To those having experience with depression..

[labellavita7]

If you've ever had depression.. how did you bring yourself to get help for it? I know something isn't right with me, and lately I've been learning a lot about my school's counseling center. It's free therapy and I suppose I should take advantage of it while I'm still in school but I don't know how to bring myself to go speak with a stranger about how I'm feeling. I've been feeling this way for a long time but it's just making me irritable lately and I can't take the stress anymore from holding it in. I have no desire to speak with my friends about what goes on in my mind, but I know I should go to the counseling center.. How did you find the strength or motivation to actually go and do this? I almost feel embarrassed to go.

 

[MACATTAK]

My motivation was to get help with something that was controlling me, and that I felt I alone could not fix. I felt that there was no reason to suffer through something, that I did not have to. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, there are so many people who suffer from depression. I really felt that it was somewhat refreshing to talk to someone who knew nothing about me, and would make no judgements about my situation. I have taken medication as well, and it did help. Another thing that helped me was getting certain people out of my life who were just bringing me down. Talk to someone. They will be able to tell you what the best route for you is. You shouldn't have to suffer, when you can be enjoying life! Take care girlie. Things can get better!

 

[SparklingWaves]

I knew I needed help when I was actually having urges to commit suicide at work. It was awful. I thought it would go away. It didn't. I am on meds now. Nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone goes through lows in their life. It's how low that the danger.

 

[NutMeg]

I found the strength when I started cutting myself to deal with my anger and pain, and I realized I needed better coping skills than that. I ended up in therapy and on anti-depressants, but I haven't needed anything for over a year now. Just push yourself to go, and if you aren't happy with the therapist/counsellor you see, keep looking until you find someone that you're happy with. It makes a world of difference. Good luck.

 

[V15U4L_3RR0R]

I had counselling thrust upon me by my housing association and I'm glad they did because it's been the greatest thing that has helped me through depression. You needn't feel embarrassed. If you broke your leg, would you refuse treatment because you were embarrassed? You may as well do it for a while and see how it goes. Even if you only go once, it's not like you're obliged to go back?

 

[Ithica]

I saw my school councelling center when I knew that i just couldn't continue feeling the way I was, i was even hurting myself while at school (not in public obv) But i knew the way things were going it really couldnt get any better if it was just me.

I felt abit stupid and felt like i was wasting their time at first but they are so supportive and its what they are there for - take advantage of it and try and get as much help as you.
Sometimes its easier talking to people who have no reason to judge you or don't know anything about you, I also decided not to talk to my friends about it but Im sure if they are good friends they will care and look out for you, So don't feel your alone and isolate yourself *hugs*

I hope things get better for you because - they can

 

[NeonDollParts]

I've been through plenty of counseling and in the beginning it can be very uncomfortable. The first time I went, the counselor just sat there staring at me for 30 minutes cuz I didn't really want to say anything. Anyhow, it can be a very uplifting experience once you get comfortable with it all because you'll know that they are always there for you and you can tell them anything. It also is a great way to vent when you're stressed.

 

[yur_babeydoll]

I'm bipolar, have depression and an anxiety disorder. And, I've never been able to talk to my psychologist or a counselor about it. Feels really weird and I don't want to tell them personally stuff...blah. Anyways, I'm on an anti-depressant called Wellbutrin which I like, but I'm trying to get rid of the depressant using other methods since I really want to get to the point were I don't need anti-depressants (I try to resist taking medication and there are side effects).

Some stuff I'm doing right now to try to get rid of it might sound kind of wacky, but they've had a positive impacts.

