Right to be upset or just being spoiled?

[evilpoptart]

So my bf of 2 yrs once again was not very nice to me regarding our christmas gifts. I got him a kindle, paid around 200 for it. I have no issues with that. My issue is that I have been wanting a nice watch for a long time now. I've had my eye on the white ceramic ones. I have never owned a nice watch. He also wanted a new watch for christmas. He already owns a 500 beautiful ESQ watch and got another watch two days before giving me my present. When he got his new watch he kept making me admire it, reassure him it was good enough for him since he ONLY paid 200 for it and got it at....ohmigod....JC PENNY (please note my sarcasm. You can get good things anywhere I am making fun of his conceited ass). He basically was acting like it wasn't good enough for him and made me reassure him it was. When we exchanged our gifts I was happily surprised he got me the watch I wanted, at least I thought. I fawned and acted like a completely happy fool. But he left the price tag on it and when I tried it on I could tell....it wasn't the watch I wanted. The face is different, not pretty, and the band is plastic not ceramic. It feels rough on my skin and poorly made. It was 90 dollars, not on sale. I know I sound spoiled but to me he seems to have purposefully done this to make me feel less than him again. I have suspected for a while he has narcissitic personality disorder and as mentioned in this forum before he can be blatantly mean to me. I pointed out several gifts to him under 100 that I would have been happy to have, and I figured after christmas I would buy my ceramic watch for myself since that is a piece I will have for a long time. Instead he tried to buy me an imitation of what I wanted and I KNOW that if I exchange it he will get really nasty with me. But wearing it is going to make me mad after he made a big deal about a 200 dollar watch not being good enough for him yet giving me a plastic watch that was the cheapest white watch in the store. Especially after 6 months ago we went and picked out the one I wanted, and it was 240. He knew the one I wanted was expensive and if he didn't want to pay it, fine with me, i'm not asking for expensive gifts but don't get me some imitation of what I want so I can't get what I really want. He even had the gall to tell me how he was surprised the store had nice expensive 300 watches out of the case right along with the cheapies. I just don't see why he would make a big deal about his watch price when he KNEW what he paid for mine and that I was going to see the price tag on it. I don't own a lot of jewelry, and most everything I have is something I bought, but they are quality pieces over quantity.
Oh, and I will also mention it was my bday the 21st and for my birthday he got me perfume. We had went to sephora two weeks earlier and smelled perfumes. I liked a couple and he sprayed flowerbomb which has patchouli in it, and I told him I didn't like it. He loved it. Guess which one he got me? Yep, flowerbomb. I would overlook it if I thought he made an honest mistake, but he tells me as I'm opening it that he knows I didn't like it but he loves it and thinks it will smell good on me and it was his favorite so he just had to get it. He tells me it smells sensual and that's what he liked so much about it. Later that night we go to dinner at his house with his mom and she is talking about wanting new perfume. He tells her she should get some flowerbomb too since it smells so good. I was like WTF? Who tells their mom to get the same perfume as their gf, especially after telling me it makes him think of sex?
Oh, and we have no NYE plans, he didn't want to go out anywhere with any of our friends. He wants to stay in, and is even talking about going to his house (where his mom will be) for NYE. All I have to say is I will spend the night with a bottle of absolut completely alone before I spend NYE with him and his mom. I can imagine the ball dropping and instead of him kissing me at midnight she would be all over him singing "praise jesus" because for some reason everytime I am around this woman and her son she is always touching him, hugging him like she hasn't seen him in weeks, and singing praise and worship songs while doing it.
A month ago you all gave me some great advice so I think with how pissed I finally am, as petty as it is to make me realize it over a watch/perfume/NYE, maybe I can actually act intelligent and get out now. I don't need this anymore.

PS: Money is not an issue with him, he often spends 50+ on meals. Oh, except lately he complains about the price of everything. But never fails to tell me how much money his mom makes and how much money he will make when he takes over her practice.

