beautifulxface
Active member
I'm really upset and needing to vent...
I just found out tonight, September 12, 2009. That my birth father, Brian is now in jail and charged with first-degree murder. He shot his ex-girlfriend Lisa, multiple times and killed her on a beach in Washington. It was public - four o'clock in the evening. There were witnesses...
I'm really numb right now.
I never knew Brian until 2007. And these past two years have been hell for me and my family, of all the crazy things he put us through.
My Mother and him were first together, she was eventually pregnant with me. I was born. He was a police man at the time...though was later kicked out, relieved, not sure of the exact word...for reportedly being unstable. We've assumed since that he is Bi Polar, though that's never been confirmed..
He wanted nothing to do with me. He threatened and harassed my Mother and my grandparents. He signed off on the papers, that said he didn't want me, and also didn't want to be on my birth certificate or pay child support. That's how I saw him growing up. That I was unwanted.
My Mother married the person I call my father when I was 3 years old. I don't consider him to be my adopted Father anymore...especially now, through everything that's happened...I know, that family doesn't always have to be blood..
My Mom told me about Brian when I was about 7 or 8. I've seen pictures of myself at my Mom and Dad's wedding...And I found out when I was around 16 that all those years he had been trying to get in contact with me again. When I was 17, my parents allowed me to contact him and try to get a hold of him. I wanted to get to know him, why he rejected me like he did and if I could try to have a relationship with him.
We communicated through email for a bit, before we met, my Mom and Dad drove me up..we met at the Sacramento Zoo. I met up with him, he was crying. Saying how happy he was about meeting me. ..He knew about my interest in photography, and gave me a four-thousand dollar SLR camera as a present.
He seemed nice, maybe even changed...from the person that my Mom had told me about. When we first went to meet him, she was terrified, even to get out of the car. She just didn't want anything to do with him.
Then, while we were out with him, he then told us he owned a boat company in Oregon, he was successful...and he had ten million dollars to his name. He was rich.
We talked for another month. He came down and visited several times. I went up to Oregon and visited his family, meeting his parents, his sister, his daughter. We talked about my dream of owning my own horse, something that I nor my family could afford at the time. I had been riding consistently for six years and it was something that I had always wanted. He promised to buy me a horse, a car, ...he said he had put me in a trust fund. I was so excited.
But then things started to get twisted. All of this time Brian and my Mother had been talking, on the phone, emailing. I was told it was because my parents wanted to be informed of what was going on between the two of us as well.
Brain's mother passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. He had me to come up and attend the funeral, I was listed in the obituary as a grandchild.
My mother and I agreed and went up to see him, my younger sister also came with us. We stayed with my grandmother a few nights before going up to Roseburg. My Mother told me, out of the blue that she wasn't happy with my Dad and wanted to leave him for Brian. She told me that she still loved him.
My first response when she told me how she felt, was yes, go ahead and leave him. Get a divorce if you hate your marriage so much...It's something that I regret and feel horrible about to this day..
The matter was hushed. I didn't say a thing, to anyone.
We went to the funeral. He was odd for me, because I never knew his Mother. I sat up in the front with Brian and his father, and the rest of his family members. He cried through the entire service.
I went back to the hotel that Brian had bought for me and my Mother. They went out back to discuss a few things, then we went out to his house...it was full of everyone from the funeral. He had a huge house, as well as a lake, a tennis court. It was like something you only see in movies, like a Hollywood house.
My Mother was envious of it, I know she had always wanted nicer things, more money. We stayed about a week or so more, and in that time everything happened so fast...
I remember being pulled aside in Brian's office, my Mom and Him sat down and told me that they were planning to get married. Get a house. I was going to have a horse, a stable, all kinds of things. My sister wasn't involved in any of this talk. It was just going to be the three of us. (Did I mention that Brian was still married himself at this time. His wife was filing divorce papers at the time, but it wasn't final yet. He also has an adopted daughter)
This, mind you, was only days after his Mother's funeral.