*Get real live plants (ones that are your favorite) - I bought myself a bamboo plant about a month ago. This might sound stupid, but I has brightened my days a bit. I love bamboo plants, they give off oxygen, and theirs something about taking care of it and watching it grow that is kind of nice.
*Make a gratitude journal - I have a notebook that on the front is labeled 'gratitude journal' and every day I write a minimum of 5 things I'm greatful for that day. Even on the worst of days you can simply say that your happy to have driven safely that day or just little things like that. It helps you find good in everyday and gets you in the habit of seeing the good in even the worst situations. I also believe being grateful and positive attracts people and good things into your life.
*Make a daily accomplishment journal - I find I get depressed by thinking I've accomplished nothing that day. I got a notebook and labeled it 'daily accomplishments' and each day write what I accomplished (going to school, cleaning the house, etc). It helps you realize that you aren't completely unproductive and I find it pushes me to do more just to write on my list, but maybe I'm just kind of crazy like that lol.
*Exercise, Exercise, Exercise - The single most useful thing you can do to help depression and anxiety. Exercise releases feel good hormones, improves your health, and improves your self esteem. Even if you just start by going for a walk everyday, and then build up to with 10 min of cardio 3-6 days a week and then increase the time in increments of 5 min (10,15,20,25,30) and adding in strength training (which I highly recommend).
*Don't stay in dark rooms often - I love being in dark or dim rooms (I'm naturally I night person), but forcing yourself to open the blinds and go outside in the sun are every important in improving your mood.
*Get out and spend time with people - I find it so hard to get out when your depressed. The last thing you want to do is leave your house, but it is very important to do so. Connections with people and just being active is key. Even if it's in small steps like calling a friend to just chat, do it!
*Raise your self esteem - If one of your problems is a low self esteem, improving it will help your depression a lot. I could go into tons of detail regarding it, so instead if you or anyone has questions regarding it PM me and I will either make a separate thread on it or will rely to you with answers.
*Deal with child issues - Of course this only depends if an underlying cause was how you were raised and treated as a child. I could go into more detail on that in a PM.
*Expressing feelings and emotions - Sounds silly but the depression or any anxiety could be caused by holding back feelings in order to make people like you or not cause problems, etc. If that a problem PM me.
*Be more assertive - another thing that if you want I can explain in more detail through a PM.
*Pamper and take care of yourself - Seriously, who doesn't love to get pampered and feel great. This way your taking some time to relax however you want; by getting your nails done, getting a massage, having a nice candle lit bath, etc.
*Learn not to compare yourself - Comparing yourself to other people whether it's a celeb, friend, family member or whatever can be really depressing. You need to learn to feel great as you are and love yourself.
*Get rid of procrastination and perfectionism - Such a hard one for me... I'm both a procrastinator and perfectionist lol. Both are very negative traits. One thing that may help is breaking down work you need to get done into smaller steps or having someone else do it since sometimes you'll be to overwhelmed with it. For more about overcoming both of these PM me. (seriously sorry about this PMing but there is so much to say about all them lol)
*LAUGH! - Laughing and smiling naturally improve your mood. Watch a funny movie, read comics, watch a funny show, read jokes, etc.
*Do things you love - Going to a movie, going out for dinner, going hiking, driving, whatever it is you love find time to do it.
*Have goals and find your life purpose - Someone once said to me that without goals they would become depressed and if you think about it it's true. Without goals or a life purpose, what are you living for? More info, PM me.
*Negative self-talk - Huge section, but important, PM me for it.

Search the internet for more tips and advice if needed. There is soooo much regarding depression in cyber space. A few sites I find are useful and have a lot of self help parts, such as free workbooks, are:
Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI) - Psychotherapy, Research, Training
http://www.google.ca/search?num=100&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=FdT&q=depression+worksheets&btnG= Search&meta=

There are a few more great ones but I can't seem to find the links right now.

Anyways, I wish you nothing but the best in your journey to beating depression. It is possible, don't worry.

 

[oulala]

I was ashamed of it too. I waited a long time, until I realized my life was really being affected by it. Every job I had lasted at most 3 months (I kept quitting, all I wanted to do was sleep). This was over a period of two years. You can't imagine how many jobs I went through...! My problem was that my family has always looked down on depression, which is ironic, because they all suffer from it. It runs in the family. My life was going no where and I thought... why not? I have to do something, I can't keep living this way.

I saw counsellors, only one which was worth the time (and sadly the first time I met her she told me she was leaving the city). My doctor has put me on Cipralex. It's made a massive difference. I really know what it feels like to be normal now, for the first time in my life. I wish I hadn't waited 10 years!!! Wow, the difference it would have made...... it's insane to think about. I had dropped out of school (I did go back and finish), had no direction, no schooling, random jobs... Now I'm in college, finished HS, have a direction and many many passions...

 

[quinntastic]

For me it was an extreme dissatisfaction with my career path that spiraled me into a depression. If there is one area of your life that is "out of whack" I encourage you to analyze what will make you happy and resolve to do something about it. Because when one aspect of your life is messed up it will take all the happy areas with it.

Free therapy is awesome. Those people are trained to listen and advise. And there will be no judgment. Just find someone there that you will be comfortable with and start talking. It will really make you feel SO much better.

I had a therapist several years ago and I didn't really like her so I moved on. I think the key is to find someone sincere. She was old so I felt like she didn't know shit about being a young adult. lol

Good luck. Be motivated to do something good for yourself. The sooner you do it, the better you will feel. Try it at least one time and see how you feel. It will take a lot of work after that, but you have to get on the road to recovery. You owe it to yourself.

