Peeve about women...

[Shimmer]

"Treat me like a princess!"
"I deserve to be treated like a queen!!!"


What...in GOD's name...entitles a woman to be treated like a princess merely by virtue of being in a relationship?

Men can't read our minds y'all. There's absolutely no reason for this inflated sense of entitlement.

Is it reasonable to expect to be respected, treated well, loved, etc. in a relationship? Absolutely. Is it reasonable that men would expect the same thing? YES.

Those things don't encompass:
- Expecting him to read your mind when you're pissed off. If you're angry, say so.
- Expecting him to drop everything because you're upset the shoes you wanted aren't on sale anymore. He doesn't care. They're shoes. They go on your feet, and, truth be told, if you'd bought them you'd have bitched about how uncomfortable they are anyway, because you'd've been silly enough to wear 4 inch strappy stilettos out for a night dancing.
- Expecting him to endorse or understand why you need to have a 'talk' because you texted him THREE TIMES and he didn't respond within a fifteen minute window.
- Expecting him to always be the one to give. And compromise. And relent.

Some of that is somewhat superficial, other parts are not so much.

Ladies truth be told, you want a relationship with a man that's healthy, whole, and real you're going to have to work for it. Lay aside the 'princess' expectations because guess what...very few of us really ARE princesses. You're going to have to communicate. You're going to have to be realistic about your expectations. You're going to have to be willing to stand up for yourself while maintaining an honest and reasonable perspective. Stop looking for a man who's going to shower you with roses, jewelry, and gifts, because yeah you can find that man and 9 times out of 10 you know what that makes you? A hooker.



[/end rant]

 

[*Stargazer*]

I'm a pretty, pretty princess and there is nothing you can do about it, so nah nah nah nah nah.

Now that I have that out of my system, so much of what you've written is stuff I see in really immature girls who are in relationships. Its even more disturbing when I see it in someone older and supposedly mature.

 

[Beauty Mark]

What happened?

I know so many girls who have that attitude. :/ I don't understand it.

My newest peeve about women is when they don't want to talk about things (surprising, huh?) because they think a problem just magically disappeared and all is forgiven. And yes, I did try talking to said woman at the time of the problem but never got a response until recently (over a year).

I think my other peeve is when women don't apologize for jack or give slightly.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ladybug10678 I'm a pretty, pretty princess and there is nothing you can do about it, so nah nah nah nah nah. Now that I have that out of my system, so much of what you've written is stuff I see in really immature girls who are in relationships. Its even more disturbing when I see it in someone older and supposedly mature.

The sense of entitlement is what bothers me so much.

 

[ginger9]

I have a childhood friend who says that she wants to be with someone that will "treat me like a princess and buy me pink diamonds". Mind you, she is the ONLY friend I have that thinks like that. I try to explain to her in a very subtle, gentle way that she shouldn't expect a man to make her happy and if she wanted pink diamonds it's best she works to get it herself. I mean when you say that then what happens when you don't meet someone like that? You'll never get what you want waiting around for it. I don't want to go into detail about her personal life BUT I think that a man that will treat you "like a princess" is also a myth...because her marriage did not workout. Anyway, in many ways I am the polar opposite of her, I am almost too independent and I probably should work on that too...

But thanks for that Shimmer I think that's a really good wake up call and hopfully it'll get a few people thinking.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer - Expecting him to read your mind when you're pissed off. If you're angry, say so.

I love the silent treatment ;p

Quote:

- Expecting him to drop everything because you're upset the shoes you wanted aren't on sale anymore. He doesn't care. They're shoes. They go on your feet, and, truth be told, if you'd bought them you'd have bitched about how uncomfortable they are anyway, because you'd've been silly enough to wear 4 inch strappy stilettos out for a night dancing.

OMG Shimmer, thats a seriously emotional moment right there. Besides, that just means he has to pay full price for them now instead of the sale price.

Quote:

- Expecting him to endorse or understand why you need to have a 'talk' because you texted him THREE TIMES and he didn't respond within a fifteen minute window.

Dont ignore me ;p


Quote:

- Expecting him to always be the one to give. And compromise. And relent.

Thats the price he pays for getting to be dominant in bed. ;p

Some of that is somewhat superficial, other parts are not so much.

