Boys at Work...

[singer92286]

Alright, so I'm hoping that some of you lovely ladies here on Specktra can help me out...

My family moved to Utah two months ago from California. There's this guy out in CA who I've been casually "dating" for the past six months, we just haven't seen each other in over a month but we talk everyday and make a huge effort to see each other (I'm going down next weekend, and then he's flying up here two weeks from now). I'm home saving up to move back out there and be with all my friends, as well as him. It's pretty much a long distance relationship, but it's not "official."

Here's my dilemma. I got this new job, at a pretty male dominated office, which I don't have a problem with, and neither does my CA boy. I've made friends with a few of the guys, and one in particular is WAY hot and WAY sweet... I kind of have a little crush on him, and I don't feel bad about it because nothing's official with Mr. CA and, hey, I'm still young! This hot office boy, I think, is kind of crushing on me, too, it's just a little too soon to tell. I'm not opposed to going out with him a few times, because he seems like a really fun guy, and I'm not looking for any sort of commitment right now in my life.

The tricky part is, this other, kind of dorky, disheleved guy who I've literally spoken to once in the hallway (as in, I said hey and he said hi back; and I only know his name from his nametag) found me on facebook tonight and send me this message:

so, just a random silly question, i was curious if you were dating anyone. this isn't the greatest medium to ask that question in, i know, but I don't have much time to talk to you at work.

What do I do?! I don't want to say that I'm single because I don't want him to make a move, but I don't want to say that I'm taken (which really is kind of true) because I'd like to maybe go out with my fun office friend. I'm also scared of telling him the truth (which I know is horrible) because I don't want him to make it awkward at work. I'm just not attracted to him at all, and he always seems so angry and brooding at work.

What would you do?! Ugh, boys!!!

Thanks in advance

 

[Blushbaby]

Just say 'You've just come out of something and you're not interested in pursuing anything new right now'. Then switch the convo and say 'Gotta dash, really busy tonight, have a good wkend and see you around at work'.

Saying that, even if this does get back to the guy you kinda like, just carry on as normal with him. Like you say it's early days and you don't know what's gna be happening with the guy back home yet, so this gives you space to get to know office guy without any pressure too.

Bear in mind that if you and the guy back home do decide to make a go of this LDR, then you have to be careful not to overstep the mark with office romeo and get yourself in a right old mess!

 

[singer92286]

Thank you!!! See, I knew I'd find answers on here! I like that because it kind of tells the dorky guy to back off, but then if something happens with my cute office friend I don't totally seem like a hypocrite.

It's just a weird situation because the guy that asked me seems really sweet once you get to know him, but I'm just not attracted to him at all!! I don't want to seem shallow, but at the same time, I don't want to say yes to everything.

 

[kimmy]

it's not shallow; if there isn't mutual attraction, there just isn't mutual attraction.

i think blushbaby gave you some good advice. since you work with him, you have to kind of handle the situation with caution because you don't want to make an unpleasant working environment.

 

[melozburngr]

However, in addition to Blushbaby's advice, don't rush into hanging out with the office romeo, because then nerdy guy is totally think you're a bitch. On the other front, having done the office romance thing, beware. It's hard to see the person every single day if things end badly or don't work out. Trust me, I'm dealing with it every day.

 

[kittykit]

I'm with Blushbaby and melozburngr. I'm working in a male dominated environment and there are only 4 females in my team. I'm not against romance in the office but like melozburngr has said, beware. I know people who end up leaving their jobs after the office romance ends.

 

[singer92286]

Thanks ladies!!!

I'm not planning on heavily pursuing my office boy, but if he makes a move then I'm not going to shoot him down. I don't think I'm really flirting with him tons. I definitely understand that consequences as I had something similar happen to me in high school and I ended up quitting my job, which totally sucked. I told my colleague that asked me if I was taken exactly what you ladies said, and it did work perfectly, thank you so much. He then proceeded to apologize for asking me that and that he hoped we could still be friends and not have it be weird, which I appreciate. Obviously, he realized how awkward that was, which was nice.

Thanks again!!!