 

[komischkatze]

Man... a couple of the things yur_babeydoll mentioned... I'm glad they work for her but those would just make me worse. Exercise is great if you can muster the motivation for it. Kinda hard to do if you can't get out of bed, of course. Getting out and spending time with people when I'm depressed just sets off my panic attacks and going out and doing things I normally love makes me painfully aware of how incapable I am on enjoying those things. It varies for all of us.

I've been off medication for years, but I've been down for a year plus. Just this morning I finally made the call to my doctor and an hour later, after a long talk with him, I was going to the pharmacy to pick up my two new prescriptions for antidepressants.

It can be really difficult to actually make that step, but you're the only one who can say when you're ready. This time, my OCD got really fired up along with the depression and that had a lot to do with why I called my doctor. I have a new job that I've been at for right at 3 months and it's a good job, not perfect but certainly enjoyable, and it allows me group medical coverage. I waited until my insurance kicked in completely and I had a weekday off from work (because I don't have vacation time yet) that I knew the doctor would be there. The past couple of weeks, I've been screwing up in small ways at work because of being unfocused from not sleeping and being so depressed, etc. I do NOT want to lose this job - it gives me medical coverage and enough money to *afford* meds for a change. That's what pushed me to call my doctor.

 

[AmberLilith]

Labellavita7 ***Long post warning sorry***

Counselling
I’d suggest giving counselling a try. As mentioned before, you can always just go once, see how you find that person, think about it, see if it could work for you… you don’t have to go again if you don’t want to.

I’ve been in counselling for a long time, one counsellor, long term therapeutic relationship of 9 years.
Here’s a few pointers I can offer:

• The first counsellor you meet might not be the right one for you. You might not realise straight away though. But it’s just like every person/doctor/ whatever isn’t right for you either. You won’t feel comfortable with every person you meet, so you won’t necessarily feel comfortable with every counsellor either –don’t be put off counselling altogether or feel that something’s wrong with you if it doesn’t work out right with the first person.

• They’ll expect you to be nervous the first time. It’s normal. It’s a new thing, it’s daunting, maybe even scary –but they know that.

• Don’t feel like you have to open up and tell all straight away. They understand that you need to a) build up trust b) get comfortable with them n the idea of counselling c) maybe can’t cope with spilling out your entire life story all in one go.

• If you feel you’re not ready for it, that’s ok. Maybe you’ll feel differently in the future. Maybe not. That’s ok.

The benefits of going (as you’ve probably considered):

• You get to talk to someone who is unbiased, non-judgemental and confidential. That person will not meet your friends n family, talk about you, see you in any other context.

• You get to talk to someone who is trained to listen and take on board what you say and who wants to help you through it.

• Totally different to having a friend who just listens because you’re their friend so could feel a bit obligated. A counsellor is doing a job he/she enjoys and wants to do.

• You get a ‘safe’ place to talk about things you might not want to bring up with other people, to unload and discuss stuff n work through it.

I started counselling 9 years ago, aged 15. My first couple of sessions were daunting. I was nervous, I cried. I took my Mum for moral support. I knew I needed it, it was exactly what I wanted because I needed to unload all the bottled up stuff that I had no one else to tell (I had a very close relationship with my Mum but she was then very ill). The following sessions allowed me to open up a bit.

As Macattak said, I knew I couldn’t deal with it on my own. While I had supportive friends and family, I wanted something else. I actually felt like I might be burdening my family, though they tell me that isn’t the case, I still think it.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned to identify some of the thought patterns that lead me into worse depression and how to try to work my way out of it. (Not that I’m always successful, having had my third breakdown this year).
I’ve also had a safe place to discuss and work through a lot of ‘issues’ (for want of a better word).
And I know that my counsellor is there for me, she’s stability in my life where in the past there has been little.




Depression
I’ve suffered from severe depression for more than 10 years now. I’ve also experienced stress, anxiety, self-harm, eating problems and bereavement.
I’m currently taking Cipralex (an antidepressant) and Lamotrigine (a mood stabiliser), though have tried a few others in the past. I also see a psychiatrist every few months and intend to start group therapy for the first time this year.
I’ve been off work now for six months, probably my longest stretch away from either work or uni for years. I’ve improved a lot and that’s partly down to my counsellor’s support. (It’s also down to new antidepressants, my dealing with some of my mental turmoil, support from my partner, being away from the stress of a job etc…). I don’t think I would be where I am now without her.

