I wanted to share with all you lovely specktrettes what has been going on in my life this past week and a half. Hopefully this story can be passed on and shared and some good can be gleaned from a very bad situation.
I work with a very beautiful, very inteligent girl who we'll call C. She, another girl, and I have all become very close friends. We're the "three musketeers" of our unit (we're registered nurses.) She's 27 and a mother of a precious 3 year old little boy. Unfourtunately her relationship with her husband isn't so good. They married because of pregnancy and it's been all downhill from there. He doesn't always necessarily hit her, but he push, shoves, drags, etc. She's come to work many a time with bruises all over. Daily she's dealt with his drug use, screaming, cursing, and belittling. We have begged and begged and begged for her to get out of that relationship. At one point C even was in the process of getting a divorce, and had a restraining order against him. Somehow, he sweet-talked her back. Her father was also abusive towards her mother, so maybe she doesn't know better or believes that some people just are destined to have to put up with that crap.
Things weren't always bad. At one point they went for several months without fighting, but he always lapsed back into the same pattern. I don't believe he is an inherently bad person either- just insecure and unable to cope with not being in control.
Anyhow, about a week ago, in the evening,they commenced to fighting as usual. Afraid of being injured or of letting the argument escalate out of control, she tried to leave for a few minutes to give him time to cool off. She ran down and got in her car. He chased after her. She got in the car and locked the doors. In an attempt to detain her he jumped onto the back of her moving vehicle. He was drunk and not able hold on very well. As she was trying to pull out of the driveway he lost his balance and fell off. She thought he had given up and jumped off, but only got a few seconds down the road before she thought to turn around to make sure he was all right. She found him lying in a pool of blood. He now is in the Neuro Intensive Care Unit of our University hospital. We are being told he is not likely to survive and that his brain is already extensively damaged. He had been in a car accident before and apparently his skull and blood vessels in his brain were weak which made what would seem like a small injury a very large one.
And poor C will never be the same. Though he took the blow in this one, she will take the final one.
I want to share this because I know that some of you out there are bound to be in a relationship similar to this one. I was when I was in college, and I just keep thanking God that Hehelped me get out. There is a way out and the loneliness and fear of rejection is soo much better than having to deal with what C is dealing with right now. She feels guilty.She feels responsible. Her little boy may never speak to his daddy again. The last conversation she had with her husband will be one of anger with words that can't be taken back. She will loose the man she loves in a horrible horrible way.
All I can think is how different things could've been had she just walked away.
Please, please, please, if you are in a place like C, there is a way out and your life will not be over. Walk away.
I work with a very beautiful, very inteligent girl who we'll call C. She, another girl, and I have all become very close friends. We're the "three musketeers" of our unit (we're registered nurses.) She's 27 and a mother of a precious 3 year old little boy. Unfourtunately her relationship with her husband isn't so good. They married because of pregnancy and it's been all downhill from there. He doesn't always necessarily hit her, but he push, shoves, drags, etc. She's come to work many a time with bruises all over. Daily she's dealt with his drug use, screaming, cursing, and belittling. We have begged and begged and begged for her to get out of that relationship. At one point C even was in the process of getting a divorce, and had a restraining order against him. Somehow, he sweet-talked her back. Her father was also abusive towards her mother, so maybe she doesn't know better or believes that some people just are destined to have to put up with that crap.
Things weren't always bad. At one point they went for several months without fighting, but he always lapsed back into the same pattern. I don't believe he is an inherently bad person either- just insecure and unable to cope with not being in control.
Anyhow, about a week ago, in the evening,they commenced to fighting as usual. Afraid of being injured or of letting the argument escalate out of control, she tried to leave for a few minutes to give him time to cool off. She ran down and got in her car. He chased after her. She got in the car and locked the doors. In an attempt to detain her he jumped onto the back of her moving vehicle. He was drunk and not able hold on very well. As she was trying to pull out of the driveway he lost his balance and fell off. She thought he had given up and jumped off, but only got a few seconds down the road before she thought to turn around to make sure he was all right. She found him lying in a pool of blood. He now is in the Neuro Intensive Care Unit of our University hospital. We are being told he is not likely to survive and that his brain is already extensively damaged. He had been in a car accident before and apparently his skull and blood vessels in his brain were weak which made what would seem like a small injury a very large one.
And poor C will never be the same. Though he took the blow in this one, she will take the final one.
I want to share this because I know that some of you out there are bound to be in a relationship similar to this one. I was when I was in college, and I just keep thanking God that Hehelped me get out. There is a way out and the loneliness and fear of rejection is soo much better than having to deal with what C is dealing with right now. She feels guilty.She feels responsible. Her little boy may never speak to his daddy again. The last conversation she had with her husband will be one of anger with words that can't be taken back. She will loose the man she loves in a horrible horrible way.
All I can think is how different things could've been had she just walked away.
Please, please, please, if you are in a place like C, there is a way out and your life will not be over. Walk away.
