Welfare abuse

[mzcelaneous]

Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about MissChievious.

I've known mothers who are on welfare and are living the lavish life. Not working at all, using their money to go to the club, designer purses, and couture jeans. It pisses me off because my fiance and I work hard for our money and these so-called women pop out children after children to support their lifestyle. I'm not claiming to be the perfect model parent, but I work to provide for my family and make sure their needs/wants are met. What sucks is that a lot of people lie to receive government help. I used to work at a social services office and we'd catch a lot -- A LOT-- of folks lying. *Siiigggghhhhhh*

girl...

 

[quandolak]

What and incredibly bitchy comment!


Even if you knew the girl im sur e you have never been through the ourgatory of being a single mother and assuming she has a cushy life. Bleive me even if you have a home and enough monsy to feed and clothe a kid its not cushy in any way being a single mother on benefits.

Also i do not know one single parent in the world who seriously doesn nothing all day yet we are told we spend all day twiddling our thumbs by people who are so utterly ignorant and who havent got the facts straight.

Its rather predictable you use the 19 year old as an example as in europe the majority of single mothers are 35 plus...as opposed to the tabloid fed dillusions that your talking about

It costs alot to keep a kid in good nick alot of money and from my own experience from the miniscule ammount of money i get each fortnight that everyone tells me i have no right to..there is less than $5 left over from it... being a mother is harder than working two jobs i know...and red tape makes it practically impossible to get back to work again even however much you want to stand on your owntwo feet...

Of course your so busy with your life that you even had enough time to watch her 24/7 do nothing...hah motherhood if you have it in the future will hit hard...
anyway continue with you painfully embarrasing generalisations...


Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous OK this doesn't really have to do with the question but I have to rant about this, because it really annoys me. Here in Switzerland, we have a social state welfare system which helps people who are in need, especially families and single mothers who have young children and can't work full time. So with that precursor... There's this girl who is in our extended circle of friends who - when she was 19 - got knocked up by her then-boyfriend. (They aren't together anymore, they had the most dysfunctional relationship evar!) Apparently, "the pill didn't work" which is just thr first thing that pisses me off because if you take the pill CORRECTLY without any previous health hazards, it is 99.9% effective, and if you take it incorrectly, you get pregnant. It's that simple. So anyway, even though she was in this really dysfunctional relationship with that guy, and I mean they had no hope in hell of staying together the rest of their lives, she decided to have the baby anyway. She has some work training as a salesperson in a grocery store - so not exactly a job with a really bright future, and I mean, she didn't earn a lot of money there. So now the kid is like 2 or 3 years old and she's living in this really nice 3.5 room apartment which costs her like almost nothing because it's being heavily financed by social housing, and on top of that she's getting a nice sum from the government each month for child allowance, and also the baby's father pays her money each month. Now, I'm glad the baby has a nice home and all, but it seriously annoys me that this girl has maybe worked 1-2 years at most (and not even full time I think), and now she lives in this really nice apartment and doesn't basically have to lift a finger work-wise. Even though she has parents who live close by who could watch the child while she gets a part-time job maybe on some evening or something, she doesn't. And what pisses me off is that my boyfriend and I are working full time (45 hrs a week), and now have to find an apartment as well and we're not exactly swimming in money! We have so many deductions on our income because of taxes, insurance, etc etc. And it just pisses me off that this selfish girl decided to have a kid at 19 and gets this nice cushy life and she's not even working, and my boyfriend and I are right now living with relatives until we save up enough money to buy furniture and get our own place, and both of us are working our asses off. Sigh. I mean I think the social welfare state is good over all, but sometimes I think there isn't any incentive for people like her to actually get to work again and start paying back taxes and all the money the government has given her, just because it's easier to have a child and play mommy and not have to get up every morning and work like every other person. I mean, I get up at 6:30am and I come home at 7pm, and usually go to bed around 9 or 10pm so I feel rested in the morning. I get like 2 hours max each day to myself, and if I have chores to do like washing clothes, doing laundry, etc, it's like I get nothing. I get up, work, come home, do chores, go to bed - rinse & repeat Monday to Friday. And this girl does NOTHING and she's able to live a very comfortable life. It just annoys me when I think about it. Some girls - to put it bluntly - if they are too STUPID to use birth control correctly, should just not be having sex and putting babies onto this world that the government has to pay for. /rant

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Also i do not know one single parent in the world who seriously doesn nothing all day yet we are told we spend all day twiddling our thumbs by people who are so utterly ignorant and who havent got the facts straight.

