, definitely. I think the teacher would have to report it if they can visibly see the problems themselves and his "intelligence" goes downwards ie his learning capability... I do sugest doing all you can because right now he must feel very unloved... has he been medically tested for add and such, maybe thats why he's always in everyones faces etc... If you believe it, then you need to tell this lil' boy that this isn't his fault...
here_is_gone_88
Well-known member
What does your boyfriend think about this..and I guess when you really think about it this childs future should be put first. I would talk to the childs teacher and get this child a good support system.
user4
New member
Quote:
i def agree, first off when you were describing him, he has a lot of signs of ADHD so he should be maybe taking meds for that, it would calm him down a lot... his acting up could also be a result of the way he is being treating... when getting abused some kids tend to be quiet and to themselves, other kids act up even more for attention (reguardless if it is good attn or bad attn such as hitting and yelling)... i think you should tell the teacher, have you tried talking to your bf's mom about it, some parents try not to see what's going on around them until they are told. i think you should definitly talk to the family first or tell your boyfriend to speak to his family about it and if that doesn't work you will have no choice but to report it. he needs to be treated better... both physically and emotionally. he's still young so the situation can be fixed but he could seriously be scarred for life if he continues to grow up in that type of environment.
| Originally Posted by cookie_monsta2504 Could you or would you take him into your home for a little while? This lil' boy needs something done and fast because god only knows what he's gonna turn out to be like in years to come... could you go to social services or something? What does your bf think of him, as in would he really care if he went somwhere else, would he mind him staying with you guys? Is there any other family members who would take him? I'd definitely tell the teacher, definitely. I think the teacher would have to report it if they can visibly see the problems themselves and his "intelligence" goes downwards ie his learning capability... I do sugest doing all you can because right now he must feel very unloved... has he been medically tested for add and such, maybe thats why he's always in everyones faces etc... If you believe it, then you need to tell this lil' boy that this isn't his fault... |
i def agree, first off when you were describing him, he has a lot of signs of ADHD so he should be maybe taking meds for that, it would calm him down a lot... his acting up could also be a result of the way he is being treating... when getting abused some kids tend to be quiet and to themselves, other kids act up even more for attention (reguardless if it is good attn or bad attn such as hitting and yelling)... i think you should tell the teacher, have you tried talking to your bf's mom about it, some parents try not to see what's going on around them until they are told. i think you should definitly talk to the family first or tell your boyfriend to speak to his family about it and if that doesn't work you will have no choice but to report it. he needs to be treated better... both physically and emotionally. he's still young so the situation can be fixed but he could seriously be scarred for life if he continues to grow up in that type of environment.
souraznhunnie
Well-known member
You know what, I've always thought that he may have ADD or ADHD too. Well, see "Timmy" lives with everyone that I described so my bf is still living with him too. And it's hard to talk to my bf about it because he might get mad or not say anything at all because he knows I'm telling the truth. Whenever I DO try to talk to my bf about it, he usually just stays quiet because I don't think he wants to believe it or it just goes through one ear and out the other. Even my bf yells and screams at him and I get so pissed off at him and start lecturing him he shouldn't be doing that IN HIS FACE. The worst thing is that sometimes Timmy is so out of control, that even I can't stand him sometimes whenever i go there. And no, there's no way I could take him into my home....I'm still living with my family.
Oh, and the mother knows about everything going on. She is NOT a fit mother. I've already lost a whole lot of respect for her and their whole family over other things. Even my bf's friends KNOW that Timmy isn't taken good care of by everyone else. Timmy's father's relatives live close by and sometimes they take him there to stay for a few days and Timmy's mom would be like "oh, let's leave him there longer"....I know the reason why his siblings treat him awful is because they WON'T get in trouble by their mom about it because the mom doesn't give a sh*t about him either. The way I see it is that they all probably wish he wasn't born, but can't do anything about it but to "watch him".