Anyway, adding to the list by Yur_babeydoll (and in danger of sounding like a complete hypocrite hermit who sits in front of her computer all day and is scared of going back to work) here are my suggestions…

• Find a hobby/something you enjoy doing or reading about or taking part in. [Quote myself a couple of weeks ago ‘But hobbies are for interesting people’ I admitted that, while a dull person, I do actually have interests…] You have a love of MAC and make-up –make some facecharts up, do your face, do someone else’s, imagine what your own makeup line would be ‘Labellavita for MAC!!’
• Or something else you enjoy –I’ve got my watercolours out for the first time in years and reminded myself that I actually liked painting. I trawled google image search for some pretty pictures and intended to paint using them as inspiration. [Peacock theme –peacocks n peacock feather… peacock coloured makeup, peacock coloured fabric… I just have to get off my arse and do it, that’s the hard thing.] I also like baking cakes, though I have had to curtail that because eating the majority of ten cakes in three weeks does not help my weight. Whatever you like or are interested in… there must be something. If it helps, try to get someone to join you –I find it helps my motivation if I’m not on my own.

• Try to get out more… even if it’s just arranging to meet a friend for an hour for coffee, or plucking up the courage to get dressed and go out to get the shopping. Go to the cinema or a show –bound to give you something to think/talk about and occupy your mind, even if it doesn’t make you laugh.

• If something makes you laugh or smile, take a moment to appreciate it, make a mental note of what it is, even if it’s the daftest thing! Small things that make you smile mean a lot if you don’t smile frequently!

• The suggestion about daylight is a good one –UV light can definitely help. I bought a UV lamp to help me out over winter, I’m usually brighter in the summer because of the sunlight. Even having a couple of mins on a sunbed could help, though I will not advocate more than once for a couple of mins, as it won’t be good for your skin in the long run.

• As mentioned, the ‘gratitude’ and ‘daily accomplishments’ journal are a good idea, if you can bring yourself to do it, which I can’t always. It helps you attempt some positive thinking, which will counteract your negative thoughts a little. And when you’re feeling down, look at the book/journal and remember some of the good stuff and the stuff you have achieved. I know it’s almost impossible when you’re depressed to see anything but the negative… as my counsellor says ‘Try to find evidence for the contrary’ = you might feel like you’ve achieved nothing, but there’ll be stuff you’ve achieved!!

• Try to identify when you’re thinking ‘in black n white’, when your thoughts are all in extremes such as ‘I never…’ ‘I always…’ ‘I will never…’ ‘It’s all terrible…’ ‘Nothing’s right…’ The all-or-nothing, always-never stuff. It’s difficult to get out of, but it helps to realise that’s it isn’t productive. It’s usually not entirely true –when I think ‘I’m a complete failure,’ I have to be reminded that there are things I haven’t failed at, or I wouldn’t have got into university or got a job. When I think ‘No one wants to see/hear from me’ I have to be reminded that I got a facebook message saying ‘Write to me!!’ from a friend.

K, I think Yur_babeydoll’s list covered a lot of the things I want to say, so I'll try not to get repetitive.

• As far as exercise goes, that’s one that will vary from person to person. It’s clinically proven to help in depression, but for some it’s very hard to get started. Personally, I haven’t done much exercise for a long time, I have asthma and I’ve gained a lot of weight that I want to lose. I’m very nervous about going back to the gym, (I went for a couple of months a few years ago, when I wasn’t so ill and weighed two stone less…) So for me, putting this one into practice is very hard. I’ve finally bitten the bullet and bought some new gym clothes. There’s a scheme in Britain known as ‘exercise on prescription’ where you can get your doctor to refer you for a consultation for a fitness programme at a local gym and you pay reduced rates (Find out if there’s anything like that near you?). I signed up this week, but am still putting off going! I think I’ll try to get my partner to come with me for moral support and company… Other solutions are finding something you enjoy doing, if there’s a sport or activity you like, go for it. Or something you’ve always wanted to try? My sister likes fun aerobics classes and goes with a few friends.

• Yur_babeydoll mentioned getting plants –they will definitely brighten things up. But if you want something else to look after, consider getting a pet? I keep gerbils, but my friend keeps encouraging me to get a cat or dog, for company and greater responsibility. A dog would also encourage you to do exercise ‘cause it’d need walking! I just like having the company of having a pet.

OK, I think I’ve said everything I wanted to say at the moment. I’m sorry for writing reams, but I think I get across what I want to say better if I have enough words to explain.
Apologies if i've said anything that annoys anyone.

I hope I can offer some help or support.
If you (or anyone else) would like to PM or email me feel free.

All the best wishes honey, I hope everything works out for you. xxx Anna


PS: Don't know if it matters, but I'm 24, a psychology graduate with a view to becoming a counsellor someday, mental health permitting. (Just realised the only info you had for me was my mental health status!)

