Does this mean I'm gay?

kesey

New member
For starters I'm a 19 year old male and I've only ever been turned on by m/m porn. I've never had sex with a woman, not from lack of trying. I'm just physically unable to, I can't get it up. I'm not a virgin though I've had sexual relationships and one night stands with several other boys my age. I enjoy botteming in anal sex, and most the time when I masturbate I shove things up my ass. Do you guys think this makes me gay?
 

ElvenEyes

Well-known member
If you were my nephew (yep, I am that old) I would tell you it doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you think and feel. Taking away all the physical actions, who are you most attracted to and why? Men, women or both? Older, younger, same age or a mix? Who do you "check out" and why? Where does love and chemistry and friendship factor in? Is it just a physical thing that brings you pleasure or more than that? Are you emotionally attached to these people or is it more of a game or quick way to get out some sexual frustration? There is a lot to be factored in before one insists on "labeling" themselves. And a lot of questions to ask yourself. And remember you are still young. You might be finding yourself still, you might be gay, you might be bisexual, you might be a late bloomer, you might be... Get the picture? :) It isn't always black or white. Life is full of shades of grey!
 

kesey

New member
I'd say I'm most attracted to men, older and same age, younger guys don't really do anything for me. I'm not sexually attracted to women in anyway. Most the time my sexual relationships are purely physical, the only one that got emotional what so ever was really one sided, my side that is. He had a girlfriend, one he knocked up at that, and we were just secretly fucking on the side. Even though I had been seeing him longer than the girl he was dating we always termed our relationship as fuck buddies. I stepped out even though I was really attatched to him, I saw him trying to start a family with this girl as picking her over me. He was in no way oblivious to my feelings for him, I guess they just weren't mutual. Other than that all of my relationships have been purely physical.
 

katred

Specktra Bestie
If you are sexually attracted to men and not to women, then, yes, that would indicate you are gay.

On the other hand, my advice would be to not think about it too much. Think about who you're attracted to both for sex and relationships and don't worry about having to put a label on it. At 19, I think that you're still at a stage where your sexuality can be in flux. Give yourself the chance to enjoy and experiment.
 

LMD84

Well-known member
i'd say that the signs are there that you are gay seeing as you are attracted to men. But like kate says - don't think about it so much. you are still young and you don't need to label yourself right now. just enjoy yourself, explore whatever feelings you have be it for a man or a woman and just let go. i'm sure that in a few years time you will settle down and realise if you are gay, straight or maybe bi. in fact somebody i know was married for 16 years before he came out as gay - not because he wanted to hide it - but because he honestly didn't know what sexual orientation he was.
 

inishkai

Well-known member
Agreed, what I get from your comment is that you are. But you're still young, experiment and remember to be safe with it. If you have to ask, that shows that you're still unsure of your own sexuality.
 
I go to therapy for an in-depth look at anything that I'm questioning...so my advice would be to see a counselor, they'll help you get down to the root of how you really feel in a totally nonjudgmental way :)
 

Yamly

Active member
Nowadays it's absolutely okay. You are you, doesn't matter you like guys or girls. For example, I found out I like girls several years ago. First, it was hard to accept but then I finally felt happiness. Just take your time and enjoy your life. By the way, I can recommend a cool website where I watch lesbians having sex here https://lesbi.land/
 
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