My Mom had made up her mind and told me that she was coming home, packing up her things and leaving my Dad. I didn't know what to think at that time. ...My sister didn't have a clue. She came home and told my Dad that she was leaving him. He was an emotional wreck..no warning.
My sister (who was at the house with my Mom - I wasn't there, I wanted to stay at a friends house, I didn't want to go) told me that as she was pulling out of the driveway my Dad was crying and pleading with her to stay, trying to grab the car handle and open the door. My Mom was screaming at him to get off and telling him that if he comes and finds us she's calling the police.
My Mom picked me up and took the three of us to a Hotel in the next town. We stayed there for almost two weeks. I was getting really sick, nasueous over all of this. I get upset over things easily and this really put me over the edge. I'd stopped eating towards the end of the second week. My sister left to be with my Dad by that point and it was just my Mother and me.
My Mom and I got into a fight, I was screaming at her...telling her how this was affecting me, how sick I was and how emotionally hard this was on me. She called my Dad, and I eventually was taken to Kazier.
I told them how sick I was and they told me they were calling an ambulance over to transport me to a medical home (I had a discussion with my counselor before, about going to a home, months before this, because of my issues with self harm and cutting, so this is why they suggested it). I thought it was just some place were I could rest and get better.
I was put into a young adult mental institution, NEXT to a hospital. Double bolted locks on the doors, everything that I had was taken away from me. It was terrifying. None of the nurses listened to me when I told them that I wasn't supposed to be there. I was sick. Not mentally ill.
I was treated horribly. I was denied ice chips by three nurses. The woman who gave them to me, gave it to me in a used cup. (There was food in the bottom of it.)
I repeatedly told them that I was sick and had been throwing up. There was nothing left in my stomach and by the second day I was vomiting stomach acid and blood. I had been told when I got there on the first day that I was going to recieve a shot to help me feel better.
I was on the floor when one of the girls from my room found me vomiting again, and she was screaming at one of the nurses to call someone from the hospital to come over. They finally did, a half hour before visiting hours. They told me I needed to get off the floor because my Dad was coming to see me. I'm still assuming that it was just for appearances.
My Dad came by, and saw how sick I was. I told him that I wanted out and that I couldn't stay there any longer. By law, someone admitted is supposed to stay for a full 72 hours.
Visiting hours are an hour long, but my Dad was asked to leave twenty minutes early. He complained, and I found out earlier he stay in the outside the admitting room for four hours, calling my doctor and counselor to work with Kazier and get me out.
He fought and eventually did. I was released that afternoon.
My Mother never called or came and saw me. Brian came down the day I was admitted and stayed the night with her.
My Mother stayed in the apartment Brian had been renting for her, as well as a car and everything else she wanted. She went up to see him every weekend.
I was still being bribed with money and a horse. He even went as far as having his "personal assistant" drive down and see about buying the 2 Million Dollar ranch that I ride at. I rejected all of that and he retaliated by yanking everything out from under me. And told me that I was removed from his Trust.
My Dad and I were harassed by Brian. More so my Dad, belittling him, telling him that my Mother never really loved him. Brian signed all of his emails as 'Big B.'
Months later she made the decision to go and live with him. Soon after that she came to my grandma's house. Telling her that she had left Brian. My Dad was overjoyed when he find out he was getting his wife back.
Soon that day, Brian left her messages, they weren't nice..I can't remember exactly what about. He also left me a message. A voice mail saying that my Mother was going to commit suicide because of me, and that I was being so selfish in wanting her back. I needed to grow up and act like an adult. That my Mother still loves him (Brian) and is only coming home to be with my Sister and I. He ended the message saying he never wanted to speak or see me ever again.
My Mom came home. But only a month and a half before she left again, saying she couldn't deal with it anymore and had to leave. Packing up and taking a flight out to be with Brian. I got the news when I was on a road trip with friends, my Dad was sobbing, telling me that she left again.
She left. But came back three days later. Completely upset and withdrawn. He brought her up just to tell her that it was over between them and that he couldn't take her back.
We found out through his now ex-wife that he was seeing another woman, just within the Month. Lisa.
