Oh brother..

[Ruby_Woo]

Hey ladies, I usually try to keep my personal stuff to myself, but I just have to vent.

Ok, so my brother and I use to be very close, super close. He was my best friend, and we covered for each other and usually had each others backs. My mom was in the hospital once and I got in an arguement w/ her over him cus I took his side (yeah stupid me I learned though) cus thats how close we were.

Well fast forward to now, we don't talk. At all. He got married (as did I) but he just drifted away from the family. He doesn't talk to ANYONE in my family. I was the only one he would talk to but not anymore. It sucks because Im nice to him and all, and he'll randomly talk to me and I give up my front and talk to him like nothing, then he just stops.

Well, when he use to live w/ my mom in 06-07 he is when he started acting weird, and slowly drifting from us, he only talks to his now wife and her family. I don't know why! We did everything we could for him, but he never reciprocated the same affection to us.

Well 2 weeks ago he got in touch with me (after a whole year of no communication mind you, he stopped talking to me cus he wanted to argue over who had the best lashes.. yeah lame) anyway.. He started talking to me, and ofcourse I was all about it like an idiot.. my mom told me to be careful..he was sending me pictures of my niece (who I only met the day she was born and never again) and he was being super nice and stuff.. then before like 3 days later, he tells me "hey I'll get u into this credit union thats really good, but its by referal only" and i was like yeah! cool! cus I've heard great things, but its hard to get in.. well here was the catch. He wanted me to co-sign him for a $15k loan! wtf?? I've never had a loan and my credit cards that I have (3) if you add the limit it barely makes 1,200. Well I said "sorry bro I can't, Ill help you w/ anything, just not that" cus u know, I have my own family and if ever I need a loan I would do it for MY family. And then he was just like "Ok thanks then" I didn't know if he was mad, and I asked him if we were still hanging out w/ the kids on thursday and he just replied NO. he deleted me off of BBM and stuff.

I mean wtf? It makes me sad that my own brother only wanted to use me. And whats more he was lying to me, he said he could take me off the loan in 6 months, and thats not true. We ended up qualifying for that same credit union through my husbands work, and I asked if its true you can get taken off, and she said only if he qualified for the loan on his own then yes, if he needed a co-signer (which he did) then there was no way. Can u imagine? he stops talking to me and stops paying and I end up w/ a 15k debt! Money that I wouldn't see a penny of??

I dunno where Im going with this, but I just really needed to tell someone other than myself. It hurts though you know? He's changed so much I barely recognize him. He is always all about money, money money money. thats all he wants money and cars. He wishes to have like some sort of high status life and he was living outside his means so thats why his credit sucks.

Yeah thanks to anyone who read this. I just neede to get it out, cus it bugs me and I act like Im over it, but I don't think I am.

Oh and he has this thing for the past 3 years that he stops talking to me right before holidays and our bdays which are the day after the other. I gave him a Christmas gift and bday present and that same day he'll find a reason to fight me and not feel obligated to give me anything. I don't even want anything but he thinks otherwise.

Yeah sorry for the rant. again thanks to whoever read it

 

[nunu]

I am so sorry that he's behaving like this. What he did to you is mean.
I hope someday he will relise that he is being wrong

 

[joey444]

How old is your brother?? He's acting extremely selfish and immature towards you and your family! My brother is the same and it's so sad...he totally messed up my mom's credit, he owes me $2,500 and he tries to manipulate anyone into getting his way. He's been really good lately though so I'm thinking he's FINALLY starting to grow up (he's 28) and accept responsibility.

I'm sorry you feel taken advantage of, specially by your brother....

 

[Ruby_Woo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joey444 How old is your brother?? He's acting extremely selfish and immature towards you and your family! My brother is the same and it's so sad...he totally messed up my mom's credit, he owes me $2,500 and he tries to manipulate anyone into getting his way. He's been really good lately though so I'm thinking he's FINALLY starting to grow up (he's 28) and accept responsibility. I'm sorry you feel taken advantage of, specially by your brother....

He is only 21. And yeah he did the same to my mom. When they lived together he only payed her rent like twice, and she had to pawn her stuff to get the money for the rent. He left one night in the middle of the night and never talked to her again, she told him that my siblings wouldn't have a place to live if he didn't like help my mom with the rent and he said "he didn't care that my siblings weren't his responsability" yeah.

I thoght once he had his daughter, he would understand you know? cus thats when I saw the light. I had my son and words weren't enough to apologize to my mom and tell her how THANKFUL I am for all she did. But I dunno, maybe its not the same for guys.

Im glad your brother is coming around though! I hope that happens w/ mine too, just much sooner than 7yrs.. :/

 

[makeup_wh0re]

Sad but there have been times in my life where I couldn't even trust my parents and they ruined my credit already the time I was 19. Now I have a son and I can't even get a credit card because of this. It stings so bad when your family does you wrong, because they are the ones that are supposed to be there no matter what. You could maybe talk to his wife about being able to see your niece, but as far as him, you can't make someone be a good person. I am sorry that you are going through this.

