What age did you lovely ladies get engaged?

Kazzii-Loves-MA

Well-known member
so im in a dilemma, please dont think bad of me. but id really love to get engaged (im 16). yes it may seem young to people and i completely understand thats why iv chosen to wait a little while. i have been with my boy friend nearly three years, we get on great, we see eachother every week. we both have our own thing like he has work hes an engineer and im going to college to do beauty. i feel i am ready and mature enough to take the next step, i was wondering what everyone though and how old everyone was when they got engaged? thanks everyone
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no haters please, i realise i might be young, but your opinion expressed politely would be a lovely help. thankyou x x
 

gildedangel

Well-known member
Personally, and my boyfriend knows this, I refuse to be engaged until I am at least 20, and I refuse to get married until I am out of college. It's my personal decision. I am 19 now, and I wouldn't be surprised if I was engaged a year from now.
You can get engaged whenever you want, but I suggest waiting until you are both out of school to get married. It is good to be financially stable before you get married and have a family together; I hate to see when people get married too soon and they worry about finances all of the time. I am not hating on you, I am just giving my suggestion from what I have experienced through other people. There is nothing wrong with a long engagement, I plan on having one myself!
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Kazzii-Loves-MA

Well-known member
You talk alot of sense hunny. i was actually planning a long engagement, my sister she got engaged about 17/18/19 sorry dont know which around that age, and she got married at 25. she is a police officer, she has a beautiful house, she is now a married woman and trying for a child. so id love to do it that way, because its such a special thing. i do feel im mature enough to get engaged now, i would never dream of getting married unil i had a stable job. i would rather live with my boy friend/ fiancee first for a year plus and then get married, because then we would know we could get on living with eachother. but i really do love him and i think this could work. people do say it wont last because its my first relationship, but i can see myself getting married and having children with him
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Dr_Girlfriend

Well-known member
I was 21. The thought had never crossed my mind that I'd be in my 20's... Go figure. And now we've been married for 5 happy years. LOL it was a good decision I suppose!

My main point being that you'd be surprised about the things that happen in your life when you aren't expecting them. Had I been out screening potential mates, I would have more than likely been shot down. Yes I think you're too young, but it's your life and your decision and you need to do what make you happy.
 

ms. kendra

Well-known member
I got married at 22. There was no engagement, we just went to the courthouse and did it. This x-mas will be our 7th anniversary but we've been together for eleven years.
 

breezybabe89

Well-known member
I got engaged at 16 and we waited until I graduated from high school to get married. I'm now almost 20 have been married for a little over 2 years and have a beautiful baby boy. So I personally don't see anything wrong with getting engaged young.
 

Kazzii-Loves-MA

Well-known member
i think its cool how people can get married and any reasonable age and be really happy and make a family, i think it always depends on the person. its funny how sometimes it works out and sometimes it just doesnt. my mum got married at 18 and had my brother at 18, she was with her ex husband for 12 years, he was horrible to her. she has been married to my dad for 14 years and they are still happy (she got married to him when she was 32) so it all does depend i think. if i were to get engaged i think id wait to get married till i was atleast 24, just in my opinion. but maybe things will work out differently.
 

tepa1974

Well-known member
The first time I was 18 and we married when we were both 19. That didn't work out and we divorced when we were 25. We grew apart and became 2 different people.
The second time, I was 33 (May 2008). We are taking it slow and haven't set a date yet.
I personally think 16 is too young to be engaged but if you do, just hold off on actually getting married. You'd be surprised how you change from your teens to your early/mid/late 20s and beyond. Good luck in whatever you decide.
 

Kazzii-Loves-MA

Well-known member
Thankyou for being so sweet about it everyone. my boy friend has said he would like to be 20 before getting engaged, he is now 19 (20 in january) i respect that, i was just curious about acceptable ages for engagement. i only want to do it once (i suppose everyone does) i want it to be very special. id love a long engagement for about 6-7 years.
 

GoldenFairy

Well-known member
I'm 29 and still not engaged. Having siad that, I have been in relationships when I was younger where I was pretty sure (at the time) that I had met the man I wanted to marry. However, these relationships dwindled and in hindsight I can see that I was too young to make that kind of commitment, even though my feelings were very real at the time. I'm glad that I didn't go ahead with taking that next step becuase the following step is so permanent and hard work. Now, I don't think I would have been able to stay with the guys I speak of long term as I have changed so much and so have my standards and expectations of men. I think you should give it more time - you are still very young and there's no rush. True love waits.
 

kaliraksha

Well-known member
Hmm, I guess the first time I got asked by my current live in boyfriend I was 17. I replied with "ask me in 10 years." The second time he asked I was 22, I said yes... but then we realized we had a long way left on school. He picked up a double major... I'm transferring to an MA program. It just seemed like we would be able to do it all better after we graduated... including the engagement. So we kind of back tracked and said " I know I want to marry you, but there is no point in having that title right now and being asked every few days when the date is."