I know of a few. They get away with it because the grandparents (the girls' parents) raise the children. Not all single parents are lazy and mooch off of others. I know some awesome single parents who are better than some of the couple parents I know. However, there are some single parents who barely do a thing for their children

 

[little teaser]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzcelaneous Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about MissChievious. I've known mothers who are on welfare and are living the lavish life. Not working at all, using their money to go to the club, designer purses, and couture jeans. It pisses me off because my fiance and I work hard for our money and these so-called women pop out children after children to support their lifestyle. I'm not claiming to be the perfect model parent, but I work to provide for my family and make sure their needs/wants are met. What sucks is that a lot of people lie to receive government help. I used to work at a social services office and we'd catch a lot -- A LOT-- of folks lying. *Siiigggghhhhhh* girl...

whaaaaaaat!! how can anyone have a lavish life on welfare if that was the case every one would be on welfare and oh gosh people lie to the goverment the goverments are the BIGGEST liers

 

[little teaser]

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[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by little teaser whaaaaaaat!! how can anyone have a lavish life on welfare if that was the case every one would be on welfare and oh gosh people lie to the goverment the goverments are the BIGGEST liers

I'm sorry you took what I said out of context but I wasn't saying everyone on welfare lives that way. I'm talking from personal experiences. I actually know the girls who are on welfare and they actually do live lavishly. $500 mortgage in subsidized houses, Hermes purses, Cartier jewelry, True Religion jeans, Cadillac Escalade's on 20" rims, Xbox 360's....I mean the whole deal. I've seen their checks and I think it's crazy. I work 40 hours a week and if I wanted all of the above it would take me some serious saving to do.

Also, I'm not disagreeing about the government issue

 

[quandolak]

It must explain why here and in the uk all the single mums i know live in shelters or council houses/apartments...cos they got sooo much money they are living it up ..heck they even shop at op-shops...

 

[quandolak]

p.s the goverments in the uk and australia i know will not let people spend their whole life on benefits and especially single mums...so they look after their kids till they are at school then work after....whats so wrong about that?....other people work first then have kids.... both tend to end up making the same tax contributions and in the end single mum have to work a hell of a lot harder to have a half reasonable life.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by quandolak It must explain why here and in the uk all the single mums i know live in shelters or council houses/apartments...cos they got sooo much money they are living it up ..heck they even shop at op-shops...

Now, now, now....no need to get offensive because I didn't make a generalized statement against ALL mothers on welfare, just the few I know. Remind you, I did work at a social services office once so I know how the "real mothers on support" live.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by quandolak p.s the goverments in the uk and australia i know will not let people spend their whole life on benefits and especially single mums...so they look after their kids till they are at school then work after....whats so wrong about that?

There is certainly nothing wrong with that. I was a SAHM the first 2 years of my daughters life. Granted, her father worked & provided for us, but I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

ok all you childless people nobody cares about your baby makeing decions thats YOUR choice and YOUR bussiness but pleeeeeeeeeeeeease dont try to jude other peoples parenting skills or how you think they should and shouldnt provide if you think you got all the answers and knowledge of what a parent should be why dont you have somes kids and show every one who isnt doing it the proper way the correct way and if not then you need to mind YOUR own bussines cause you really dont have a clue what it's like....

Going out and clubbing and partying 24/7 while your parents raise your kids is not being a good parent. I don't have to have a child to know that.

I think you'd have to be pretty dumb to think that, honestly.

 

[Lady_MAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by little teaser ok all you childless people nobody cares about your baby makeing decions thats YOUR choice and YOUR bussiness but pleeeeeeeeeeeeease dont try to jude other peoples parenting skills or how you think they should and shouldnt provide if you think you got all the answers and knowledge of what a parent should be why dont you have somes kids and show every one who isnt doing it the proper way the correct way and if not then you need to mind YOUR own bussines cause you really dont have a clue what it's like....