In the beginning of March we found out that the FBI had seized his Company, North River for Wire Fraud of 3.2 Million Dollars. He inflated his inventory to Wells Fargo, a whopping Seven/Eight Million in 07' and increased to Ten Million later on, that he had -borrowed- - He never was a millionaire. That was company money.
He surrendered all of his assets and left the company, leaving Oregon and going to Washington with Lisa.
Leaving 100+ people out of a job, including his father. He had also not paid the health insurance for the company. So all of his employee's were out of a job, with no health insurance.
We found out that Lisa and Brian were engaged and his house was for sale. (His father also lived on the property.)
In June, American Express sued him for a half a million dollars, for racking up the company's Gold Card.
And now, today we found out he killed his ex-fiance'.
...My emotions are so jumbled. I'm SO extremely relieved that he's in jail, without bail. Something that could put him away for life. I've been frightened ever since he left us, and finding out that His girlfriend, Lisa left him that he might come after us.... I feel selfish...because I'm thankful it wasn't my Mother, or me...my Dad, my sister...
But I knew Lisa. I met her...once, right before I stopped talking with Brian. They had both come down...he was in Sacramento, doing a boat show. I wanted to see if Brian had changed at all, and maybe I could have a relationship with him. ..She was so kind and upbeat, and very opinionated...she didn't seem to just, agree with everything that was spewed out of his mouth. I didn't understand why she was with him. I only assumed then, it was for the money.
She even tried to keep in contact with me after I had dropped all with Brian, but I just gave her the cold shoulder for the most part...he was so manipulative with my Mother when she was with him, that I didn't trust either of them...I barely knew her.
Last I heard, when his company went under the two of them were living in Long Beach. Just a week or so ago I found out that she had filed a restraining order against Him, he had been threatening to burn down their house and kill her...But the order was never served because they didn't know where he was.
It's so surreal. Mind-numbing. I thought that maybe venting and writing this out would help. But it doesn't. And nothing I can do or say will bring Lisa back.
I just feel sick.
And I know that I've never hated anyone in my life more than I hate Brian Brush. This man is not my father.
I hope he rots in jail.
I just found out tonight, September 12, 2009. That my birth father, Brian is now in jail and charged with first-degree murder. He shot his ex-girlfriend Lisa, multiple times and killed her on a beach in Washington. It was public - four o'clock in the evening. There were witnesses...
I'm really numb right now.
I never knew Brian until 2007. And these past two years have been hell for me and my family, of all the crazy things he put us through.
My Mother and him were first together, she was eventually pregnant with me. I was born. He was a police man at the time...though was later kicked out, relieved, not sure of the exact word...for reportedly being unstable. We've assumed since that he is Bi Polar, though that's never been confirmed..
He wanted nothing to do with me. He threatened and harassed my Mother and my grandparents. He signed off on the papers, that said he didn't want me, and also didn't want to be on my birth certificate or pay child support. That's how I saw him growing up. That I was unwanted.
My Mother married the person I call my father when I was 3 years old. I don't consider him to be my adopted Father anymore...especially now, through everything that's happened...I know, that family doesn't always have to be blood..
My Mom told me about Brian when I was about 7 or 8. I've seen pictures of myself at my Mom and Dad's wedding...And I found out when I was around 16 that all those years he had been trying to get in contact with me again. When I was 17, my parents allowed me to contact him and try to get a hold of him. I wanted to get to know him, why he rejected me like he did and if I could try to have a relationship with him.
We communicated through email for a bit, before we met, my Mom and Dad drove me up..we met at the Sacramento Zoo. I met up with him, he was crying. Saying how happy he was about meeting me. ..He knew about my interest in photography, and gave me a four-thousand dollar SLR camera as a present.
He seemed nice, maybe even changed...from the person that my Mom had told me about. When we first went to meet him, she was terrified, even to get out of the car. She just didn't want anything to do with him.
Then, while we were out with him, he then told us he owned a boat company in Oregon, he was successful...and he had ten million dollars to his name. He was rich.
