Indigowaters
Well-known member
Hey ya’ll, I just wanted to know if you all had suggestions on letting someone know that you’re interested without being too forward. How do you ask a guy out while leaving a way out to avoid rejection?
How to ask a guy out...
- Thread starter Indigowaters
- Start date
Shimmer
Well-known member
This is assuming you know him somewhat or have spoken before...
Girl: smalltalk smalltalk smalltalk
Guy: yada yada yada
Girl: ok, well, here's my cell number/phone number/email address...give me a call or drop me an email if you ever want to go do something.
Guy: Thanks!
Unless he's just absolutely NOT interested or a complete dolt, you'll get the email or call.
Girl: smalltalk smalltalk smalltalk
Guy: yada yada yada
Girl: ok, well, here's my cell number/phone number/email address...give me a call or drop me an email if you ever want to go do something.
Guy: Thanks!
Unless he's just absolutely NOT interested or a complete dolt, you'll get the email or call.
user79
Well-known member
Shimmer's approach is one way but I think being a bit more direct will give him a stronger message. I mean, giving him your number or ways to contact is letting him know you are interested, yes, but it's not really asking him out either. It's leaving the ball in his court, so if he never calls you'll be wondering why.
Do you know what he may be interested in? Like when you are having a conversation, what do you talk about? Find out what he likes...maybe he's into sports or something, and you can see if he wants to go to a game with you. Or maybe he's into....er...I don't know, art! Tell him there's a cool exhibition going on at a museum, and if he would like to go with you? That way it's not like, "Will you go on a date with me?" Which may be really formal, but more like spending time together and getting to know each other in a more casual setting, then you can see if there is chemistry. I always think dinner dates are not the best way to get to know someone on a 1st date because it's so formal and both people are nervous and not acting themselves.
Do you know what he may be interested in? Like when you are having a conversation, what do you talk about? Find out what he likes...maybe he's into sports or something, and you can see if he wants to go to a game with you. Or maybe he's into....er...I don't know, art! Tell him there's a cool exhibition going on at a museum, and if he would like to go with you? That way it's not like, "Will you go on a date with me?" Which may be really formal, but more like spending time together and getting to know each other in a more casual setting, then you can see if there is chemistry. I always think dinner dates are not the best way to get to know someone on a 1st date because it's so formal and both people are nervous and not acting themselves.
Raerae
Well-known member
flirt flirt flirt lol...
give him compliments... tease him... whatever heh, just keep chatting him up. Any man worth dating should get the hint your into him.
I'm not a big fan of asking men out, thats their job =P I figure if the guy can't get the hint that I'm into him, he's eigther not confident enough for me, or not interested.
I also hate when guys give me their number and are like, "if you wanna do something, let me know." I NEVER call them. I like being asked out directly. Even better, i like it when a guy tells me where/when were going.
Granted i always reserve the right to turn him down, but nothing is hotter than a guy you like walking up to you and saying, "Were going out to ______ tonight (or whenever he plans it, better be soon lol), be ready by ____ time. Confidence like that in a Man is so sexy.
give him compliments... tease him... whatever heh, just keep chatting him up. Any man worth dating should get the hint your into him.
I'm not a big fan of asking men out, thats their job =P I figure if the guy can't get the hint that I'm into him, he's eigther not confident enough for me, or not interested.
I also hate when guys give me their number and are like, "if you wanna do something, let me know." I NEVER call them. I like being asked out directly. Even better, i like it when a guy tells me where/when were going.
Granted i always reserve the right to turn him down, but nothing is hotter than a guy you like walking up to you and saying, "Were going out to ______ tonight (or whenever he plans it, better be soon lol), be ready by ____ time. Confidence like that in a Man is so sexy.
Indigowaters
Well-known member
I guess I mean how to drop the hint but not really ask him out, cause I don't believe in asking guys out either. It's just that I'm so painstakingly shy (and afraid of rejection) that I don't know what to do to give a guy a hint that I like him. I guess you could say I'm a VERY late bloomer when it comes to this. But the suggestions have been great. Keep them coming!
Indigowaters
Well-known member
From church.
Indigowaters
Well-known member
Yeah. He is. We're friends. He flirts with me all the time but I'm not sure if it means anything because he's such an affectionate person and alot of women like him. I don't know if I'm the only one he flirts with, so I'd rather not put myself out there and just be another #.
Raerae
Well-known member
Attractive men never flirt with just one girl
As far as other girls liking him, think about it. If he's a good catch, and your into him, it's safe to say that other girls probably feel the same.
If you dont wanna take the initiative, just be flirty then. Make a lot of eye-contact. When he catches you looking at him, dont look away right away, give him a smile after looking him in the eye, then break eye contact. Every guy on earth thinks that if a girl smiles at him, they wanna sleep with him, use it to your advantage =P
When your talking to him, make small talk, but make it about him. Ask him questions about stuff you dont know, but want too, make him feel important. Ask him what his hobies and interests are, ask him what he likes to do AFTER Church/Work. Thats a totall easy way in for him to ask you out, without you having to ask him. You gotta help em out sometimes.
Give him compliments, thats super important. Invide his personal space a little bit when your talking. You know how it is, people we dont wanna deal with we stand farther away from, so get a little closer to him. Not like up on him or anything, but maybe just a 1/2 a step closer than your normally would.
I personally like teasing guys i'm into. Especially if there people i know as friends first. They usually tease me back. Nothing mean or anything. Just playful teasing that makes people laugh.
You can also flirt with other guys you know, when you know he can see you. Make him jealous. If your never flirting with anyone else, it just tells him your 100% avail, and he can take his sweet time, cuz you'll still be waiting (especially if he knows you like him).
