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Originally Posted by Lizzie
I feel your pain! I have to move back in with my parents (in SF too, no less) after I graduate.
The way I look at it (so I don't feel so sad about it) is that at least I'll be in SF (pro store, anyone? haha), I can work and save money to move out later, and I can pay back my student loans faster.
I have the same fears as you (that it'll be like high school all over again), but I guess we'll just have to draw the line and stay firm.
Good luck with everything! And know you're not suffering alone
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It's a relief to hear that others are going through similar problems..not that I'm happy you have this problem but u know what i mean!! i feel SO damn guilty when I disobey my mother. I know I'm an adult now and I can technically do whatever I want but there is still a level of respect I feel I need to have toward my mother...
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Originally Posted by Khalia25
I'm sorry about your situation. It's so hard when you're financially dependent on your parents. I was in the same situation for a looong time. I took a TRILLION years to finish college, and my parents supported me the entire time. They live in Japan, and I'm here in Texas, but they still had tight reigns from allllll the way over there. I initially was going to school in Georgia, but I got into a little trouble, and they pretty much forced me to move to Texas...I was kickin and screaming the whole way. My parents paid my Aunt and Uncle (who live in Houston) to get me out of Georgia and bring me here to Texas. Maaan..I was chillin one day, and I get a message on my voicemail: "This is your aunt...we're half way to Georgia...we're coming to get you"
I had no clue. My parents pulled a sneak attack on me. LOL. So man, I had to break my lease and just pack up everything in 2 days and leave. WOW. And my parents' control continued at 50% after I finished school and started working. Now their control is down to about 5%...but that's only because I'm married. LOL I know it should be at 0%, but I just feel indebted to them after ALLLL those years they carried me. So I understand your dilemma...you're torn. You want to respect your mother, but at the same time, you want her to respect yoru freedom and independence. And I don't know if your mother is the typical Asian mother, but if she is...I sooooo feel you!! They don't make it easy AT ALLLL. My mother married a black man...so you'd think she knows how to think outside the box, but nope...she is still very traditional.
Okay...sorry...I digressed a lot from the original subject. Can you move back in with your mother temporarily...maybe for about 6 months while you get on your feet?? I remember your other post about your boyfriend's mother...she seems like she's a little controlling, also...so is it possible for you to get a place with your boyfriend? Or is there a midpoint between SF and So Cal you can live?
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Thanks for taking ur time to respond to this...Unfortunately, I will only live in SF or So Cal because Central Cal is really really boring and I'd actually rather be in SF instead. Haha (no offense to anybody from Cen Cal)...I think I'm gonna take your advice and move back home temporarily (6 months - 1 year) and just save up as much money as possible.
And yes, my mother is the epitome of a traditional Asian mom. Unfortunately, she's very stubborn and not open to discussion...Sigh.
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Originally Posted by TISH1127
What I was gonna suggest exactly....If your bf's parents let you stay still get a job so that you can contribute to your living expenses that way you do not feel so guilty by living there...you will be pulling your own load. My parents allowed my SIl to live with them while my brother and her were still in college....Maybe because my son is 7 and he is still my baby...I don't think I would be that liberal and allow it...But who knows once he gets chest hair I may change my stance lol. I always think two dating grown-ups need to be in their own place
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I totally agree!! That's why I think I'd feel super awkward EVERYDAY if I were to live at my bf's parents' place. Sucks to not be able to be on my own.
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Originally Posted by BEA2LS
i had to move back home before, it sucked.. but when i started working full time my parents got a lot less controlling and i was able to get my own place.
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Yea hopefully my mother will get off my case once I get a job.
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Originally Posted by pink_lily82
I feel your pain sweetie! My mom is desperate for me to move back home too. I'm in the midst of trying to find a job in the midwest (since it's where my bf lives) and it's mega difficult right now, even though I'm in the health care field. My mom wants me to move home and find a job there and I hate that idea. We haven't had the greatest relationship growing up b/c she is very controlling and critical of every aspect of my life. I'm 26 and have gone through 8 years of college/professional school and still get treated like I'm a little child. She feels like she has to control everything and everyone around her and unfortunately, she will never change.
Getting a job will hopefully show your mom that you are serious about being independent and responsible. It's hard because you don't want to disappoint your mother but you want to be able to make your own decisions about your life. Good luck with everything!
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Thank you for the adivce. I'm gonna do what you advised. Hopefully I can get a damn job. It's not looking good in this stupid economy.
Another thing is I really don't like my major. It's Business Economics. I feel like everything is theoretical and not practical. Ugh...I wish I could just be a professional makeup artist already!
