"...a Son is yours until he takes a wife."

kaliraksha

Well-known member
I find this really interesting. I am of Latin background and in my family/culture the husband integrates into the wife's family. It has been that way with my Dad and all my Uncles and my Grandpas, etc.

However, my significant other is Indian and in their culture the wife integrates into the husband's family. So I think we're just going to have to find a way to balance out both sides of the family?
 

Ruby_Woo

Well-known member
I think it depends on the relationship the son/mother had. I thin if it was a good strong bond, nothing can break it, and if it was you know ok, not too great it will.

My mom worked a lot to support 5 kids, so my brother and I raised my siblings. Well I am close to my mom (maybe cus Im a girl? ) my brother got married and completly stopped talking to EVERYONE in my family, including me. I think had he and my mom had a better relationship this wouldn't have happened. but oh well, you know? Karma. He has a daughter, lets hope he doesn't feel what he's done to my mom.
 

aleksis210

Well-known member
It's because guys think with their dicks. They are gonna listen to the woman that gives them tang. Another thing I wanted to add though is that A LOT of moms are weird with their sons thus creating tension with the new wife, whereas that usually won't happen with a daughter and her new husband.
 

FiestyFemme

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by mafalda
Mmh, might be a cultural thing - but I have yet to meet a man who does not have strong momma's boy tendencies. I have never met one who would have turned away from his mooooooommmmmy for his wife's sake...
(And I still believe that it's the mothers that are responsible for turning so many male human beings into spineless suckers. Some of them don't, but so many mothers of sons are just incredibly selfish. And yes, I do have sons - and I try my best not to do that.
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Efionawade

Well-known member
I totally dealt with this kind of situation right during the weeks of my brother and SIL getting married! She turned into an absolute bridezilla and she stayed like that for quite a while after they got married as well, but she hadn't been as crazy until it started getting down to the crunch time before the wedding. She completely overpowered my sweet brother, and it was awful how she treated my family!

I had bright red hair at her wedding and she was angry at me because she thought that -I- would take away the attention from her at her wedding! She wanted me to change my hair just for her wedding because she was so angry at me.

I kind of just walked on eggshells around her while she was being so heinous, and my brother came to me the day before their wedding, crying, and he begged me to still love him if he married her. It made me realize how much he really did love her, and that there must be some good traits hidden under her being such a crazybitch. So I went looking for those good traits, and now, I get along with her great!
 

kabuki_KILLER

Well-known member
Ah I noticed that often the wife does that to the guy. I'll make sure that if I ever have children (heaven forbid), that if they do get married, that both the girl and the son respect the parents at least. Or else I'm going to fry a b*tch. Those little prisses better not mess with me or I'll put their butt on the floor and then some. ^_^ And I'll smile while doing it.

I think parents and family always deserve respect, given that they're decent people, even if you don't like them that much.
 

Makeup Emporium

Well-known member
I am so lucky to have a great relationship with my in-laws. They have 2 sons and I married the eldest. The youngest one lives 3,000 miles away so it is my husband and I who are always near his parents (who happen to live 5 minutes away).

They have always been nice to me and call me, as well as treat me, as their daughter. Maybe it was easier for me to fit in as they had 2 sons and no daughter? Not sure but I do know that everyone gets along great.

Recently their younger son got married (we all travelled together for the wedding) and my mother in-law turned to me and said "I only hope that she is as good for him and the family as you are to yours and us." I think that was possibly the nicest thing she could ever say to me!!
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Actually I just did a day long shopping road-trip with her yesterday! Trust me I know the horror stories so I definitely count my blessings!
 