Quote:

Ladies truth be told, you want a relationship with a man that's healthy, whole, and real you're going to have to work for it. Lay aside the 'princess' expectations because guess what...very few of us really ARE princesses.

But Shimmer! It says "PRINCESS" on the ass of my velour pants!

Quote:

You're going to have to communicate. You're going to have to be realistic about your expectations. You're going to have to be willing to stand up for yourself while maintaining an honest and reasonable perspective.

I think it's ok to expect perfection. Afterall, a princess deserves nothing less.

Quote:

Stop looking for a man who's going to shower you with roses, jewelry, and gifts, because yeah you can find that man and 9 times out of 10 you know what that makes you? A hooker.

I prefer the term, "escort."

Quote:

[/end rant]

/end silliness

 

[Shimmer]

I actually just mentioned this thread to someone, the response was:
"She wants to be treated like a princess? She better look and act like one. She wants to be treated like she lives in a fairytale? I better get the same thing.
That means 250 ab reps a day, 45 minutes of cardio, strength training to keep her in shape. She better have makeup on, she better have her hair and nails looking GOOD every day, she better be ready to go entertain friends at a moment's notice and she better be ready at any given point in time to have sex. She may get one pass on the 'My head hurts not tonight' but twice in a row? She's falling down on her duties. She wants presents? She wants jewelry? She wants the fairytale? By God I want it too."

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer I actually just mentioned this thread to someone, the response was: "She wants to be treated like a princess? She better look and act like one. She wants to be treated like she lives in a fairytale? I better get the same thing. That means 250 ab reps a day, 45 minutes of cardio, strength training to keep her in shape. She better have makeup on, she better have her hair and nails looking GOOD every day, she better be ready to go entertain friends at a moment's notice and she better be ready at any given point in time to have sex. She may get one pass on the 'My head hurts not tonight' but twice in a row? She's falling down on her duties. She wants presents? She wants jewelry? She wants the fairytale? By God I want it too."

Actually if you look at those old paintings, most the real, "princesses" weren't that pretty lol...

 

[Shimmer]

This is true, but the fairytales were.
Rapunzel, Aurora, Ariel, etc.

If she gets her fairytale life, doesn't he deserve the same?

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Thanks for posting this, it's very necessary for some women to read cause I know someone who's exactly like this. Some people were raised with a silver spoon in their mouth and when they get married they expect their men to cater to them just like they were when they were at home and it's ridiculous. "I'm a princess, I deserve it". It's like c'mon, this is the real world honey, pull your head out of your a$$. Sooner or later the men will get tired of it and leave them and if they don't, the men deserve everything that's coming their way!

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer If she gets her fairytale life, doesn't he deserve the same?

Well...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer That means 250 ab reps a day, 45 minutes of cardio, strength training to keep her in shape.

If I wasn't working and had a extremely wealthy prince for a husband husband, I'd be all for working out with a personal trainer on a daily basis. Granted I personally dont find extremely defined 6-pak's attractive on women, just a flat firm tummy. But if he was into that, i'd be all for it. Not to mention there are plenty of forms of dance and such that can work those parts of the body w/out having to do crunches.

So ok, i'm alright with that.

Quote:

She better have makeup on, she better have her hair and nails looking GOOD every day

I think all women should do this anyways. I get up 2 hours before I have to leave for work to make sure i'm all in order before leaving the door. Enough time to shower, shave my legs/under arms, do my hair, do my makeup. I'll go into work late before showing up with wet hair curled up in a bun on the top of my head with no MU on like a lot of the girls do where I work. I always laugh when some of them talk about how they got, "all glammed up" for a night out, and put on foundation and eye liner...