We talked for another month. He came down and visited several times. I went up to Oregon and visited his family, meeting his parents, his sister, his daughter. We talked about my dream of owning my own horse, something that I nor my family could afford at the time. I had been riding consistently for six years and it was something that I had always wanted. He promised to buy me a horse, a car, ...he said he had put me in a trust fund. I was so excited.
But then things started to get twisted. All of this time Brian and my Mother had been talking, on the phone, emailing. I was told it was because my parents wanted to be informed of what was going on between the two of us as well.
Brain's mother passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. He had me to come up and attend the funeral, I was listed in the obituary as a grandchild.
My mother and I agreed and went up to see him, my younger sister also came with us. We stayed with my grandmother a few nights before going up to Roseburg. My Mother told me, out of the blue that she wasn't happy with my Dad and wanted to leave him for Brian. She told me that she still loved him.
My first response when she told me how she felt, was yes, go ahead and leave him. Get a divorce if you hate your marriage so much...It's something that I regret and feel horrible about to this day..
The matter was hushed. I didn't say a thing, to anyone.
We went to the funeral. He was odd for me, because I never knew his Mother. I sat up in the front with Brian and his father, and the rest of his family members. He cried through the entire service.
I went back to the hotel that Brian had bought for me and my Mother. They went out back to discuss a few things, then we went out to his house...it was full of everyone from the funeral. He had a huge house, as well as a lake, a tennis court. It was like something you only see in movies, like a Hollywood house.
My Mother was envious of it, I know she had always wanted nicer things, more money. We stayed about a week or so more, and in that time everything happened so fast...
I remember being pulled aside in Brian's office, my Mom and Him sat down and told me that they were planning to get married. Get a house. I was going to have a horse, a stable, all kinds of things. My sister wasn't involved in any of this talk. It was just going to be the three of us. (Did I mention that Brian was still married himself at this time. His wife was filing divorce papers at the time, but it wasn't final yet. He also has an adopted daughter)
This, mind you, was only days after his Mother's funeral.
My Mom had made up her mind and told me that she was coming home, packing up her things and leaving my Dad. I didn't know what to think at that time. ...My sister didn't have a clue. She came home and told my Dad that she was leaving him. He was an emotional wreck..no warning.
My sister (who was at the house with my Mom - I wasn't there, I wanted to stay at a friends house, I didn't want to go) told me that as she was pulling out of the driveway my Dad was crying and pleading with her to stay, trying to grab the car handle and open the door. My Mom was screaming at him to get off and telling him that if he comes and finds us she's calling the police.
My Mom picked me up and took the three of us to a Hotel in the next town. We stayed there for almost two weeks. I was getting really sick, nasueous over all of this. I get upset over things easily and this really put me over the edge. I'd stopped eating towards the end of the second week. My sister left to be with my Dad by that point and it was just my Mother and me.
My Mom and I got into a fight, I was screaming at her...telling her how this was affecting me, how sick I was and how emotionally hard this was on me. She called my Dad, and I eventually was taken to Kazier.
I told them how sick I was and they told me they were calling an ambulance over to transport me to a medical home (I had a discussion with my counselor before, about going to a home, months before this, because of my issues with self harm and cutting, so this is why they suggested it). I thought it was just some place were I could rest and get better.
I was put into a young adult mental institution, NEXT to a hospital. Double bolted locks on the doors, everything that I had was taken away from me. It was terrifying. None of the nurses listened to me when I told them that I wasn't supposed to be there. I was sick. Not mentally ill.
I was treated horribly. I was denied ice chips by three nurses. The woman who gave them to me, gave it to me in a used cup. (There was food in the bottom of it.)
I repeatedly told them that I was sick and had been throwing up. There was nothing left in my stomach and by the second day I was vomiting stomach acid and blood. I had been told when I got there on the first day that I was going to recieve a shot to help me feel better.
I was on the floor when one of the girls from my room found me vomiting again, and she was screaming at one of the nurses to call someone from the hospital to come over. They finally did, a half hour before visiting hours. They told me I needed to get off the floor because my Dad was coming to see me. I'm still assuming that it was just for appearances.
