ashley8119
Well-known member
I think I might have a serious fear of commitment and also a fear of not being in control. I like to be in control at all times with my personal relationships. In other words, I would rather walk away from a relationship than to have somebody walk away from me in a relationship. Whether I am really interested in a guy or "kinda interested", it doesn't matter how much I'm interested in him, I often think to myself: "Do I really want this? Do I really want to call him my boyfriend? Do I really want to be his girlfriend?" If he seems slightly withdrawn (even if he's just tired after a long day at work and turns in early, for example), I tend to question my feelings and convince myself that maybe there *is* some kind of serious feelings there. But then when things are okay again, I'm back to questioning whether or not I want to be with him. This has happened with every guy I have ever considered being "more than friends" with.
My ex and I used to talk about marriage but our relationship failed because he relapsed into his drug addiction, and even though I felt totally in love with him and didn't want anybody else, whenever he would talk about getting married or if he would mention goals for our future (way in the future, like 20 years from now), I would feel kind of uncomfortable and question my feelings and whether or not I really wanted to be with him. I felt so in love with him and I can honestly say that I believed he was my everything, but the thought of marriage and any serious commitment (even right before we became an official couple), I would constantly have a battle with myself over what I think I want and what I really want. It's annoying being so indecisive and questioning myself so much.
I'm not sure how to label this issue, so I guess I would call it a fear of any type of serious commitment in a relationship or even marriage. My mom says I'll grow out of it and it's just because I'm "young and immature" when it comes to serious relationships (I'm 20) but I'm interested in getting some other opinions.
What do YOU think? Will I grow out of this or will I always be annoyingly indecisive?
My ex and I used to talk about marriage but our relationship failed because he relapsed into his drug addiction, and even though I felt totally in love with him and didn't want anybody else, whenever he would talk about getting married or if he would mention goals for our future (way in the future, like 20 years from now), I would feel kind of uncomfortable and question my feelings and whether or not I really wanted to be with him. I felt so in love with him and I can honestly say that I believed he was my everything, but the thought of marriage and any serious commitment (even right before we became an official couple), I would constantly have a battle with myself over what I think I want and what I really want. It's annoying being so indecisive and questioning myself so much.
I'm not sure how to label this issue, so I guess I would call it a fear of any type of serious commitment in a relationship or even marriage. My mom says I'll grow out of it and it's just because I'm "young and immature" when it comes to serious relationships (I'm 20) but I'm interested in getting some other opinions.
What do YOU think? Will I grow out of this or will I always be annoyingly indecisive?