Please please please, I really need some support

[ElectroCute]

I'm 17, and I've never had any interest in drinking, up until recently when I've been dealing with a lot and stupidly thought drinking (when friends do so) would make me feel accepted and 'normal', and therefore happier.

Last night I drank too much because I thought I didn't feel any different and it wasn't affecting me. I woke up and there was a guy, a friend of a friend, in the same bed asleep. We were both still fully dressed but I was terrified, I wanted to throw up and die at the same time because I was so scared something happened. I talked to him about it later and he is a really nice guy, and apparently he asked me if it was okay to sleep there because there weren't enough beds. It turns out I said it was okay, which I would NEVER NEVER do normally, I'm not comfortable with being close like that with guys I don't know. (Or any, for that matter.) I am sure now that nothing DID happen, but it has hit me what can happen when you get drunk, the affect it can have on the decisions I make.

I know thats so obvious, its something you are warned of constantly; but i'Ve been having such a hard time lately, and of course stupidly I just wanted to be happy and fit in. But now I never want to drink again.

I guess I just need some support, I feel so horrible and despicable and terrified that something could so easily have happened. I am never drinking again, it's not worth it, but right now its so hard to deal with what could have happened.

Sorry for the long post.

 

[Junkie]

I think all of us have given in to peer pressure at some point in our lives - especially when it comes to drinking when you're underage. Its important that you make mistakes and learn from them. You take that experience and educate yourself on future decisions that may happen again to yourself or people you know.

I wouldn't beat myself up over it. Yes, you drank too much and passed out with a guy. And yes, you weren't sure if anything happened between you two - but to know what COULD'VE happened scares you. Its a bit of a wake up call as to what drinking and/or drugs can do to a person. You know now not to put yourself in that situation again and you can also teach other people the same. Its not worth it - the implications and aftermath of drinking. But don't feel bad - because even adults find themselves in situations like this as well. It doesn't make it right, but atleast you know that even older people struggle with making the right decisions when they're under the influence.

Just remember that there is plenty of time to do things like this when you're older and of-age and have the self-control to monitor your drinking responsibly. It may seem "fun" to your friends to do this now, but believe me, so many negative things can happen and its completely not worth it for one "fun" night.

And don't feel "so horrible and despicable and terrified that something could so easily have happened". It could've, but didn't. Count yourself as one of the lucky ones and learn from it.

Just know that you're the boss of yourself and people are lame for trying to pressure you to do things that are illegal and dumb just for the sake of a "good" story Monday morning at school.

 

[jjjenko]

I understand why you would say you'd never want to drink again. But you are young, and I think this experience can teach you how much alcohol you can handle. It's good to have these experiences so that yo can learn from them. I definitely don't think you should beat yourself over it. I don't think just because this happened that you should stop drinking, unless you really don't like it.

 

[LMD84]

sweetoe stop beating yourself up about this. i think you should be happy that you have learnt quite quickly how alcohol can cloud your judgement and can turn things dangerous.

you are very lucky that the guy was decent and that he just wanted to crash next to you. it could have been so much worse. so be relieved.

at the end of the day most people have been trhough what you have. when i was 16 me and my friends snuck into a club which was full of pervy men, i ended up getting very drunk and actually kissing one of them. the next day i felt disgusted with myself - sober i would have never, ever kissed some pervy bloke like that. but i learned that drinking myself stupid was not a good thing to do at all. many of my friends ended getting very drunbk and sleeping with guys that they wouldn't have normally done. but we were all there being a shoulder to cry on each other.

so try not to stress, you've learnt a very valuble lesson. i'm sure that one day you will drink again - but just know your limits and get your friends to look out for each other and tell each other to stop when they think somebody has gone too far.

 

[hello_kitty]

*big hug*

Like the others said, don't beat yourself up. Take it as a very valuable lesson. We've all been in situations that were stupid/scary/etc and if you can take that experience, and learn from it, that's good! We all make stupid decisions and mistakes.

When I was 18 (senior in HS), I got super drunk, and this guy I was "dating" who was 23 called my parents after I passed out and told them I never wanted to come home again. My parents had the cops out, they were calling all sorts of people I went to school with trying to find where I was... very terrible and embarrassing situation. I took that experience, which was eye opening, and changed my life. I didn't drink again until I was over 22, and I only drink moderately and with people I know and trust fully, even now at 26. It definitely taught me quite a few lessons. But honestly I am "happy" that I had the situation to open my eyes to bad paths I was heading down at such a young age.

 

[BEA2LS]

do not worry too much. it happened and it's over. luckily it turned out okay and this will be a wake up call for you

 

[blazeno.8]

I was having a hard time at home and decided it would be a good thing to go to a bar with my friends and have some drinks. I didn't realize however that I had so many drinks and I ended up being sick. Luckily we have one friend who is always in charge and she drove me and our other friend around for a bit. When we got to my other friend's house, the only thing I can remember thinking is "I need to open the door" and puked in her front yard. Unfortunately that night it didn't rain and it was there for her parents to see in the morning.

The next day was mother's day and after making a really nice meal for my mom with a slight hang over, my brother-in-law came over and spilled the beans right there in front of my mom.

This vignette is my little way of saying: even if you're having a hard time, try try try to be responsible. Drinking never makes any difficult situation better. If anything it makes the situation much worse.

 

[jettica]

I've been in that sort of place. Drinking to feel better. Drinking can be brilliant but only if you do is responsibly and are around friends that won't let you do anything stupid. However, I've recently given up drinking and it is so much more fun watching your friends get drunk. If you feel a bit pressured into drinking make sure you pour your own drinks at a party (maybe don't even put alcohol in). If you have an alcoholic drink savour it, enjoy it.

Soon your friends will be too drunk to know you don't have a drink in your hand. Then you can be one making sure they don't do anything silly.

Also if you drive make sure you are always the designated driver. Works very well.

I wouldn't worry too much about what happened. You'll know for next time.
*hugs*

 

[Meisje]

Don't feel bad! You learned from the experience and nothing terrible happened.

I know sharing the bed was outside your comfort zone but think of all the things that COULD have happened if that guy wasn't such a gentleman.

*hug*