AmiS4ys

Well-known member
thats interesting. ive heard it the other way around: sons are forever, daughters are yours til they find a husband.

i hope their relationship is healthy. people who tend to block off the rest of the family have a tendency of breaking relationships. =/
 

joey444

Well-known member
Oh yeah, I've heard that saying before and thank God I have two daughters!!
Truthfully though, my relationship with my in laws is great and I would never even think of disrespecting them. I love when my husband goes to check on his mom or calls her to check on her because I'm a firm believer that they way a man treats his mom is the way he'll end up treating you.
I just don't like when parents (even mine) want to get into your business or think that you should be handling things different in your house. That's a no-no for me; they lived their lives, ran their house and raised their kids the way they wanted to, now let me raise mine is the way I feel. If I ever disagree with something that my in-laws do, I talk to my husband and he handles it.
Again, though, disrespecting anyone in the family, is something that I would never do.
 

nelyanaphonexia

Well-known member
This is a really interesting topic for me, mostly because I just got married myself. My DH is an amazing, loving and caring man. It's sad, because I know the only place he picked up those traits are from his step-father. His mother is an evil-spirited, manipulative b!tch. When we got engaged, she called everyone she knew to tell them how disappointed and sad she was that her son was marrying a "stupid whore". At the wedding she made up a rumor that the only reason we were getting married is because I was pregnant. That rumor actually started when we got engaged over two years ago, funny now that we don't have any children, but I'm sure she just covered that lie with another about an abortion. Over the past six yeas, I've tried and tried to get to know her and like her, but the first time she met me, she put me down in front of a large crowd of her friends and made fun of me for things that weren't true at all. (ie: that I was a high school dropout instead of a college student, applying for graduate school) She continued to do stuff like this every time I was around her. One of the worst things about her is that she lies. She tells half-truths at the best and they aren't always about me. At a family reunion a few years ago she told everyone that I was a fat african-american muslim, and couldn't be trusted. (her words not mine.) It was pretty obvious when I showed up that I was caucasian and not fat. The twisted thing was, she covered that lie up with other lies to make me sound worse and her family believed the lies. She's also, sadly, a racist. She hates anyone who is different from her, and raised her children to believe the same way. Last year she spread a horrible like about her own niece and nephew. She told everyone that they were illigal immigrants who were adopted from Asia and carried life threatening diseases. It turned out in the end, she was just trying to prevent people from going to visit their family while their mother was undergoing a medical procedure, when the kids could have used some support. After I met the kids, I realized there is no helping this woman. Her neice and nephew aren't asian, although they are adopted they aren't illigal they were adopted from a woman in Tennesee who wasn't ready to have children yet, and are living a very healthy life with their adopted parents. I have no idea what my MIL did to her kids when they were young, but I know my DH and I go to a councelor/therapist once in a while and to talk about him and his relatinoship with his mother and how it effects us. Some of the stories he has related to me have just about broken my heart. The latest thing that my MIL is spreading about me/the DH is that I'm somehow destroying her son through the devil and drugs and turning him against her. What she doesn't realize, or maybe she does and can't come to terms with it, is that she did that to herself years ago. The only reason my DH ever went home to "visit" was to see his step-father. Maybe if she had been a loving, honest mother, he would want to talk and be around her. I have to say the worst thing she did was encourage my DH to cheat on me. She said she could find a "nice Christian girl" for him to go out with who would make her happy, and be a good influence on him, etc, etc. I was appauled, not only that she would suggest something like that, especially followed with the words "good Christian" after it. She tried once right in front of me and failed, and tried a second time when I was away. (figuring my DH only got mad because I was around) DH told her off and we haven't seen her since. Also, MIL did this to her own daughter as well, so it's not just me and my DH. Its my MILs problem with the world. She hated her first SIL, treated him like crap and still does for NO reason. The guy is fantastic! It's just sad that my MIL is not a nice person.

So, to me, the idea of the "evil" daughter-in-law ruffles a few of my feathers, but only for personal reasons. Mostly because I've been called that before, and for no reason at all other than a vindictive and mean MIL. I'm sure there are DIL and SIL that are terrible and mean, but I hate getting that wrap without having done anything other that marrying her son!

A good example of a DIL and SIL is my & my mother's relationship with my brothers finacé and my DH's sister. My mom adores my brother's fiance and they get along great, she is a sweet respectful girl, and we all get along, even though we have different interests, we got along at first and now are good friends. I also adore my DHs sister, she is an amazing woman who I would call a sister and a true friend any day.
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ugh....sorry for my rant...but it's nice to vent to someone other than my DH and my mom about the MIL.
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Oh, and I really hope none of this offended anyone...I wasn't meaning to offend and I seem to do that in my rants....so....if I did, appologies in advance.
 
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