Seriously. People really do judge far too quickly. I'm sure that people who do not know me well use me as one of those "Well I know a girl who.." examples. So yeah, I got out dancing almost every weekend or do some sort of recreational activity. People who bother to ask before writing me off as a single mother who throws her kid on other people to party 24/7, would know that L is with her father from Friday-Sunday (and I actually miss her terribly while she's gone). Yeah, who knew.

I do know mothers on welfare who have extravagant items, but most people do not realize that they get many of these things as gifts. And you know, so what if a mom treats herself. As someone who speaks on their behalf directly to the social assistance workers & to city hall- they deserve nice things(as does everybody from time to time).

And people having fancy cars, jewelry and whatnot while on welfare is highly unlikely.. I almost think some of you are exaggerating. A single mom with one child does not receive more that $900 here, and rent is usually around $750. Hmmmmm. Add one more child? $1000. Yeah right. If the mom receives subsidized housing, that is 1/3 of her income- that's still not quite the lavish lifestyle.

Quote:

Its rather predictable you use the 19 year old as an example as in europe the majority of single mothers are 35 plus...as opposed to the tabloid fed dillusions that your talking about

Yup. Always the young mothers.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_MAC And people having fancy cars, jewelry and whatnot while on welfare is highly unlikely.. I almost think some of you are exaggerating. A single mom with one child does not receive more that $900 here, and rent is usually around $750. Hmmmmm. Add one more child? $1000. Yeah right. If the mom receives subsidized housing, that is 1/3 of her income- that's still not quite the lavish lifestyle.

Which brings me back to this.... Quote:

What sucks is that a lot of people lie to receive government help. I used to work at a social services office and we'd catch a lot -- A LOT-- of folks lying. *Siiigggghhhhhh

I know that the real mothers on welfare cannot afford to do so.

ETA: Subsidized housing can be really dirt cheap 'round here. No joke. And there is nothing wrong with a mother treating herself. There IS something wrong however when she gets the top of the line things for herself and then gets frugal with her children *shrugs*.

 

[Lady_MAC]

Were the people that you found lying, people that you would consider "well off", or could they really use that money? I am sure that it is safe to say that people who lie are still likely under the poverty line. Those that are truly pulling a scam get charge & wind up on the 6 o'clock news.. here at least.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_MAC Were the people that you found lying, people that you would consider "well off", or could they really use that money? I am sure that it is safe to say that people who lie are still likely under the poverty line. Those that are truly pulling a scam get charge & wind up on the 6 o'clock news.. here at least.

Oh most def, even I think it's safe to say that. I think they are well off and I wouldn't be suprised if they're actually working with the social workers because I've anonymously reported them numerous times, the workers came to their houses unexpectedly and some how they keep getting off?

 

[Lady_MAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzcelaneous And there is nothing wrong with a mother treating herself. There IS something wrong however when she gets the top of the line things for herself and then gets frugal with her children *shrugs*.

You know, I consider myself "frugal" when it comes to my daughter, and it's not like I'm not socioeconomically privileged. I get her cheap clothes from H&M because she'll grow and get dirty. I also neglect to buy her expensive toys, and if I do, it's not in great numbers. I buy large quantities of books... sometimes from the dollar store *gasp*, sometimes even used *double gasp*.

In my opinion, I don't see it being a negative thing, so long as the child is healthy, happy & thriving. Sure some people will go to Goodwill to get their childs clothing, but purchase their clothing brand new- so what? I've heard you can find some real gems there anyway.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

eriously. People really do judge far too quickly. I'm sure that people who do not know me well use me as one of those "Well I know a girl who.." examples. So yeah, I got out dancing almost every weekend or do some sort of recreational activity. People who bother to ask before writing me off as a single mother who throws her kid on other people to party 24/7, would know that L is with her father from Friday-Sunday (and I actually miss her terribly while she's gone). Yeah, who knew.

