Okay, Help me out on this PLZ!
- Thread starter ndn-ista
- Start date
ndn-ista
Well-known member
thank you everyone for your input. i ALWAYS know the answer deep down, but i ALWAYS ignore it and try to get advice, hoping that i am just making a bigger deal about it then it may be. I am at a point where I ask myself, "ugh another failed relationship?" it's too bad that trust is something i just can't trust. part of it is me for sure, but the other part is the guy. yes, i do have trust issues, but i feel that the right guy won't put those doubts in me to begin with. i should have put my foot down in the first instinct, but im like, ohh u will get over it. but that allows the man to walk all over man, and that is just not right. self-worth and self-respect is something i will work on in 2010, because i think women who want to find "love" and the "right man" soemtimes settle, and ignore what really is self-worth and self-respect and most importantly, self-love. happy new year everyone!
Kazzii-Loves-MA
Well-known member
Hey hun,
if im being completely honest i dont think there is any trust in this relationship. Thats sad you should be enjoying being together and love spending time with eachother and not worrying about him seeing another girl. With me and my partner i feel i dont need to go through his things because i trust him a million percent, iv never doubted him and probably wont. id hate to live like that, talk to him... you both need to sort out your trust issues. if my boy friend had porn of some girl in his neighbourhood id be jealous, id be like i wasnt good enough, he should respect you enough not to do this and have random girls numbers. i really hope you sort things out sweetie x x x
if im being completely honest i dont think there is any trust in this relationship. Thats sad you should be enjoying being together and love spending time with eachother and not worrying about him seeing another girl. With me and my partner i feel i dont need to go through his things because i trust him a million percent, iv never doubted him and probably wont. id hate to live like that, talk to him... you both need to sort out your trust issues. if my boy friend had porn of some girl in his neighbourhood id be jealous, id be like i wasnt good enough, he should respect you enough not to do this and have random girls numbers. i really hope you sort things out sweetie x x x
paperfishies
Well-known member
The porn, IMO, isn't a big deal, it's normal. Men are visual (hell most people are visual) A man looking at porn is the equivalent of a female reading a romance novel that has sex scenes in it. Everyone likes a good fantasy but it should remain just a fantasy.
There's really only one way to know if the homemade naked girl vid is recent and that is to actually look at his phone bills and IMO if you are only 8 months into a relationship with this guy and you have already felt the need to look through his phone, go through his email and his contacts, then you need to call it quits. It ONLY gets worse from here. Spying on him will become an addiction because you will ALWAYS feel the need to be two steps ahead of him and in the end you will both be completely miserable. You because you will feel like a babysitter and not his equal, a girlfriend. And he will be miserable because he is with someone who is overbearing, controlling and just doesn't trust him. That makes for a volatile relationship, you will both walk away more broken than before.
To be very honest with you, you should probably not be in a relationship for a while. Don't even date. Spend time on YOU and figuring yourself out. If you are bringing baggage from past relationships into new relationships then you will never have a happy relationship, you will always be searching for something and basically waiting for the new guy to mess up so you can come in and play private eye. When you carry this baggage from one relationship to another, you just allown your new relationship to pick up where the old one left off. I've been there and it's not fun. It's emotionally draining and serves no purpose. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
Being cheated on SUCKS and can cause major damage to ones self esteem and can leave us with major trust issues. When entering a new relationship it's ok to have a guard up, it's ok to be cautious...But when you begin to invade another's privacy without their permission (especially in a semi new relationship) then you have already crossed a line and you know in your heart the relationship has as slim chance of surviving.
Good luck and I hope things turn out the way you want them to.
There's really only one way to know if the homemade naked girl vid is recent and that is to actually look at his phone bills and IMO if you are only 8 months into a relationship with this guy and you have already felt the need to look through his phone, go through his email and his contacts, then you need to call it quits. It ONLY gets worse from here. Spying on him will become an addiction because you will ALWAYS feel the need to be two steps ahead of him and in the end you will both be completely miserable. You because you will feel like a babysitter and not his equal, a girlfriend. And he will be miserable because he is with someone who is overbearing, controlling and just doesn't trust him. That makes for a volatile relationship, you will both walk away more broken than before.
To be very honest with you, you should probably not be in a relationship for a while. Don't even date. Spend time on YOU and figuring yourself out. If you are bringing baggage from past relationships into new relationships then you will never have a happy relationship, you will always be searching for something and basically waiting for the new guy to mess up so you can come in and play private eye. When you carry this baggage from one relationship to another, you just allown your new relationship to pick up where the old one left off. I've been there and it's not fun. It's emotionally draining and serves no purpose. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
Being cheated on SUCKS and can cause major damage to ones self esteem and can leave us with major trust issues. When entering a new relationship it's ok to have a guard up, it's ok to be cautious...But when you begin to invade another's privacy without their permission (especially in a semi new relationship) then you have already crossed a line and you know in your heart the relationship has as slim chance of surviving.
Good luck and I hope things turn out the way you want them to.
Kragey
Well-known member
Quote:
Okay, slight thread hijack, but how bad is it that I consider 3+ months in a relationship a decent amount of time, and anything over a year freaking amazing?
...that's bad, right? LOL. </commitment issues>
Originally Posted by paperfishies
if you are only 8 months into a relationship |
Okay, slight thread hijack, but how bad is it that I consider 3+ months in a relationship a decent amount of time, and anything over a year freaking amazing?
...that's bad, right? LOL. </commitment issues>
