Bullying

[nunu]

Hi guys, i need some help.

One of my friends recently graduated from Law school and is currently doing her LPC (legal practise course) which she is finding very stressfull and challenging. The classes are small, there tends to be 20 people in each class. Unfortunately, yesterday at one of the classes a bunch of girls and guys started bullying her by saying that she stinks and that no one should sit by her. They actually moved away from her and told her that she smelled nasty like BO and period?? WTF?
Even one of the friends she made in the course confronted her and told her to invest in a perfume and a strong deodrant.

She's been crying her eyes out since. I mean we are not in school anymore, these people are in their 20's, recently graduated with a BSc!
I told her to ignore them and their stupid comments, but she is extremely hurt, i don't blame her, i would be as well. But the way that they are acting in is so extremely childish!
I am so helpless i don't know what to do or say to comfort her

.
I already told her to ignore them and focus on her studies, i know it is easy said than done. Any advice?

Thanks in advance.

 

[ohnna-lee]

Tell her to keep her eye on the prize. People will try and squeeze you out and you have to build a thicker skin. They are probably threatened by her intelligence. I would take it as a complement...


unless she really does stink then she might want to find a different deodorant. I am very aware, at times I stink but they are full grown and acting like little heathens! She can bring feminine wipes and change her liners between class but I think this is more of a case of envy then your friend having an odor problem.

People suck and they are trying to wear down your friend.

 

[TISH1124]

These are Grown-Ups that have gone to Law School!!!?? Are you friggin kidding!!! I am amazed

I really don't know how you help with this...I mean I have to ask..I know she is your friend...But have you noticed that she has a Odor...If so maybe you need to discuss it with her and help her figure out the problem that may be causing this odor. I honestly had a co-worker that had terrible BO...and I finally had to talk to her about it....and after I sat down and told her what everyone was saying and that I had noticed it to...she went to the doctor. Because she was bathing everyday but she had some sort of medical condition and the medicine she was taking was contributing to the odor. Some medicines for ADHD contribute to BO and bad breath issues as well. My son was on meds and I started to notice this and since I didn't want him on meds anyway...this was reason enough to find alternative forms of treatment other than medications. Cavities also contribute to odor.

If it is not the case ...and they are just being nasty...the only thing she can do is ignore them and try to be the bigger person. I know it must make her feel terrible....But she has to try and block them out and chalk it up to
Grown -Up A$$ jealousy and ignorance and hopefully when the course is over she won't ever have to deal with them again.

I feel awful for her...It's amazing that educated grown ups still be have like 1st graders.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Regardless of whether she smells (if you think that she does, I would kindly tell her about it), that's awful.

If it gets worse/happens again, I'd have her talk to the prof or someone like that about their harassment. I don't know what the hell their problem is, but they need to act right

 

[stronqerx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Regardless of whether she smells (if you think that she does, I would kindly tell her about it), that's awful. If it gets worse/happens again, I'd have her talk to the prof or someone like that about their harassment. I don't know what the hell their problem is, but they need to act right

THAT'S what im saying. I would tell them all to kiss my smelly ass...

 

[florabundance]

She should definitely say something to the professor. I really cannot believe that grown people would be so rude and hurtful.

There was a girl while I was at school, maybe at the age of 14, who was known to smell bad, and it was talked about etc. It was genuinely true, however. Someone wrote her a letter explaining the issue and that it wasn't an attack, and she also cried her eyes out. I mean, someone, much less a group of people, telling you that you smell is hardly going to sound good whichever way it is told....but what they did - as adults, at that - was very wrong and unfair.

 

[NicksWifey]

I have a friend who was in the nursing program a couple of years ago at school. Getting a bunch of young women and older women, trying to get their RN degree together, in the same classroom was complete hell. There were catfights like that everyday, girls saying other girls smelled like BO, were whores, were sleeping with the instructors, etc.
It's just a bunch of stupid bitches, being stupid bitches.

It seems like people can be so "cutthroat" in the classroom environment these days and that's really sad and pathetic.

 

[nunu]

Thanks for your replies everyone! I don't think she stinks, i always smell perfume off her. I just think they are being bullies for the hell of it and she is so hurt by it. She doesn't want to go to college on Monday

 

[OfficerJenny]

I used to be a victim to bullying a lot, and I found the only way to get them to stop is to confront them or say something back.

 

[MzzRach]

This is a completely hideous situation and utterly unacceptable. It's one thing to experience meanies and bullies when growing up, but I am astounded at this behavior by supposedly "grown up" people. It's deplorable.

I agree that she should keep her eye on the prize and rise above and ignore these evil c*nts (sorry, but that's what they are) but that is so hard to do when you are being maliciously attacked.

I'm so sorry your friend is going through this, I hope the situation improves. She is lucky to have a lovely supportive friend like you that she can at least get some comfort and support from.

 

[MACPixie]

That is horrible that educated adults would treat someone like that (especially if she really doesn't stink!). Tell her to keep her head held high, and remind herself how much better she is than them.