My Dad came by, and saw how sick I was. I told him that I wanted out and that I couldn't stay there any longer. By law, someone admitted is supposed to stay for a full 72 hours.
Visiting hours are an hour long, but my Dad was asked to leave twenty minutes early. He complained, and I found out earlier he stay in the outside the admitting room for four hours, calling my doctor and counselor to work with Kazier and get me out.
He fought and eventually did. I was released that afternoon.
My Mother never called or came and saw me. Brian came down the day I was admitted and stayed the night with her.
My Mother stayed in the apartment Brian had been renting for her, as well as a car and everything else she wanted. She went up to see him every weekend.
I was still being bribed with money and a horse. He even went as far as having his "personal assistant" drive down and see about buying the 2 Million Dollar ranch that I ride at. I rejected all of that and he retaliated by yanking everything out from under me. And told me that I was removed from his Trust.
My Dad and I were harassed by Brian. More so my Dad, belittling him, telling him that my Mother never really loved him. Brian signed all of his emails as 'Big B.'
Months later she made the decision to go and live with him. Soon after that she came to my grandma's house. Telling her that she had left Brian. My Dad was overjoyed when he find out he was getting his wife back.
Soon that day, Brian left her messages, they weren't nice..I can't remember exactly what about. He also left me a message. A voice mail saying that my Mother was going to commit suicide because of me, and that I was being so selfish in wanting her back. I needed to grow up and act like an adult. That my Mother still loves him (Brian) and is only coming home to be with my Sister and I. He ended the message saying he never wanted to speak or see me ever again.
My Mom came home. But only a month and a half before she left again, saying she couldn't deal with it anymore and had to leave. Packing up and taking a flight out to be with Brian. I got the news when I was on a road trip with friends, my Dad was sobbing, telling me that she left again.
She left. But came back three days later. Completely upset and withdrawn. He brought her up just to tell her that it was over between them and that he couldn't take her back.
We found out through his now ex-wife that he was seeing another woman, just within the Month. Lisa.
In the beginning of March we found out that the FBI had seized his Company, North River for Wire Fraud of 3.2 Million Dollars. He inflated his inventory to Wells Fargo, a whopping Seven/Eight Million in 07' and increased to Ten Million later on, that he had -borrowed- - He never was a millionaire. That was company money.
He surrendered all of his assets and left the company, leaving Oregon and going to Washington with Lisa.
Leaving 100+ people out of a job, including his father. He had also not paid the health insurance for the company. So all of his employee's were out of a job, with no health insurance.
We found out that Lisa and Brian were engaged and his house was for sale. (His father also lived on the property.)
In June, American Express sued him for a half a million dollars, for racking up the company's Gold Card.
And now, today we found out he killed his ex-fiance'.
...My emotions are so jumbled. I'm SO extremely relieved that he's in jail, without bail. Something that could put him away for life. I've been frightened ever since he left us, and finding out that His girlfriend, Lisa left him that he might come after us.... I feel selfish...because I'm thankful it wasn't my Mother, or me...my Dad, my sister...
But I knew Lisa. I met her...once, right before I stopped talking with Brian. They had both come down...he was in Sacramento, doing a boat show. I wanted to see if Brian had changed at all, and maybe I could have a relationship with him. ..She was so kind and upbeat, and very opinionated...she didn't seem to just, agree with everything that was spewed out of his mouth. I didn't understand why she was with him. I only assumed then, it was for the money.
She even tried to keep in contact with me after I had dropped all with Brian, but I just gave her the cold shoulder for the most part...he was so manipulative with my Mother when she was with him, that I didn't trust either of them...I barely knew her.
Last I heard, when his company went under the two of them were living in Long Beach. Just a week or so ago I found out that she had filed a restraining order against Him, he had been threatening to burn down their house and kill her...But the order was never served because they didn't know where he was.
It's so surreal. Mind-numbing. I thought that maybe venting and writing this out would help. But it doesn't. And nothing I can do or say will bring Lisa back.
I just feel sick.
And I know that I've never hated anyone in my life more than I hate Brian Brush. This man is not my father.
I hope he rots in jail.
