My whole family thinks I'm insane, stubborn, and/or just plain dumb for not going. They remind me almost everyday. I was talking with my mom yesterday about my sister possibly getting married in the next two or three years. She didn't want that unless my sister finished graduate school or got a nice job somewhere so she can be independent. I told her that all I wanted was for my sister to be happy and if that's getting married then okay. My mom said, "The last time I allowed one of my kids to do what made them happy it didn't work out."
My apologies in advance, my story is a little long but I felt it might encourage someone out there!
When I was 16/17 I decided to write a novel. I fell in love with the story from day one. I explained the plot to my mom and she thought it was wonderful. My brother and sister would often share ideas that they thought would be amazing to see in my book. It was neat to see them enjoy it so much. But after writing the first few chapters, I could see I needed to develop the plot more and that takes time.
As soon as I turned 18, my mom grew impatient. She yelled a lot and criticized me if I wasn't working on my book. She even threatened that I would have to stop writing or leave her home. My sister always let me know that my writing sucked because it wasn't published. If I had an opinion about an author she was reading, she'd get defensive and tell me that I was jealous of them and that my book would never be as good. My dad was approved for VA that year which gave my brother, sister, and me the ability to go to college for free. That's when my dad and his family started really pushing me to go. They didn't understand why I was doing what I was doing, and honestly I know they thought I was being foolish. My brother bragged a lot about how he was going to be the first to leave the house and make something of himself and how I failed at life. When it came time for chores, my siblings always had an excuse to get out of it ... "I have homework" or "I have a test to study for" ... and my mom would pass it on to me because they all thought I had nothing important to do. This took a lot of time away from my book and I would often catch them goofing off, hanging out with friends, or playing video games during their "study time".
I remember stopping my book for half a year to study the ACT. At the time it seemed better to give up on my dream and give in to what everybody else wanted. I felt so hopeless. A month after I took the test I was in a bad car accident. I was convinced I was going to die in it, but there was a moment during the accident where I knew Jesus was protecting me. This weird feeling came over me and I knew finishing my book was something I was meant to do in this world.
I've had a lot of setbacks since then -- had to deal with the injuries from the accident for four years, helped take care of my grandparents before they died, had to rework my first five chapters -- but I've also made a ton of progress. There's only a few more chapters left to edit before my book is finished and I'm so excited for what's to come. Yes, I've had the "you're not in college yet" look since then from other family members, friends, and even from complete strangers. When I tell them I'm writing a novel I think it gives them the giggles ... like they're thinking "good luck with that, I'm sure it's going to work out." But I continue on doing what I'm doing.
Things are turning up. I know my book will be published. It's been an incredible, difficult journey but Jesus has blessed me abundantly with a new life, a fiancé who loves me and understands what I'm doing, people and other family who really do support me, and being able to go to sleep at night knowing I made the right decision for me.
Something I've learned along the way is when you're on the right path 9 times out of 10 it's not going to be the easiest one to take. People will show their true colors -- good or bad, family or friend -- but ultimately, you're the one who makes the choice. You can go with the flow or you can do what you know is right. My mom always said once you graduate and have that piece of paper in your hands no one can take it away, that's not true and that's not what makes a person. Plenty of people are coming out of college now who either don't have jobs or find that they hate doing what they studied for. Heck, in this economy there are people with Ph.D's working at McDonald's just to make ends meet. It doesn't mean they aren't brilliant. It just shows how quickly society and the economy evolves. College is not the be-all, end-all solution to life as everyone would have you believe. Even if your dream is to become an astrophysicist or lawyer, college will still be one stepping stone in a row of many.