 

[ohnna-lee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nunu Thanks for your replies everyone! I don't think she stinks, i always smell perfume off her. I just think they are being bullies for the hell of it and she is so hurt by it. She doesn't want to go to college on Monday

Then they have accomplished their goal and I am very sorry to hear that these heathens won.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nunu Thanks for your replies everyone! I don't think she stinks, i always smell perfume off her. I just think they are being bullies for the hell of it and she is so hurt by it. She doesn't want to go to college on Monday

Try to convince her to go. By not going, they won. I understand sort of where she is coming from (one girl in my office acts like I'm not supposed to be there; ironically, she isn't, since she doesn't have a desk there!), but you have to go forward and ignore people like that. God only knows why they're intimidating her (they may feel threatened by her if she seems smart or like she's doing better in school than they), but she shouldn't let losers like them get in the way of her dreams

 

[Babylard]

wow, i thought law school would be a place of respect. i only started uni, so i haven't experienced any of the nasty yet.

well hey nunu, i think you are smart enough to know that your friend really does or does not have odor issues and it sounds like she smells like a garden of lillies with the perfume and all.

you can go with her on monday, and if people are giving her trouble, you could try to stick up for her. honestly, i can't believe these are adults. maybe she just needs someone to stand up for her. people love to victimize those that stand alone and its hard to defend yourself against a crowd. to me, they are threatened by her and just want to make her feel miserable. that is so lame.

at best, take it to the prof and let them know that she is being harrassed. all students are entitled to a safe, secure educational environment free of harrassment.

good luck to your friend =)

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stronqerx THAT'S what im saying. I would tell them all to kiss my smelly ass...

Hell yeah.

 

[malteze_bubbleg]

that is very immature of them, to be bullying her..especially since theyre old enough to know that its wrong. tell her not to feel down, she should be very confident and say something back to them...but not everyone can defend themselves....

can she speak to someone in the school that can help her....maybe someone can talk to these people....??

i know its hard cos u may not know what to do....tell her to be strong and ignore them.theyre just hateful people. i just hope she dont take it too extreme cos words can ruin a persons confidence and that can lead to other problems.i hope she really does stay strong and fight them back.

 

[mizzbeba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACPixie That is horrible that educated adults would treat someone like that (especially if she really doesn't stink!). Tell her to keep her head held high, and remind herself how much better she is than them.

you can pay for school but you can't buy class!!!

ITA that she has to remember that she's there for her education and to not let anyone stand in her way. Keep it classy baby!

 

[nunu]

Thanks everyone!

We spoke about it but there isn't much to say to cheer some one up. She wants to defend herself but doesn't know what to say. She is going to go tomorrow because she doesn't want to feel that they got to her and she doesn't want them to feel like they've won. I have told her that they are just being jelous and are just intimidated buy her.

She said she might talk to one of the tutors and make them aware of what's going on but we doubt that the tutors can do anything, i mean the students are grown ups even though they don't seem to be acting like they are, are they going to listen to the tutors? Or are they going to think oh she went and told on us lets bully her more?

It is a really sad situation to be in. She's a very bublly, chatty character and you always see her laughing and this is the first time i've seen her down.

I told her that she is there to study, walk into class listen to the tutors and leave. Don't socialize with these idiots. I know how she feels because i have been bullied throughout school myself and i was so happy and releived when it was over and it was time to start University. To have this go on at an age where you are meant to have achieved personal growth and are meant to be act in life as a mature person just ticks me off!

I have always wondered why do bullies bully? What do they achieve? Satisfaction? How do you achieve satisfaction by bringning someone else down and pick on them?

Urghhh

 

[florabundance]

Is there any chance that you could go with her?
Maybe a bit early, and explain to the professors what happened.
The thing is, my brother is studying for his LPC, and from the sounds of it, the student/teacher relationship is quite impersonal, because as you said, everybody's grown up (or so you'd think), and many are in employment.

But that said, my cousin had a problem where girls (in her last year of uni) were being quite rude and generally bitchy towards her - not outrightly insulting her like these idiots, but treating her badly - and she spoke to her professor about it, and the problem got sorted out.

I just find this genuinely sad and surprising

 

[ohnna-lee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by florabundance Is there any chance that you could go with her? Maybe a bit early, and explain to the professors what happened. The thing is, my brother is studying for his LPC, and from the sounds of it, the student/teacher relationship is quite impersonal, because as you said, everybody's grown up (or so you'd think), and many are in employment. But that said, my cousin had a problem where girls (in her last year of uni) were being quite rude and generally bitchy towards her - not outrightly insulting her like these idiots, but treating her badly - and she spoke to her professor about it, and the problem got sorted out. I just find this genuinely sad and surprising

Adults or not, they are supposed to provide you with a pleasant learning evironment. Harassment isn't tolerated out in the workforce and the schools shouldn't be any different. Goes to show that people don't grow out of behaviors... but now they are responsible for them. So go get em.