So, yeah, we both expect to marry each other... but there is still asking left to be done. I don't push him or say anything simply because I want to see what he can come up with and I honestly want to be surprised by the event even though I won't be suprised by the outcome =)

But, I've seen people wait til they were 30+ to get engaged and it doesn't work and others do it when they're 18 and it works. As somone who has been with my bf since I was a teenager... we grew very differently than what I expected and I'm glad I didn't marry him when I was a teen, because while we were growing I had the room to become who I wanted to and know that I wasn't tied down or had obligations. I've told my boyfriend that I don't need the expiremental phase as long as he is willing to do the things I would do if I were single with me- such as go out and party once in a while, get a little wild, and spend time living in different places. I'm not particulary into dating a lot of men because I'm picky and honestly I have a wonderful thing going. I wish I had met him later in life because I think it would have made for a more well rounded relationship, but my current relationship with him is extremely fulfilling and I'm not willing to part with that.
 

Shadowy Lady

Well-known member
We got engaged when I was 23, and got married at 25. By the time we got engaged, we had already been together for 3 years, had univeristy degrees and full-time jobs.

Honestly I think 16 is waaaay too young to be engaged. I think all I thought about when I was 16 was my school work and boys, def not a potential husband, haha
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I know ppl are saying you can be engaged when you're young and get married later, but to me there isn't that much of a difference. Being engaged is a huge commitment, it's a commitment to marry someone. I wouldn't take it lightly and I would def wait till I was done with high school (at least) before making huge decisions like this....

I know it works for some ppl but honestly there are always better ways to do things. Same way you CAN have a kid if you're 16 and some ppl do manage. But don't you agree it would be better to be a mom when you're financially and emotionally stable?

HTH
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ms. kendra

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenFairy
I'm 29 and still not engaged. Having siad that, I have been in relationships when I was younger where I was pretty sure (at the time) that I had met the man I wanted to marry. However, these relationships dwindled and in hindsight I can see that I was too young to make that kind of commitment, even though my feelings were very real at the time. I'm glad that I didn't go ahead with taking that next step becuase the following step is so permanent and hard work. Now, I don't think I would have been able to stay with the guys I speak of long term as I have changed so much and so have my standards and expectations of men. I think you should give it more time - you are still very young and there's no rush. True love waits.

This is good advice. Give yourself time to grow up and establish something first.
 

Kazzii-Loves-MA

Well-known member
I would never have a child at 16, because i dont feel i could give it much at the moment. im not at all looking down at young mothers/fathers, because it does happen and sometimes young people make brilliant parents. i am done with high school
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sorry im not sure if usa high school and college are in one, but in the uk we finish high school when we are 16 years old and then go onto college which is a seperate thing
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. my boy friend does college and work, well he does work everyday and then takes two weeks out every three months to go to college. but ill be at college for the next two to three years. i dont mind waiting, i cant really say if ill feel differently. i am glad i have asked people, i have got alot of different response. so thankyou girls
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kdemers1221

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kazzii-Loves-MA
I would never have a child at 16, because i dont feel i could give it much at the moment. im not at all looking down at young mothers/fathers, because it does happen and sometimes young people make brilliant parents. i am done with high school
smiles.gif
sorry im not sure if usa high school and college are in one, but in the uk we finish high school when we are 16 years old and then go onto college which is a seperate thing
greengrin.gif
. my boy friend does college and work, well he does work everyday and then takes two weeks out every three months to go to college. but ill be at college for the next two to three years. i dont mind waiting, i cant really say if ill feel differently. i am glad i have asked people, i have got alot of different response. so thankyou girls
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in the u.s. most people are 18 when they graduate from high school thats why most people were saying to wait until you graduate. personally, i think 16 is too young. you won't believe the changes that can happen in a couple years between people... especially the changes you'll see in yourself between 16 and mid 20's. i honestly would wait until you know who you are... have a life outside of your significant other, know that you can take care of yourself without him around. i'm 21 and my boyfriend is 20 we've been together over 2 years... we know we want to get married but we also want to be able to afford to be married and everything that goes with it. we both want to experience life before we settle down. if you want a long engagement what is the harm in just staying boyfriend/girlfriend for a couple more years??? my advice would just be to experience life while you still can... now days people want to grow up so fast... don't wish your youth away and good luck!!
 

stronqerx

Well-known member
Last year when I was 20. I've been with him for 7 yrs and he was my first boyfriend. When I was 16 I had already been with him for 2 yrs, and being engaged was the last thing on my mind. I knew I loved him and figured I wanted to marry him, but having that title was too serious back then. I was too busy enjoying my youth. I don't regret anything back then, me and him had so much fun just being teens. My parents would of probably whooped my ass if I told them i was engaged back then lmao. My dad started crying when my fiance spoke to him about marrying me last year. Im like c`mon i been with him for 7 yrs!!
 
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