Yea, I know it's the RIGHT thing to do to at least tell his teacher about it or report it to social services, but for me, being in this position, it's just so HARD for me...I would feel like I'm betraying my BF, u know? It's not like they treat him like this everyday (and I know that's NO excuse). A friend suggested I should tape or record whenever they are being so cruel to him and then have that as evidence.
Well, I think what i WILL do for starters is talk to my bf about it and let him know I am SERIOUS about it. I know Timmy is taking lots of medications but I think they are for his skin and such, but who knows, MAYBE he does have some sort of ADD and my bf is embarassed to tell me? Thanks everyone, and I will update later when I find out more things.
Oh, and the mother knows about everything going on. She is NOT a fit mother. I've already lost a whole lot of respect for her and their whole family over other things. Even my bf's friends KNOW that Timmy isn't taken good care of by everyone else. Timmy's father's relatives live close by and sometimes they take him there to stay for a few days and Timmy's mom would be like "oh, let's leave him there longer"....I know the reason why his siblings treat him awful is because they WON'T get in trouble by their mom about it because the mom doesn't give a sh*t about him either. The way I see it is that they all probably wish he wasn't born, but can't do anything about it but to "watch him".
Yea, I know it's the RIGHT thing to do to at least tell his teacher about it or report it to social services, but for me, being in this position, it's just so HARD for me...I would feel like I'm betraying my BF, u know? It's not like they treat him like this everyday (and I know that's NO excuse). A friend suggested I should tape or record whenever they are being so cruel to him and then have that as evidence.
Well, I think what i WILL do for starters is talk to my bf about it and let him know I am SERIOUS about it. I know Timmy is taking lots of medications but I think they are for his skin and such, but who knows, MAYBE he does have some sort of ADD and my bf is embarassed to tell me? Thanks everyone, and I will update later when I find out more things.
user3
New member
The feelings that have building up after reading make me hurt for "Timmy".
You can report things without you being brought into the problem.
You must tell someone! Honestly, if you feel it will ruin the relationship you have with your BF just don't let him know you told. Usually I wouldn't say this but that poor little boy is getting abused in so many ways and it's down right heartbreaking.
If you don't want to tell someone about it please PM me with the info and I will call. No one deserves to be treated that way!!
You can report things without you being brought into the problem.
You must tell someone! Honestly, if you feel it will ruin the relationship you have with your BF just don't let him know you told. Usually I wouldn't say this but that poor little boy is getting abused in so many ways and it's down right heartbreaking.
If you don't want to tell someone about it please PM me with the info and I will call. No one deserves to be treated that way!!
pumpkincat210
Well-known member
Quote:
Yes, you can do it anonymously! This is heartbreaking, but since you are sure you should definately report it. He doesn't deserve it even if he has adhd!
| Originally Posted by 'Nessa The feelings that have building up after reading make me hurt for "Timmy". You can report things without you being brought into the problem. You must tell someone! Honestly, if you feel it will ruin the relationship you have with your BF just don't let him know you told. Usually I wouldn't say this but that poor little boy is getting abused in so many ways and it's down right heartbreaking. If you don't want to tell someone about it please PM me with the info and I will call. No one deserves to be treated that way!! |
Yes, you can do it anonymously! This is heartbreaking, but since you are sure you should definately report it. He doesn't deserve it even if he has adhd!
kaliraksha
Well-known member
I agree with the ladies on here... I would talk to your boyfriend without letting him know of any actions you plan to take or want to take... just get his ideas/concerns from him first. If you both agree it needs to be stopped then maybe you can do something together, which would be ideal to get support from someone in his family. If not, then report it annoymously... don't feel bad about being bothered by "Timmy's" behavior-- I think a lot of people when they have a "problem child" aren't prepared for that kind of thing and it takes special care, learning, classes, books, whatever it takes to make you understand that as fustrated as you get... the child is the one who is ultimately more fustrated. You might help start the ball on a great change for that mother, sometimes you can just lose sight of what's important... if you don't- at least you got some help for this little kid who needs and deserves more attention than he's getting.