 

[kariii]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, My sister is manipulative too. She will find reasons to fight with me for no reason. She even gets jealous if I see my mom and hang out, she throws a fit.. and mind you I live two hours away from home while she lives with my mom.


I hope everything turns out okay for you , he has to grow up one day, right?

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Wow, I'm sorry your brother is like this and that this is happening to you. It's tough considering in our minds families are always suppose to be really tight and close and there for each other. But it's not a perfect world and sometimes we have to accept and realize that someones our family members for a lack of better term- suck.

I know it hurts and it must be upsetting. But what can you do? You've tried reconnecting with him to have a relationship again. He chose to communicate with you again for the wrong reasons and to be manipulative. It's his loss, if he doesn't want to involve such a great person whose his own sister into his life. Be thankful that you've got someone great like your mom who has stuck by you. It just makes the relationship even more special!

 

[nursee81]

Sorry to hear this about your brother. But things happen for a reason what the reason is I don't know. I haven't talked to my brother or my mother in almost a year, they are just stupid and I have a family and I can't be around stupid People. Girl don't worry it will all work out.

 

[cupcake_x]

*Sends you a huge e-hug*

I'm so sorry you're going through this. That's terrible, especially from a family member you were once so close to.

Do you think maybe his wife is the one telling him to stay away from you all? Like a control thing?

 

[Ruby_Woo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cupcake_x *Sends you a huge e-hug* I'm so sorry you're going through this. That's terrible, especially from a family member you were once so close to. Do you think maybe his wife is the one telling him to stay away from you all? Like a control thing?

Thanks everyone for your replies!

No dude, I think its just him on his own. Because I've hung out with her before and she is super cool. But he has lied to her about our family. Like he literally made my mom out to be a monster to her and then I told her the truth about what happened, and she was shocked.

But yeah.

I hope he grows up soon. It just sucks cus I don't get to see my niece and he only talks to me when he needs something

 

[cupcake_x]

Oh man...

Well I hope things get better for you soon. <3

 

[DirtyPlum]

ugh. I am going through a pretty identical thing!

There is so much tension with my family at the mo, cos of the behaviour of my brother and his evil evil wife.
She has polluted his mind and he has drifted away from all of us (mum, dad, sisters) and whats worse, he believes everything his wife says even though you would think he knows us better cos errr, he has grown up with us.

It hurts cos me and him were tight but she has put a stop to that and he has said some pretty mean things to us all. My mum is pretty cut up about it cos we have seen him change and weaken...

We now know that we will have very little to do with him.

I know a few more cases of drifting brothers and have come to the conclusion that some of them are just incapable of maintaining a number of r'ships at the same time.

Sorry to hear you are going through a similar thing and I hope in time he grows up and realises his loss.

 

[terramishu]

Aw

Hugs!!!

I know how it feels when you're really close to a brother. I love my bro very much.

I found the sudden change really odd. Could it be his wife that's changing him? Love can be scary you know!

Hope you feel better one day... If I were you I would still try and talk with him, and I mean some serious business here.
If he refuses to speak... Then I guess what's gone is gone

You've lost a once beloved brother...

 

[stronqerx]

Me and my sis used to be really close too! until she met her bf, then things went down hill. It's really sad and i know how you feel, she moved out of the house without telling anyone and while she was fighting with me. I cried so much because it hurts a lot when you're super close to a sibiling and then they just turn their back and act like they're not even related to you anymore. I've tried confronting my sister and it goes no where or when i try to tell everyone how manipulating she is, everyone looks at me like if im the evil one. Bleh, I don't say anything anymore, good thing is a lot of my family members including my parents have come to realize how she is, and now ppl understand why I've acted certain ways with her before. I know one day my sister is going to realize what shes doing & be my best friend again, I am just waiting for her. Don't worry, hopefully he can realize how he's being and will change.

 

[ClaireAvril]

they say the worst situation is money situations/loans with family and close friends. It was obviously a wise choice to say no to the loan. but.. i think you should still try to be apart of his life however you can - be persistant.. Hopefully one day he realizes that this is his blood and of course its thicker than water.
You wouldn't want to lose him and regret all of the negativity that has been going on between you. Someone has to be the bigger person.

 

[Ruby_Woo]

At this point, its not about being a bigger person. I have always tried to be a part of his life. He has never made the attempt. How many unanswered text, ignored phone calls and unreplyed emails does it take for one to take the hint they don't want you in their lives?

If there will be regret, I honestly do not believe it will be on my behalve because I am now tired of trying. You know? My concious is clean and I know I did nothing wrong to him, he wanted to use me and I didn't allow it.

One day he will realize that he was the one to drift from his family. Hopefully its not too late.

Thanks everyone who read this! and I am truly sorry you guys are also going through similiar situations, because it hurts and it sucks

 

[macfabulous]

i know it must hurt, i dont talk to my father or his entire family (looong story) nbut uv tried your best and u just keep hurting yourself. so maybe its time to tell yourself that just because hes your bro does not mean he should be allowed to treat you in such a way, in fact its even worse because he's your bro. so i would say just leave him be, because the only one hurting is you. if he does come to his senses then that will be a great day for everyone. as for your niece, i would say if you can try and talk to his wife about seeing her. cheer up hun.