11-year-old boy marries 10-year-old cousin

[Xqueeze_me]

Here's the article.

I feel sad for these 2 kids. They're not even in high school and are already preparing to get married. COUSINS too! Wouldn't the mix of DNA cause some abnormality to their kids when they (want to) have kids in the future...?

 

[pahblov]

The cousin thing is a little shady in terms of children...

I'm feel very wary of passing judgement on situations like this. Culturally, it's obviously not accepted, as the schoolmaster states that it is inappropriate. Clearly there is a part of the story in terms of family background that we are missing. It's possible that the couple is truly happy to be getting married.

 

[Simply Elegant]

Abnormalities don't start happening usually until a few generations have married their family members.

Anyway, I still think it's wrong morally for them to get married because of age and being related. I don't know who would allow this type of thing to happen.

 

[Divinity]

WHY should we feel sad for these two? An earlier post said this and I'm curious as to why. If these two are in love and are wanting to make that commitment, who are we judge? I, personally, have a hard time making sense of such a commitment at such a young age. But that's me and this is them. There is obviously more to the relationship than what has been printed. I wish them the best.

 

[GreekChick]

That is quite common in the Middle East, and particularly in Asian countries such as India.
It makes me wonder if getting married young also allows them to consumate their marriage young...Is it okay to have sex after marriage at 10 years old, when one hasn't even hit puberty yet?
To answer your question, there have been many cases where the mix of DNA has caused abnormalities, especially affecting the blood cells. Here in Quebec, there are alot of Tremblay's (that being the last name). They are all descendants of Pierre Tremblay, who lived many centuries ago . Today however, they do not consider eachother family, seeing that there are thousands of Tremblays all around the globe, who all share the one single ancestor. When a Tremblay chooses to marry another Tremblay, their kids are at risk, and medical exams have to be done before the couple chooses to have children.

 

[GreekChick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Divinity WHY should we feel sad for these two? An earlier post said this and I'm curious as to why. If these two are in love and are wanting to make that commitment, who are we judge? I, personally, have a hard time making sense of such a commitment at such a young age. But that's me and this is them. There is obviously more to the relationship than what has been printed. I wish them the best.

Inlove at 11 years old? No. Something tells me it was forced.

 

[glam8babe]

thats sick... im 18 and i think thats TOO young to get married

 

[blazeno.8]

I have to agree with the teacher.

 

[as_cute_as_pie]

"I am ready for this marriage. It will help me study better"

now THAT doesn't even make sense

 

[Hilly]

I don't care if these two have found love. Who knows that shit at 10 and 11? It's pretty sad. I don't care if it is culturally accepted or not. I am not down with this at all! Especially since they are cousins! I thought this was a joke at first. I guess I am being ignorant, but it's my opinion.

 

[gigglegirl]

no kidding. i mean think back to when you were young, (at 10 did I even like boys?) but around 14-16 people are what they think is love, but often we grow up, and realize how different we are when we continue to evolve as a person.

I just find it REALLY hard to accept that an 10 and 11 year old are truly in love. And the idea of kids! (not even teenagers) that young having sex is scary.

 

[AmberLilith]

I think 10/11 is too young to decide you're in love. I don't think they're at a stage of cognitive or emotional development to be able to cope with it or to make the decision.
It's hard enough to contemplate the next 20+ years of your life when you're 20, let alone when you're 10. And to consider spending the rest of your life with someone?!

 

[*Stargazer*]

No 10 or 11 year old is emotionally mature enough to actually be in love. I would be willing to bet this has less to do with love than the parents having some kind of business deal over the girl and a dowry.

 

[Divinity]

Quote:

Originally Posted by as_cute_as_pie "I am ready for this marriage. It will help me study better" now THAT doesn't even make sense

Like I said, there's more to the story than what is printed here.

 

[frocher]

.........

 

[GreekChick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frocher Usually the girl continues to live with her family until after puberty then moves in with her husband's family.

