gah!! so irritated!

[asnbrb]

Okay girls and boys-- I'm sorry for putting you through this, but I really need to VENT.

See, I'm going to a wedding at the end of next month. The wedding is for my boyfriend's friend and his girlfriend (who, btw- hardly any of them can stand).

It's already going to cost much more than it would to attend a normal, in the area wedding. Not only do we need to fly out (and stay at a fancy schmancy hotel), but we just find out (literally JUST find out) that they decided that they wanted my BF as the best man.

Okay, so I'm fine with basically going there by myself. It won't be the first time. The part that kind of pisses me off is that I receive a myspace invitation to her bridal shower from her FIANCE.

Now, let's review the facts:
1.) I don't even know her last name
2.) I don't like her that much
3.) I've spoken to her MAYBE twenty times in FOUR YEARS, never once hung out with her, and honestly, this seems like it's fishing for presents
4.) They said that the paper invite got "returned to them", so that's the reason that I received a myspace one.
4a.) They don't know my address. Hell, my boyfriend can't even remember my address. I'm not listed in the phone book, so where the hell did they send this invitation?! They never asked me for my physical address, so I know it was never coming to my house.
5.) And for the real winner on why I'm pissed-- I tell the BF what happened and that I'm not going (I have a bday party to attend at the same time anyway, thank God) and he actually has the nerve to say "Why can't you just show up to 'show face'?"
Uh, hello? Why should I? Why should I make the effort for someone I barely even know just because she's going to marry YOUR friend (not my friend, YOUR friend)? It's a good 45-1 hr drive (with no traffic and at that time of day, yes there will be traffic) between where the bridal shower is being held to where my friend's bday party is (and might I add, I've known my friend since SEVENTH GRADE

Okay, I just had to rant. I'm actually quite irritated that my BF wanted me to go (he even had the nerve to pull the "well, so and so is going" card) when that girl's never once tried to talk to me as someone other than "the BF's girlfriend" grr.


thanks for listening (err... reading)

 

[prinzessin784]

that's ridiculous, I'd be pissed off too.

It's really poor etiquette to ask someone to commit financially to be a best man with such short notice, not to mention just plain rude and selfish!

If I were you I'd send your regrets through Myspace (haha that's so lame) and then mail them a congratulations card. If they're not your friends you have no obligation to attend. Your boyfriend does - but that's his choice. I would pass on it and hopefully they'll realize how rude they have been.

 

[Beauty Mark]

My policy with people is whoever makes a request for plans first is the people I spend my time with, unless it's something like a funeral, major injury, etc. Something unexpected and very important, in other words. If you're not responsible enough to tell me ahead time, that's your fault.

People get upset over this policy, but I hate when people change/cancel plans with me because something else comes up. It's like saying "Fuck you, you're not that important, so I can blow you off like that." It's one of my major pet peeves.

I would send a card to them, saying that you regret that you couldn't attend. If you're up to it, maybe send a small gift.

 

[asnbrb]

I actually sent the fiance back a reply on myspace, saying that I was unable to attend. There was a number to call to RSVP, but I don't know the girl and I have a major case of laryngitis right now.

I'm going to the wedding because the BF is paying for travel/hotel expenses. The hotel is usually $400+ a night to stay and they're getting a deal with $188. And just think that this is the same friggin wedding that not too long ago, I happened to mention that "one should never show up the bride" during the wedding.

The BF's response? "Baby, it won't take much and I don't care if you show her up or not."

 

[*Luna*]

Ummm... Doesn't anyone read etiquette books anymore?

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Luna* Ummm... Doesn't anyone read etiquette books anymore?

lol... Your joking right?

Do you also read good housekeeping, and how to be his perfect wife? LOL...

 

[*Luna*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae lol... Your joking right? Do you also read good housekeeping, and how to be his perfect wife? LOL...

Yes, actually I am serious. When you are getting married... if you want it to be classy and well done... then there are certain things that you should and shouldn't do. There are many modern etiquette books out there specifically for brides to help them do everything in an appropriate manner. There are many important details that should be followed so you don't make yourself look like an asshat while planning the most important day of your life. It makes you look stupid and immature, not to mention uneducated when you make those kinds of mistakes.

I really don't appreciate your snarky remark regarding my abilities as a wife. I consider myself a damn good wife and that is completely different than event planning and you had no right to bring that up. It's has nothing to do with this post.

 

[Willa]

I understand why you're upset.
You must feel an obligation to go, just because of a missunderstanding.
Do you have to give them a gift or something?

 

[asnbrb]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willa I understand why you're upset. You must feel an obligation to go, just because of a missunderstanding. Do you have to give them a gift or something?

Honestly, Willa? They're my BOYFRIEND'S FRIENDS. I didn't ask him to give a gift when my friends got married, so there's noooo way in hell that I'd buy them shit (especially since I hardly know her). At his last friend's wedding (that he was in the party), he remembered to give me cash for the card. I best be getting some for this one.

Plus, I took a gander at their wedding registries that they oh-so-helpfully included in the myspace invite. Yeah. Like I can afford Wedgwood.

and *Luna*, I'm sure Raerae was just joking. I'm also damn well sure that she would think that she knows everything in those books. You'd think with the amount of $$ that's being dropped for this wedding, that she'd at least put some of that toward a book or two.

 

[Willa]

But in some way, if my boyfriend's friends were getting maried, I'd be happy to go. Depending on the way the invitation would be made.

Do not take it wrong, but you dont seem to like them a lot, dont you?

 

[asnbrb]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willa But in some way, if my boyfriend's friends were getting maried, I'd be happy to go. Depending on the way the invitation would be made. Do not take it wrong, but you dont seem to like them a lot, dont you?

I totally know what you mean, Willa, and I don't take offence in the least. To put it simply, I like HIM, not her. She does have her moments of senility, but there's times where she's just plain rude as hell (like when she makes a big fuss over where they're moving the bed... when she doesn't lift a finger to help)

I don't mind going to the wedding. My BF and I have been together for four years, so it's not the first that I've been to on "his side".

BUT, as I did say: they're my BF's friends (I just had to look up her last name to look for the gift registry). You know how you know people through your BF and only through your BF? They're clearly his friends and you're friends with them THROUGH HIM. If the two of us break up, they're going to remain HIS FRIENDS, not mine (and there's friends that are "my friends"). They didn't know me before the relationship and probably would never talk to me if I wasn't going out with him. Don't get me wrong- they're far from the only ones that are "his friends" and I do have friends that started out as "his friends" and quickly turned into "our friends". (To me, "our friends" are those people that I'd never ever EVER feel uncomfortable hanging out with without the BF and that I'd probably end up friends with anyway.) Those are the ones that I'd throw in money for the card or actually hunt down a gift that I'd know that they'd like when the BF has time.

Does that make sense? Oh, and by the way, I've never seen the invite, so I don't know how it was made. It probably went straight to his house and I THINK that they have my name on it because they asked the BF what my last name was when they were first doing all this. I think the "save the date" went to his house.

 

[Willa]

Its a sad situation

But I understand your point