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[user4]

Ok so as some people here may kno, I have a boyfriend... been with him for 2 1/2 years, we live together, we're super happy... yadda yadda yadda!!! we do things together A LOT... almost all the time. I'm starting to go through freedom withdrawl. And it didnt bother me until this past Saturday when I went out with a group of guy friends for someone birthday and I went alone and I had such a great time. So now I'm thinking, do I miss being single or do I just have this need to do things alone for a while. And I dont know how to approach it. How do I say "well yeah babe, after wanting to be with you every waking moment or every single day, now I want some me time" without him thinking I'm cheating or something... cuz that's def not what I'm looking to do. I just wanna go out, have fun... I feel so old sometimes just cooped up at home. I dont know if this is just like a passing thing... but I dont know how to approach it exactly. HELP!

 

[aziajs]

How old are you? That's my first question? I think what you feel is normal for young people, anyone really but particularly young people because there is so much to want to do and experience, especially when you have been in a relationship for awhile. And from what I have seen, there always comes a time when one person wants some space in some capacity. Anyway......I think you should spend time apart. It makes you better appreciate the time you spend together. And I always think that couples should have separate lives that don't always involve each other. Go out with friends or explore interests on your own. It's healthy. As for how to tell him, that's a good one. I think I'll have to think on that.

 

[user3]

I think everyone goes through that.
I would just be honest with him. To butter him up maybe break the news while giving him a foot massage

Whenever I've needed some me time I just let my husband know.
Usually he is happy because then he gets his me time.
I've been married for almost 9 years and with him for almost 13 years and let me tell you I've needed plenty of me time! We do everything together and sometimes I just need to be alone with my friends or just alone. I had my son at an early age so during the usual age that people let loose my husband and I had our baby boy to take of and provide for. It was not until my son was 5 years old that I said "Hey hun, I need me time NOW!". He was more than happy to let me go out with my friends. I think your beau will understand and chances are he might be feeling the same way.
Just remember there is nothing wrong with being honest and buttering him up at the same time!

 

[Shawna]

What about taking a cooking class or something that he wouldn't be at all interested in? I joined a gym and I love being able to have me time 3 times a week without my son or hubby tagging along. Plus I've made all sorts of girlfriends (all girl gym) and we have a blast together. We have girls night out all the time. Trust me, it's normal to feel that way at the age you are at.

 

[user4]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aziajs How old are you? That's my first question? I think what you feel is normal for young people, anyone really but particularly young people because there is so much to want to do and experience, especially when you have been in a relationship for awhile. And from what I have seen, there always comes a time when one person wants some space in some capacity. Anyway......I think you should spend time apart. It makes you better appreciate the time you spend together. And I always think that couples should have separate lives that don't always involve each other. Go out with friends or explore interests on your own. It's healthy. As for how to tell him, that's a good one. I think I'll have to think on that.

i'm 23 so im not sooo young and i feel like i did live a decent "college" life... i did the party thing and i did the single thing (although not for about 4-5 years) and i did all that... but i dont know why i feel like i need space. it's like he's always there!!! sounds really wrong doesnt it?

 

[user4]

ok, this is the thing that makes it a little different. i dont have many female friends. most of my friends are guys and they arent interested in me (at least not from what i can tell) so my "girl's night out" would be more like a "guy's night out" and that's what makes this situation a little wierder. charlie isnt really the "jealous and throw tantrums" kinda guy, hes more the "jealous and keep it to himself" kinda guy which is good, but i dont want him to get jealous... period! but i have no clue how to be like... well babe, im going to this bar tonight with the guys... see ya later. and that's what im trying to figure out if it's bad... like that i have this urge. one of my friends told me that if i really loved him i would be fine being with him and my guys... but then i dont think she knows much of what she's talking about or has much right really to give me advice about relationships. and i dont know about the going out with both cuz... well, just that u know that guys always treat u different when ur boyfriend is around and then it just gets wierd. i cant explain it. i know i sound super whiny... lol. i just dont know what to do and he's starting to get all wierd with me with the "i dont get why u didnt invite me to go with u on saturday" thing...

 

[user3]

The only way you will know how he feels is if you ask him!
Suck it up girlfriend!

 

[colormust]

oh chicka i have been thought that.....it sucks cause you feel like you want him to be there but you want your freedom also. i think every relationship comes to this point when you have been together for a long time. i went though it a couple of years ago.
i told him that i miss going out with my friends and they are important to me. he kinda got mad at first cause he thought that i was saying that he wasnt as important as they where. but after we talked more about it he understod. i tried to give him examples....girls/guys nite out and etc.....
it is really important that you talk to him about it cause if you dont it will just eat you up inside and he will feel you slippin away. (then he will think your cheeting on him and going out hehehe) COMUNICATION BABY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!!!!!!!

 

[colormust]

Quote:

Originally Posted by colormust oh chicka i have been thought that.....it sucks cause you feel like you want him to be there but you want your freedom also. i think every relationship comes to this point when you been together for a long time. i went though it a couple of years ago. i told him that i miss going out with my friends and they are important to me. he kinda got mad at first cause he thought that i was saying that he wasnt as important as they are. but after we talked more about it he understod. i tried to give him examples....girls/guys nite out and etc..... it is really important that you talk to him about it cause if you dont it will just eat you up inside and he will feel you slippin away. (then he will think your cheeting on him and going out hehehe) COMUNICATION BABY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!!!!!!!

...................

 

[colormust]

oops exscuse the stupid mistake.....i wanted to edit not quote
doh!!!!

 

[Chelly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sxychika1014 i'm 23 so im not sooo young and i feel like i did live a decent "college" life... i did the party thing and i did the single thing (although not for about 4-5 years) and i did all that... but i dont know why i feel like i need space. it's like he's always there!!! sounds really wrong doesnt it?

totally normal feeling - i'm 21, i've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years.. he's the only guy i've *been* with if ya kn0 what i mean

sometimes i feel like i should be meeting othe rpeople because i'm only 21 but then i think about how happy i am - if i'm happy and theres nothing wrong with my situation then why ruin something so good?

other than that id say spend more time with your girlfriends. i havent got a lot of girlfriends and the ones ive got i've been neglecting. but i'm having girls nights more offten and i find myself wishing i was with my boyfriend. it feels like we're in that first month again!!

anyways i'm just sayin dont make a spontaneous decision on breaking up with him because your unsure.. ya kn0? hope it works out <33

 

[user4]

ok, so i spoke to him and he understood... supposedly. except for the fact that he ended up acting really wierd and whenever someone would call me or txt me he would ask me who it was. he would read my emails over my shoulder to see who i was talking to and it annoyed me so i went off... i tried to do it nicely but i have no patience. and he is my boyfriend and i love him but i'm not going to let him control me. so i was like wtf is wrong with u???? so it turns out that he's been jealous of a friend of mine for months and it so happens that this is the first guy that i've gotten cool with since me and him began dating. so im like... tough... honest what am i suppsed to do... quit my job (i work with him)??? so we got into it for a good 2-3 hours but then FINALLY we both calmed down and talked it through and realized that we have just been spending WAY too much time together... so we both decided to do our own things for a little bit... like not break up or anything. just outside of the house... he can go hang out with his friends and i can go hang out with mine (without being freaking questioned)... so yay..... things r A-OK now!!!

 

[user3]

That's great! I am glad you finally talked it over with him.

 

[colormust]

oh i am so glad that things worked out....arent realationships so tough some time

: D