RANT: Single dosn't mean desperate!

[RockStar]

I've moved to this neighborhood about 2 years ago with my bf and my Welsh Corgi puppy Amber and we used to walk her together but we broke up some time later and he moved out and I kept the dog.

Now more than a year after I'm walking Amber in the park and this other dog owner who used to talk to us a while back starts a conversation with me.
He asked why he doesn't see me walking Amber with my bf anymore and I just tell him we broke up a year ago, since it's kind of old news. Then he starts telling me how beautiful I am and that I shouldn't stay single for long...WTF MAN?
I'm an independent 22 year old and he's hitting his 40s, I see him wearing the same clothes every day and he's flirting with me just cause I happen to be single? Why do these men think they got a chance?

This is not the first time this happens some other 40ish neighbor just banged on my door one day and invited me to go drink wine in his apartment... ummm let me think....HECK NO!

I'm so pissed these men they think they're all that and when they get rejected they start saying stuff behind my back to other people

I heard my neighbor was saying how at my age I should be having kids instead of calling my dog "my little girl"

and younger men are just trying to impress me with their $$$ and cars instead of having the guts to take me out and get to know me.

I just want to find a nice guy who will like me for my personality and not just my looks, I don't want no sugar-daddy ewww
Am I too mean or too picky or am I right to be mad?

What do you think? (sorry for the giant wall of text, it had to come out LOL)

 

[nichollecaren]

I'm sorry...your situation seems pretty frustrating. The first thing i'd suggest is that you stay nice and dont let them realize it gets to you. Pretty soon, if keep your cool long enough, they'll realize you arent the typical *insert name of town* girl. If so many of them are of this view, it does suggest that this is the way they have been socialised in this town.

And for the record, many men flirt, not because they THINK they have a chance, they flirt because they HOPE they have one. Some know they have no chance but flirt anyways. Thats them, dont let it upset you too much...boys will be boys.

If after two years, if they still havent learnt who you are, maybe the mystery has them cooking up stories. Whatever it is, dont compromise your standards or let them see you crack! Enjoy being single and independent! And make sure it shows

edit: I do hope you told the wine drinker to never come back!

 

[iadoremac]

i can safely say its not you its them

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I know some guys who stop talking to me when they find out im married with children.

In they end they are hoping for some booty, thats what i thinks, why else would they stop talking to me and start hitting on girls when they find out they are single.

 

[kaliraksha]

Bleh! I tend to put blame on both parties and say that there are some girls out there who can't bear to be without a man... any man over no man. And all these "any man"s have probably heard stories of young pretty girls on the rebound and think "might as well give it a shot." They give us a bad image... I know when I was single it was always "why" and the sympathetic head nod followed by "awww"... as if being single was an affliction.

Although I haven't been single in a long while... I feel the need to vent some steam when I get asked why I'm still in school and why I haven't gotten married and why I haven't had babies.

 

[swirledpeacat]

I broke up with my bf and all of a sudden this guy from work (who is twice my age, im 20) wouldnt leave me alone! Dirty old men make me so mad, why do they think they can get away with it?

Don't worry love you will meet someone who cares for you and is not just looking for a booty call.

 

[RockStar]

Thanks for the support everyone

and nichollecaren, I think my disgusted face kinda tipped him off to never come back

 

[blazeno.8]

Yeah, I hate it how so many people have to have an opinion on what I should or should not be doing in my private life. And I don't know if you get this vibe (I sure do), but most people who do that seem to have some sort of apologetic-optimistic tone about it. Something like, "I'm sorry you're single, but don't worry, you'll find someone soon."

 

[kabuki_KILLER]

I'd be mad in your situation too. I've had guys ask me out just because I'm single and then calling me a racist if I say no, as if only the color of their skin has everything to do with it. Maybe it's one of the following factors.

1) I just don't find the person or their personality very attractive. I don't like men in their late 20s and 30s that act like frat boys or guys that assume I'll say yes because they have money.

2) Just because I won't date someone doesn't mean I wouldn't have gotten along with them if all was good. That's not racism. Dating is a very personal issue. What if I shot down someone that was Chinese or Czech? If it's not racism, what is it?

3) It is totally ok for young, successful and attractive females to be single and to want to be single.

 

[Naija]

I feel you! lol I never understood how some men can be so BOLD. I think a lot of them think younger women are naive and easier to pass off bullshit to, a older women sees right through them. I guess that's a reason why older slimy men go after younger women so much. Plus why do they always aim out of their league? Do I look like I will date you even if you were the last man on earth?? Ridiculous.

 

[kimmy]

let it roll off your back, the situation you're in is common in our society. alot of people in their age bracket are of the old skool thought, that a grown woman needs a man, a daughter, a son and a white picket fence.

i was single for almost three years, and alot of coworkers and friends would ask me why. it's not easy to find a good man, and i'm not one of those settle for what you find first kind of people. fuck that noise. i have standards, and yeah i dated some people who met some (but not all) of those standards and they didn't last.

waiting paid off, i've got the man of my dreams now and i feel pretty lucky to have that at twenty-one. but you know what? if he woke up tomorrow and says "i want you out of my life," i'm not just going to turn to the first man who asks for my number after that.

there are alot of girs who would though, and that's why dudes will ask you out as soon as they find out that you're single. i don't think it's something to be mad about though...i mean, it's disappointing that so many girls are that way to where guys think we all are, but i wouldn't be mad about it. like i said, let it roll off your back.

as for them talking shit, you probably aren't the first girl who's denied them so i bet they've spoken ill about plenty before. most people will know they're just pissed they didn't get a chance because really, how does one old guy know all the "dirty business" of every chick in the neighborhood without making it up?

 

[Almond_Eyed]

Ugh... I HATE it when people say "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Well, why not? I can't be single?

It's like some social expectation that you have to have a partner... but if you DO have a partner and they happen to be the same sex then you get even more crap! But that's another topic =p

 

[MaskedBeauty]

I feel ya. I hate when older men try and hit on younger women the second they find out that they're single. especially if the older man is wayyyyyy out of the girls league. just gross! As for the neighbors talking crap, just ignore them. it's your life, you do as you please. who cares what everyone else thinks!?

 

[MissVanity]

i know exactly what you mean, being single isnt a bad thing! ive been single for about 4 years now and alot of my friends look at me in pitty on why am i single! well personally id rather be by myself then be with a dick head! i refuse to settle for something just becase everyone thinks i need a bf, i would rather wait around for that one guy who is going to make me smile like no other. and the old guys hitting on you will always be there just stand your ground and know that your better than some little one night stand crap! and you deserve better than that, we all do! and your not being picky, your being smart! no girl should settle for anything less than butterflies.....

 

[pleomorphic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxManBeaterxx I know some guys who stop talking to me when they find out im married with children. In they end they are hoping for some booty, thats what i thinks, why else would they stop talking to me and start hitting on girls when they find out they are single.

Ugh...I used to take a ferry to work, and I started noticing that this one ferry worker would either talk to me or not, depending directly on how much makeup I'd put on that day. What a pig! Like I'm not worth talking to unless I'm all done up "for him."