Why do they marry young then? Why not wait until after puberty? My only guess would be to create and assure a union, correct me if I'm wrong...

 

[frocher]

..........

 

[FullWroth]

From a historical perspective, they're at the perfect age to get married as many of our ancestors were probably between 11-14 when they married too, and surely not all of those marriages ended in chaos and disaster because they were too young when they got married. I don't see anything *inherently* wrong in this, necessarily. Lots of people far older than 11 make incredibly stupid decisions to marry incredibly wrong people for incredibly wrong reasons, so preteens definitely don't have a monopoly on stupid marriage decisions.

That said, I don't see the point. People live a lot longer these days, childbirth is a lot easier, and you don't need to have a lot of kids to help on the farm or to ensure the continuation of the family line. Those being the big 3 reasons for marrying so young, there isn't a lot of reason left over. Also working against them are modern labor laws, which didn't exist back then, so it's not like either of them will be able to provide each other a life together until much later anyway.

So while I don't necessarily think it's too young from an objective standpoint (I wouldn't personally do it or like it if my hypothetical imaginary children did it, but whatev, two Saudi kids' marriage doesn't affect me and I hope they can pull it off), I do think it's kinda silly and unnecessary and probably more than a little driven by the adults in charge of them. I wonder why they don't just get betrothed or something and save the actual marriage 'til later.

I'm also really curious about the full story there, though, 'cause the article's pretty brief and vague.

 

[nunu]

I'm originally from the middle east but i moved to the UK for my studies and from knowledge i know that this is very frequent in many Asian/ Middle eastern cultures. They do not necessarily do the whole marriage thing(no signed papers are required and no wedding night till they both reach puberty), it is like an engagment so the 2 people know they are promised for each other, even though they don't love each other but when they reach the age of marriage 18 onwards they can preform the wedding cermony and move in together. I know that my culture grew out of this and where i am from (Sultanate of Oman), which is by Saudi arabia, we do not practise these traditions anymore (some parts still do and it is slowly disapearing)

I admit that it is quite selfish on behalf of the parents side to let young kids get married but they are doing it because they think that they have secured their kids's future. I know it sounds weird since we are meant to make our own decisions when we are 18 but in middle eastern cultures family interferes a lot and does have an influential role on their childrens future.

You still find in un modern societies (perhaps in some villages in my country) they do still practise these traditions. The kids are raised to beleive that this is normal behaviour and that their parents know best. It doesn't matter whether you are a muslim or not, religion has no effect on it because as a previous poster said, these traditions are also practised in India and India is one of the countires that has a large variety of religions (seekhism, hinduisim, christianism and islam)

I hope i don't offend anyone.

 

[SparklingWaves]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nunu I'm originally from the middle east but i moved to the UK for my studies and from knowledge i know that this is very frequent in many Asian/ Middle eastern cultures. They do not necessary do the whole marriage thing(no signed papers are required and no wedding night till they both reach puberty), it is like an engagment so the 2 people know they are promised for each other, even though they don't love each other but when they reach the age of marriage 18 onwards they can preform the wedding cermony and move in together. I know that my culture grew out of this and where i am from (Sultanate of Oman), which is by Saudi arabia, we do not practise these traditions anymore (some parts still do and it is slowly disapearing) I admit that it is quite selfish on behalf of the parents side to let young kids get married but they are doing it because they think that they have secured their kids's future. I know it sounds weird since we are meant to make our own decisions when we are 18 but in middle eastern cultures family interferes a lot and does have an influential role on their childrens future. You still find in un modern societies (perhaps in some villages in my country) they do still practise these traditions. The kids are raised to beleive that this is normal behaviour and that their parents know best. It doesn't matter whether you are a muslim or not, religion has no effect on it because as a previous poster said, these traditions are also practised in India and India is one of the countires that has a large variety of religions (seekhism, hinduisim, christianism and islam) I hope i don't offend anyone.

Very informative post, nunu. Thank you very much.