torn.

GLAMORandGORE

Well-known member
before i start, i want to thank anyone that will read this...it's probably going to be ridiculously long and i truly honestly appreciate it because my "friends" don't even listen.

a few weeks ago, i was at a show and was completely wasted off my face, ended up going home with a friends ex. "the" ex, you guys know what i mean. she's messing around with one of his friends and was always talking about how much she hated him. (i NEVER would've done this if i was sober btw) we ended up hitting it off and actually liking each other.

both of them (my old friend, let's call her brittany, and my...whatever you wanna call him, let's call him richard) have serious histories of lying to anyone/everyone. both of them have cheated, pretty much shitty people.

anyway, he made a "promise" to me that he wouldn't do anything with other girls because he wanted to be with me. but since i was still friends with brittany at the time i wouldn't becuase that's so fucking shady and i just can't do that to someone i care about. he went to her house drunk (she says he came that night, he says he went in the morning) and they had sex. he says it's because she said that if he didn't feel anything that she would be okay with him and i being together. (he's an absolute idiot, and part of me actually believes he would believe that and the other part doesn't because, how much of an idiot acn you be? he also says he was drunk) she said that he looked her in the eye and told her that he loved her, but also says that he wasn't into it at all and she can tell that he's head over heels for me.

richard didn't admit to it till two days later, brittany was the one who told me. i wouldn't talk to both of them for several days and finally richard said "shit happens. we dated for two years." along with some other shit, which he says was brittany's idea to say. i'm not sure if that's true or not, but i think it very possibly could be because he doesn't say things like that and she does.

a whole bunch of drama happened, i ended up telling him that i hope his kid is autistic(and he very well might be). two days after, he texted me telling me he still wanted something with us. i ended up giving up and telling him he can have a second chance. that in itself is huge for me, because i NEVER give people second chances, ever ever ever. i can't even think of one time that i have, honestly.

richard and i are now dating (not together, but dating, if that makes sense) and "okay" but i still have complete hatred and anger towards him and will never ever trust him. he does plenty of things to show he cares (walks long distances to see me-and when i say long i mean long, sleeps in parks, buys me food, etc) but at the same time i really don't know.

he lives about an hour away from me, and his ex lives out there too, so i'm always always always paranoid he'll end up at her house again. and if he can't even be faithful when we're not official how can he be when we are? and if he can get drunk and do shit like that, how do i know he can't when we're together? should i believe him?

two other things are big factors which are pretty hard for me to say on the internet to people i don't know, but here goes. i'm concerned for my health because a.)i have a long drawn out history of depression, been hospitalized, on medication, etc. etc. b.)i was cheated on by my rapist who took my virginity so i have a high no tolerance cheating policy. both of these things warp my mind and have a huge effect on how im thinking.

basically, i just want to know what you all think on this situation. i don't believe in karma, but i can't help but think that's what's going on.
 

martiangurll

Well-known member
I would not put anything into this other than a booty call because I think this guy is not future material. If you can just have fun and let it be that, I'd keep on. But if you do that, I wouldn't count on keeping your friend.

So, is this guy worth screwing your friend over for?

If not, wait a few months. I'd say six months to a year. If he is that into you, he will wait. If it is meant to be, he will wait.

Most likely you will find someone else before all that.
 

silentstorm143

Well-known member
Hun love or even sex ain't worth that kinda a shit. I have dealt with depression sine I was 11 and crap like this makes it worse. I have severe severe trust issues due to all the crap people have done to me. Dudes like the one you are dealing with don't change and you cant make em. Drop him some one better will come along. Its better to be alone than wish you were is my opinion. Good luck and be safe.
 

JULIA

Well-known member
"i still have complete hatred and anger towards him and will never ever trust him."

Then it's never going to work. Why would you even consider dating someone whom you know you will never trust? I mean, you hate the guy. Then what DO you like about him so much that has you wanting to be with him? Don't even bother doing that to yourself. He obviously hasn't moved on from Brittany and trying to win the heart of a person whose left it in someone else's hands is impossible.

It's hard but you have to move on. You'll never find the right person if you're holding onto to the wrong guy.
 

Meisje

Well-known member
This relationship is built on lies, drama, and ill will. The result will be a blend of the three. It's a total waste of time.
 

Shimmer

Well-known member
Dude.
Reread your entire post.
No one is going to read that and say "Wow, you know what? There's a FORCE that says YOU GUYS MUST BE TOGETHER!"

You flat out called him a lying, womanizing, scheming piece of shit.

Don't invite that into your life. Find a man who will value you for who you are. One who will value the commitment and honesty you put into the relationship, and will reciprocate it.
 

kaliraksha

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by GLAMORandGORE

both of them (my old friend, let's call her brittany, and my...whatever you wanna call him, let's call him richard) have serious histories of lying to anyone/everyone. both of them have cheated, pretty much shitty people.

richard didn't admit to it till two days later, brittany was the one who told me.

but i still have complete hatred and anger towards him and will never ever trust him.

he lives about an hour away from me, and his ex lives out there too, so i'm always always always paranoid he'll end up at her house again. and if he can't even be faithful when we're not official how can he be when we are? and if he can get drunk and do shit like that, how do i know he can't when we're together? should i believe him?

two other things are big factors which are pretty hard for me to say on the internet to people i don't know, but here goes. i'm concerned for my health because a.)i have a long drawn out history of depression, been hospitalized, on medication, etc. etc. b.)i was cheated on by my rapist who took my virginity so i have a high no tolerance cheating policy. both of these things warp my mind and have a huge effect on how im thinking.


Girl! Listen to yourself! Any of these one situations you mentioned above is a big enough obstacle in some relationships to overcome. But all of this and you're just beginning to see each other? I'm sorry... but it just sounds like a recipe for disaster.
 

snowflakelashes

Well-known member
The girls said it all, you can't have a real relationship with someone you don't trust. And you say you never can trust him. Yes obviously you are ATTRACTED to him but thats not what makes a relationship last long term. If you keep with this, your just hurting yourself....

Just think about what you would tell a friend if they were in this situation... You would tell them to RUN wouldn't you?
smiles.gif


I know its hard to do the smart thing, its sometimes easier to do the silly idiotic thing that you know will hurt you... but easy... can be more of a headache in the long run.
smiles.gif
 

LMD84

Well-known member
get rid and move on as soon as you possibly can. nothing good is going to come from this 'relationship'.
 

buddleia

Well-known member
Listen to yourself; you don't need us to advise you on what to do, you already know. Agree with everyone here, but especially snowflakelashes and shimmer.

Honestly, I think your health, i.e. your mental health, should be your first priority. Sounds like you've been through a lot of crap in your life, and I think you really should take care of yourself so that you're able to get to a place where 1) you love yourself (yes, totally cliche, but it's important!) which will lead to 2) being able to make better decisions for yourself which will lead to 3) attracting healthy people into your life who will love you for you, and be honest and supportive towards you.
 
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