 

[kokometro]

I've suffered on and off with depression my whole life. Finally.. I'm done with that!!!

One thing that no one talks about is diet in regards to depression. The foods are now loaded with chemicals that interact with our body chemistry. Especially if you are eating meat/dairy which has all kinds of hormones and chemicals.

Sugar / artificial sweetners can also have an effect on depression.

I started eating clean. Picked up books from the library like Skinny Bitch and got the biggest awakening of my life. It makes sense!!!
Once I cleaned up my diet my depression/anxiety improved so much and I was able to get some relief to help deal with personal issues.

You'll also want to investigate the possibility of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

There are many natural products that assist in depression. I just got a book from Amazon called Prescription Alternatives by Earl Mindell. It was 6 dollars and it's terrific. Good luck!

 

[Paramnesia]

For me I got the motivation to tell my doctor when I stopped eating and my sleeping pattern changed. It was just before my exams and I really need to pass.
I'm still currently trying to deal with it, I'm on anti-depressants which have worked but currently I've been highly anxious and anxious about stupid little things.
Exercise is great and keeping busy. I live alone for parts of the year so I have to force myself to be social and get out.

 

[AmberLilith]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokometro One thing that no one talks about is diet in regards to depression. The foods are now loaded with chemicals that interact with our body chemistry. Especially if you are eating meat/dairy which has all kinds of hormones and chemicals. Sugar / artificial sweetners can also have an effect on depression.

Totally agree with this.
Whilst sugary foods are great comfort foods, the come-down from the sugar high is not good.
I know it's not always noticeable, especially if you have as sugar-laden a diet as i have.. but after making changes to your diet, it will be noticeable!!

It's hard, especially if you have an emotional relationship with food, such as comfort eating, binging, purging or reducing/starving; but making changes is worth it.
Again, try to get some moral support -a friend or partner who'll cut down on unhealthy stuff with you. And have small rewards with you too!
Find ways of getting more fruit n veg in your diet, less fat, less sugar. I'm trying to replace my sugary snacks of chocolate and cake with fruit and breakfast cereal.. it's a start anyway. K, sorry, you don't need a lecture about healthy eating!!

Best wishes xxx

 

[AmberLilith]

Another thing, as sleeping patterns have been mentioned...
If your depression means you lose routine in sleeping and eating, try to get the routine back!!
I know it's hard if you never want to get out of bed, or you sleep too much or too little, but having a routine does help!

 

[Paramnesia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberLilith Another thing, as sleeping patterns have been mentioned... If your depression means you lose routine in sleeping and eating, try to get the routine back!! I know it's hard if you never want to get out of bed, or you sleep too much or too little, but having a routine does help!

Oh I fully agree. Also a good healthy diet.
My sleeping pattern was really messed up, it didn't matter what time I'd wake up at, I could never get to sleep till 4-7am. Not even Valium would make me sleep.

 

[AmberLilith]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paramnesia Oh I fully agree. Also a good healthy diet. My sleeping pattern was really messed up, it didn't matter what time I'd wake up at, I could never get to sleep till 4-7am. Not even Valium would make me sleep.

My sleeping patterns can be insane. Or not patterned at all!
Sometimes i'm awake til six am then asleep til seven pm. I get anything between 3 and 15 hours sleep...
Trying to get back to normal hours, but it's hard.
I generally need at least 8 hours or i'm a nightmare. Recently i've had a chest infection too which has affected my sleep.
Antidepressants can have varying effects on sleep too ... one that i was on in the past made me very fidgety/jumpy and i'd get restless legs when i was trying to sleep. Another made me sleep late and then feel doped and dozy all day. My current one is ok though.

I guess it's when i'm wanting to sleep more and more that i realise i'm getting worse. For some people it's sleeping more, others insomnia and sleeping less.

 

[JULIA]

I saw my dad suffer with depression and I knew that was a road I didn't want to take. I tried my best to live with it but then it started to affect my schooling and teachers started jumping down my throat about late/incomplete assignments etc. I went to my guidance counselor about dropping most of my classes and she wanted to know what was really going on. I decided then and there that I had to admit to myself that I was suffering and that I had to do something about it. She told me to go to my family doctor and from there my doctor sent me to a family center where I get free treatment from a great therapist

 

[Kalico]

Vitamin D helps too, just supplementing it with 400IU a day can help a bunch.

There's a book called the "Feeling Good Handbook" that's been very popular. It's based on behavioral cognitive therapy and helps unwind your negative thinking patterns. I swear, you really don't realize how messed up your thinking is until you pick up this book!