In the situations I mentioned, these are daughters of close family friends (we're more like family), so I know what's going on quite well. The children identify the grandparents more as the parents than the mother (the fathers are out of the picture and don't seem to be making another entrance any time soon.) The children cry when they have to return to their actual mothers. It isn't a once in a while thing or a weekly occurrence; it's constant. It's sad for me to see it, because it breaks the hearts of the grandparents and leaves in question what'll happen when the child gets older (one set of grandparents has terrible health.) No, it isn't everyone, because I've known my share of fabulous single mothers without the father in sight who do well. They raise their kids properly, have time for themselves, and are good people overall. I'm not trying to generalize that single mothers=evil, bad, irresponsible women, but I am making a point that these situations exist, are not figments of my imagination, and are quite sad.

I know people who were on welfare during high school. IMO, they misused whatever money they received. They bought the latest sneakers every month and had flashy clothing. They sacrificed practical needs for it. I've also known many people who've used welfare for helping feed their families, pay the rent, etc.

I think the moral of the story in all of this is that you can't make generalizations. Not all single mothers are good or bad. Not everyone on welfare deserves it but some do. Not everyone is talking out of their asses when they have counter-examples of people/situations. And so on.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_MAC You know, I consider myself "frugal" when it comes to my daughter, and it's not like I'm not socioeconomically privileged. I get her cheap clothes from H&M because she'll grow and get dirty. I also neglect to buy her expensive toys, and if I do, it's not in great numbers. I buy large quantities of books... sometimes from the dollar store *gasp*, sometimes even used *double gasp*. In my opinion, I don't see it being a negative thing, so long as the child is healthy, happy & thriving. Sure some people will go to Goodwill to get their childs clothing, but purchase their clothing brand new- so what? I've heard you can find some real gems there anyway.

Well that's difference between the most of us (myself inluded. I LOVE children's clothes from Target) and people like them. And I should've explained more. I'm not limiting things to just clothes either. Food, car seats, cribs, bottles, etc...things of that matter. It's not an argument between hand-me downs and brand new brand-name items, just the mental aspect of it I guess. I can't picture myself buying high quality things for myself, then cutting it short for my daughter. Or just getting her something just because it's cheap. I'd like for her to have the best you know? Cheap or expensive. New or used. It just doesn't make any sense to me that you would care more about your clothing or whatever it is and then get your kids the stuff that's half-assed (regardless if it is used or new).

 

[Lady_MAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzcelaneous Well that's difference between the most of us (myself inluded. I LOVE children's clothes from Target) and people like them. And I should've explained more. I'm not limiting things to just clothes either. Food, car seats, cribs, bottles, etc...things of that matter. It's not an argument between hand-me downs and brand new brand-name items, just the mental aspect of it I guess. I can't picture myself buying high quality things for myself, then cutting it short for my daughter. Or just getting her something just because it's cheap. I'd like for her to have the best you know? Cheap or expensive. New or used. It just doesn't make any sense to me that you would care more about your clothing or whatever it is and then get your kids the stuff that's half-assed (regardless if it is used or new).

I understand what you're saying then. If a parent is sacrificing necessities, then of course that is not okay- that is abuse. That is why I said so long as the child is happy, healthy & thriving..

I don't know, I could never justify spending a lot of $ on clothing for her (she has a few Ralph Lauren pieces, but that's for special occasions) when it will be going to charity in a few months. I think H&M or Old Navy is sufficient.. she looks well, & it's incredibly inexpensive to me.

I had one more thing to add, but I just can't remember. Been sitting here for awhile trying to remember... oh well.

 

[little teaser]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_MAC You know, I consider myself "frugal" when it comes to my daughter, and it's not like I'm not socioeconomically privileged. I get her cheap clothes from H&M because she'll grow and get dirty. I also neglect to buy her expensive toys, and if I do, it's not in great numbers. I buy large quantities of books... sometimes from the dollar store *gasp*, sometimes even used *double gasp*. In my opinion, I don't see it being a negative thing, so long as the child is healthy, happy & thriving. Sure some people will go to Goodwill to get their childs clothing, but purchase their clothing brand new- so what? I've heard you can find some real gems there anyway.

i agree kids grow sooo fast when i was a first time mother i had alot to learn i would buy exspensive clothes and toys to later find out in six months he would out grow them if they werent ruien first from getting dirty and the toys would get broke in no time so i do still buy nice clothes but save them for special occasions and yes you can find really nice designers on sale for kids but comfort is more important they need room to grow