CantAffordMAC
Well-known member
I'll try to make this as short as possible. EDIT: Its really long guys I hope you don't mind. (You can just skim)
You all know about my breakup with my boyfriend of 2 years. Well, he broke up with me in February. By March I had had it with the lies, I was just done. You all know that I had gotten in contact with a guy from my past (from about 2 1/2 yrs ago....me and my boyfriend had been together for about 3 months, and I kissed the guy frm my past while we were together. my bf forgave me, we moved on) Well after my bf just broke up with me, I got in contact with this guy again. We hung out a couple times, I actually hung out with a few guys during our separation. I didn't feel bad or guilty about it, because HE broke up with me, and once he realized that i wasn't at home crying over him, he kinda got suspicious I think.
Anywho, fast forward. After being broken up for about a month and a half, I stopped being mean to him. (When he called I was a straight up bitch. Didn't answer his questions about who i was with, where I was, etc) Well i started warming up to him, and I felt like he was really making an effort to show me that he only wanted me and he was willing to do anything to get me back. So we started talking again, but didn't make the commitment to be in a relationship yet.....
So now, we've been hanging out more. But things feel different. He works out everyday, is extremely strict on his diet, he's lost about 60 pounds since February. He's doing and looking great. I have decided that if we are going to try to make this work, I can accept that he wants to be a singer, and I can support him in that (which I have been doing great at btw). He is just really positive and he's always focused and concentrating on his music and his workout. So we only see eachother on the weekends, since we both work. When he comes over I feel like I get no attention. things aren't how they used to be. He'll hug and kiss me, but not for long. He's cocky, he isn't too affectionate anymore, he works out on our only day that we have together. Like theres no such thing as us just spending the day together without him being focused on something else. He thinks nothings changed!
I feel like...everythings so different. I want more affection. but he considers that "us being up eachothers ass". Its funny because he was up my ASS when we were broken up, telling me how much he missed me, that he made the biggest mistake of his life, he would die if I wasn't in his life. But now that I'm back in the picture, he's acting like its nothing.
I'm so confused. I really really love him and I do want to be with him, but I am tired of being disrespected. I'm tired of feeling like...alone. I really think he loves me but at this point I don't even know what to think. If I say lets just have time to be separated and alone and think things through, well he has nothing to think through. But I do: like, am i sure this is what I want? If he can't give me what I need, why am i staying here? Because I love him. But he won't give me time. But its like if i leave him, he won't even be phased by it, since he is so focused on his music. We are still making plans for our future but its like.....I don't want our relationship to be like this. If anything the separation was supposed to make us stronger, not worse.
He found out about me talking to the guy from my past. Needless to say he flipped out (this guy has basically been the root of all of our problems in our relationship, on my side anyways). He told me i should change my number and delete my myspace. I haven't done either one. He told me I didn't have to delete my myspace, but I definetly had to change my number. Its been a week and a half and I havent done it. I don't blame him for asking me to do it. He changed his number without me asking him to (girls kept calling him, that was part of the problem). So tonight we argued because I still haven't changed my #. He was yelling because I bought clothes online and didn't tell him about it (who CARES?
) and because I didn't have enough money left in my account to change my number. Then he tells me I do nothing but sit at the computer all day and watch the Tyra show. Like wow, ouch. I have 2 days off, I never just sit around except for when I'm off. Nothing I do, or say, or watch, or eat is right. EVER!! I'm too negative, I don't eat healthy things, how am I supposed to lose weight if I don't eat right (I want to lose weight, he doesn't want me to). Me being on the computer is a problem. He feels like i'm hiding something if I don't tell him that i bought something big online. I'll delete my myspace I guess, my relationship with him is more important than that. i don't want to let him control me (but i CAN understand his side about my number and about myspace....i understand that) I just can't get through to him. I try to talk about how I feel, we can't do it without arguing. He feels like everythings the same, and he hasn't changed. But I feel totally opposite....
You all know about my breakup with my boyfriend of 2 years. Well, he broke up with me in February. By March I had had it with the lies, I was just done. You all know that I had gotten in contact with a guy from my past (from about 2 1/2 yrs ago....me and my boyfriend had been together for about 3 months, and I kissed the guy frm my past while we were together. my bf forgave me, we moved on) Well after my bf just broke up with me, I got in contact with this guy again. We hung out a couple times, I actually hung out with a few guys during our separation. I didn't feel bad or guilty about it, because HE broke up with me, and once he realized that i wasn't at home crying over him, he kinda got suspicious I think.
Anywho, fast forward. After being broken up for about a month and a half, I stopped being mean to him. (When he called I was a straight up bitch. Didn't answer his questions about who i was with, where I was, etc) Well i started warming up to him, and I felt like he was really making an effort to show me that he only wanted me and he was willing to do anything to get me back. So we started talking again, but didn't make the commitment to be in a relationship yet.....
So now, we've been hanging out more. But things feel different. He works out everyday, is extremely strict on his diet, he's lost about 60 pounds since February. He's doing and looking great. I have decided that if we are going to try to make this work, I can accept that he wants to be a singer, and I can support him in that (which I have been doing great at btw). He is just really positive and he's always focused and concentrating on his music and his workout. So we only see eachother on the weekends, since we both work. When he comes over I feel like I get no attention. things aren't how they used to be. He'll hug and kiss me, but not for long. He's cocky, he isn't too affectionate anymore, he works out on our only day that we have together. Like theres no such thing as us just spending the day together without him being focused on something else. He thinks nothings changed!
I feel like...everythings so different. I want more affection. but he considers that "us being up eachothers ass". Its funny because he was up my ASS when we were broken up, telling me how much he missed me, that he made the biggest mistake of his life, he would die if I wasn't in his life. But now that I'm back in the picture, he's acting like its nothing.
I'm so confused. I really really love him and I do want to be with him, but I am tired of being disrespected. I'm tired of feeling like...alone. I really think he loves me but at this point I don't even know what to think. If I say lets just have time to be separated and alone and think things through, well he has nothing to think through. But I do: like, am i sure this is what I want? If he can't give me what I need, why am i staying here? Because I love him. But he won't give me time. But its like if i leave him, he won't even be phased by it, since he is so focused on his music. We are still making plans for our future but its like.....I don't want our relationship to be like this. If anything the separation was supposed to make us stronger, not worse.
He found out about me talking to the guy from my past. Needless to say he flipped out (this guy has basically been the root of all of our problems in our relationship, on my side anyways). He told me i should change my number and delete my myspace. I haven't done either one. He told me I didn't have to delete my myspace, but I definetly had to change my number. Its been a week and a half and I havent done it. I don't blame him for asking me to do it. He changed his number without me asking him to (girls kept calling him, that was part of the problem). So tonight we argued because I still haven't changed my #. He was yelling because I bought clothes online and didn't tell him about it (who CARES?