And Mani/Peti's are just fun. I would be so going for weekly mani/peti's on his credit card of course ;p

Quote:

she better be ready to go entertain friends at a moment's notice

How fun. Parties. Realistically this sounds like my parents new neighborhood. Everyone there is constantly inviting people over for dinner and small get togethers. And as a return favor, everyone invites everyone else. I joke about it, but my Mom at 56, is going to more parties right now than I am at 25 LOL. And these aren't cheap eigther, my Mom spends several hundred dollars on food/drinks/gifts each time she hosts one. Many of them are catered, and have plenty of expensive alcohol's with open bars etc. It's a really active neighborhood thats very social, and this type of behavior is expected if you want to be apart of it. My Mom is constantly going out in preparation to host friends of theirs who had invited them the week before. And if her husband has associates from work comming over, she does the same. She litteraly works two job, she's a full time teacher, and a full time housewife. But he also makes sure she knows how much he appreciates what she does. It's not like he's sitting around the house, he works 12 hours+ days on a regular basis, not to mention traveling the globe to meet with clients.

Quote:

and she better be ready at any given point in time to have sex.

Considering he'd be my prince charming, who would give me butterflies every time he walked in the door, I dont think this would be that bad. Our relationship would be like the first month, only like that forever. Where we are both madly in love with each other and consumned with passion.

Quote:

She wants the fairytale? By God I want it too."

His fairytale doesn't really sound that bad ;p All of that sounds like a lof of fun personally.

 

[ginger9]

This thread's got me thinking, I wanted to know what you ladies think about....

If we shouldn't have a sense of false entitlement, at what point do we draw the line between a relationship that is fulfilling and meaningful vs. someone that really doesn't give a damn to try to make you happy? I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do you know if you're being unreasonable vs. he's just a selfish being not worth your time?

Also, what if you manage your expectations to the point where you never expect anything from a man any more? Is that healthy? I've had an ex tell me I don't make him feel wanted. I just feel like it's such a fine line sometimes...

 

[iLust]

You took the words right out of my mouth Shimmer! My best friend is this way, and it drives me nuts!

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ginger9 This thread's got me thinking, I wanted to know what you ladies think about.... If we shouldn't have a sense of false entitlement, at what point do we draw the line between a relationship that is fulfilling and meaningful vs. someone that really doesn't give a damn to try to make you happy? I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do you know if you're being unreasonable vs. he's just a selfish being not worth your time? Also, what if you manage your expectations to the point where you never expect anything from a man any more? Is that healthy? I've had an ex tell me I don't make him feel wanted. I just feel like it's such a fine line sometimes...

I think thats where that whole idea about communication comes in. If you know what your SO's expectations are in a relationship, and he knows what yours are, and your BOTH ok with that, it should be a win win situation for the both of you.

it's couples that dont communicate these things that end up resenting each other in the long run.

 

[Shimmer]

If she's not willing to put in the same amount of work she expects him to, with the same level of commitment and reason, then she doesn't need to be in the relationship.
If she's not willing to say "Yeah, honey, go ahead and go to that __________ game tonight instead of going to do what I wanted to do" once in awhile, she doesn't need to be there.
If she's not willing to take the pressure off of him from time to time, and cut him some slack, she doesnt' need to be there.
If she's not willing to communicate effectively, openly, honestly, and realistically, then she shouldn't be there.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer If she's not willing to communicate effectively, openly, honestly, and realistically, then she shouldn't be there.

This covers all of the above lines in your post...

The above things only happen when this doesn't.

 

[Shimmer]

True, but a summary of the previously mentioned points is always effective

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer True, but a summary of the previously mentioned points is always effective

I do think you should edit your post thought to say, "If the couple."

I do believe this sort of attitude is only able to thrive in a situation where he isn't communicating his needs. Then again, some Men like their women to walk all over them.

 

[Dark_Phoenix]

Well, I think women (myself included) expect courtesy and general politeness.

When we go somewhere, please open the door. I expect that he volunteers to pay for dinner (er, but we usually go dutch, lol). And just to overall be considerate.

You don't have to drop everything to do some stupid bullsh*t with me... but if I ask you a week in advance (and remind you) that we have plans to go to a party don't cancel on me because of a sports event, your friends (minus emergencies) or any other complete crap that happened at the last minute.

Not all "I'm a princess" but more like "I'm your girlfriend, I deserve to be treated like I'm someone close to you, not just like one of your friends."

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae I do think you should edit your post thought to say, "If the couple." I do believe this sort of attitude is only able to thrive in a situation where he isn't communicating his needs. Then again, some Men like their women to walk all over them.

yes but my rant isn't about men, it's about women. So nyah.