If you dont wanna take the initiative, just be flirty then. Make a lot of eye-contact. When he catches you looking at him, dont look away right away, give him a smile after looking him in the eye, then break eye contact. Every guy on earth thinks that if a girl smiles at him, they wanna sleep with him, use it to your advantage =P
When your talking to him, make small talk, but make it about him. Ask him questions about stuff you dont know, but want too, make him feel important. Ask him what his hobies and interests are, ask him what he likes to do AFTER Church/Work. Thats a totall easy way in for him to ask you out, without you having to ask him. You gotta help em out sometimes.
Give him compliments, thats super important. Invide his personal space a little bit when your talking. You know how it is, people we dont wanna deal with we stand farther away from, so get a little closer to him. Not like up on him or anything, but maybe just a 1/2 a step closer than your normally would.
I personally like teasing guys i'm into. Especially if there people i know as friends first. They usually tease me back. Nothing mean or anything. Just playful teasing that makes people laugh.
You can also flirt with other guys you know, when you know he can see you. Make him jealous. If your never flirting with anyone else, it just tells him your 100% avail, and he can take his sweet time, cuz you'll still be waiting (especially if he knows you like him).
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
I think you ought to take the initiative to ask him out. A lot of guys fear rejection or are oblivious. You can just ask him out to coffee and be flirty then. Dinner and a movie also works. It doesn't have to be anything complicated or fancy.
Hawkeye
Well-known member
Go up to him and give him a business letter that reads:
Dear (his name),
It has come to my attention that you are exceptionally hot. Due to the fact that I know you through church I have realized we both share the same value systems. If you are willing to become apart of the team (Team your name) then please let me know.
Regards,
You're future wife.
LOL
OK Sorry no dont really do that.
The best thing to do is to walk up to him and do some small talk and just say, if your not doing anything friday night maybe we could do something?
Or maybe just say, " you have a gorgeous smile" and see what happens with that.
I dunno I'm running out of ideas.
Or just go up to him, get in his face and say, "I like you. We're dating."
But please do not send a note that says: Do you love me? Do you wanna be my friend? If you do, then dont be afraid to take me by the hand, I think this is how love goes: Check yes or no.
Dear (his name),
It has come to my attention that you are exceptionally hot. Due to the fact that I know you through church I have realized we both share the same value systems. If you are willing to become apart of the team (Team your name) then please let me know.
Regards,
You're future wife.
LOL
OK Sorry no dont really do that.
The best thing to do is to walk up to him and do some small talk and just say, if your not doing anything friday night maybe we could do something?
Or maybe just say, " you have a gorgeous smile" and see what happens with that.
I dunno I'm running out of ideas.
Or just go up to him, get in his face and say, "I like you. We're dating."
But please do not send a note that says: Do you love me? Do you wanna be my friend? If you do, then dont be afraid to take me by the hand, I think this is how love goes: Check yes or no.
Bre
Well-known member
You may not want to ask him out but sometimes you have to be a little bit assertive to get what you want
Personally I never use to ask out guys but then I thought, why should they make all the calls? The most important part is confidence, look him in the eye, you are well worth him going out on a date with! Keep it casual, after church if you have an opportunity and he's alone (very important) cruise on up and mention that you were about to go have a coffee, take a walk, check out the new book shop up the road, maybe it would be fun if he came as well. Another good one is, and I'm generalizing here, sports. They looove their sports, is there a game on? Maybe you could go together?
If all this sounds too intimidating, how about the social club? Does your church have one? If not get it going! Who knows there maybe other sexy church-goers you haven't even noticed yet..
To sum up - asking someone out is always a risk, for both the dude and the dudette, if he says no put into persective, it's not so bad. You tell yourself no worries I gave it a shot, come to think of it his ears do stick out a little too much and start checking out what else is around you.
Good luck!! Let us know how you go!
Personally I never use to ask out guys but then I thought, why should they make all the calls? The most important part is confidence, look him in the eye, you are well worth him going out on a date with! Keep it casual, after church if you have an opportunity and he's alone (very important) cruise on up and mention that you were about to go have a coffee, take a walk, check out the new book shop up the road, maybe it would be fun if he came as well. Another good one is, and I'm generalizing here, sports. They looove their sports, is there a game on? Maybe you could go together?
If all this sounds too intimidating, how about the social club? Does your church have one? If not get it going! Who knows there maybe other sexy church-goers you haven't even noticed yet..
To sum up - asking someone out is always a risk, for both the dude and the dudette, if he says no put into persective, it's not so bad. You tell yourself no worries I gave it a shot, come to think of it his ears do stick out a little too much and start checking out what else is around you.
Good luck!! Let us know how you go!
LisaR
Well-known member
I agree with Beauty Mark on this one. Take the initiative and go for it. I mean, what's the WORST than can happen if he says no? You won't get sick. You won't die. You'll still be friends though it might be a little weird at first...but it will more than likely work itself out. Chances are 50/50 he may be feeling the same way. I think guys fear rejection as much if not worse than women do.
It took me 2 weeks to get my "now" husband to ask me out. It will be 10 years next March that we've been married and he's still my HERO! I love him fiercely and, in fact we were just talking about getting married all over again just tonight.
Go ahead...ask him out to lunch after church, to go to bible study with you, out to coffee, to an art exhibit...whatever. You've everything to gain and nothing to lose. I'm rootin' for ya!
It took me 2 weeks to get my "now" husband to ask me out. It will be 10 years next March that we've been married and he's still my HERO! I love him fiercely and, in fact we were just talking about getting married all over again just tonight.
Go ahead...ask him out to lunch after church, to go to bible study with you, out to coffee, to an art exhibit...whatever. You've everything to gain and nothing to lose. I'm rootin' for ya!