Sorry for the negativity. I hope everyone has a good holiday, I'm going home to my family and will let this go.

 

[VickyT]

Has his financial situation changed recently? You mention that he's complaining about everything being expensive, has he lost hours at work or had to take a pay cut? This could explain some of the reason why he bought you the less nice watch- he feels he's running low on money, but remembered what you liked about the other one. Unfortunately though he bought himself a nice expensive watch, which indicates to me that he might be trying to reduce spending on unecessary things and unfortunately, your wants are considered excessive or a lower priority than his own, which is quite selfish.

Truthfully, I'd describe him as actually okay at giving gifts- he remembered the products and sentiments behind it (even if its the wrong one), and that can be a situation that can be dealt with, if you wanted to. On the other hand, though, you've detailed before that you're having a lot of problems, and if this is the last straw for you then that's okay. Does he have any other signs of deprioritising your wants or needs in a non-financial sense, such as ignoring or not listening to you? It could be a sign of a deeper issue, and one that you might not really want to deal with.

 

[LMD84]

well he sounds a litle bit selfish buying himself a watch before Christmas and then not spending an amazing amount on you, even though you have spent quite a bit on him. however perhaps he honestly thought the watch was what you wanted? my hubby gets things muddled sometimes - he'll buy something similar to what i have said i want but because i always want a certain thing it wasnt quite right. the perfume thing is slightly weird though - but perhpas he thought you would enjoy wearing the perfume for him for special dates and stuff? i'd do that if my hubby liked a certain smell.

honestly i think maybe you should just cut your loses with the watch. if you're not keen ask if you can return it and then you can use that money to get the watch you really want.

 

[COBI]

In reading your post, I am actually less concerned with the gifts themselves and your question of "right to be upset or just being spoiled", I am more drawn to wondering why you are in this 2-year relationship? You seem very resentful, bitter and made several negative statements about him in general.

Add these statements to your post from a month ago (which I just looked at now), "I feel like I have no power, that I'm taken for granted, and basically treated poorly" and it is clear that the problem here is an unhealthy relationship and not Christmas gifts.

You need to first empower yourself and believe that you deserve respect. If you felt respected in the relationship, the price of a gift would likely become irrelevant.

Empowering and respecting yourself will likely require a break from this relationship;it may be temporary or need to be permanent, only time will tell. Others can only make you feel powerless if you allow them, too.

Of course, this is JMHO.

 

[Lauren1981]

well i hope you have a great holiday as well lol!

sounds like to me you made your mind already towards the end of your post.
it doesn't sound like you're too happy with this guy and from what you say it sounds like he's inadvertently and sometimes blatantly controlling. you're opinions over what you like/want sound irrelevant to him and that's not healthy.
i don't think i read your last post about him but if it's a month later and nothing has changed then it sounds like your best bet might be to get out soon.
how long have you been with him???

 

[Cydonian]

I agree with everyone else -- I think you just need to end it. I used to rant like this about an ex of mine and once I broke it off, it was THE BEST thing I could have ever done. You will feel a million times better and so much weight will be off of your shoulders.

I don't know about the watch thing -- that seems really, really rude but I don't know what that's like to be honest. My husband and I have a different relationship since he can't legally work right now... so the gifts this year were uneven but I didn't care, I have him. We're just different. I do think the watch thing is quite rude. (I can only equate it to getting my sister in law and ton of stuff and in return getting a couple of cheap things that she whined were expensive)

The perfume thing, uh... no. Just no. I used to flip out on my mom for taking my perfume and wearing it. Even my dad thought it was creepy. I have one perfume the same as her and that's because it smells TOTALLY different on us (you can't tell it's the same perfume, it's that different), I also waited a year before asking for it for myself. But him getting the one you don't like? WTF? I get them getting something they like but patchouli is not for everyone. I know I hate it; it gives me a headache! What he pulled was total douchery.

I think you just need to shove this guy out the door, yelling adieu as you do!