My little brother is ADHD and my other little brother isn't. Trust me, the one with ADHD needs a lot more attention than my other little brother- it just takes special care and lots of patience.
My little brother is ADHD and my other little brother isn't. Trust me, the one with ADHD needs a lot more attention than my other little brother- it just takes special care and lots of patience.
Vicky88
Well-known member
I think you have to get in contact with someone, that behaviour is disgusting. People shouldn't have children if they're not willing to look after them and put up with the way they're going to behave. I know this is your boyfriends family, but they don't deserve to keep this child and they deserve to be punished.
I would advise you to report them, I don't really know who to because I'm in the UK, but if you have something like Childline or RSPCC PLEASE get in contact with them because this is unacceptable and you don't know where it will stop. One day something a lot more serious could happen to Timmy and you wouldn't have stopped it.
Sorry if I soundd a bit harsh, but I have a little brother (he's only 1, but whatever) and the thought of hurting him in anyway is almost bringing me to tears and I just think that there's no excuse for what they're doing.
However, I would advise you to talk to your bf about it first, don't go behind his back or do anything without telling him and do it together. Good luck! xx
I would advise you to report them, I don't really know who to because I'm in the UK, but if you have something like Childline or RSPCC PLEASE get in contact with them because this is unacceptable and you don't know where it will stop. One day something a lot more serious could happen to Timmy and you wouldn't have stopped it.
Sorry if I soundd a bit harsh, but I have a little brother (he's only 1, but whatever) and the thought of hurting him in anyway is almost bringing me to tears and I just think that there's no excuse for what they're doing.
However, I would advise you to talk to your bf about it first, don't go behind his back or do anything without telling him and do it together. Good luck! xx
joytheobscure
Well-known member
Sounds like some of my students.... I have the "so-called" emotionally disturbed students- some of them truly are but so many of my kids on my caseload (I teach special ed. with mental retardation/ED) -are just products of serious neglect or bad parenting and are acting out emotionally because their needs aren't being met at home or they were raised with no structure and no discipline. BUT there are those who have really "together" parents and the children does have a serious mental/emotional problem or mental retardation which can cause problems in adaptive behavior and social skills.
I think I woulnd't be worried so much about his diet if he's getting school lunch and breakfast then nutritionally he is probably ok. But the hitting a kid on the face is uncalled for or throwing him around. The mom needs some parenting skills with him. I think kids that are hard to deal with - attention behavior problems are hard for everyone but siblings aren't the people to deal with him. As far as expressing concern to the teacher I'm sure she /he already knows it. I mean - most teachers talk about their problem kids and know about those situations but the teachers I work with also have serious concerns about what kind of foster care there is out there.
You can report the mom to social services yourself and express your concern. It might make the parent become aware of how he is being treated. I have a five year old son who is just a pure joy to me (most of the time,) I can't imagine anyone mistreating a baby like that.
I think I woulnd't be worried so much about his diet if he's getting school lunch and breakfast then nutritionally he is probably ok. But the hitting a kid on the face is uncalled for or throwing him around. The mom needs some parenting skills with him. I think kids that are hard to deal with - attention behavior problems are hard for everyone but siblings aren't the people to deal with him. As far as expressing concern to the teacher I'm sure she /he already knows it. I mean - most teachers talk about their problem kids and know about those situations but the teachers I work with also have serious concerns about what kind of foster care there is out there.
You can report the mom to social services yourself and express your concern. It might make the parent become aware of how he is being treated. I have a five year old son who is just a pure joy to me (most of the time,) I can't imagine anyone mistreating a baby like that.
koolkatz
Well-known member
I know this was posted a while ago, but I hope something came out of it. You can always report the family to Child Protective Services anonymously. He is experiencing physical and emotional maltreatment, not to mention neglect. The earlier you can intervene with these kids, the better. I'm talking infinitely exponentially better. In fact, this is what my dissertation will be about (not specifically - how and when best to intervene with maltreated kids).
*hugs* Hope this all turned/turns out ok...relatively...
*hugs* Hope this all turned/turns out ok...relatively...
