This is a really interesting topic for me, mostly because I just got married myself. My DH is an amazing, loving and caring man. It's sad, because I know the only place he picked up those traits are from his step-father. His mother is an evil-spirited, manipulative b!tch. When we got engaged, she called everyone she knew to tell them how disappointed and sad she was that her son was marrying a "stupid whore". At the wedding she made up a rumor that the only reason we were getting married is because I was pregnant. That rumor actually started when we got engaged over two years ago, funny now that we don't have any children, but I'm sure she just covered that lie with another about an abortion. Over the past six yeas, I've tried and tried to get to know her and like her, but the first time she met me, she put me down in front of a large crowd of her friends and made fun of me for things that weren't true at all. (ie: that I was a high school dropout instead of a college student, applying for graduate school) She continued to do stuff like this every time I was around her. One of the worst things about her is that she lies. She tells half-truths at the best and they aren't always about me. At a family reunion a few years ago she told everyone that I was a fat african-american muslim, and couldn't be trusted. (her words not mine.) It was pretty obvious when I showed up that I was caucasian and not fat. The twisted thing was, she covered that lie up with other lies to make me sound worse and her family believed the lies. She's also, sadly, a racist. She hates anyone who is different from her, and raised her children to believe the same way. Last year she spread a horrible like about her own niece and nephew. She told everyone that they were illigal immigrants who were adopted from Asia and carried life threatening diseases. It turned out in the end, she was just trying to prevent people from going to visit their family while their mother was undergoing a medical procedure, when the kids could have used some support. After I met the kids, I realized there is no helping this woman. Her neice and nephew aren't asian, although they are adopted they aren't illigal they were adopted from a woman in Tennesee who wasn't ready to have children yet, and are living a very healthy life with their adopted parents. I have no idea what my MIL did to her kids when they were young, but I know my DH and I go to a councelor/therapist once in a while and to talk about him and his relatinoship with his mother and how it effects us. Some of the stories he has related to me have just about broken my heart. The latest thing that my MIL is spreading about me/the DH is that I'm somehow destroying her son through the devil and drugs and turning him against her. What she doesn't realize, or maybe she does and can't come to terms with it, is that she did that to herself years ago. The only reason my DH ever went home to "visit" was to see his step-father. Maybe if she had been a loving, honest mother, he would want to talk and be around her. I have to say the worst thing she did was encourage my DH to cheat on me. She said she could find a "nice Christian girl" for him to go out with who would make her happy, and be a good influence on him, etc, etc. I was appauled, not only that she would suggest something like that, especially followed with the words "good Christian" after it. She tried once right in front of me and failed, and tried a second time when I was away. (figuring my DH only got mad because I was around) DH told her off and we haven't seen her since. Also, MIL did this to her own daughter as well, so it's not just me and my DH. Its my MILs problem with the world. She hated her first SIL, treated him like crap and still does for NO reason. The guy is fantastic! It's just sad that my MIL is not a nice person.
So, to me, the idea of the "evil" daughter-in-law ruffles a few of my feathers, but only for personal reasons. Mostly because I've been called that before, and for no reason at all other than a vindictive and mean MIL. I'm sure there are DIL and SIL that are terrible and mean, but I hate getting that wrap without having done anything other that marrying her son!
A good example of a DIL and SIL is my & my mother's relationship with my brothers finacé and my DH's sister. My mom adores my brother's fiance and they get along great, she is a sweet respectful girl, and we all get along, even though we have different interests, we got along at first and now are good friends. I also adore my DHs sister, she is an amazing woman who I would call a sister and a true friend any day.
ugh....sorry for my rant...but it's nice to vent to someone other than my DH and my mom about the MIL.
Oh, and I really hope none of this offended anyone...I wasn't meaning to offend and I seem to do that in my rants....so....if I did, appologies in advance.
